Breathe Again
by MysticalGoddessOfWords
Summary: It's been over 6 years since that fateful Christmas Eve. When Alison and Emily come face to face again, will they be able to overcome the past in order to have a future? With Emily back in her life, will Alison finally be able to breathe again? Sequel to Ali's Nightmare Before Christmas. AU as of the end of episode 5x12
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I don't own PLL in any manner, shape or form. I'm only borrowing the characters for a little while to play with them.**

Hi everyone. Well I'm _finally _back with the sequel to **_Ali's Nightmare Before Christmas_**.

Thanks for all your patience and your gentle and sometimes not so gentle nudges and inquiries of when I'd finally start posting. It means so much that you're as eager to read this as I am to finally post it. It took longer to write than I anticipated… what can I say? Life and lack of inspiration due to the how out of whack the show seems to have gone are to blame.

I'll have another short author's note at the end as well as a translation of the few French lines of dialogue. That won't be the norm for this story, just for this introductory chapter…. and then only periodically here and there as necessary.

Enjoy reading and leave a review if you are so inclined…. it really does make my day to hear what you think… both good and bad.

* * *

**_Breathe Again_**

Alison closed the front door behind her and dropped her camera bag onto the floor beside the welcome mat. She rolled her shoulders and her neck cracked as she felt all the stress of the day still weighing heavily on her.

Pepe came bounding up to her, barking once before he head butted her in the groin. She crouched down so she could wrap her arms around him and he started licking her face excitedly.

"Ew, Pepe," she chuckled as she rubbed his head vigorously. Coming home to him always made her feel better. The dog head butted her shoulder causing her to lose her balance and fall back on her ass. He plopped his entire body onto her jean clad thighs and rolled to his side so she could rub his belly. This was his standard greeting and it always made her grin. "Did you miss me, boy?"

Alison spent the next several minutes making up for neglecting the dog recently. One out of town shoot and back to back in-town shoots for the last nine days straight barely gave her enough time to sleep, never mind spend time with her best friend.

It was getting ridiculous trying to handle these photo shoots herself. She needed to find another assistant. It was her own fault she was on her own though. In hindsight, fucking her assistant probably wasn't the best decision. It seemed like every time she did, it blew up in her face. She really needed to keep work and personal separate but she spent almost all her time working, not having much else in her life.

"I'm sorry I've neglected you, baby," Alison cooed but Pepe didn't respond, he just let his tongue loll out the side of his mouth as he wiggled on her lap.

Alison looked at her watch. It was still early enough for her and Pepe to take the walk they'd missed this morning because her shoot started at sunrise.

"You wanna go for a walk before dinner?" she asked as she pushed him off her legs.

Alison picked up her camera bag and dropped it on the bottom stair leading to the second floor before she walked into the kitchen to get Pepe's leash. Pepe sat at the front door patiently as Alison grabbed a bottle of water from the fridge before walking back through the living room She clipped Pepe's leash to his collar before they exited the house.

It was only a three block walk to Ocean Avenue and then five blocks north to the Santa Monica Pier. When she'd finally settled in LA almost three years ago, she wanted a place right on the beach. Unfortunately it was just a little too pricey. She found a cute townhouse condo in her price range a few blocks inland and she bought it without a second thought.

On her days off she and Pepe always took a long walk up to Santa Monica State Beach and the pier, but they weren't going that far today. Sunset was fast approaching and Alison didn't have the energy or the inclination to make the trek. But the park wasn't far and Pepe had been cooped up all day so he deserved some time out in the fresh air.

As Pepe trotted along beside her, the two block walk to the park was just what Alison needed as well. Her phone rang and she pulled it out of her back pocket.

"Hey Nicole, what's up?" she asked as she answered. The woman on the other end spoke quickly and frantically. "Whoa, slow down and tell me what's going on." Alison listened to Nicole for another minute before she sighed. "He's gone though, right?" After a beat. "No, don't call the police. I'll be there soon."

###############

Emily pulled her phone out of her back pocket and looked at the screen. She smiled when she saw the familiar blonde's face announcing who was calling. She lifted her phone to her ear.

"Hey, Han."

"Bonjour," Hanna said cheerily and Emily snickered softly.

"Why are you greeting me in French?" the brunette asked as her eyes once again lifted to the flat screen that listed all the arriving flights. She pushed off the edge of the banister when the she saw the flight she was waiting for pop up on the screen.

"Because you're French now, aren't you?" Hanna replied in a matter-of-fact tone. "You have a fancy French pastry degree, a French girlfriend, a new job at a fancy French _Brassiere_," Hanna rolled her tongue on the last word in a very poor imitation of a French accent.

"That's the worst French accent I've ever heard, Hanna," Emily laughed and shook her head. Damn she'd missed the blonde these past few years.

"Pfft," Hanna scoffed into her ear. "France has turned you into a snob, Emily Fields."

Emily laughed again as she started walking toward the customs' area next to baggage claim. "And _Chez Pierre_ isn't a brasserie. A brasserie is a casual bistro style restaurant. Chez Pierre est un restaurant chic et élégant."

"You're in the US again so you wanna speak the language please," Hanna requested sarcastically.

"English isn't the official language of the US, Hanna."

"Whatever, snob," Emily could practically hear Hanna rolling her eyes. "I don't care where you've been or where you work or who you're fucking. I'm just glad you're back in the good old US of A."

"Me too, Han," Emily admitted honestly. Although she loved living in Paris for the past five years, she was glad to be back. "And by the way what I said was Chez Pierre is chic and elegant French dining."

"How do you say _snob_ in _francais_?"

"I've missed you so much, Hanna," Emily chuckled as she weaved her way through the arriving passengers. She knew it would be a few minutes at least before the Air France flight disembarked and cleared through customs but she was very eager to see one particular arriving passenger.

"If you really missed me you wouldn't have gotten a job all the way in California. Why couldn't you come to New York?" Hanna pouted into her ear.

"Because I wasn't offered a job in New York." Emily leaned casually against the wall so she had a clear view of the customs' exit.

"You didn't even try to get one," Hanna accused.

"Hanna, I'm going to be working under one of the world's most renowned master _pâtissiers_. This is a dream job for me."

"I just miss you." Emily could hear the sincerity in her friend's voice and she smiled.

"You'll just have to come out and visit then."

"Don't you worry, I will." Hanna paused for a second before she spoke again and Emily could tell from her tone she was grinning. "I need to finally meet your little French tart in person."

"I told you to stop calling her that," Emily warned as she frowned softly.

None of her old friends had met Marielle yet, although Hanna had both seen and spoken to her a handful of times when she and Emily FaceTimed. Her parents hadn't even met the girl she'd been dating for two years and with whom she was now going to be living.

"I'm just teasing you, lighten up Em. What's wrong with a French tart? Even she thinks it's funny when I call her that."

Emily smiled slyly. "I make French tarts for a living, Han. Trust me; Mari is much sweeter than they are."

"France has turned you into a naughty girl, Emily Fields," Hanna purred in response. "I kinda love that."

"Shut up, Hanna," Emily choked out a short laugh. Despite the fact that it had been a long time since the topic of sex embarrassed her, and she was the one who started the innuendo, the brunette could still feel the soft blush creeping up her cheeks.

Emily was completely comfortable with herself and her sexuality, had been for many years, but she preferred to keep that part of her life private, in her bedroom; unlike Hanna who said exactly what came into her mind at any given moment no matter where she was or if it was appropriate or not. The brunette was glad Hanna was only in her ear and not in her presence because she was sure her blond friend would deliberately try to embarrass her if she saw even the hint of pink in Emily's cheeks.

"When does she arrive from _Paris_?" Hanna asked.

"I'm at LAX picking her up now. And please stop with the exaggerated French accent already. It really is terrible."

Emily glanced out the window to her right. The sun was just starting to set and she and Marielle were going to hit rush hour traffic for sure. If there was one thing Emily didn't like about LA it was the traffic.

"Ohhh, no wonder you're so testy. Little Emily hasn't gotten laid for a while."

"I'm going to hang up on you Hanna," Emily scowled into the phone because the blonde was right, although Emily would never admit that to her. She'd been in LA for almost a month, having arrived ahead of Marielle, who had to finish the design job she was working on before she could join her girlfriend. Emily's job started a week ago and she had just secured them an apartment the previous weekend.

"Go ahead and try it, bitch, and I'll text you naked pictures of myself and get you in trouble with your girl," Hanna warned and Emily knew from her tone she was only half joking.

"Did I say I missed you a few minutes ago? Never mind I take it back."

"Did you find an apartment yet?" Hanna asked, conveniently ignoring Emily's words.

"Yeah. I just moved in two days ago."

"Is it near where you work?"

"Oh man, I lucked out, Han," Emily replied excitedly. "It's only about six blocks away. I'm gonna get a bike and save tons on gas."

"Aren't _elegant and chic_ French restaurants usually only open for dinner?" Hanna asked. "You shouldn't be riding around on a bike late at night Em."

"Thanks for your concern, _mom_, but I'm a big girl." Emily looked at the time on her phone. What was taking Marielle so long to clear customs? "Besides the restaurant closes at nine thirty most nights and I'll usually be working during the day. Most of the patisserie is prepared in advance."

"God it makes me tingle when you say that word," Hanna purred again and Emily snorted.

A slew of people started to pour out of customs again and Emily hoped they were the passengers from France. A flash of blonde hair to her right caught Emily's eye and she turned her head. Even after all these years she could never resist checking to see if it was _her_.

A blonde was walking toward the escalator leading to security. Her arm was tucked through a dark haired man's as she walked beside him. Emily's breath caught in her throat. For years she thought she saw Alison everywhere. Emily searched for the blonde for months, going as far as Paris on a whim, on the slight chance that she'd be there. She even hired a private investigator recommended by Spencer, but after almost a year, Emily finally had to accept Alison didn't want to be found.

It still took a couple of years for Emily to stop trying to find her first love in every blonde she encountered but it still happened every once in a while. Times like these, when she was sure the walk was the same, the curve of her hips was the same and the long blonde tresses fell just the right way.

Instinctively Emily pushed off the wall and started toward the escalator. She couldn't see the blonde's face but something compelled her to follow.

"Hanna, I have to go," Emily said distracted now.

"Awww, okay," Hanna pouted. "Give your girl a big kiss from me and tell her I'll be invading your love nest soon."

Emily weaved through the throngs of people. Why was LAX so fucking busy all the time?

"Sure thing. I'll call you this weekend, okay."

The blonde and her dark haired male companion stopped at the bottom of the escalator and handed their tickets and passports to the security guard at the bottom.

"Au revoir," Hanna chimed in her ear and Emily shook her head again.

"Goodbye, Hanna."

Emily ended the call just before bumping into a man crossing her path. "Oh, I'm sorry," she mumbled but kept going, drawing closer to the blonde. Panic flooded her system because if she didn't reach the blonde before the security guard finished reviewing her passport, she'd be inside security and Emily would have no way to find out if it was Alison.

Just as she was about to barrel over an elderly couple, the blonde turned in her direction, stopping Emily in her tracks. Her eyes met Emily's for a brief moment and she smiled and Emily's stomach dropped, disappointment flooding her.

She stumbled backwards and her back hit the glass window behind her.

What the fuck was she doing? She had a girlfriend who loved her and who had moved halfway across the world to be with her. So why was she once again chasing after an unknown blonde she thought might be Alison?

"Emily?" the brunette heard her name being called from her left and she looked up.

Her lips curved at the sight of the beautiful brunette walking toward her. Her long hair was pulled up into a messy bun at the back of her head and her stark green eyes were bright as she smiled. She was long and lean and even in flats she was slightly taller than Emily. And as always just the sight of her made Emily smile, despite the knot of guilt resting in her gut.

Emily moved forward and Marielle walked straight into her arms, hugging the brunette fiercely. Her girlfriend's hugs were like no other Emily had ever experienced. Marielle hugged with her entire body and it left no question that hugging you was exactly what she wanted to be doing.

"I've missed you, mon cherie" she murmured against the skin of Emily's neck.

"I've missed you too, Mar," Emily responded as she held onto her girlfriend just as tight.

Marielle turned her head and kissed Emily's ear before pulling back, releasing Emily from her arms. She pressed her lips to Emily's and Emily lost herself in the soft kiss, letting the memory of the blonde she'd been following only moments earlier fade away.

"I'm so happy you're here," Emily said honestly once the kiss ended.

Marielle grinned and grabbed Emily's hand as she pressed against her side before tugging her towards the turnstile. "Me too, mon amour. I'm sorry I wasn't able to get here sooner."

Emily lifted Marielle's hand to her lips. "It's okay. Did you get everything finalized before you left?"

They stopped in front of the turnstile to wait for the luggage to appear.

"Yes. I'm ready to start our new adventure here in your country. I can't wait to start à décorer notre appartement." Marielle smiled as she kissed Emily's cheek. "Our first home together."

Emily chuckled and squeezed Marielle's fingers. Her girlfriend loved to mix French and English when she spoke. "Well don't get too excited just yet. It needs a lot of work. I haven't had much time to find any furniture so all we have is a bed."

"Mmmm," Marielle purred softly. "What more do we need?"

Emily chuckled and leaned down to kiss her girlfriend softly so very glad she was finally here.

###########

Alison held the black and white photo at eye level, her sore shoulder not allowing her to lift it above her head as she looked at it in the muted red light. She smiled at the sight of Pepe running along the surf, with the sun and the Santa Monica Pier behind him.

She'd taken the photos on their walk the previous morning. Hanging out at the beach was one of their favorite things to. Well he loved to run in the sand and surf and she liked to take pictures of him doing it.

As a professional photographer, Alison almost always used a digital camera for her work. Digital had many advantages and made her job much easier by instantly being able to view the photographs as she was taking them, and then being able to manipulate the images in a computer.

But for her personal photos, her preference was old fashioned black and white still film. It was the way she learned photography, the way her father had taught her when she was a child. There was just something authentic about it; the process of developing, the smell of the chemicals and the clarity of the images that made Alison prefer it. She liked film because it was less forgiving than digital capture and lack of forgiveness was a constant theme in her life. It was twisted, she knew, but then again there were a lot of people who would say she was too.

Alison preferred black and white over color because of the shadows that seemed to conceal the secrets of the subject. Alison had always liked secrets and although secrets were what ultimately resulted in her downfall, she still couldn't help the allure of them for her. She tried, these days, not to keep secrets, at least from those closest to her, but old habits die hard. She'd come a long way in the last six years but she was who she was.

Alison flipped the switch on the wall and the room was flooded with light. She carefully and slowly stretched her arm up and clipped the last photo to the drying line and then started cleaning up. She could hear Pepe whimpering outside the door so she hurried, knowing she'd again neglected him far too long tonight.

"I'm coming Pepe," she said loud enough for the dog to hear. He barked in return making Alison chuckle. He sure did like to mouth off to her. She didn't put up with that from just anyone, but Pepe got away with more than anyone else in her life, human or animal.

Alison exited the darkroom, closing the door behind her as Pepe head butted her, making his displeasure known.

"You really are needy in your old age," Alison said as she rubbed his ears. He barked at her again and then followed her into her bedroom.

It was almost midnight and she was exhausted. All she wanted to do was fall into bed but she felt grimy from her long day, especially after it ended, first with her chasing Pepe around the park for almost an hour and then having to go to Venice. So she really needed a shower and some Advil and a good night's sleep.

Alison walked into the adjoining bathroom and stripped out of her clothes before stepping into shower, closing the glass door behind her. She heard Pepe bark. She laughed when she looked over to find him pressing his nose to the other side of the glass.

"I draw the line at letting you shower with me, Pepe," the blond chuckled as she tilted her head back into the stream of water.

Pepe barked again and then settled on the rug in front of the shower door. Alison let the last of the stress of the day wash away with the water. It had been a successful shoot overall, despite Michelle, the fashion editor, breathing down her neck most of the day. Alison did not do well with anyone getting in her space, especially when she was working. Fortunately Michelle knew Alison's personality by now well enough to know when to back off.

Alison was happy with the photographs she took and she planned to spend the next day or two sorting through them, manipulating them and cleaning them up before meeting with Michelle again on Wednesday morning.

She'd fallen into fashion photography by chance. She had been working as a freelance travel photographer, falling into that also by chance when an editor for _Condé Nast Traveler_ magazine saw her pictures on her laptop in a café in Monte Carlo. He commented on her sharp eye and offered to buy several of the photographs, on the spot, for an upcoming issue. Although Alison didn't typically talk to strangers, there was something about the older man that reminded her of her father.

Several months later one of the fashion editors of _Vogue_, another magazine in the Condé Nast family, saw her pictures and hired her for a series of fashion shoots. She was introduced to the Chairman of the company at a charity fundraiser and she now floated among many of their magazines, photographing people, places and things, whatever the shoot called for. In the last several years, she'd done photo shoots for almost every publication in the Condé Nast family.

She loved what she did and the freedom it provided her. She only took the assignments she wanted to, working when she wanted, taking time off when she didn't. She still periodically traveled, although more of her work was in LA these days, and that suited her just fine. She never liked leaving Pepe when she was traveling, taking him with her whenever she was going to be gone for an extended period of time. But as the dog got older and a little more ornery, she was content to stay home, finally feeling like she'd found a place she wanted to call home after so long. So she chose most of her assignments these days to remain in and around Los Angeles.

Alison shut off the water and grabbed a towel off the warming rack, wrapping it around her body. She practically tripped over Pepe when he didn't even flinch as she stepped out of the shower.

"Jeez, get out of the way, will ya?" she scolded the dog, who stood up and stretched slowly, not even fazed by the reprimand.

Pepe strolled back into the bedroom as Alison brushed her teeth and because she was so sore she elected to just tie her hair into a loose knot on the top of her head. She examined the large bruises forming on her shoulder and right side and sighed before swallowing back two Advil. She walked into the bedroom and grabbed a pair of boxer shorts that had once belonged to Jack and a blue tank top she'd stolen from Emily's house right after she'd returned to Rosewood. It was old and ratty now, and it had a small hole just beneath her right boob, but she always wore it to bed.

Always.

It was the only thing she had of the brunette's and it was priceless to her. She would wear it until it was in rags.

Alison slowly ran her fingers over the spot just above her left breast, shivering softly as she felt the scar that still resided there. She touched it every night, as a reminder of what she'd gone through and that she was alive.

Alison climbed into bed next to Pepe, who was already in his spot on the right side on top of the duvet. She shook her head.

"No wonder none of my relationships last," she said to him as she stroked his side.

The few times she'd had overnight "guests" Pepe had made his displeasure known that his side of the bed was occupied. From barking and growling to once even peeing on the occupant, Alison soon realized that having sleepovers were not the best idea. Not that she did it often. Her bedroom was her sanctuary, the place she felt the safest and the place she let very few people enter.

Alison reached over to turn off the light, her eyes stopping on the framed photograph resting on the night table. She picked it up and looked at the faces smiling back at her. One was her own. The other was the brunette who still held her heart. The picture was taken the night Mrs. Fields had the girls over for dinner. It was just her and Emily, before Hanna arrived and started in with her passive aggressive attack at the table.

They were both smiling at the camera with their arms around each other's waist. Emily had gently rubbed her fingers against the small of her back and Alison could swear she still felt the ghost of that touch sometimes. That was one of the last times Emily had touched her before everything blew up. Before Emily turned her back on her after the whole Cyrus debacle and Mona's murder and then... Courtney.

Thinking about her sister still, even after all these years, made it hard for Alison to breathe. For years she relived that night over and over until Cece finally dragged her ass to a shrink. Alison fought it every step of the way. She didn't want to sit on a couch and tell her life story with all it's fucked up drama to a total stranger. What good would it do? Her sister was dead. She was broken beyond repair. And she'd lost the one person who meant everything to her.

But the woman had been persistent, even though Alison was a bitch of epic proportions. She had eventually opened up and once the dam had broken it was like a tidal wave. Alison didn't think she had ever raged and screamed and cried that much in her life. She relived every frightening and heartbreaking second of that night and the two years she was alone on the streets. But when it was over, when her eyes were almost swollen shut, when her voice was raw, and she was too weak to stand; that's when she felt she might just have a chance to heal all the broken pieces inside her.

That was over two years ago and she was still on the journey, still a long way, she knew, from truly finding peace. But every day it seemed like she was getting closer.

Then every night Alison would look at the picture of her and Emily and one of those partially healed pieces shattered again. Not having the brunette in her life left an emptiness that no one else had ever been able to fill and a dull ache that never seemed to go away.

"Night, Em," Alison said softly as she gently caressed Emily's face before setting the picture back on the table. Then she rubbed her scar again before she turned off the light and slid under the covers.

She carefully rolled onto her side and reached over, slipping her fingers through Pepe's fur, gripping it gently as she both felt and heard soft snores coming from beside her.

###############

Emily fastened her hair in a knot behind her head before glancing at the small clock on the bathroom counter. It was just after two thirty. It only took her ten minutes to bike to work but she liked to get there fifteen minutes early so she could freshen up and change into her chef's uniform. The restaurant had all the uniforms freshly laundered each morning so she always wore her own clothes to work and changed once she arrived, changing, again, back into her clothes at the end of her shift.

She absolutely loved her job. If anyone had asked her six years ago if she thought she would be a pastry chef, she would have told them they were crazy. She never really even liked sweets but she supposed that was a good thing. Otherwise she would probably weight five hundred pounds because she spent all her time making all manner of sweets. Cakes, candies, pastries, desserts and breads were her life.

"You're going to be late if you don't leave soon, mon amour," Marielle called from the bedroom.

Emily walked across the hall to the bedroom while fastening her watch to her wrist. "I know. I'm leaving now."

Marielle was sprawled on their queen sized bed with her tablet on her lap and several design magazines spread out around her. Emily smiled at the familiar sight. Marielle had a perfectly good desk in the east corner of the living room but she always managed to find herself spread out all over their bed. She told Emily she was more comfortable on the bed but Emily knew it was because her girlfriend didn't like the small desk, the only size that would fit, in that corner of the living room of their one bedroom apartment.

Their apartment was still fairly spacious for a one bedroom. It had vaulted ceilings throughout, an oversized living room and both a dining room and a breakfast nook, as well as a balcony that had a view of the Ferris wheel on the Santa Monica Pier in the distance. But she knew Marielle would have preferred a two bedroom so she could have used one as a home office.

As an interior designer, she oftentimes, even in only the month that she'd been working, brought work home from the office. Had Emily realized how important that was to her and how often she'd be bringing work home, the brunette would have tried to get a two bedroom. But apartment inventory was in short supply in Santa Monica and prices were much higher than either of them had anticipated when they decided to make the move to California.

And when Emily had found this apartment she fell in love with both its charm and proximity to the restaurant. Marielle had quickly found a job at a boutique design firm based in Westwood so she was going to have to drive to work regardless, but this apartment's proximity to work allowed Emily to ride her newly purchased bike.

Of course Marielle had argued that saving all that money on gas should have allowed them the ability to afford a larger apartment, but they were now locked into a year lease. So Emily promised her girlfriend that when their lease was up they could look for a bigger place.

"What's the point of your office taking a 'mental health day' on Wednesdays if you're still working from home?" Emily asked curiously as she walked closer to the bed.

"I am taking a mental health day." Emily arched a brow at the beautiful brunette in front of her, causing her to laugh. Emily loved the sound of Marielle's laugh. "This isn't for work," Marielle continued as she patted the spot next to her on the mattress, inviting Emily to sit down. "I'm looking for us."

"But we have furniture now," Emily replied a little confused as she sat down.

It had taken almost the two months since Marielle arrived for her girlfriend to find just the right pieces for their place. If it had been up to her, Emily would have gone to the closest furniture store and bought everything all in one place. But after Marielle had picked her jaw up off the floor when Emily suggested it, she schooled Emily in the importance of seeking out each piece of furniture individually. Each piece had to say something about them and their personalities and their life together, otherwise what was the point of it.

Rather than argue, which she knew from experience would get her nowhere, Emily let Marielle have her way. However, that unfortunately resulted in them eating standing up at the kitchen counter for three weeks and not having a sofa to sit on until just four days ago.

"Yes we do, mon amour," Marielle replied indulgently. "But now that we've got the furniture, we need to find les ornements."

"Of course we do," Emily smiled back just as indulgently.

Marielle laughed again and leaned forward to press her lips to Emily's. "Passe une belle journée au travail ma chérie."

Emily hummed softly against her lips. "Merci mon cœur."

Emily stood and headed back out of the bedroom. "I should be home by ten."

"Je t'attendrai nue," Marielle called after her, causing Emily to stop in her tracks and turn around. Her girlfriend was smiling impishly.

"You better be," Emily replied, her voice low and husky before she turned back around and shook off the image her girlfriend's words evoked.

Otherwise she would never get through the next six hours.

###############

Alison sat in the director's chair and perused the pictures in her camera's viewfinder, making sure she got all the shots she wanted. The smell coming from the kitchen behind her was making her mouth water. Someone was baking some sort of chocolate heaven in there, Alison was sure, and it took all her willpower not to walk back there and ask for a taste.

Maybe that's why she was feeling so cranky. When the crew broke for lunch, Alison had taken a conference call with Samuel about her shoot in the Bahamas next month. As a result she didn't have time to eat and that just made the scent wafting from the kitchen all that more tempting.

"Can I pack these lights up, boss?" Alison heard from behind her and she scowled but didn't reply.

She heard the sound of fingers drumming on the arm of the chair next to her and she turned and glared at the person attached to them.

"Cut the crap Jack. I'll tell you when I want the lights packed up."

"Someone is cranky today," he said as his lips curved into a boyish grin. It only made Alison glare harder at him before she looked back to her camera.

"That grin doesn't work on me anymore."

Jack laughed out loud. "Who are you kidding? That grin never worked on you."

Alison's scowl morphed into a smirk.

"It's too bad they don't open until five. We could have grabbed dinner," Jack said casually while he waited for Alison to tell him it was time to wrap it up.

"I know," Alison replied woefully. "I'm about ready to storm the kitchen and dive head first into the first chocolate item I come across."

"I do love the image of you covered in chocolate I must say."

"That's because you've seen me covered in chocolate," Alison snickered.

"This is true," Jack grinned. "I've never enjoyed licking chocolate off anyone as much before or since."

"I want to retake the shot with the owner by the entrance," Alison replied completely ignoring his comment.

"Oh good, I haven't taken those lights down yet either," Jack said more to himself.

Mandi, the wardrobe stylist, walked up to her. "Pierre wants to keep his suit."

Alison nodded without looking up from her camera. "Let him. I'll let Naomi know I approved it."

"Groovy," Mandi replied making Alison chuckle.

"You really date yourself when you say shit like that."

"I know." Mandi grinned. "But I'm forty and I look better than most twenty five year olds so I don't give a fuck."

Alison smirked in response. Mandi was her favorite stylist to work with because the two of them had very similar personalities and views on life.

"Can you ask Pierre to come out one more time?" Alison asked a waitress who was setting the tables nearby.

The girl nodded and smiled before she walked away. Jack's eyes followed her and Alison reached up and smacked him in the chest as she stood up and grabbed her tripod.

"Don't be a pig. Will you move that silk a little to the right?" Alison asked as she set her camera on the tripod and adjusted the aperture.

"I saw you eyeing her out of the corner of your eye too," Jack replied as he did as she asked.

Pierre walked over at that moment and saved Alison from either confirming or denying Jack's words.

"Ashley," Alison called to the makeup artist sitting at the bar. "Can you make him a little less shiny please?"

Ashley grabbed her bag and walked over as Pierre sat in the chair Alison had vacated.

"I'm not happy with the shots I took by the entrance," she said to Pierre as she reached into her camera bag to swap out her zoom. "So I just want to retake them and then we're done."

Ten minutes later Alison was packing up her camera as Jack started breaking down the flags and lights.

"I really need to find another assistant. This packing up my own gear at the end of a shoot blows."

"What happened to Annie anyway?" Jack asked as he switched off the Kino and pulled the diffuser away.

"It was time for her to move on," Alison said noncommittally.

"That sounds like a story."

"Well it's not," Alison snapped, really not wanting to get into it. "I just need another assistant. And preferably one that doesn't want to sleep with me," Alison added after the fact.

Jack turned from where he was wrapping cable. "You slept with another one? Damn girl, do you ever not end up fucking them?"

"Fuck you, Jack," Alison growled lowly. "I didn't sleep with all of them."

Jack eyed her knowingly. "Which one?"

"I didn't sleep with Jasmine."

"But you did sleep with Nathan and Carly. Wait a minute, didn't you actually sleep with them together?" he teased even though Alison had never admitted if she had despite the numerous times he begged her to tell him.

"I really don't like how you know so much about my sex life." Alison zipped up her camera bag and slung it over her shoulder.

"That's what I love about you Alison. You sleep with men, you sleep with women, you sleep with dogs. You don't give a fuck. You just do whatever and whoever you want."

"First of all Jack, eww. That sounded really gross the way you said it." He laughed unrepentantly. "And second," Alison punched him in the bicep. "You not only make me sound like a whore but a pervert. You just resent Pepe because he peed on you."

"Your dog is a psycho."

"He's a better bed mate than you are. He doesn't snore." That was a complete lie but there was no way Alison was going sell Pepe out.

"I don't fucking snore," Jack growled and Alison laughed in response.

"Uh huh," Alison hummed noncommittally. "Come on. Hurry up and pack those lights away and I'll buy you dinner at La Vecchia."

"Photo shoot at a French restaurant. Dinner at an Italian restaurant. I like a girl who gets around."

"I'm giving you ten minutes and then I'm leaving without you."

#################

While she waited for Jack to pack up the rest of his gear, Alison leaned against the hostess desk at the front of the restaurant. She was sending a text to Jason to ask him if he'd stop by her house and take Pepe for a walk. Although the last time it happened, she vowed it was the last time it would happen, but Alison had a feeling she might end up going back to Jack's place tonight.

Pierre walked up to her with a gift box. He opened it as he approached and Alison actually whimpered as she looked inside.

He smiled at her reaction. "This is a house specialty. Soufflé au chocolat avec ganache au chocolat et crème fouettée."

Alison whimpered again. Pierre didn't bother to translate for Alison because she had told him earlier she knew French.

"We have a new pâtissier. She just moved here from Paris and this is her own personal recipe."

"It looks divine." Alison hoped she wasn't drooling because that would have been extremely embarrassing.

"It tastes even better. We sell out of it every day." He closed the box and handed it to her. "Avec mes compliments."

"Merci," Alison replied as she smiled gratefully. Maybe Jack would get another opportunity to lick chocolate off once again.

A female laugh echoed softly through the dining room and Alison froze. She knew that laugh. Even if a hundred years had passed, she'd know that laugh anywhere.

Alison's chest tightened and she felt like she was suffocating. She stepped backwards toward the door.

She couldn't look. She didn't dare look.

Pierre reached a hand out to her. "Are you alright, Alison?"

"I'm sorry Pierre but I have to go," she choked out in a strangled tone as she handed the box back to him. "I'll have the proofs to my editor by the end of the week."

Alison's back hit the door and she spun around to push it open. Her eyes caught sight of the tall brunette in a white chef's uniform standing at the entrance to the kitchen. She was talking to the bartender and even from this distance Alison could see she had a streak of flour on her cheek.

Alison felt like she'd been struck in the chest and she had to look away.

"Alison," Pierre said again concerned as she shoved the door open.

Emily looked up when she heard the familiar name. She gasped, dropping the tray of cream puffs in her hand as she saw the blonde pushing through the front door.

Of all the times over the years when she _thought_ she'd seen Alison, there was always something about the numerous blondes that just weren't right. But for the very first time Emily knew, even before the blonde's head turned in her direction, that it really was Alison.

Alison eyes met hers for several seconds and Emily saw the same confusion and pain she was feeling echoed in them before the blonde turned her head again and bolted from view.

#############

Alison slammed the door behind her and sunk to her knees. She hung her head forward in surrender as she struggled to breathe. Her chest felt like there was an elephant sitting on it and no matter what she did or how much air she tried to inhale she couldn't fill her lungs.

Pepe came bounding over as he always did and head butted her in the shoulder. Sensing her distress, he whimpered softly as she wrapped her arms around him and buried her face in his neck. She was shaking and the not so small dog wiggled as he struggled to climb on top of her.

"Oh, Pepe," she sighed softly into his fur. Part of her wanted to rage and scream and cry but the other part was just too defeated. She had worked too hard to stay out of Emily's life, to give the brunette a fresh start without the baggage of having the blonde in her life. But now it was all for naught.

A sound coming from the direction of the kitchen put Alison on alert. She'd elected to park on the street in front of her townhouse rather than drive around to the garage in the back, so she entered the house through the rarely used front door rather than the kitchen.

"Hello?" she called as she gripped onto Pepe's fur.

"Hey," a male voice rang out and Alison released the breath she was holding.

"Fuck, Jason," Alison growled as she pushed Pepe off her legs and stood up, her legs feeling a little wobbly. She walked toward the back of the townhouse and around the wall into the kitchen. "Why didn't you say something when you heard me come in?"

Jason wiggled out from beneath the sink. "I figured you heard me banging around in here. What are you deaf?"

Her brother looked up at her with an amused look and Alison's irritation faded, although she continued to scowl. "You're such an ass."

Jason shrugged and ducked back under the sink.

"What are you doing here?"

"What does it look like I'm doing?" he asked sarcastically. "You said your garbage disposal wasn't working, right? What the fuck do you put down here anyway?"

"I didn't mean for you to come fix it," Alison said as she sat on the kitchen floor and crossed her legs. Pepe came over and plopped onto her lap again. He was always clingy, especially when he sensed she was upset. "I could have called a plumber."

"It's stupid to pay a plumber when I know how to replace one." Jason reached out and grabbed a different wrench.

"It has to be replaced?" Alison frowned. "I just thought something was stuck in it."

"You burned the motor out. Like I asked, what the fuck did you put down here? It looked like bones." Jason asked as he laughed.

"I got Pepe a steak last week because I felt bad for being out of town."

"You're supposed to trash the bones Ali, not grind them."

Alison shrugged. It was worth it because Pepe had loved his steak.

After a few minutes of silence, Jason looked out from beneath the sink. "Is there a reason why you're sitting here watching me?"

Alison bit her bottom lip anxiously. She looked away as she mumbled softly. "I saw Emily today."

The blonde turned back at the sound of metal clanging as Jason smacked his head on the pipe. "What did you just say?" he asked through clenched teeth as he wiggled out from under the sink and sat up, rubbing his head.

"I saw Emily today," Alison said again, this time more clearly. "She's here in LA."

"Where did you see her?" Jason asked carefully.

Emily was a very delicate subject and he always had to tread carefully because even just the mention of her could send Alison spiraling. Too many times over the years, he'd had to pick her up, both physically and emotionally, whenever Alison saw the brunette.

Of course, Emily never saw Alison, the blonde was always extremely careful. She always made sure her high school love never knew she was watching the numerous times she'd tracked the brunette down.

"She was at the restaurant where my shoot was. She works there."

"Did she see you?" Jason asked just as cautiously as he moved a little closer in case Alison tried something. She had lightening quick reflexes and Jason had missed stopping her from reacting at least a handful of times.

"Relax," Alison scowled at him as she backed away from him. "I'm not going to do anything."

Alison stood up quickly and moved even further away. She hated when Jason crowded her. She knew he did it only because he cared but sometimes his hovering just made it worse. She wrung her fingers together.

"What happened?" Jason asked as he also stood up but the doorbell rang before Alison could answer.

Neither one of them moved at first but then Alison sighed and walked past him and out of the kitchen as she said. "Can you hurry up fixing that please? I want to be alone tonight."

Alison approached the door and pulled it open without bothering to look through the peep hole. Pepe scurried up next to her barking excitedly.

Standing on the front stoop, looking just as frazzled as Alison felt, still wearing her chef's uniform and holding the dessert box from Pierre, was Emily.

Alison hiccupped and stopped breathing as she, for the first time since that fateful night six years ago, came face to face with her mermaid.

* * *

Second author's note:

My goal is to update this once a week, most likely Sunday nights or Mondays. But I make no promises… this is the busiest time of year for me work wise. Thanks in advance for your patience and again for taking the time to read and review.

I'm not French…..I don't speak French…. so all I can say is thank goodness for Google Translate. If anyone sees that I've completely fucked up their language…. please feel free to let me know.

* * *

_French translation:_

à décorer notre appartement – decorating our apartment

les morceaux d'accent et accessories – the accent pieces and accessories

Avoir une belle journée au travail ma chérie – Have a wonderful day at work my darling

Merci mon amie – Thank you sweetheart

Je vais attendre pour vous nue – I'll be waiting for you naked.

Soufflé au chocolat avec ganache au chocolat et la crème fouettée – Chocolate souffle with chocolate ganache and whipped cream."

Avec ma grace – With my thanks.


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: I own nothing and no one. Just borrowing them again for a while.**

Hi everyone…. I know I said I'd be posting on Sundays or Mondays but since this is ready I thought I'd just post a little early.

Thanks so much for all the great replies and feedback. I'm so giddy that you're enjoying the story. This is different from my norm so it's been challenging and fun and frustrating, all wrapped up in one, to write it. But I wouldn't have it any other way. :)

I don't like leaving long author's notes up here because I feel it distracts from the story. And I don't do this often, but I would like to just address a few comments I received from the first chapter. I'll put them at the end of the chapter so if anyone wants to read them, they can. If not, at least it didn't distract you from jumping right back into the story.

Thanks again for reading and reviewing and I hope you enjoy!

* * *

**Chapter 2  
**

* * *

Alison felt her heart squeeze in her chest as she looked at the woman standing in her doorway.

Emily looked as miserable and confused and hurt as Alison herself felt. And it made the blonde want to hurl herself at the brunette, kiss her senseless and confess everything. It was only her fear of Emily's rejection that held her back.

It had been over six years since they'd been face to face. Not since that night, standing in the church doorway, when Alison finally told Emily the truth of how she felt. Certain she was going to die; Alison had to make sure Emily knew.

But she didn't die. The firefighters burst into the room just after she collapsed, overcome by the smoke, just as the last of her awareness was fading away. She'd gone back to make sure Courtney didn't escape, willing to sacrifice herself, to ensure Emily and the other girls were safe. She didn't expect to make it out of there alive. But by some miracle she did.

Then, unable to cope with the physical and emotion damage she sustained, Alison ran. Again. She knew she was going to hurt Emily in the process because all she ever done was hurt the people she loved. She hated it, hated herself for it. But Alison knew it had been the right thing to do, for both of them, even though it had torn them both to shreds. She deserved whatever wrath Emily had for her so despite the fact that she could hardly breath, she stepped back so Emily could enter the house.

Emily walked in slowly; looking around the room, sensing Alison in everything, from the decor to the subtle scent that Emily remembered always seemed to permeate Alison's space.

Peep greeted her, barking and head butting her excitedly, obviously remembering her.

"Hi, Pepe," Emily said as she looked down and patted his head. He was older but he looked basically the same. Part her was surprised that Alison still had the dog since she usually abandoned those who loved her. As quickly as the thought came to her, so did the shame for judging Alison so harshly. Pepe was obviously a very loved and happy animal. He licked her hand as she stroked under his chin like she remembered he liked.

"Pepe, leave her alone," Alison said softly and the dog immediately obeyed but plopped himself down on top of her feet.

Emily looked up at Alison, really looked at her, taking her in for the first time in over six years. How could one woman be so utterly beautiful?

And she was a woman now. They both were.

Gone was the apple shaped face Emily remembered. Alison's face had thinned out, although it still retained a slight roundness, more of a heart than an apple now. The dimple in her chin was still one of the most prominent features, second only to her fathomless azure eyes.

As Alison's face had matured so had the rest of her. Before her first disappearance, Alison was thin and barely defined. More limbs and straight lines. They all had been, still young girls just barely on the cusp of womanhood. By the time she'd returned two years later, they had all bloomed, filled out in the places young girls fill out as they progress through their teen years.

But now, Emily could only describe Alison as womanly. Although still slender, the blonde had curves now, just the right amount of curves, in all the right places. Although she, herself, was long and lean, Emily liked a little meat on her girls; liked the feel of soft flesh beneath her fingers, not protruding bones. Alison had exactly that and Emily felt a tingle low in her abdomen as she looked at the blonde in front of her.

Her eyes raked over Alison of their own volition, settling briefly on her breasts. Emily couldn't help herself, she was a boob girl, and Alison had glorious breasts. Emily swallowed as her eyes soaked in the soft swell of flesh that peeked out above the collar of her shirt, just the hint of a shadow in her cleavage and she heard Alison gasp softly.

Her eyes whipped up to Alison's face. The blonde's blue orbs were dark and intense but Alison's lips were curved slightly on the right side into a smirk. This wasn't the trademark sarcastic smirk she had years ago. This was one of knowing amusement. She knew Emily was checking her out and she clearly liked it.

When their eyes met, Alison's smirk faltered and turned into a frown.

"What are you doing here Emily?" the blonde asked as she crossed her arms over her chest defensively.

Distracted from her perusal by Alison's abrupt greeting, Emily looked at her incredulously. "Are you seriously asking me that?"

"You shouldn't have come here," Alison replied. "How did you even know where to find me?"

Emily tilted her head curiously. While Alison seemed defensive and a little angry, Emily could hear a slight shakiness to the tone of her voice.

"The guy who was packing up the lights."

"Fucking Jack," Alison growled under her breath. She was going to kick his ass the next time she saw him. If she ever fucking hired him again, that is.

"Why did you run from me Alison?" Emily asked using Alison's full name, something she only ever did when she was angry or upset with the blonde.

There it was right there and Alison was expecting it. Emily had always been very direct, even when she was young and shy. But the Emily Alison met after she returned to Rosewood was far more direct and to the point than her younger self.

Alison could try to lie and say she hadn't seen Emily, was just in a hurry to get home, but she knew the brunette would never believe her. And lying was something Alison tried very hard not to do any more. But it was a fine line between telling Emily the truth and the whole truth.

Alison shrugged. "I was shocked to see you. I didn't know you lived in LA now."

"I didn't –"

The sound of a crash coming from the kitchen interrupted Emily's reply.

"Jason," Alison huffed. "What the hell are you doing in there?" The blonde turned around and stalked across the room.

Emily walked a little further into the living room as Pepe stood up and followed Alison into the kitchen. She could hear Alison and Jason arguing on the other side of the wall as she placed the pastry box on the coffee table in front of the sofa.

"You need to leave," Alison hissed angrily.

"I'm not leaving you alone with her," he refused.

"Jason, I'm an adult," Alison replied in a frustrated tone. "You need to just back off right now and go."

"No." There was a sound of more banging and some scraping. "What the hell are you doing Ali? I'm not done fixing that."

"Yes, for today you are," Alison insisted. "You can come back tomorrow but you need to get lost now."

Emily walked over to the fireplace and looked at the two framed photographs resting near the center. One was of Alison, Jason and Pepe at the beach. She knew it was Santa Monica State beach because the pier was in the background.

The second photo was Alison and Cece standing in front of the Eiffel Tower. Emily gasped. Alison had been in Paris sometime in the last six years.

Anger and hurt joined her shock and flared deep in her gut.

"This is a really bad idea, Ali" she heard Jason say in a low urgent tone.

"Jason, just go," Alison's voice took on a shrill edge and Emily wondered what the big deal was. Why the heck was Jason so hesitant to leave Alison alone with her?

"You better call me later," he said after a beat and then Emily heard a door slam. It wasn't until a minute or so later that Alison walked back around the wall followed closely by Pepe.

"Should I take it personally that Jason was clearly not happy to see me?"

"Why did you follow me, Emily?" she asked, ignoring Emily's question as she stepped up beside the sofa.

Emily looked at her incredulously again. "Alison, the last time I saw you, you shoved me out of a burning building and slammed the doors behind me."

"I did what I had to do," Alison replied matter-of-factly as Pepe walked over and plopped himself at Emily's feet again.

"Are you fucking kidding me?" Emily blurted out. She rarely cursed but she couldn't help herself. "How could you do that? Do you have any idea what that did to me? I knew you were selfish Ali, but I never thought you could do something like that."

"I did it for you," Alison hissed. "Everything I've ever done is to protect you."

"I didn't need your protection, Ali," Emily hissed right back. "I needed you to live. I thought you _died_ in that building," she finished with a raised voice.

Pepe whimpered softly, clearly not liking the anger radiating off both women.

"Well I didn't," Alison replied harshly. "I have more lives than a cat," she added attempting to ease the tension in the room. She failed miserably.

Emily's mouth dropped open in disbelief. "That's your answer? Seriously?"

"I don't know what you want me to say," Alison replied more calmly than she felt.

Emily turned around and looked out the front window briefly as she tried to calm herself down. Pepe walked over to Alison and nudged her thigh and she reached down and stroked his head. Finally Emily turned back to face Alison.

"Why wouldn't you see me afterward?"

Alison scoffed. "I was a mess Emily. I knew it would hurt you to see me like that."

"Didn't you think that refusing to see me was hurting me? I wanted to be there for you but you or Jason or Cece, whoever it was who insisted on keeping me away, wouldn't let me. And then you were just gone."

"Didn't you read my letter?" Alison asked although she knew Emily did. Cece had told her once how Emily reacted.

"Of course I did. Your letter destroyed me," Emily replied harshly, not caring if her words hurt Alison. Part of her secretly wished it did.

"I'm sorry I hurt you," Alison said honestly. "But I had to go Em."

Emily frowned. She's always thought if Alison apologized, she would feel better. But she didn't. In some ways it made her feel worse.

"I looked for you," Emily said as she stepped closer to Alison. "I went all the way to Paris, thinking maybe you were there" Emily continued as she stepped even closer. The blonde inhaled a startled breath and stepped back. "For years I stayed there just in case you showed up and now I see you were there," Emily flung her arm wide as she motioned to the picture on the mantle. "With Cece. How long were you there? When were you there?"

"It doesn't matter, Emily," Alison replied as she clenched her fists at her sides, digging her short fingernails into her palm, letting the pain help ease her anxiety.

"Yes it does!" Emily replied, her voice rising in volume again as she got right up into Alison's face. Pepe stood up and growled softly. "I hired a private investigator to look for you Alison."

"You think I don't know that?" Alison yelled back. "It wasn't easy keeping one step ahead of you."

Emily stepped back then like she'd been slapped. "You knew I was looking for you and deliberately hid.

"I told you in my letter that I wanted you to move on," Alison insisted. "Why couldn't you just do what I asked?"

"I loved you Alison," Emily replied hoarsely as her anger and hurt started to overwhelm her. "That doesn't just go away because you write me a lame letter and tell me to move on."

Alison felt a sharp pain in her chest at Emily's use of the past tense of that word.

"That letter…. you leaving…. that nearly destroyed me," Emily said again, this time her voice was laced with more pain than anger.

Alison choked back a quiet sob as she pressed her fingernails deeper into her palms. Why the fuck didn't she leave them longer?

"I didn't want you to hold out any hope for me. I never thought I'd be fixed enough to be good for you. I was trying to be unselfish for once in my life."

"That's your problem," Emily replied as her anger flared gain. "You don't know how to be unselfish."

Alison looked away so Emily wouldn't see the hurt her words had evoked in the blonde. "Then I guess we have nothing else to say to each other. I think you should just leave, Emily."

Emily nodded but didn't reply. She knew what she said was harsh but she just couldn't stop the words once they started pouring out of her. It was just too much. Being so close to Alison after all this time was wreaking havoc with her head and heart and she needed to get out of there. So she turned and walked to the door.

Pepe followed her whimpering softly, exactly like Alison wanted to but refused to let herself do. Emily leaving was for the best.

The brunette opened the door, but before she walked out, she turned around and looked at Alison. The blonde was standing there, again with her arms crossed defensively. Emily could see the pain in her eyes, but her own pain prevented her from doing anything more, except saying the next words that came out of her mouth.

"You wanted me to move on. Well you got your wish, Alison. I did."

Alison watched the door close as her vision blurred. She felt Pepe nudge her, not his usual head butt, but a gentler, tentative nudge just to let her know he was there. She sunk to her knees and took a deep breath as she blinked her eyes. Pepe crawled onto her legs and she wrapped her arms around him.

Emily's words hurt, _they really hurt_, but Alison knew they weren't necessarily untrue.

Thanks to her upbringing and her mother's influence, selfishness was Alison's default. Leaving Emily was her first real unselfish act, but staying away was more selfish than not on her part. Until two years ago. That's when it became an act of self-preservation.

"Oh, Pepe," Alison said as she took a shuddering breath. "What are we gonna do now?"

###################

Emily strode down the walkway and yanked her bike off the ground. She got on and started peddling, heading away from Alison's house as fast as she could. She didn't know where she was going but she wasn't going back to work.

She was so angry at herself. What the fuck was she thinking of following Alison? She risked her job just throwing her chef's hat aside and bolting out of there like a complete lunatic. She was lucky her boss was such a nice guy. When he saw how frantic she was after she blurted out that Alison was a friend, he just handed her the pastry box Alison had left behind and told her to go.

Emily knew she should go back but she couldn't even think about trying to bake right now. French cooking was a very delicate process and she'd surely burn anything she tried to cook. Her next logical option should have been to go home but she just couldn't see Marielle yet. She couldn't deal with the questions her girlfriend would ask about why she wasn't at work.

Marielle knew about Alison. Emily had told her about her first love before they'd gotten together. The brunette had finally decided she'd wasted enough time trying to find the blonde, who clearly didn't want to be found. When she and Marielle met at a cocktail party thrown by her next door neighbor in Paris, Emily told her that she was still getting over someone and wasn't looking to get into a relationship. Marielle took it in stride and suggested just becoming friends.

Emily opened up about her past with Alison and slowly they became closer. Marielle was sweet and understanding and never once told her she was a masochist, for holding out hope, like all her other friends had. Eventually things took a romantic turn and finally two summers ago, Emily decided enough was enough. She was done pining away for a girl who had abandoned her and clearly didn't want her so she and Marielle took the next step and started dating.

Emily pedaled faster heading toward the coast. She turned the corner onto Ocean Avenue and headed north toward the pier. She needed to clear her head before she went home and there was just something about the ocean that calmed her.

She rode down the wooden ramp and chained her bike to one of the bike racks on the deck. She then walked down the stairs leading to the sand. Emily received a few strange looks, which she knew was because she was still in her chef's uniform, but she didn't have it in her to care.

The brunette sat on the bottom step and removed her shoes and socks before stepping onto the sand and walking down to the water. She walked under the pier and a little further south before she found a dry spot just beyond the tide and sat down.

She couldn't believe Alison was here. After all this time, and all her searching, the two of them ended up living in the same city by accident.

Well apparently they both lived in Paris, or at least Alison visited Paris when Emily was living there. Her bike ride had done wonders for helping her calm down but she found herself once again getting angry as she thought about Alison being in Paris and still none of Emily's efforts to find her had done her any good.

And Alison knew Emily had been looking for her and deliberately hid from her. That made Emily even angrier and she grabbed fistfuls of sand in each hand and threw them as she screeched.

Two kids who were playing in the sand nearby looked at her.

"Are you okay lady?" a small red haired boy asked her.

Did he just call her lady?

Emily couldn't help herself, she started to laugh. And laugh. And laugh. And laugh. She wasn't even yet twenty five years old and these little kids were calling her lady. What was next? Ma'am?

The thought made her laugh even harder, especially when she heard the kid say to his friend, "Did I say something funny?"

She flopped onto her back and threw her arm over her face as she continued to laugh, choking softly as peals of laughter continued to pour out of her.

"Come one Matty, let's get out of here. She's freaking me out."

Emily heard the two boys scamper off and soon her choking laughs turned into just choking sounds. The tears the leaked from her eyes and ran slowly down the sides of her face sped up as her laughs morphed into sobs. Emily hadn't cried for Alison since that night on her porch. For a long time she was just too numb. Then instead of crying like she wanted to she put all her effort and energy into trying to find the blonde. Then by the time she gave up the search she was too resigned.

Part of her always feared that something had happened to Alison. Emily could only imagine how the blonde suffered after everything that happened in that church basement. She and Jason had lost both their parents in a matter of months, both at the hands of their psycho sister. That kind of thing had to fuck with your head. And after all Alison had been through prior to that, Emily often wondered if it would have put her over the edge.

When Spencer told her she had never been able to track down Jason either Emily feared that perhaps the worst had happened.

But Alison was alive and beautiful and safe. Emily always wondered what it would feel like to finally see her again. After all this time, of all the emotions she figured she'd feel, _had felt_, it was the heartbreak that had taken her so by surprise.

First it was panic when she saw Alison bolt away; then urgency as she rode her bike around the neighborhood looking for the car Alison drove away in; then relief when she found it only a few blocks away.

Anticipation was next as she waited on Alison's front stoop after knocking; then happiness at seeing her when the blonde opened the door, which quickly morphed into desire as she took in the stunning woman before her.

Then it was anger and hurt that came swiftly as Alison admitted she knew Emily was looking for her and deliberately hid; and finally heartbreak as she realized that her pain and suffering meant nothing to the girl she had loved since she was fourteen.

No one could experience those myriad of emotions in that short amount of time and not be exhausted from it.

Emily remained in her supine position until the tide got close enough that she had to move. She needed to get it together before she went home. Guilt had already begun seeping in. Guilt that she'd felt so many emotions in reaction to seeing Alison again. Marielle deserved better than that from Emily and the brunette didn't know how she was going to tell her girlfriend about it.

Deciding she wasn't quite ready to deal with it yet, she, instead, pushed herself up, dusted the sand off her uniform and slowly walked back to the pier. She put on her shoes again and walked down to the very end and into Mariasol, grateful that she'd both tucked some cash into the pocket of her uniform earlier _and_ that she knew the bartender, because she hadn't brought her ID with her. She and Marielle had visited the restaurant several times in the last couple of months so fortunately he recognized her.

"Hey Brayden," she greeted as she sat down.

"Hey, girl," he smiled as he put a cocktail napkin on the bar in front of her.

"Can I have grande margarita? I mean as _grande_ as you make it."

"On the rocks as usual?" he asked as he set a bowl with tortilla chips and salsa on the bar beside her.

"Yes, with salt too," she added as she grabbed one of the chips from the bowl. She grabbed another and then another as she realized how hungry she was.

He looked around as he mixed the drink. "You alone tonight?"

Emily nodded but didn't reply because her mouth was full of chips and salsa.

"Interesting choice of outfit," Brayden commented casually as he set the margarita in front of Emily.

She took a sip and sighed as the cool liquid slipped down her throat.

"It's a brave choice but actually a good look for you," Brayden added with a smirk after she put the glass on the bar.

Emily snorted softly. "It's my work uniform. I left in a hurry and didn't have time to change."

"Where the heck do you work that they make you wear that," he teased.

"Chez Pierre," she said in her now perfect French accent.

"Ohh, my girlfriend loves that place. The food is a little too foofy for me though."

Emily laughed before taking another sip of her drink. "All French food is foofy."

"The only things I like on that menu are the desserts."

Emily smiled. "That's what I do. I'm the _pâtissier." _ Brayden just looked at her so she added, "I'm the pastry chef."

"So that's why they make you dress like that," he teased again and she shot him a look. "The only thing they care about in the kitchen here is if Miguel wears shoes."

"Ewww," Emily said as she tossed the chip in her hand back into the bowl. "I think I'll stick to just the drinks here from now on. Wait, do you have shoes on?" she asked as she stretched to look over the bar.

Brayden laughed as he made a few more drinks that had come through the printer behind him.

"You want another?" He motioned to her now empty glass.

"Yes," Emily said as she reached for another chip. She was too hungry to care if the cook wore shoes or not. "Keep them coming until I say stop."

####################

Alison vigorously scrubbed the already clean quartz counter top for the third time. Whenever she was angry or stressed or anxious she power cleaned. The counter was sparkling but she just kept scrubbing because if she didn't she was afraid she would lose it. Pepe, sensing her anxiety, hovered by her feet and followed her as she slowly made her way around the medium sized kitchen.

She'd kicked Jason out earlier, when Emily showed up unannounced, and he'd been calling her cell phone every fifteen minutes since then. She picked up the fifth time he called and told him she was fine and to stop fucking calling her. She knew he was just worried and while she appreciated it, she wanted to wring his neck.

Alison turned around and started scrubbing the counter next to the sink and Pepe bumped into her leg again and then yelped when she stepped on his paw. She crouched down and rubbed his paw apologetically.

"Pepe, baby, you've got to give me some room or I'm gonna keep stepping on you."

He head butted her shoulder and she wrapped her arms around him, frustrated that her hands were still shaking, even though Emily had left almost an hour ago.

"God, Alison, fucking pull yourself together," she scolded herself out loud just as she heard the front door open and she surged to her feet and growled. "Jason, I swear to god, I told you I'm fine."

"Calm down, bitch, it's not Jason," she heard from behind her and she whipped around to see the blonde standing in her doorway. A combination of aggravation and gratitude filled her.

"I hate it when you show up unannounced," Alison said blandly rather than acknowledge her real feelings.

"If I'd called you would have just told me not to come." Cece smirked as she tossed her purse on the counter and walked to the refrigerator.

Alison sighed as she sagged against the counter and crossed her arms. "Did Jason send you?"

Cece pulled a bottle of white wine out of the door and turned around. "What do you think?"

"He's such a fucking busy body."

"Grab some glasses and let's go out to the patio. I need a drink to even hear this story so I imagine you need one to tell it."

"I don't want a drink, Cece, and I don't want to talk about this either."

"I don't give a fuck because you're going to. Just grab the fucking glasses."

Alison scowled but took two wine glasses out of the cupboard and followed her friend through the dining area and out the sliding glass doors to the patio. Pepe followed and plopped himself at Alison's feet as she sat at the table.

Cece poured wine in each of the glasses and then placed the bottle on the table. Despite her insistence a minute ago that she didn't want a drink; Alison picked up the glass and took a big gulp of the wine.

"Your hand is shaking," Cece pointed out as she took a drink from her own glass.

"I just came face to face with Emily, what do you expect?" Alison replied as she took another smaller gulp.

"I think it's been over six fucking years." Alison choked on the sip of wine she was taking. And it's not like you haven't seen her in all that time."

"Damn, Cec, thanks for the sympathy," Alison replied as she wiped her mouth with the back of her hand.

"Bitch, I'm not Jason. I stopped coddling you a couple years ago. You need to get the fuck over it now."

Alison shook her head. Leave it to Cece to voice what she was just berating herself for. And her friend was right. Jason still coddled her; still worried she was as fragile as she'd been right after they left Rosewood all those years ago. But she had come a long way and hadn't done anything destructive in a long time now. But she supposed that her history spoke volumes and she couldn't really blame her brother. All they had left now were each other.

"I was the fuck over it," Alison replied but Cece just gave her a skeptical look over her wine glass. "Don't look at me like that. I was…." After a beat Alison finished. "Getting there."

"Uh huh," Cece murmured sarcastically. "Did you know she was living here now?"

Alison shook her head. "No. I stopped keeping track of her two years ago, you know that."

Cece swirled her wine in her glass. "I wasn't sure if you were lying when you said that."

Alison scowled. "Why would I lie about it?"

"Because I kept giving you shit about watching her but never having the balls to just approach her, metaphorically speaking that is."

"I've worked really hard to stop lying, Cece." Cece shot Alison another skeptical look and it was starting to annoy her but she conceded. "At least about the important stuff."

Cece put her feet up on the chair beside her. "Did she know you were here in LA?"

Alison shook her head again as she poured more wine in her glass. It was going down way too smooth tonight. "No. She was as shocked to see me as I was her."

Both women were quiet for a few minutes while they sipped their wine and Alison stoked Pepe's ears.

"So what was it like being in same room with her again?" Cece asked with a cautious tone and Alison appreciated it.

Despite how hard Cece was on her at times, and she appreciated that Cece didn't treat her like she was made of glass, her blonde friend still knew better than anyone, except Jason, how much leaving Emily behind had devastated Alison. In her already completely shattered physical and mental state after the final showdown with Courtney, losing Emily too had almost destroyed her.

Alison took a shuddering breath and she blinked back tears that threatened despite her best efforts to hold them back. "Like I was being electrocuted all over again."

Pepe, again sensing Alison's distress, nudged her fingers with his nose. Alison could see the sympathy in Cece's eyes and she growled. "Don't fucking pity me."

Unfazed by Alison's outburst, Cece just leaned back in her chair. "Tell me what happened."

Alison shook her head again, this time more forcefully. "Cece, I can't right now."

Cece shrugged as she held out her glass and clinked it against the side of Alison's. "Okay. Let's just get wasted instead."

"That's probably a really bad idea," Alison murmured although she reached for the bottle and again poured more wine in her glass.

"Of course it is," Cece smirked. "But when has that ever stopped us?"

Alison took another shuddering breath before she said softly, almost too softly for Cece to hear her. "I'm still so fucking in love with her, Cece."

"I know," her friend replied and that was as that needed to be said. Cece tilted her head as she watched Alison's still shaking hand patting Pepe's head as the dog licked her fingers."You need to put that dog on a diet. He's a big fatty."

Alison choked on her wine coughing at it went up her nose. When she recovered she scowled at her friend.

"Fuck you, bitch, he's not fat. He's just fluffy."

###############

Emily tiptoed into the apartment, quietly closing the door behind her. It was just before eleven and she was sure Marielle was probably asleep, hoped she was actually. She felt terrible about it but she didn't want to face her girlfriend tonight. She stayed at Mariasol longer than she originally intended.

Wednesday nights were typically slow at the bar so Brayden wasn't all that busy. After a couple of margaritas, Emily's tongue loosened enough that she opened up about her encounter with Ali. What was it about bartenders that made people run off at the mouth?

Once she got started, though, she couldn't stop and by the time the whole story was out, Emily once again realized what a colossal mistake chasing after Alison had been.

Emily knew she had to tell Marielle about it but she didn't think she had the courage or energy to do it tonight. So she deliberately stayed at Mariasol as long as she could and still make it back to the restaurant before they closed to change into her regular clothes.

After her forth margarita Brayden had shut her off, and she started drinking water. By the time she left the restaurant, she was able to ride her bike home with no problem. She was later than normal, she usually got home around ten, but Marielle wouldn't find it odd that she was running a little late. If the restaurant had late patrons who wanted a dessert that was made upon demand, it would take Emily a little longer to get her work station cleaned and to rights before she could leave. Emily could only hope that Marielle had fallen asleep already and it would give Emily time to figure out what to say.

Marielle left the light over the stove on and it made Emily smile. Her girlfriend was always so considerate. Something Emily most definitely hadn't been earlier when her eyes were raking desirously over her first love.

Emily walked down the hallway and saw the light in the bedroom was on. There was still a chance that Marielle was asleep but those odds were shot when Emily entered the bedroom and found her girlfriend waiting up for her.

Marielle was draped over the duvet, naked, as she promised Emily she would be. She was reading a book and looked up as Emily stepped into the room. Her lips curved into a sultry smile.

"Welcome home, mon amour."

Emily forced herself to return the smile. "I'm sorry I'm late, Mari."

"The restaurant was busy, yes?" her girlfriend asked.

At that moment, Emily had two choices. She could sit down on the bed and tell Marielle the truth of what happened and that she hadn't been at work. Or she could lie, something she had never done to Marielle. Before she could even stop herself, the words slipped passed her lips.

"All the way to close."

Once the words were out, there was no turning back and Emily felt the remorse rush through her.

Marielle looked at her and Emily felt like she was being scrutinized. She knew there was no way that Marielle could know she was lying, but Emily felt like it was written all over her face.

Marielle placed her book and glasses on the nightstand and held her hand out to Emily. "You look exhausted, chéri. Come to bed."

Emily shook her head. "I'm really grimy tonight. Let me take a quick shower."

That wasn't a lie. She did feel dusty from the sand at the beach and sweaty from her bike ride home. But that wasn't the only reason.

Marielle smiled softly at her. "I'll be waiting."

Emily grabbed some pajamas out of her drawer.

"You won't need those tonight," Marielle called after her as she stepped into the bathroom.

Normally when her girlfriend said something like that, Emily's body would tingle. But tonight there was nothing. Whether it was exhaustion or guilt from both chasing after Alison and then concealing it from Marielle, Emily wasn't sure. But she wondered if this feeling was the equivalent of a guy not being able to get it up.

Emily showered slowly. Then rather than pinning her hair up like she often did, she blow dried it, trying to delay the inevitable before she brushed her teeth so Marielle wouldn't know she'd been drinking. What was normally a ten minute nightly ritual turned into almost thirty minutes and everything she did to cover up what she'd really been doing made Emily feel even worse. So she decided enough was enough. She didn't have to hide. She hadn't done anything wrong by going after Alison and she was going to tell Marielle the truth.

And when she was done, if Marielle hadn't kicked her out of the bedroom, she was going to make her girlfriend come so hard she passed out.

Emily walked into the bedroom, intent on admitting she hadn't been completely honest but she found Marielle under the covers now, on her back with her eyes closed, and already passed out. Her girlfriend was making that soft little noise in the back of her throat, the way she always did if she slept on her back.

Emily was simultaneously disappointed and relieved. She shut off the light and climbed into bed next to Marielle. She slid down and rolled onto her side facing her girlfriend. She slid her arm over Marielle's waist and felt the brunette stir.

"Mmmm," Marielle murmured as she rolled onto her side to face Emily. "I thought you were going to sleep in there."

Emily smiled softly at Marielle's sleepy tone. Her accent was so much stronger when she was tired and sometimes even Emily couldn't understand her.

"Je suis désolée," Emily whispered as Marielle snuggled closer to her.

"You can make it up to me now," Marielle whispered as her lips sought Emily's in the dark.

Emily pushed everything else out of her mind as she slowly responded to her girlfriend's kisses. As her hands roamed over naked flesh, Emily decided that telling Marielle about Alison could wait until tomorrow.

###############

Alison groaned as she rolled over and the sunlight hit her face. She heard a grunt beside her as her elbow connected with something solid yet soft.

"Ow, that was my fucking boob."

Alison rolled again and buried her face in the pillow beneath her. "Don't yell," she whispered hoarsely.

The taste in her mouth was foul and she wondered what had crawled in it and died overnight. Her head pounded and throbbed and her eyes were swollen and achy and crusted over.

Pepe barked from close by and Alison couldn't stop the whimper from escaping her lips.

"Shut your dog the hell up," Cece growled from beside her and Alison realized the poor dog must have to pee something fierce. She usually took him for a walk around six in the morning and based on how bright it was in her bedroom it was clearly much later than that.

"Pepe, I'm coming," she murmured softly. Even just the act of whispering hurt.

Pepe's whimpering turn to low growling as Alison heard him pacing around the bed.

"If your dog bites me in the ass again, I'm going to bite him back this time," Cece warned as she buried her face in the pillow.

Alison rolled onto her back and her eyes fluttered as she struggled to look around her brightly lit bedroom. She pushed into a sitting position.

"He only did that because you were on his side of the bed. I'm on his side today so you're probably safe."

Alison looked over and saw Pepe sitting beside the bed eyeing Cece. "Pepe, come here, baby," she called softly because speaking any louder hurt. The dog growled one more time before he followed instructions.

It was at that moment Alison looked down and realized she was naked.

"Oh, god," she groaned as she looked over at Cece beside her again. The blonde was in only her panties and bra. "Please don't tell me we had sex again."

"Hell no," Cece groaned right back. "And do you have to be so fucking loud?"

Cece rolled onto her side facing Alison now that Pepe had walked to her side of the bed.

"Thank god," Alison sighed with relief as she flopped onto her back.

"You wanted to but I stopped it."

"Thank you," Alison turned on her side and looked at her friend. "But why am I naked?"

"You got pretty aggressive for a while and I couldn't get you to keep your clothes on."

"Why am I such a freak?" Alison groaned under her breath as Cece continued.

"But I eventually distracted you and then you started crying and well..." Cece's voice trailed off because they both knew where she was going.

For a long time whenever Alison overindulged in alcohol she'd become hysterical, for a while she even got violent, but mostly she'd cry. So eventually she and Cece mutually swore off drinking in order to avoid the clusterfucks that happened when Alison indulged a little too much. Finally after a few years of pretty intense therapy, it would only happen after she'd seen Emily.

"This is why you and I shouldn't get drunk together," Alison bemoaned.

Cece scoffed quietly. "This has nothing to do with us getting drunk together. It wasn't me you wanted last night, hun. There's only one girl you ever want."

Alison closed her aching eyes for a minute before opening them again. She didn't need to look in the mirror to know her eyes were haunted. Cece was right. She only ever wanted Emily and no one she'd been with, male or female, had ever been able to change that.

"Besides, Jason was willing to overlook that we'd hooked up a couple of times before we started dating again. I doubt he'd be so generous now."

Alison snorted despite how much it hurt her head to do so. Cece and Jason had been dating again for over a year now and had just recently moved in together. It made Alison's heart happy that her brother and her best friend were together so she was glad she hadn't fucked up with her oftentimes self-destructive behavior.

Pepe barked again from beside the bed and Alison sighed. "I'm surprised I didn't puke."

"Oh, you did," Cece chuckled darkly. "You're gonna have fun cleaning the downstairs bathroom."

"Awesome," Alison replied sarcastically and then heaved herself out of the bed as she felt a little vomit creep up into her throat at the thought of having to clean up downstairs.

"Come on Pepe."

Alison stumbled a little as her head spun. She needed some water and about five Advil.

She found her panties on the chair, then grabbed her jeans from the floor and tugged them up her legs before stumbling again to her bureau to grab a t-shirt. She slipped it on, foregoing a bra because she couldn't deal with the clasp, before walking into the bathroom to wash her face and brush her teeth.

"You didn't tell me I looked like Elvira," she groaned as she looked in the mirror and Cece snickered from inside the bedroom.

Tired of being ignored, Pepe barked again.

Alison brushed her hair and pulled it up into a ponytail before she swallowed back a small handful of pills. Feeling more human, she walked back into the bedroom. She slapped Cece's foot as she walked by the bed.

"Get your ass up and make us something to eat. Pepe and I will be back in half an hour."

"How can you eat?" Cece groaned as she pulled the covers up over her head.

"I puked up everything I ate yesterday, that's why," Alison said as she slipped on a pair of sandals.

"I'm not cooking. Fuck that," Cece replied from under the sheet.

"Fine, we'll go out to breakfast then." Pepe barked his impatience again from the doorway. "Get your ass moving and be ready when we get back," Alison added as she followed Pepe out of the room and down the stairs.

##############

Emily worked carefully and slowly as she prepared the decadent Cocoa Crème Fraiche Cupcakes. It was one of her favorite recipes and it was a hit as the latest addition to the dessert menu

As she beat the butter and sugar in a bowl until it was fluffy, her mind wandered to the events of the last two days.

It still seemed so surreal that Alison was here in LA. The girl she'd loved, the girl she'd searched for and wanted to find for so long was only blocks away. Finally within her reach.

It was a dream come true.

And simultaneously a nightmare. Because it happened just as Emily had finally moved on with her life.

Emily added eggs to the butter and sugar one at a time as she once again pondered what to do.

She still hadn't told Marielle about seeing Alison. The next morning Marielle had to leave for work early and was already gone by the time Emily returned from her morning run. When Emily returned home from the restaurant late that night, Marielle was in a mood, having had a particularly frustrating day at work. So the brunette decided it was not the best time to mention it.

This morning she and Marielle had breakfast together once she'd returned from her run but Marielle had awakened in such a better mood, Emily didn't want to take the chance of ruining it.

In all honesty she was being a coward. Marielle had never been anything but understanding and supportive of Emily's journey to let Alison go. She'd never once shown any kind of jealousy or resentment toward the girl who Emily still carried in her heart and always would. She deserved Emily's honesty and as the brunette slowly added the dry ingredients to the mixing bowl, she made up her mind that she was going to tell Marielle tonight, no matter what.

She hadn't done anything wrong. And if she kept telling herself that, maybe she would start to believe it.

##############

Alison sat in the all too familiar waiting room, shaking her leg anxiously as she waited to see Megan. She'd picked up the nervous habit over the years but only did it when she was anxious and agitated.

Evie, the older woman sitting behind the desk on the other side of the room looked over at her. "Are you sure you don't want a glass of water, Alison?"

"No, thanks," she replied as she scrolled through the calendar on her phone. She had two meetings that afternoon, one at _Vogue_ about her shoot next week and the other with the _Food &amp; Wine_ editor to show him the photos from the _Chez Peirre_ shoot.

A shoot that Alison had now dubbed as one that would live in infamy.

"You're not usually here on Fridays," Evie questioned casually.

"Yeah, well, most Fridays I don't feel like I'm losing it," Alison replied just as casually.

Evie was a nice woman who had been Megan's receptionist for the entire almost three years that Alison had been seeing her. Alison liked her and she liked very few people.

Although the blonde was sure Megan kept their doctor-patient confidentiality intact, she had no doubt Evie knew how crazy she was. The woman had to have overheard her many times because, especially at the beginning, Alison wasn't always calm and collected during her appointments.

The phone on Evie's desk rang and she picked up the handset. "You can go in now," she said to Alison when she hung up.

Alison walked into the office, closing the door behind her. She walked briskly over to the sofa in front of the window and sat down. She toed off her shoes, lifted her legs and tucked her feet beneath her as she pulled one of the throw pillows onto her lap.

She looked expectantly at the woman in the chair across from her.

"You sounded tense on the phone earlier," Megan commented as she looked up from the notepad she was writing on.

"You could say that," Alison scoffed as she ran her fingers along the seam of the pillow.

"It's been a long time since you sought me out on a non-appointment day," Megan stated rather than asked Alison why she was here.

"And your point is?" Alison retorted as she tugged on the pillow fringe.

"You only seek me out like this when it involves Emily."

Alison scowled at how well Megan knew her. Megan looked at her as she waited patiently for Alison to respond.

"She's here."

"In LA?" Megan leaned forward slightly.

Alison nodded as her heart began to race in her chest. "She lives here now. She lives in fucking Santa Monica," Alison replied as she practiced the breathing techniques Megan had taught her. She refused to hyperventilate again.

Megan's brow furrowed and sat back again, getting comfortable. "Why don't you start at the beginning?"

############

It took Alison all of fifteen minutes to tell Megan the story of the last 48 hours. As each minute passed, more of her anxiety vanished. Even though Cece had asked several times, Alison hadn't told her friend what had happened when Emily showed up on her doorstep or what she and Emily had said to each other.

But saying it out loud made it seem less overwhelming and dramatic. This was why she needed Megan. She needed someone on the outside to listen to her. To let her release all the anxiety and emotions without the person panicking she was going fall apart.

Most of Alison's issues had absolutely nothing to do with Emily. Alison's baggage was way more complicated than just one girl. But the brunette was certainly always a trigger for her. That's why Alison finally had to let her go. There was no way Alison was going to move on with her life if she didn't let go of the hope that she and Emily would one day be together. Too much time had passed and knowing Emily had moved on with her life was what finally gave Alison the ability to let her go, as hard and as painful as it was.

When Alison stopped talking she looked at Megan again.

"That was your opportunity to finally say everything to her you've wanted to. Why didn't you?" Megan asked without any judgment or accusation.

"It wasn't the right time."

"Why not?

"Because she was angry at me. _Still._ Not that I expected anything less," Alison admitted.

"So instead you acted defensively and pushed her away again?"

Alison glared at the woman across from her. Megan never pulled any punches and Alison appreciated it. Not many people did that to her. Only Cece dared and sometimes Jason when he had Cece for backup.

"What was I supposed to do?" Alison scowled.

"Tell her the truth," Megan suggested.

Alison shook her head harshly. "She doesn't need me coming back into her life now. It's better if I just stay away."

Megan moved the notepad on her lap to the table next to her. "Alison, your path to forgiveness and healing is far from over. You've come a long way but you know what you have to do."

"I don't have to do anything I don't want to," Alison replied petulantly even though she knew she sounded like a brat.

"You were ready two years ago."

"You know why I didn't," Alison accused.

"Yes," Megan agreed. "But I don't necessarily agree with your decision."

"You don't have to. This is my fucking life and I decide what I do," Alison's voice rose with each word.

Megan was as calm as ever and it made Alison want to scream louder. "You'll never truly be free of your past if you don't own up to it and ask for forgiveness from those you need it and give it to those you owe it."

Alison ignored what Megan as she often did when she wasn't ready to agree. "I wanted to pounce on her," Alison admitted instead. "And by the way she eyed me I think she did to."

Megan's brow arched. "That probably wouldn't have been the best idea."

"Ya think?" Alison replied sarcastically before sighing and then continuing softly and sincerely. "It hurt so much being back in the same room with her. It was hard to breathe even just being that close to her. I thought I was doing so well. Why does it still hurt so much?"

"Because your feelings for her are still connected to what happened, the horrific experience you all went through. You've never been given the opportunity to separate them."

"But it's been six years, Megan," Alison reiterated again, frustrated by how much just seeing Emily had opened and gutted those old wounds.

"There's no time limit on getting over something like that Alison. Putting one on it is unrealistic and unfair to you.

Alison sighed and sat forward feeling her anxiety and agitation returning.

"While I won't try to diminish what your friends went through at Courtney's hands, Alison, you suffered more than they did, both physically and emotionally. "

Alison reached up and instinctively rubbed the scar on her left breast as Megan continued. "You lost far more and you live with that loss every day."

Alison cracked her neck and shifted uncomfortably. The topic of her parents still always made her want to crawl out of her skin.

"Losing your mother without ever getting answers from her about what happened that night and then losing your father so violently soon after, that's something you have no choice but to accept and learn to live with. And I know out of all your friends Emily was the one you had the most left unresolved with."

Alison scoffed at Megan's diplomatic way of expressing how fucked up everything with Emily had gotten right at the end.

"But carrying hurt and resentment and anger only hurts you, Alison. You'll never get past that if you continue to push Emily away. You'd resigned yourself to never seeing her again and that helped you to move on but now she's here. The universe, for whatever reason, has given you a chance to be honest with her. For better or for worse. You can't have it both ways. You owe her the truth about Courtney as much as you owed it to yourself."

At her limit with Megan's speech Alison stood up angrily. "What the fuck do you expect me to do?"

"Maybe the two of you can become friends again. Why don't you start with that?"

"I don't want to fucking be her friend," Alison growled as she clenched her fists at her side. The small cuts her nails had made in her palms the other day when Emily was there still weren't healed and Alison welcomed the pain as she pressed her nails into them again. "I can't just be her friend. I'd rather be nothing."

Megan sighed softly. "Well that's your choice. But look at yourself, Alison." Megan gestured to the mirror on the wall to her left. "Look at how intense these emotions still are for you."

Alison looked at herself in the mirror and she was shocked at what she saw. Her blue eyes were flashing, her face was flushed, her body was rigid and she radiated anger and hurt like it was oozing out of her very pores. She had thought she let go of all this but evidently she hadn't. Clearly she still had more fucking work to do and it pissed her off. She was so tired and just wanted to live her life and be normal.

She deflated and looked back at Megan. "I wasn't expecting that."

"I was," Megan said easily. "I knew if Emily, or even any of those other girls, ever came back into your life this would resurface and we'd have to deal with it. You're still bottling up a lot even though you don't think you are."

Alison looked back in the mirror. She looked a little less scary and she was grateful for that. "I don't understand why. I didn't have this kind of reaction about Cece and Jason. They were there and part of all of that too."

"You did," Megan replied and Alison gave her a confused look. "You authorized your previous therapists to give me your records when you became my patient, remember? What's happening to you right now happened before. Everything was just so raw at that time because it wasn't long after what happened. But this is expected and part of the process of your healing."

"Great," Alison muttered.

"You have to stop thinking you're crazy for the way you feel and how you react. You are who you are, Alison. And you can't expect anyone else to accept and love you if you can't accept and love yourself.

"I hate it when you lecture me," Alison sighed.

"I know. Get over it. And sit down, we're not done."

Alison chuckled as she sat down. Although she sometimes hated how Megan forced her to face things, she loved the woman fiercely for doing it.

"I don't want to talk about Emily any more. I'm tired."

"Okay," Megan said as Alison settled back on the sofa. "We can let it ruminate for a moment. So why don't you tell me, how's everything else?"

"Fine," Alison replied.

"Work is good?"

"Fine," Alison replied again.

"How's everything in Venice?"

"Fine."

Megan narrowed her eyes. "And with Nicole?"

"Fine," Alison replied yet again.

"Are you going to answer _fine_ to everything I ask you now?"

"What do you want me to say?" Alison smirked.

Now that her blow up had happened, even though nothing was really solved, Alison was feeling infinitely better. That always seemed to happen. She'd let everything she'd been bottling up out in a big explosion and then it would be over. It drove Cece and Jason mad sometimes but like Megan said, she was who she was.

"I want you to answer honestly," Megan encouraged. "I know you and Nicole weren't seeing eye-to-eye on a few things."

"We're working on it. It's not always easy though. _I'm_ not always easy," Alison admitted reluctantly.

Megan sighed again and Alison knew she was resigned to not getting anything else out of the blonde for today. "Our time is almost up, Alison. Is there anything else you want to talk about? Remember, I'm out of town for the next two weeks so if you have anything you want to discuss before I go, this is the your chance."

"I'm all talked out right now."

Megan narrowed her eyes again, not willing to let Alison off the hook. "So what are you going to do about Emily?"

Alison opened her mouth and then closed it again just as quickly before she twisted on the sofa and looked out the window.

"I have no freaking idea," the blonde replied quietly and, as she so often tried to be these days, truthfully.

* * *

**_French Translation _**

"Je suis désolé" – I'm sorry

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**Additional Author's Note… read at your own risk… :D**

First, thanks for all the honest opinions and suggestions. I appreciate so much when you take a moment to send a review, both positive and negative. Feedback is thought provoking and makes me a better writer, I hope.

As I stated previously, this story is already written, there is just some finessing and flushing out of the last of the story. For those of you who are hoping this will be a slow burn Emison story, I hate to disappoint you. While I enjoy reading those kinds of stories, that isn't how I write.

I love writing Alison and Emily together because they are just sooooo good together. I'm sure I'll probably get there too fast for some and not fast enough for other but I have to remain true to my story and go where the characters guide me. This story will not be like _Mermaid_, there is much more drama here, but there will be fluff and fun and sexy times… not immediately but we'll get there. I don't think that Ali and Em have to be apart for there to be drama. Ali is still very broken and things don't just become all kittens and rainbows when people get together. Life and love are full of little moments, both good and bad.

Second, one guest reader said that Alison's sexual escapades made him/her uncomfortable. While I thought it was implied, Jack's comment about her sleeping with dogs was a joke. Although not really because Pepe does sleep with her most of the time, just not that way….. ;)

However, let me say, in my personal opinion, Alison has never been, is not and never will be gay. She's bisexual. It's obvious from the show that she was attracted to boys and even girls in a subtle roundabout way. And there is nothing wrong with that. Although I know some people feel she should be, I personally don't feel she needs to be strictly gay in order to love Emily.

Again, although Alison in this story is still very broken from the events of the past, she's strong and brave and sure of herself, at least sexually. These girls are now young women, not teenagers. That's why the story is set as far into the future as it is. They all needed to grow and mature. And Alison is not a skank despite the fact that she's had multiple sexual partners in the last six years. She's comfortable with herself and she enjoys sex. And that's okay.

And FYI… Emily was far from celibate but that part of her life isn't part of this story. Oh, also…. Jack suspects that Alison had a threesome with two of her previous assistants. Whether she did or didn't is Alison's secret and will remain so…. ;) Again… not part of this story.

Third, I've had a very mixed reaction to the tank top and picture on the nightstand. Some think it's sweet and sad and others think it's a bit stalkerish a la "The Roommate" and that Ali is a little bit crazy. The best part…. is they are both a little bit true. And it's addressed later in the story in a way that I hope you all find satisfactory.

Fourth, I also had many readers comment about Emily being a pastry chef. I started this story and decided to make Emily a patissier in December, before 5B started airing and the show showed Emily being absolutely helpless in the kitchen. Please remember this story is completely AU from before the Christmas episode... it is based on _my version_ of what happened at Christmas. There was no Talia... and none of 5B is part of the background of this story.

Finally….. this story is a multi-chapter story, close in length to Mermaid overall, about 10 chapters when all is said and done. And my plan is to have it completely posted by the time season 6 starts.

* * *

**That's all…. Thanks again, as always, for reading and reviewing. :)**


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: I sure do wish I owned these characters because I would do things differently than the show… but alas I don't.**

**Hi everyone…. Again this is done a little early so I'm posting earlier than planned because Sunday night I will have guests here.**

**I always like to say a personal thank you to anyone who reviews. Unfortunately I can't reply to guest reviewers. So let me take a moment to say a blanket thank you to everyone for reading and taking the time to review and/or say a few words. It means so much.**

**Also, a very special thanks to Sophie for her assistance with the French translations.**

**I have a little surprise for you all at the end of the chapter…. see you down there.**

**Things are about to get interesting… :-)**

**Enjoy!**

* * *

**Chapter 3**

Emily whisked the raspberry sauce over medium heat, preparing the filling for her Dark Chocolate Raspberry Truffle Cake. It was her own version of a dessert she had once in Paris and she wanted to perfect it before she presented it to Pierre.

This was the fourth cake she'd baked this week and she was confident it was finally right this time. All the previous versions had resulted in either the filling making the cake too soggy or the frosting too thick and fudgy.

Fudge was not French so she finally went with a ganache. She coated inside each layer and between each tier, using it as a barrier to keep the raspberry filling from soaking into the cake. Finally a thick coating of ganache would cover the outside of the cake which would then be topped off with whipped cream rosettes and fresh raspberries.

Although, personally, Emily only enjoyed chocolate every once in a while this dark chocolate raspberry truffle cake was to die for. Chocolate was very prevalent in French desserts, and as luck would have it, it seemed to be Emily's specialty. She hadn't meant for it to happen. Sure she liked chocolate well enough, but she wasn't much of a sweet eater in general, and could take it or leave it like most other desserts. Unlike Alison who had once dubbed herself a chocoholic.

If she was honest with herself, Emily would admit she'd originally specialized in chocolate because Alison loved it. But even after she'd resigned herself to the fact that she would probably never see the blonde again, Emily found she loved cooking with it. And she was very good at it. She'd even attended _ecole chocolat's _Master Chocolatier Program in Paris and learned how to not only use it in recipes but to make it from scratch.

It had been a little over a month since she'd seen Alison and Emily had yet to tell Marielle about it. At first, she just didn't know how to bring it up in a casual manner, not wanting to make it a big deal. Those first few days the universe seemed to be working against her. Each time she intended to tell Marielle, something came up for one of them that made the timing not ideal. Not that it ever would be. Although Marielle had always been accepting of Emily's past with Alison, her girlfriend didn't need the blonde resurfacing in Emily's life thrown in her face.

As the days past it got easier and easier not to bring it up; to make excuses why it wasn't the right time. Emily tried to convince herself she wasn't lying to her girlfriend; she was just omitting information that was irrelevant to their relationship. Surely Marielle didn't tell Emily every person she came in contact with everyday at work. That's all this was. She ran into Alison completely by chance and "forgetting" to tell Marielle about it wasn't the worst thing in the world.

Emily gave a few final turns of the whisk before removing the saucepan from the burner. Her phone rang just as she did. She slid her finger across the screen before hitting the speaker button.

"Hey Han," she greeted, cringing slightly because she was sure she was in for a scolding.

"Why haven't you called me back?" Hanna greeted exactly as the brunette expected.

Emily whisked lemon juice into the sauce before folding in a cup of fresh raspberries. "Nice to talk to you too," Emily replied sarcastically wishing she'd let the call go to voicemail once again.

Emily set the sauce aside to cool and put another saucepan on the stove before she grabbed the glass bowl with the chopped semisweet chocolate she made early this morning.

"If it was nice to talk to me you would have called me back," Hanna retorted quickly.

Emily knew she wasn't going to be let off the hook this time as she poured a cup of cream into the saucepan. "Hanna, I've been crazy busy lately."

"I heard from you more often when you lived in Paris," Hanna pouted through the phone trying to make Emily feel guilty.

"You do remember that in the last three months I moved halfway around the world and started a new job, right?"

Emily lit the burner under the saucepan and stirred the cream slowly as she brought it to a simmer.

"And your point is?" Hanna replied quickly but Emily could hear that the blonde was calming a little.

"My point is I'm still trying to get settled and I barely have time to even see Mari. Our schedules are so different, we're lucky if we get a few minutes in the morning and a few minutes right before bed to spend together," Emily sighed softly because as she said it out loud, the brunette realized again why finding the time to tell Marielle about Alison was always so difficult. "My days off change every week but I always work both days on the weekend so we don't have one completely shared day off unless my day off falls on a Wednesday."

Once the cream was heated through Emily shut off the burner and poured the cream over the chocolate.

"Well, when you put it that way, I guess I can forgive you," the blonde conceded and Emily smiled at the pout in her tone. "I just fucking miss you and I'm still kinda mad you didn't get a job in New York."

"Hanna, we've already talked about this," Emily replied with a sigh as she whisked the melting chocolate pieces and the cream together.

"I know, but that doesn't mean it still doesn't completely suck."

"Why don't you move out here?" Emily suggested. "You don't have to be in New York to be in fashion."

"Bite your tongue miss _pâtissier_. I will never leave New York."

Emily knew Hanna's teasing of her position was in good fun, but it was starting to annoy her. Or maybe Emily was just annoyed in general these days.

"Then I guess we're at an impasse, aren't we?" Emily said as she added tablespoons of butter one at a time to the chocolate mixture.

"Humph," Hanna replied in her ear before saying. "So whatcha doin'?"

Emily chuckled at Hanna's ability to change gears so quickly. "I'm cooking."

"Whatcha making?"

"Dark chocolate raspberry truffle cake." Emily continued to whisk the chocolate until it was velvety smooth.

Hanna groaned. "Why didn't you ever cook that kind of stuff when we lived in Rosewood?"

"I didn't know how to cook like this then." Emily set the ganache aside to cool slightly. It needed to still be warm to pour smoothly throughout the cake but she needed it a little cooler than it was at the moment.

"You mother is Pam Fields, of course you did," Hanna insisted. "I know I had food issues back then thanks to _she who shall not be named_, but now that I can eat all that stuff without guilt we live nowhere near each other."

Emily stiffened when Hanna referred to Alison and she wondered for a brief second if Hanna knew she'd seen Alison.

But that was impossible.

"I really need to come out there and visit you," Hanna added with an exaggerated pout. "Or you need to just mail me some treats once in a while."

"You know you're welcome any time," Emily said as she walked over to the breakfast bar where the cake layers were cooling on wire racks.

"Maybe if I do, I'll find out why you're avoiding me?"

"I'm not." Emily slowly leveled each layer of cake to make two halves.

"Liar, liar, pants on fire," Hanna accused.

"Really Hanna?" Emily laughed in response. "How old are you anyway?"

"Emily Fields I know you better than anyone. I know when you're lying to me."

Emily made every effort to keep her voice steady as she replied. "I don't know what you're talking about."

"I really wish I knew your girl better; then I wouldn't feel bad going to her and asking what the hell is up with you."

Emily cut a quarter inch well out of each bottom layer and one top layer of the cake halves. "There's nothing up with me."

"Uh huh," Hanna scoffed. "Is it because I'm blonde?"

"What?" Emily wondered where the hell Hanna's mind was going. Sometimes she just didn't know.

She grabbed the ganache and spread a thin coating of the chocolate inside the wells.

"You heard me," Hanna replied. "You surround yourself with brunettes. You only date brunettes."

Emily laughed despite how precariously close she was to breaking and telling Hanna the truth. "Are you trying to tell me something Han? Are things okay with you and Caleb?"

Once the ganache was spread in each well Emily put the bottom layer on a cake stand.

"I don't want to date you Em," Hanna scoffed affably. "Although if I was gay you would totally be my type."

"Hanna," Emily rolled her eyes as she filled the well with one third of the raspberry sauce.

"I just want to know what the hell is going on with you. Why are you avoiding your only blonde friend?"

Hanna was trying to guilt Emily into telling her what was wrong and the brunette hated how good at it the blonde was.

"You're not my only blonde friend. I don't care what color your hair is."

Emily spread a thin layer of the ganache over the raspberry sauce to create a barrier before placing the next layer of cake on top of it.

"Then just tell me what the problem is."

"Fine," Emily snapped as she slammed her hand on the counter. "You're a real pain in the ass Hanna Marin."

She could practically hear Hanna grinning on the other end of the phone. "But you love me anyway. Now what is it you don't wanna tell me?"

Emily sighed heavily. She really needed to talk to someone about this. Hanna probably wasn't the best choice but if she didn't talk to someone soon she was going to go crazy.

"I saw Alison," Emily said hesitantly as she started repeating the steps with the second layer of cake.

"I'm sorry but what did you just say to me?" Hanna's voice was low and dangerous.

"You heard me," Emily threw Hanna's words back at her.

The blonde was silent for so long, Emily wondered if she hung up.

"Han?" Emily questioned as she grabbed her phone off the counter and moved it closer to her on the breakfast bar. She looked at the face of her phone to make sure the call was still connected but then a string of curses so long and offensive spewed out of Hanna's mouth, Emily had to shake her head when it was over.

"Tell me how you really feel, Han. Jeez. Do you kiss Caleb with that mouth?"

Emily again repeated the same steps on the third layer of the cake slowly building the tower.

"How the fuck do you manage to come across Alison DiLaurentis in a city of over ten million people?"

"Dumb luck?" Emily offered halfheartedly.

"Is that why you moved there?" Hanna asked sternly before the words "fuck" and "diabolical" were muttered.

Emily looked at her phone confused. "Hanna what are you talking about?"

"Is that why you got a job there?" Hanna's tone was full of accusation. "Did you know she was there?"

Once the cake was built, Emily grabbed her phone and walked back to the stove to start another bowl of fresh ganache, this time using more cream to make the concoction thinner.

"Of course I didn't know," Emily said as she stirred the cream. "What kind of question is that?"

"I don't believe you," Hanna replied peevishly.

"I don't care what you believe, Hanna," Emily replied offended by the accusation. "You know how long I looked for her. Do you really think I wouldn't have told you if I'd found her."

"I used to," Hanna said. "But now I don't know."

"That's not fair," Emily replied defensively.

"When did you see her? What the hell happened?"

Emily poured the now simmered cream over another batch of chocolate pieces and let it sit for a minute. "About a month," she admitted. "She's a photographer and was doing a photo shoot at the restaurant."

"Un-fucking-believable," Hanna mused as some of her anger and shock dissipated slightly. "Of all the gin joints in all the towns in all the world…"

"Tell me about it," Emily agreed with Hanna's reference to Casablanca as she started whisking the ganache.

"Did you talk to her?" Hanna asked a little softer now. This was why Emily loved Hanna so much. She could go from offended and angry on Emily's behalf to sympathetic and gentle when she knew that's what her friends needed from her more.

"Not while she was at the restaurant," Emily admitted as she began pouring the warm ganache over the cake, letting it form a smooth shiny layer of chocolate over the entire cake.

"Where did you see her again?" Hanna asked curiously.

Emily waited a beat before she responded. "I chased her all the way home and then confronted her."

"Of course you fucking did," Hanna groaned in her ear.

"Hanna I don't need your judgment right now," Emily snapped as she stepped back and looked at the cake, making sure the entire thing was coated with the ganache.

"Fine," Hanna conceded. "What happened? What did she say?"

Emily turned the cake to check all the sides. "Nothing satisfactory."

"That's not surprising. Alison never gives satisfactory answers."

"She knew I was looking for her."

"What?" Hanna screeched.

"She knew I was looking for her," Emily repeated as she dropped down into one of the breakfast bar chairs.

"What a bitch," Hanna growled.

"She said she was trying to be unselfish for once." Emily rubbed her temples. Talking about this was giving her a headache.

"Alison _only_ knows how to be selfish," Hanna reiterated basically what Emily herself had told Alison. At the time she meant it but Emily wondered if it were really true. "Did you at least bitch slap her?" Hanna asked. "Please tell me you at least bitch slapped her. You've got to give me something here, Em."

"I didn't know whether to slap her or kiss her Hanna," Emily confessed softly, the truth of those words causing an ache in her chest. "I'm so freaking confused right now."

"We're you even going to tell me at all?"

Emily hesitated and Hanna growled in response. "Emily Fields."

"Eventually," Emily admitted with a heavy sigh before adding, "When I figured out what the hell to do about it."

Hanna sighed just as heavily over the phone. "What did Mari say?"

Emily was quiet.

"Emily Fields," Hanna growled again. "You better have told your girlfriend or I'm going to come out there and kick your chocolate raspberry truffle cake ass all over the place."

"Would you stop using my full name?" Emily growled back as she stood up and started cleaning up, needing to be doing something or she was going to start banging her head against the counter. "And I tried to tell her but what was I supposed to say?"

"How about the psycho bitch that broke my heart so badly I'm still a fucking wreck is here. Let's move," Hanna offered as a suggestion.

"Hanna, stop calling her a bitch," Emily responded sternly as she placed her phone on the counter beside the sink and filled it with soapy water.

"There you go defending her like you always do."

"I'm not defending her," Emily insisted. And she wasn't even though her instincts told her she should. "I just don't like you calling her names."

"Oh my god, you're still in love with her," Hanna screeched and her voice echoed through the kitchen.

"No I'm not." Emily swallowed back the lump that formed in her throat as she said that.

"That's the most insincere fucking thing you've ever said to me," Hanna scoffed. "This is like that fucking church all over again."

"Hanna, we agreed to never talk about that night again," Emily replied dangerously as she started loading the dirty dishes into the dishwasher.

"You're right, I'm sorry," Hanna said contritely before asking more calmly. "You're still in love with her, aren't you?"

"I love Mari," was all Emily could say.

"Yes," Hanna agreed. "And she's a fucking kick ass girlfriend who _loves_ you. Don't you dare get tangled up with Alison. She's only going to fuck you over and break your heart all over again."

Emily violently scrubbed the cake pan before she threw it down into the sink and shut off the water.

"Hanna, I really don't need this from you right now, okay? I love Mari. I'm living with Mari. And I have no intention of getting involved with Alison again." Emily dried her hands and walked out of the kitchen.

"Did she deliberately seek you out? Did Jason tell her you were there?" Hanna asked as Emily sat on the sofa and rested her phone on her boobs.

"What are you talking about? How would Jason have known?"

"Why didn't Spencer warn them so they could avoid you?" Hanna muttered under her breath, clearly without thought.

"What" Emily screeched as she sat forward. Her phone went flying on the floor.

"Oh fuck!" Hanna muttered again before adding. "Oh wow. Look at the time. I gotta run, Em."

"Don't you dare hang up this phone Hanna," Emily demanded angrily as she picked up her phone. "What did you mean about Spencer warning them? I thought Spencer didn't know where they were."

Hanna was quiet.

"Hanna."

Hanna was still quiet.

"Hanna Marin you better answer me right this minute!" Emily glared at the phone wishing they were on FaceTime so her friend could see her right now.

"Oh alright. Jeez. Keep your panties on will ya."

"Spencer told me she had no idea where Jason was."

"She didn't," Hanna admitted rather hesitantly. "Until about two years ago."

"Two years?" Emily choked the words out.

Hanna sighed. "She had her own PI looking for him. He is her half brother after all." Emily was speechless and that rarely happened. "Anyway," Hanna continued. "He found Jason in LA. Spencer flew out and saw him. They both thought it was best that you and Alison didn't know."

"This is why you tried to talk me out of moving to LA wasn't it?" Emily accused as she stood up and stalked down the hallway to the bedroom. She had to take a shower and get to work.

"Yes. Obviously I didn't do a very good job. And it wasn't totally about Alison. I wanted you closer to me." Hanna tried to assure her but it wasn't helping. "When you made up your mind we all figured LA was a big enough city that the chances of you running into her were slim. So much for that fucking assumption."

"We both live in Santa Monica, Hanna. It's not that big of a city."

"She and Jason lived in Venice back then. I think Jason still does."

"I can't believe you kept this from me." Emily grabbed a towel out of the linen closet and walked into the bathroom.

"We did it for your own good, Em. You'd already moved on with Mari. What would have been the point of dragging it all up again?"

"It wasn't your decision to make, Hanna," Emily replied as she turned on the shower. "Why does everyone make these decisions for my own fucking good and not let me do it myself?"

"Em," Hanna started to say but Emily interrupted her.

"No, Hanna. There isn't anything you can say right now that will make this okay." Emily tossed her phone on the counter and started to strip. "Did Aria know?"

By Hanna's hesitation Emily already knew the answer. "Not at first," the blonde eventually said. "But I told her about a year ago."

Everyone had lied to her. Emily wanted to be sick.

"You're supposed to be my friends."

"We are your friends, Em. We love you. Ali is toxic for you. We all know that. Even you know it deep down. You have Mari. Why does Alison matter anymore?"

"I have to go Hanna," Emily said abruptly. "I'm going to be late for work."

"Em, don't be like that," Hanna begged.

"Like what Hanna?" Emily snapped. "Like all my friends have lied to me for years. We all promised after what happened there would be _no more lies_ between us. Guess I was the only one to uphold it."

"You mean like how you told us all about seeing Alison?" the blonde accused.

"I just told you."

"Only after I had to pull it out of you."

Emily knew Hanna was right. But she wasn't about to admit it. She was the one who was wronged, more than any of the others. And she was just done.

"Goodbye, Hanna," Emily said effectively ending the conversation.

"Em," Hanna started but Emily interrupted her again as she added.

"And don't call me. I'll call you when I'm ready to talk."

##############

"Are you really still not talking to me?" Jack asked as he dropped his big body down into the chair next to Alison.

Alison didn't answer him and just continued to review her notes. She'd gotten just about all the shots she wanted. There were only a few more she needed and they'd be done for the day.

It was the first time she was working with Jack since the day she'd seen Emily. If he wasn't the best gaffer she knew she would have hired someone else because she was still pissed at him.

Throughout the entire shoot, she only talked to him when absolutely necessary. That made for an awkward environment because the only other person present on the small static set was the production designer and he had long since disappeared once the set was staged, saying he'd be back when she was done doing her thing.

"You've got to be kidding me," Jack groaned when she continued to ignore him. "How was I supposed to know you didn't want to see her?"

"Maybe because I ran out of there like my ass was on fire," she finally replied tired of his incessant nagging.

"I didn't know you ran off. You were just gone when I turned around. I thought you got tired of waiting and blew me off." He shot her an obvious look. "It wouldn't have been the first time."

"So you just tell a complete stranger where I live?" she asked as she looked at him incredulously.

"I knew she wasn't a complete stranger," he waved his hand. "I recognized her from the picture beside your bed."

Alison growled softly. "This is why I don't let people in my bedroom."

"And I didn't tell her where you lived," Jack said before reluctantly adding. "Just that you lived a couple blocks away."

Alison reached over and punched him in the arm, smiling to herself when she made him flinch.

"Hey, when she started having a meltdown in the dining room because she didn't catch you I figured-"

"Wait, what?" Alison asked all her attention on Jack now.

"Huh?" he said thrown off by being interrupted.

"What do you mean she had a meltdown?"

"Oh," he drawled. "So now you're interested in talking to me."

"Jack I swear to god I'll rip off your balls and feed them to my dog if you don't tell me what happened." Alison shifted in her chair so she could turn the full force of her glare on him.

Jack grinned. "I love it when you get violent."

"Jack," she growled and punched him again.

"Alright, damn." He shook his arm and then stood up and out of her reach. "She tossed that crazy white hat she was wearing and ran out the front door calling your name. When she came back a couple minutes later, she was frantic. Pierre asked her what was wrong and she said you were an old friend so I said you lived nearby," he added innocently. "I think he could tell she was about to lose it so he just handed her the box and told her to go."

Alison pondered Jack's words for a minute. Emily had always been the calm one in their group of friends. That kind of frenetic behavior was uncommon for her.

Alison could feel Jack's eyes on her and she frowned at him. "What?"

"When you told me she was an old friend you didn't say she was _that kind_ of old friend."

"That's because it's none of your business," Alison said as she stood up and put her notes in the camera bag hanging on the back of the chair.

"The girl did a number on you, huh?" he asked in the voice and with the gentle look in his eyes that made Alison adore him. Jack was one of the good guys and if Emily didn't exist, he could have been a contender.

But as long as Emily Fields existed in the world no one else had a fighting chance.

"We did a number on each other," Alison said quietly as she reached for a new zoom to swap with the one on her camera.

"Did you two talk it out?" He asked as he followed her.

"Again none of your business," she replied coolly as she swapped out the lenses.

"Fine." He nudged her with his hip. "At least you're talking to me again."

"For the moment," she added, shoving him away, before she moved put the old zoom in its case. "I need you to adjust those lights a little to the right?"

"Do you want to grab dinner?" Jack asked as he did as he was asked. "I think I owe you for outing your location."

Alison shook her head as she walked around the set and adjusted a few pieces of furniture. "I can't tonight. I have something to do."

"Your loss." He tilted his head as he watched her. "You know it's always weird when you photograph inanimate objects and not people."

"You just like it when I photograph beautiful women."

"Why do you think I work with you so often"? He stopped what he was doing and looked over at her. "By the way, what happened with the Sports Illustrated swimsuit gig? Are you gonna get it or what?"

Alison chuckled. Jack was so predictable. "I haven't heard back yet."

"You know you'll be the first female photographer to shoot that if you get it."

"Yes Jack," she smirked. "I'm the one who told you that, remember?"

"I'll work for free on that shoot. Just sayin'." He grinned turned the last light on.

"I'll remember that if and when the time comes. Now come on, focus," Alison said as she walked over to look in the camera viewfinder before adjusting the camera angle. "Pepe's been inside the house since early this morning. I've got to get back and let him out. If he pisses on the floor one more time I'm gonna lose it."

"Psycho dog," Jack said and just grinned when Alison reached over to punch him again but he managed to dodge her fist. "But I'll even offer to dog sit that psycho anytime you want if you promise to take me on that shoot."

#############

"Oh god, Mari, yes," Emily moaned softly. "Right there. Please, god, don't stop."

Marielle chuckled softly but Emily didn't have it in her to care at the moment. The way her girlfriend was working the knot in her calf felt just too good.

"Didn't you stretch this morning?"

"Yes," Emily yelped as Marielle hit a particularly sore spot. "I always stretch."

"Not enough apparently," Marielle murmured. "I don't know why you run on the weekend. Les week-ends sont faits pour se détendre."

"I don't run on Sundays," Emily replied as she pushed up on her hands so she could look at Marielle where she sat at the foot of the bed.

Her girlfriend was still in her pajamas, had still been sound asleep when Emily returned from her morning run. But just as she walked into the bedroom, the pain shot through her leg and the loud groan that escaped Emily's lips had woken Marielle immediately.

"So what are we doing today?" Emily asked as she wiggled her foot, trying to keep the circulation going.

Marielle looked over her shoulder. "You keep talking about going down to the Venice Ocean Front Walk. I thought we could go walk around and then have lunch before you have to go to work."

"Oh," Emily said in surprise as her lips curved into an excited smile. "I've wanted to do that since we got here."

The boardwalk at Venice State Beach was world famous and Emily had been trying to drag Marielle down there every weekend since she arrived. It was supposed to be an eclectic mix of shops and restaurants as well as a myriad of street performers and artists. It sounded like a great place to just walk around and people watch.

"I know," Marielle stopped massaging Emily's calf and just caressed it softly. "Is that better?"

Emily nodded as she reached over and caressed her girlfriend's cheek. "Yes. Thank you."

"Tout le plaisir était pour moi." Marielle said as she smiled.

Emily looked at her girlfriend and wondered once again what she'd done to get so lucky. Marielle truly was one of the sweetest and most considerate and loving woman she'd ever met.

Emily had been very moody and short tempered with Marielle for over a week, ever since her phone call with Hanna. She hadn't initially told Marielle about the conversation because then she would have had to tell her the topic. She needed time to brood about her friends' lies. Spencer and Aria had both been trying to call her constantly but at least Hanna had respected her wishes and hadn't called again.

Marielle knew something was wrong and asked her about it but Emily blamed it on PMS, something they both knew Marielle suffered from more than Emily. But her girlfriend let it go, gave Emily space and tried not to engage her when Emily would snap.

At least until Wednesday.

Wednesdays were Marielle's "mental health" days so she was at home in the morning before Emily left for work. The two of them got into an awful fight, Marielle finally reaching her limit with Emily's moodiness. By the time Emily got home after an equally bad night at the restaurant, Marielle was waiting up wanting to have it out. Her French temper had been suppressed long enough.

While their fights were rare, they were always explosive. Emily was never much of a screamer but Marielle's voice could rise quite a bit when she was angry. When finally confronted Emily apologized and told Marielle about her argument with Hanna, about her friends' lying and keeping secrets from her, but she left out the part that it was about Alison. And Marielle had always respected Emily's privacy so she didn't press when Emily said it wasn't important what they were lying about but it was the principal of it.

Emily was still angry with her friends, almost more than Alison. Yes, Alison broke promises to her and abandoned her and hid from her. But at least Alison didn't pretend to be anything or anyone but who she was when Emily confronted her. She had the same excuse, that she was trying to protect Emily, but Alison hadn't looked her in the face for the last six years and blatantly lied to her.

Emily scooted down the bed. "Let me jump in the shower and then I'll make us strawberry crepes while you shower."

"My favorite," Marielle smiled softly.

"I know," Emily replied as she grinned. Then she kissed Marielle quickly before she jumped up and headed toward the bathroom to get ready for their excursion.

###############

"Not another store?" Emily whined as Marielle tugged on her hand, pulling her toward yet another shop on the Venice Ocean Front Walk. Marielle had already dragged into several shops on Abbott Kinney Blvd before they even headed down to the boardwalk. All Emily wanted to do was watch the street performers and skateboarders, not go in and out of stores she had no intention of buying anything in anyway. "Everything down here is so tacky."

Marielle just laughed at Emily's overdramatic response. "American Apparel isn't tacky."

"That's the only one. You promised if I went into that lamp store that we could come down here and people watch," Emily tried to pout but Marielle was having none of it.

She laughed again and shook her head. "I don't understand how you don't like shopping. Are you sure you're a woman?"

"Last time I checked I had all the right parts," Emily replied as she looked down at her chest.

"Behave," Marielle pinched Emily in the side gently.

"It's almost noon. I do have to go to work in a few hours and you promised to buy me lunch you know.

"I just want to go into the gift shop over there," Marielle pointed a little ways down the boardwalk. "Then we can eat wherever you want."

"I want to try that Peruvian place we saw." They passed a tattoo shop and Emily's eyes took on a mischievous glint. "Or we could always get matching tattoos," Emily suggested playfully.

Marielle narrowed her eyes. "That would be a no."

Emily smirked. "So you wouldn't love me if I had a tattoo of a snake across my back."

Marielle didn't answer her. She just rolled her eyes and waved Emily away. "Go watch your people and I'll come get you when I'm done."

Emily snickered. "I'll be at the skate park watching the skateboarders. Unless I can find that guy I heard about who walks on broken glass."

"Have fun," Marielle said absently, as she browsed through a rack of vintage t-shirts.

Emily headed toward the skate park, taking in the vendors that lined the west side of the walk. She walked by a mime and shuddered as memories flooded her of the last mime she saw in Ravenswood. Maybe all the characters down here on the boardwalk weren't so interesting.

Emily approached the concrete bowl at the skate park. She found a bench at the edge and sat down. It afforded her a view of the skaters, the main boardwalk and the shop that Marielle was currently perusing in the distance. She settled back on the bench and slipped her ear buds in so she could listen to music while she watched.

Emily looked down when she felt something bump into her calf only to find Pepe standing beside her wagging his tail. He barked and bumped her leg again demanding a pat.

"Hey, Pepe," she said surprised. She stroked his back before looking up to see Alison coming to a stop a few feet from the bench. She felt her stomach drop. What were the chances of her running into Alison in Santa Monica and then again in Venice?

Clearly the universe was conspiring against her. Emily quickly looked in the direction of the boardwalk where Marielle was shopping. She scanned the area for any sign of her girlfriend, her momentary panic vanishing as she saw Marielle was still browsing the racks of t-shirts in front of the shop. The last thing she wanted was for Marielle and Alison to meet.

"Pepe, come on. Leave her alone," Alison said as she tugged on the leash. "I didn't see you there, otherwise I wouldn't have let him get so far ahead of me and come over to you."

"It's okay," Emily said as she removed her ear buds and lifted her sunglasses onto the top of her head.

Both women were distracted by the sound of the crowd cheering and Emily looked over and saw one of the skaters finishing a hard flip.

Alison took the momentary disruption as an opportunity to look at Emily. The brunette was dressed casually in jean cutoff shorts and a t-shirt. Her hair was long and loose and Alison wanted to bury her face in it and just inhale. Emily was so fucking beautiful it left the blonde breathless.

Alison's perusal was interrupted when Emily's eyes returned to her. Alison quickly looked away and watched the skaters but she could feel Emily's eyes on her and it made her tremble.

Despite the fact that this was probably a disaster waiting to happen, Emily let her eyes rake over Alison for as long as she could indulge. She couldn't help herself. Even though she was still angry at the blonde, she was starved for the sight of her.

She and Pepe had clearly been jogging. Alison was in running shorts and a tank top and her hair was pulled up into a ponytail. She had on a sunglasses and Emily could see the slight sheen of sweat on her skin. The sight gave Emily that tingle low in her belly again and she shifted on the bench restlessly. The handle of Pepe's leash was in one of Alison's hands and Emily was surprised to see the other hand was in a brace.

"Funny seeing you here," Emily said even though it was the farthest thing from funny.

Alison's lips curved up in a wry smile. "LA is a lot smaller than people realize."

An awkward silence stretched between them.

"I didn't know you liked to jog," Emily finally said in an effort to fill the silence.

Alison snorted. "Yeah, well, I don't really but I've been told my dog is fat so he's now on an exercise regimen that requires me to be on one too."

Emily reached over and rubbed Pepe behind the ears. "He's a little chunky but most of that is all fur."

"That's what I said," Alison threw her hands up in the air dramatically. Finally someone agreed with her.

Emily chuckled and the blonde had to once again hold herself back from throwing herself at the brunette and kissing her senseless. God, how could just a smile and a laugh do that to her?

"What happened?" Emily asked as she motioned to Alison's injured hand.

Alison looked down at the brace on her wrist and frowned. "Just a little accident. It's no big deal."

There was another awkward silence, neither woman knowing what to say to the other. But Emily finally had to ask because it had been gnawing at her since her fight with Hanna.

"Can I ask you something?"

Alison looked hesitant but she said, "Yes."

"Did you know I was here in LA?"

Alison was surprised by the question. She shook her head and answered honestly. "No. The last I knew you were in Paris."

Emily nodded slowly but her relief was palpable.

There was another awkward silence, despite all the noise around them.

"Can I ask you something now?" Alison finally spoke.

Emily nodded cautiously.

"How did you find me so fast that day?"

"Alison, I-" Emily started with a sigh but Alison shook her head.

"I don't want to fight with you again, Em. I don't have it in me. I just can't figure out how you made it to my place so quickly."

"I grabbed my bike," Emily said with a shrug. "And rode up and down every street until I saw the car you drove off in."

"You rode your bike?" Alison asked as her brow arched.

"After everything that happened that day, you find that surprising?"

Alison's lips curved despite her effort to remain stoic. "I'm just wondering what you have against cars."

"I don't have anything against them," Emily frowned. "I live close enough to the restaurant that I can ride a bike. I don't have to worry about finding parking or gas or-"

"You don't have to justify anything to me." Alison's eyes crinkled in the corners as she tried to hold back a chuckle.

"Then why are you making it sound like I'm crazy."

Alison's face fell and her lips curled down into a frown. "We both know only one of us is crazy."

As much as her instinct was to try to reassure the blonde that wasn't the case, Emily stayed quiet so another awkward silence between them followed until Alison's phone rang. She pulled it out of her shorts and lifted it to her ear.

"Hey, Nicole, what's up?" Emily looked over at the skaters and pretended not to listen to Alison's phone call, But she was instantly intrigued because she knew nothing about Alison's life. Who was Nicole?

"Pepe and I took a jog down to the boardwalk." She was silent for a minute. "Yes I do exercise sometimes."

Emily snickered to herself but Alison heard her and scowled at her before she sighed. "Why?" Alison was quiet for a minute and then replied. "I'll head back now."

The blonde ended her call just as Pepe barked and tugged on his leash.

"I have to go," she said regretfully. Even though it was awkward and neither of them knew what to say Alison didn't want to leave Emily's presence. "Come on Pepe," she added and the dog immediately walked over to her.

"Okay," Emily said, both relieved and disappointed as Alison turned to walk away.

"Oh, Em?" Alison stopped and turned back as Emily's eyes met hers. "Did you make that chocolate dessert?" Emily looked at her a bit confused so she clarified. "The one that you left at my house."

Emily nodded. "Yes."

Alison's lips curved into a bright smile. And Emily thought she'd never seen anything more beautiful.

"Did you like it?" Emily asked. She always loved to hear someone enjoyed her desserts but she wasn't a woman who sought gratuitous praise. But for some reason she _needed _to know Alison liked it.

"It was orgasmic," Alison sighed breathlessly.

Emily felt the rush of warmth run through her at Alison's words, for multiple reasons, but she forced herself to ignore it. "Thanks," she replied with a smile.

"Bye, Em," Alison said as the smile slipped from her lips and she turned again. She and Pepe jogged away and Alison inhaled a shuddering breath. Walking away from Emily was always so painful.

And it only got more painful each time she did it.

Emily watched Alison and Pepe vanish into the swarm of people on the boardwalk. She swallowed back a lump in her throat. Watching Alison walk away from her always caused something inside her to die a little.

##############

Marielle slipped her hand into Emily's and they continued to walk down the boardwalk. This was the perfect time for Emily to bring up that she'd seen Alison but her tongue was tied once again.

She didn't want to tell Marielle because by doing so felt like she was letting Alison back into her life. She couldn't afford to do that because, if she did, Emily knew her life, as she knew it, would come crashing down around her.

As they approached the Peruvian restaurant, they passed another café where the food smelled delicious. Emily looked over, thinking maybe they should eat there instead. Her eyes widened and she did a double take.

Sitting on the patio of a cafe was Alison, Pepe snoozing at her feet. She was seated across from a man Emily recognized at Detective Holbrook. They were in a heated conversation even though it was obvious they were trying to keep their voices down. Holbrook grabbed her injured hand and she yanked it away angrily as her lips moved rapidly. Emily cursed herself for never learning to read lips but she'd known Alison long enough to recognize the signs. Alison was tearing Holbrook a new asshole, but he just sat back and shook his head, his eyes flashing as angrily at her as the blonde's were at him.

Emily desperately wanted to move closer, wanted to hear what they were saying, but she couldn't without alerting Marielle of Alison's presence.

"Emily?" she heard Marielle say her name and she looked over. Her girlfriend was looking at her curiously. "Am I boring you?"

"No," Emily insisted as she shook her head and focused back on the woman beside her, not the one sitting less than fifty feet away. "Sorry I just spaced for a second."

Emily quickly guided Marielle past the café, not wanting her to see Alison.

"À quoi penses-tu ma belle?"

"Nothing. I'm right here with you," Emily assured as she leaned over and kissed Marielle softly, sufficiently distracting her.

As they reached the entrance to the Peruvian restaurant, Emily looked back only to see that Alison and Holbrook were gone.

##############

Emily knocked on the door to Pierre's office, still unsure if this was a good idea, but she had to do it.

"Entre," he called and Emily opened the door and peeked in.

"Hi," She said as she stepped inside the small office.

"Bonjour," Pierre smiled as he put down his pen and sat back.

"Do you have a minute?" Emily asked.

He nodded and waved his arm toward the chair. "Of course. Have a seat."

Emily shook her head. "Thanks but I'll only take a minute of your time. En Français ou en Anglais?" she asked as a courtesy because Pierre sometimes preferred to speak in his native tongue.

He smiled. "English is fine."

Emily took a breath. "First I feel like I should apologize again for acting like a crazy person and running out that day Alison was here."

"I told you that was fine Emily," he said kindly. "We all have those moments."

Emily shook her head. "But still it was completely unprofessional and I assure you it will never happen again."

He tilted his head as he looked at her. "Okay. I appreciate the assurance but it's unnecessary. I know the kind of person you are, the kind of employee you are and the brilliant _pâtissier_ you are," he finished as he smiled.

Emily appreciated Pierre's words. He was such a wonderful man and an amazing boss. And in the few months she worked for him, the brunette learned that he considered everyone who worked for him family.

"Thank you," Emily replied sincerely.

"So now that's settled. It's your day off. Tell me what are you doing here?"

Emily shifted from one foot to the other. "Well, that's the thing. It's about Alison. I know I didn't tell you much about what caused me to freak out that day."

"You don't owe me any explanations about your personal life Emily, as long as it doesn't affect your work." Emily looked sheepish and Pierre laughed. "Well anymore."

Emily sighed softly. "It's a long complicated story, but anyway, that's not why I'm here. I need to speak to her again and I've tried stopping by her house but she's never there when I do. I was hoping maybe you had a number for her."

Pierre looked at her for a long moment before he pulled open the drawer to his right. "She gave me a card that day. I think it had a phone number and an address of a studio." He rummaged through the stack of business cards. "I think it was on Main Street."

Emily palms began to sweat as she waited.

"Ah, here it is." He held the card out to her.

"I don't want to take your card. I can just write down the information," she said.

"I don't need it," he assured her so she took it from him.

Emily looked down at the card and read the address before tucking it into the front pocket of her pants. "Thank you Pierre," she said again.

"Good luck," he said and she could tell he was curious, but also polite enough not to ask.

"I'm probably going to need it," Emily replied and she shrugged as she stepped back and opened the office door. "I'll see you tomorrow."

"On se voit demain."

################

Alison was tweaking the color saturation of a photo on her computer when Cece came around the wall into the alcove of the studio where she kept her desk and printer.

"So you _are_ alive," Cece said sarcastically as she tossed her purse onto the chair across from the desk.

Alison didn't flinch or even look up. "Nice to see you too."

"You really have to fire that guy you have helping you. He's a moron," Cece said as she walked around the side of the desk and hiked herself up on the edge.

"Tim's nice. Leave him alone," Alison said as she continued to work on the photo in front of her.

"He's a moron," she repeated. "He didn't even remember me."

"Maybe you're just forgettable," Alison suggested as she smirked.

Cece kicked the side of Alison's chair. "Bitch, I'm unforgettable. And don't you forget it."

Alison laughed. "Is there a reason why you're here?"

Cece scowled. "You fucking forgot our spa day today didn't you?"

Alison closed her eyes before dropping her head. "Dammit," she muttered under her breath before looking up. Cece was glaring at her. "I'm sorry. I thought that was on Tuesday."

"Today is Tuesday, bitch." Cece's glare turned into a smirk. "You know you're completely off your game since your saw Americano," Cece said using her old nickname for Emily.

Alison sat back in her chair. "She has nothing to do with this."

Cece snorted softly. "Yeah, right. And I'm not a mega bitch."

"Why didn't you call me earlier and remind me."

"I'm not your fucking keeper."

Alison rolled her eyes. "What's with you lately? You swear like a sailor. More than usual that is."

Cece's smirk widened as she shifted to look at Alison more fully. "I decided that I love the word fuck so much that I'm going to use it as often as possible."

Alison arched her brow inquisitively. "Is there a reason for that?"

"Nope. Just feel like it. Oh, and it gets Jason really hot when I say it," Cece's lips curved into a seductive grin. "So that's incentive enough."

"Eww," Alison shuddered. "I don't need to know things like that about you and my brother thank you very much."

Cece just chuckled lowly before she tilted her head. "What are you doing that's so fucking important that you blew me off and why are you doing it here and not at your home office?"

"I had a last minute photo shoot for that article for Natalie. That's why _Tim_," Alison emphasized his name. "Is cleaning up out there."

Cece scoffed sarcastically. "That's all he's good for because did I mention he's a moron? This is what happens when you use free help, you know."

"He's an intern for school credit. Give him a break."

"Where's your new _assistant_ anyway? Why didn't she help you?"

"Regan can't start until Monday. She's moving down from Oregon this week."

"Boring," Cece yawned. "So let's get back on the subject at hand."

Alison just shook her head used to Cece's propensity to ask things and then not really want to hear the answer. "What subject is that?"

"You and Americano."

Alison's brow furrowed as she looked back toward the computer screen. "There's nothing to say. But if you insist on talking about her can you at least call her by her real name?"

"No. I'll call her what I want. And fuck yes, there's more to say. It's been over a month, Ali. The fact that you haven't mentioned her at least a thousand times is freaking both me and Jason out."

Alison sighed and folded her arms over her chest. "There's no reason to mention her. I saw her. It was a fucking disaster. End of story."

"There is no end of story with you and Emily." Cece used Emily's real name so Alison knew she was serious about this conversation and wasn't going to be deterred.

"Well there has to be. She has a girlfriend."

"Since when did something like that stop you?"

"I'm not that person anymore," Alison said as she frowned. "I won't fuck up her life if she's happy."

"But you still fucking love her," Cece stated the obvious.

"I'll always love her. It doesn't mean I'm right for her."

Cece released an aggravated sigh. "I can't believe I'm fucking saying this but there is no one more right for her, for either of you."

"Well it doesn't matter." Alison nibbled on her bottom lip before she spoke again. "And I might have seen her again since that first time."

"Excuse me?" Cece shrieked. "When the fuck did that happen?"

Alison just rolled her eyes as she went back to focusing on the computer screen. Cece's new obsession with the word "fuck" was going to get old real quick.

"I saw her at the boardwalk last weekend," Alison said casually, hoping Cece would let it drop.

She didn't. The blonde stood up, walked around the desk and turned the computer screen around.

"What the hell, Cec," Alison snapped as she glared at her friend.

"Okay, bitch, start at the fucking beginning," Cece demanded as she narrowed her eyes. "Because first you're going to tell me what happened with Emily and then," Cece pointed at Alison's brace. "You're going to tell me what the fuck happened to your hand this time."

################

Emily walked into the studio and up to the young guy folding up the chairs.

"Excuse me. I'm here to see Alison DiLaurentis."

"Who?" he said as he looked at her funny.

"Alison DiLaurentis," Emily said again a little more slowly.

"There's no one here by that name," he replied as he continued to work.

"I know this is her studio."

He stopped and looked at her. "This is Alison's studio but her last name isn't DiLaura… what was it you said again?"

"Di-Laur-en-tis." Emily said even more slowly. She knew it wasn't this guy's fault she was anxious and upset but she had no patience for him today. It had taken all her courage to come down here. This could turn into a disaster of epic proportions but she needed more answers from Alison before she could have any hope of moving on.

"I think you've got the wrong person," he said with a shrug.

"What is her last name then?" Emily asked as she took a calming breath.

"Fields," the guy said and Emily felt like she had the wind knocked out of her.

"I'm sorry, what did you say?"

This time it was the guy's turn to speak slowly. "Her last name is Fields."

Emily's brain couldn't process what he was saying.

He lifted the camera case and put it on the cart with the chairs and other equipment. "She's in the back. Do you want me to get her for you?"

Emily shook her head. "No thanks. You're right; I've got the wrong person."

Emily turned and walked out of the studio, almost walking into the door she was so distracted. She stepped out onto the sidewalk and leaned against the side of the building.

Why would Alison have her last name?

Emily looked up at the sign on the building above the door.

_ADF Photography. _

The name hadn't registered when Pierre gave her the card. She pulled it out of her pocket again and looked at it more closely. Only the studio name, address and phone number were on the front. She turned the card over and saw a picture of Alison with her name beneath it. The word _photographer_ was off to the right and there were email and social media addresses along the bottom.

Why hadn't she turned the freaking card over and read Alison's name?

The thought of seeing Alison again, confronting her about what she saw at the boardwalk and demanding the answers she deserved distracted her from registering the initials. She was so focused on the address she completely missed the rest of it.

Then again in no universe did Emily ever imagine Alison had changed her name.

Emily couldn't wrap her mind around this Alison, this person she'd encountered after so long. Alison had always been an enigma. She marched to the beat of her own drum. It was one of the things Emily always loved about her. But this woman was even more confusing and frustrating and no one had ever been able to wreak such havoc on her mind and heart as Alison DiLaurentis.

Or Alison Fields as she was now known.

Emily felt a surge of anger rush through her. Who the hell did Alison think she was to take her last name? Did she do it so Emily wouldn't be able to find her? Now that she thought about it, every search she did for Alison DiLaurentis turned up blank beyond the events in Rosewood. It was almost like she'd fallen off the face of the earth.

Never in her wildest imagination would Emily have thought to look for an Alison Fields. Was that all part of her plan to keep Emily from finding her? Was that why the private investigator was never able to find her? Why Alison was able to hide from him so well?

The more she thought about it, the more questions arose, the angrier Emily got. Even apart, Alison was messing with her. She hadn't changed. She never stopped playing games. She was the same old Alison.

Emily knew she should just walk away and forget the blonde. Finally bury Alison for good and move on with Marielle, a girl who loved her, who never played any kind of games with her heart and who would never lie to her, like Alison always had.

She pushed off the wall and started to walk away. But then she stopped and let out a frustrated growl. As much as she wanted to just leave and never look back, she wanted answers more. She deserved answers. She'd never be fully free of Alison if she didn't get them. And once she had them she would turn around and walk away. For good.

Emily strode back into the studio with more purpose. The guy who had been there was gone as was the cart he'd been putting the equipment on. She could hear the faint sound of a female voice behind the wall at the back of the studio. So rather than announce herself she just walked back.

As she approached, the voice became louder and clearer. She could also hear another voice that she instantly recognized at Cece's.

"Alison, this has to fucking stop."

"Chill out Cece. I told you it was an accident."

"It's always an accident."

"I just wasn't quick enough."

"You come back from there more banged up each time. Your need to be a hero is going to get you killed one of these days."

"Cece, it's taken care of."

"I just don't get you. I mean I get what you're doing but I just don't-" Cece sighed. "I've spent too many years keeping your ass alive to let you throw it away out of some sense of-"

"I said I've taken care of it. It won't happen again."

"Until next time," Cece scoffed and Emily decided she'd heard enough.

She was even more confused but she was here for answers and she was done waiting for them so she walked around the wall and announced herself.

"Alison."

Alison's head whipped in her direction and Emily saw panic in her eyes. Cece turned toward her as well and her lips curved from a frown into a smile.

"Hey Americano, long time no see."

"Emily, what are you doing here?" Alison asked as she stepped around the desk.

"You and I need to talk."

Cece made a soft coughing noise behind her. "Busted."

"Shut up, Cece," Alison growled before turning her attention back to Emily.

"How did you find my studio?"

Emily took a few seconds before she responded. "Pierre gave me the address."

"Emily, I don't understand. I thought we said everything we had to say to each other."

"Not by a long shot," Emily replied curtly and Alison could see both hurt and anger in her eyes again. Unlike the last time, anger superseded the hurt.

"How did you get back here?" Cece asked curiously, amusement lacing her voice and Alison wanted to slap her for it.

Emily looked over at Cece for a second and then her eyes slid back to Alison before she answered. "The guy out front said I could come back." It wasn't exactly the truth but Emily didn't care.

Cece looked at Alison and her lips widened into a feral smirk. "Please let me fire him. You know I love it when you let me fire people."

"Cece, knock it off," Alison said as a knot started forming in her stomach. This conversation was not going to go well. Of that she was sure. And that made the blonde want to bolt.

But Alison didn't run from anything or anyone who scared her anymore. Except Emily.

"Whatever," Cece scoffed before she grabbed her purse from the chair. "I'm out of here. It was good to see you Emily."

"Cece," Emily said her name and that was it. It wasn't Cece's fault what Alison had done years ago or that she'd stayed away. Emily knew enough about Alison and Cece's past to know Cece had never been a good influence on the blonde. But while Alison was an adult and responsible for her own actions, Emily couldn't help but project her anger onto Alison's friend.

And she had been with Alison in Paris. There was that too.

Cece shot Alison a look before she said. "Maybe you can talk her into not being such a fucking idiot."

"Cece, shut up," Alison snapped at her. "You can leave now."

Cece just snorted and walked out without saying another word. Neither Alison nor Emily spoke right away. They just continued to look at each other and they could hear Cece briefly giving Tim a hard time before her voice faded away and was gone.

Finally Alison spoke. "I don't know what else we have to say to each other, Em."

"I deserve some answers Alison," Emily said as she crossed her arms.

Alison mimicked her posture. "About what exactly?"

"Everything," Emily replied angrily. "I was too shocked the first time I saw you for my brain to even function properly. And then the other day I didn't have any idea what to say to you. But I'm not leaving here until you give me some answers about why you really left me all those years ago."

"I've told you I'm sorry I hurt you," Alison snapped angrily. "We both have our own lives now. You've moved on, you made that pretty clear. So why do we need to rehash this?"

"Because you owe me," Emily screeched and her voice broke. "Some kind of explanation for why you destroyed me."

Alison looked at the girl across from her, breathing as heavily and angrily as her.

Emily looked so fucking beautiful and so broken, as broken as Alison herself still felt. All she wanted to do was soothe the brunette's tortured soul with words and touches and kisses. She ached to feel Emily again, even if it was only just once more as a final goodbye.

So Alison did the one thing she'd wanted to do since she first saw Emily standing on her doorstep.

She hurled herself at the brunette and pressed her lips against Emily's for the first time in six years.

* * *

**French Translations:**

Les week-ends sont faits pour se détendre. - The weekends are for relaxing.

Tout le plaisir était pour moi. – The pleasure was all mine.

À quoi penses-tu ma belle? – What are you thinking about beautiful?

Entre. – Come in.

En Français ou en Anglais? – French or English?

On se voit demain. – See you tomorrow.

* * *

**Sneak peek ahead….. stop reading now if that's not your thing…..**

**First, I know I said I planned to update once a week but I'm not going to be able to update again for two weeks. The next ten or so days are very busy for me work wise so I just won't have the time to edit. So to make up for that, especially after the way this chapter ended, I'm giving you a little sneak peek. This isn't from the next chapter, but a few chapters away.**

**Everything I write is deliberate. It has a purpose even if it doesn't seem like it and is most often foreshadowing of something to come later in the story.**

**This sneak peek is dedicated to all of you, my readers, particularly one very special guest reviewer. Hopefully this image of Alison and chocolate can replace the last…..**

**Thank you again as always for reading and if you're so inclined leave a review. I do appreciate them and love to read them.**

**Enjoy and see you again in two weeks.**

* * *

"God, Em," Alison whimpered as she arched her back over the stainless steel counter top.

Emily smiled from where she stood between Alison's spread thighs. She slowly drizzled thin lines of the warm decadent liquid confection over Alison's skin, making a figure eight pattern around and between her breasts; slowly making her way to the middle where the blonde's hard nipples pebbled in the center.

"That feels so good," Alison whimpered again for the fourth time in as many minutes.

"I told you it's all about the temperature," Emily replied breathlessly as she watched Alison's body writhe in pleasure.

"Fuck," Alison groaned and she arched her back deeper as the warm chocolate coated her skin, sending shivers of pleasure through her entire body.

"You're such a potty mouth," Emily chuckled now because Alison used the word fuck almost as much as Cece, even though she always gave her friend a hard time about how much she said it.

Emily finished drizzling the last light line around Alison's nipple then she stepped back to admire her handiwork.

Alison opened her eyes, the blue irises darker and full as she gasped for breath.

"You're so beautiful," Emily whispered reverently before she stepped sideways and turned.

"Where are you going?" Alison pouted hoarsely.

"I need one more thing. Don't move," Emily commanded softly as she stepped over to the refrigerator and pulled open the glass door. "Every class I took at _ecolet chocolat_ I dreamed of doing this to you one day," Emily admitted as she returned with a bowl with freshly whipped cream.

"Did you ever do this with Marielle?" Alison asked quietly, her eyes losing some of their heat.

Emily arched her brow. "Are you really bringing up my ex right now?"

Alison sighed and started to sit up but Emily pressed her hand on the blonde's stomach. "No. You'll ruin my masterpiece if you sit up." Emily looked around. "I need a picture of this. Where's your phone?"

Alison's lips curved into a sultry grin. "In the back pocket of the jeans you tossed across the room a few minutes ago."

Emily walked over and retrieved Alison's phone. Alison remained leaning back on her hands as her heated gaze followed the brunette. Her nipples ached and throbbed in anticipation as did the flesh between her thighs. Alison briefly looked down at her breasts and she swallowed thickly. She was so aroused by what Emily had just done and, as thoughts of what Emily would be doing soon assaulted her mind, she felt another rush of arousal soak her panties.

Emily stepped between her thighs again and snapped a couple of pictures. Alison leaned back, resting on her elbows now. She gasped as the cold steel of the countertop assaulted her warm skin again.

"You don't even really like chocolate," Alison mused as she watched Emily put her phone on the counter and then take a dollop of fresh whipped cream and drop it onto her nipple. "Oh," she moaned softly in response.

Now Emily's lips curved seductively. "I have a feeling I'm going to love the taste of it today."

And the brunette was sure she was. Just the thought of the chocolate mixed with the taste of Alison's skin was making her mouth water.

"Em, baby," Alison whimpered and writhed softly as Emily dropped a dollop of whipped cream on her other nipple before setting the bowl aside.

Emily pushed Alison's thighs wider and tugged her ass to the edge of the counter. Unable to wait a second longer, she leaned down and slowly swirled her tongue around Alison's right nipple, lapping up the sweet cream mixed with chocolate as the blonde's eyes rolled back in her head.

"You could so get fired for this if anyone finds out," Alison choked out softly.

Emily grinned as she lifted her head and licked her lips. "That's the brilliance of stainless steel. The chocolate cleans off easily and quickly."

"There's going to be a lot more than chocolate on this counter if you keep that up," Alison moaned long and low as Emily's tongue once again swirled softly up and over the soft mound of Alison's other breast.

The brunette caressed Alison's thighs, her fingers slowly moving toward the warm wet flesh between.

When she heard Alison gasp, Emily's lips curved again.

She was just getting started.


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything or anyone PLL.**

I could make a hundred excuses for why it's taken me so long to get this chapter posted or how busy my life has been lately but I won't.

I'll just say thanks for your patience. I wanted to get this whole story posted before the new season started and I'm going to try to catch up but I don't think it will happen. I should be back on schedule with weekly updates from now on though.

Thanks as always for reading and reviewing. It means so much that you take the time. It makes the time I spend writing it worthwhile.

Thanks again to Sophie for the translations.

And now... it's time for some answers….. And maybe a few more questions…. ;)

Enjoy!

* * *

**Chapter 4**

Emily stumbled backward from the force of Alison's body as it slammed into her. Of their own volition, her arms lifted and her fingers pressed into the soft flesh of Alison's hips as she attempted to steady them both. The shock of Alison's lips against her own left her stunned. But it didn't stop her body from instantly and instinctively reacting to the feel of the blonde's curves against her.

Alison trembled as she pressed against Emily and a soft moan escaped her lips before she could suppress it. The last time she was in Emily's arms was the night in the church, just before she shoved the girl she loved out of the burning structure and slammed the door in her face. That was the hardest thing Alison had ever done. Convinced she wouldn't make it out of the church alive, the blonde _finally_ told Emily how she felt because the brunette deserved the truth once and for all. Then Alison kissed her like her life depended on it, believing it would be the last time.

When she survived, Alison relived that moment over and over again, oftentimes wondering if she made the right choice that night. She had needed to unburden her soul when she believed she was going to die. But as the years passed she realized it hadn't been fair of her to tell Emily of her true feelings, only to survive and then vanish once again from her life without a trace.

Everyone, Emily included only just a few weeks ago, always said Alison was selfish. And it was true in many ways. But she honestly believed she had done what was best for Emily. Protecting the girl she loved and her former friends from her psychotic sister was all she'd been thinking about as she slammed those doors and stumbled back down into the church basement. When she woke in the hospital and realized she hadn't perished along with her sister, Alison almost felt robbed of her one attempted truly selfless act.

She knew Emily wanted to see her, both Jason and Cece told her the brunette kept visiting the hospital and then the house after Alison returned home. But as much as she desperately wanted to see Emily, as much as she wanted the comfort she knew the brunette could bring to her, Alison was broken from the events the occurred. She was a shell of her former self and one she didn't want Emily to see.

The events of those final few minutes crushed and destroyed something deep inside her that she never felt would be right again. She couldn't bear to taint Emily with it, so Alison decided, once again, to put the brunette and her well being before her own.

Emily would never understand all the things she'd done to both unmask A and then to finally put an end to her sister's rampage of terror. To this day, Emily and her former friends were still in the dark about everything Courtney had done and what Alison had to do to stop her. There were only three people who knew the truth of everything. Cece, Jason and Megan. Her brother and Cece would protect her with their last breath, she had no doubt, and Megan was legally bound to keep her confidence. But there was always still a gnawing in her gut, one that compelled her to want to seek out and confess her sins to the girl she still loved. To share the deepest part of her soul to the one person who still held every part of her heart. But today that gnawing quickly morphed into desire at the taste of Emily's lips and the feel of her tall lithe body against her.

Alison gripped Emily's sides and tugged her closer as her tongue brushed along the seam of her lips requesting entrance. The brunette tasted even sweeter than she remembered. Alison felt lightheaded as the scent of her mermaid filled her nostrils, surrounding her and consuming her, causing her to whimper in response.

Emily gasped softly and her mouth opened, allowing Alison to slip her tongue inside. The tip brushed against Emily's and the brunette felt the sensation all the way down to her toes. She surged forward and pushed Alison against the desk, deepening the kiss and reveling in the sweet taste of the blonde on her tongue. Instinct and six years of longing took over and one hand slid up Alison's back and into her hair. Emily gripped the silky strands and tugged Alison's head back as their lips met in a slew of desperate and messy kisses.

Alison grunted when her back hit the edge of the desk and her fingers pressed deeper into the base of Emily's spine. She didn't fight when Emily tugged her head back, only surrendered willingly; finally, exactly, right where she wanted to be. Her sprained hand ached as she held on to the brunette as tight as she could, but she never wanted to let go. She arched her back and pressed harder against Emily when she felt Emily's arm pull her closer, feeling the brunette's body shudder against her.

For a very brief second, the thought of pushing Alison onto that large wooden desk and stripping her naked sped through Emily's mind. And in that brief second, Emily started leaning over the blonde, guiding her backward. But reality slammed into her almost as quickly and her mind cleared as memories of another night long ago flooded her mind. Disgust and guilt flooded her body and she pushed away from Alison.

"What the hell are you doing, Alison?" she gasped as she deliberately stepped back needing to put even more distance between them.

Alison shook her head as she fought to clear it. She was lightheaded and dizzy and tingling all over.

"I might have started it but you're the one who just tried to devour me whole," the blonde panted as she lifted her fingers to her swollen lips. "I'd apologize but it would be a lie," Alison said her breathing ragged and her blue eyes stormy and dark. "And I try not to do that anymore."

"This isn't why I came here," Emily panted, her breathing just as ragged as Alison's. The loss of the blonde's lips and body against hers left Emily feeling momentarily bereft. She really needed to get out of here before she did something she regretted.

"Obviously," Alison said drolly as she pushed herself away from her desk and stood on shaky legs.

"I have a girlfriend," Emily said almost as if to remind herself.

Alison made a scoffing sound in the back of her throat. "That didn't matter six years ago."

She shouldn't have said the words but they just slipped out before she could stop them.

Emily looked at Alison like she had been slapped and she crossed her arms defensively. "Oh is that how you want to do this? You lash out at me and hope I'll get so angry and hurt that I storm away and you get out of having to give me answers?"

Alison knew she should apologize but instead she lashed out. "Will it work?"

"No," Emily replied as she finally caught her breath. "I let my anger get the best of me that night in your living room but I'm not going to do it now. I want answers Alison. I deserve them."

Alison shook her head in frustration. "I can't do this with you Emily."

"You don't have a choice," Emily insisted. "You owe me some answers." Alison looked at her defiantly and it only made Emily more determined to get the answers she sought. "After you answer my questions, I'll walk out of here and you never have to see me again but I'm not leaving until you tell me what I want to know."

Alison grunted under her breath and closed her eyes. Emily took this as acquiescence and she took a deep breath before she asked. "Why did you leave me?"

"I told you already," Alison said as she opened her eyes and looked at the woman in front of her. Even when she was frustrated beyond belief with Emily, Alison still craved the sight of her.

"It wasn't a good enough answer," Emily replied echoing the words she said to Alison all those years ago in the theater in New York.

Alison dropped down into the chair beside her. "I didn't leave you, Em. I left Rosewood."

"Same thing," Emily snapped as sat in the chair opposite Alison.

"No it's not," Alison insisted tiredly. She had a feeling this conversation wasn't going to be short unless one of them got fed up and stormed out and she was already exhausted by it.

"You knew leaving like that would break me." Emily voice reflected the hurt she still felt even after all this time. "And you did it anyway."

"I did it for you."

"You did it for you!"

"Okay, fine. Yes, I did it for me," Alison conceded. "But I did it for you too. I would have ruined us both if I'd stayed."

Emily's body sagged as she sat back. She always thought that hearing Alison admit she had selfishly abandoned her would make her feel better. But it didn't.

"Em," Alison said softly now determined to give Emily the honesty she sought even though she didn't want to go into details. "I don't do apologies well. I never have. But there is nothing in my life I'm sorrier for than all the times I hurt you."

"Thank you," Emily said because she finally believed Alison's words, but they still weren't enough. "But that doesn't really answer my question why?"

"I don't know what you want me to say," Alison snapped losing her temper again. Why couldn't the brunette just take her apology and move on?

Emily looked at her expectantly and it almost made Alison laugh because her mermaid was just as stubborn as she was. It looked like she wasn't going to get out of it after all so she finally replied.

"I could barely stand look at myself in the mirror after that night, never mind look in all your faces, knowing what Courtney did to all of you."

Emily's brow furrowed and Alison ached to smooth it out with her fingertips.

"Why didn't you ever tell me about Courtney?" Emily asked.

Alison looked startled for a minute by the question. "Because I thought she was dead," she finally said slowly.

"I can't believe your parents lied to you about that. How could they?"

"That's something I'll never know the answer to now," Alison replied flatly and it made Emily ache for her.

"When I woke up in the hospital after the fire, it was like living it all over again," Alison continued deciding it took too much energy to keep hiding from Emily. This was her chance to be honest and she was going to take it. "The last time I woke up in a hospital like that I was five, when Courtney stabbed me. That's why I hated them. I would never go near them after that."

"I remember freshman year when you cut your knee open in gym," Emily said as the memory of an afternoon long ago came back to her. "The nurse wanted to take you but you refused to go. Then your mom showed up at the nurse's office with a doctor in tow to stitch it up."

Alison reached down and absently rubbed her fingers over the scar on her kneecap.

"She knew I wouldn't go. The time I visited Hanna, after Mona ran her down, was the first time I was in a hospital since the day I was released. I felt like I was going to hyperventilate every second I was there but I had to make sure Hanna was okay."

Emily could see the truth in Alison's eyes as she spoke. "What happened with Courtney, Alison? Why did she stab you?"

"Because she was a psycho," Alison replied quickly as if that was the only explanation that was needed. But the arch in Emily's brow told Alison even though she agreed, that, too, wasn't a good enough answer.

"She was jealous I guess, at least from what I know now. I asked my mom and dad why she did it to me and my mom told me she was sick." Emily could see the emptiness in Alison's eyes as she spoke, one that spoke of a five year old girl's loss and pain and confusion. "Then I asked where she was and my dad said she had died from her sickness. I felt so hollow, like a piece of me was gone. I had so many questions but they refused to answer."

Alison shifted in her chair uncomfortably. Talking about Courtney made her skin crawl and she usually only talked about her to Megan. But now that she'd started, she knew she had to finish. "They took every evidence of her existence and locked it away and we were all forbade to ever mention her again."

"Why didn't anyone in Rosewood know about Courtney?"

"We didn't move to Rosewood until a couple of years later."

"Then how did your mom and Spencer's dad have an affair that resulted in Jason?" Emily asked confused by the timing.

"Because our parents were friends from college. After Jason was born and Spencer's mom found out about the affair, they stopped being friends. When we moved to Rosewood I think my mom deliberately bought the house next to them just to torture Victoria."

"How did your dad not know about Jason?"

Alison shrugged. "I think he did but he looked the other way. Either that or he was a masochist. He wasn't the man I always thought he was so who knows how much any of them knew," she added as an afterthought.

"What Courtney did to you was horrifying, Ali," Emily said getting back on topic. Her use of Alison's shortened name made the blonde's heart flutter in her chest despite the knot lodged there from talking about her sister. "But that wasn't fair of your parents. She was your twin. There's a connection between twins, isn't there?"

"Yes," Alison replied. "And I can't believe I didn't just _know_ she was still alive. But that's why I was always so angry and defiant. I never forgave either one of them for erasing her. But now I know why they did it."

Emily leaned forward eager to hear more now that Alison was willingly talking.

"When did you figure out she was alive and she was A?"

Alison sighed and started twisting her hands together. "Emily I really don't want to relive this. I don't know why you would either."

"I don't want to relive it," Emily replied wanting to reach out and stop Alison from fidgeting, but she held back. "I just want to understand, Ali. Every answer we got that night in the church just produced more questions."

"What makes you think I have them?"

"Because you always had more answers than all the rest of us combined."

Alison sighed again and stood up. She started pacing beside the chairs and Emily sat back and watched her. She felt bad insisting Alison relive all of this but the brunette's need for closure overrode it. And in order for her to have closure she needed more answers.

"There were little things that made me suspect," Alison said as she expelled a short breath. "Things that were off and not quite right; others that were eerily familiar and reminiscent of my childhood. I think by the time I finally figured it out, she had decided she was ready for me to know anyway. I confided in Gabe when he came to my house to let me know I passed my polygraph test," Alison continued referring to Holbrook by his first name. It made Emily cringe a little. "I had no one else I dared tell so I told him."

"You could have told me," Emily said as she looked up at Alison who had come to a stop almost right in front of her.

"You had made it pretty clear you didn't want anything to do with me by that point," Alison's tone was accusatory though that wasn't her intention. But it still hurt to remember what she still viewed as Emily's abandonment.

Emily frowned because she couldn't dispute Alison's words. She had turned her back on the blonde like all of their friends. Looking back, after all these years, she knew she owed the blonde an apology of her own.

"He's a cop, Alison," she said instead, focusing on how Holbrook's actions contributed to what happened that night. "He had a responsibility to report that information to his colleagues even if you asked him to keep it confidential. He put all of us in danger, but especially you, by keeping that secret."

Alison didn't disagree because Emily was right, but Alison had always been pretty persuasive. It was both her blessing and her curse.

"At first he didn't believe me." She sat back down in the chair. "But once I showed him all the evidence, he agreed that no one else should know. He realized and understood the danger when I told him what happened the night my mom buried me alive, which is pretty much how I figured out it was Courtney. So he and I came up with a plan to trick Courtney into thinking I wasn't on to her so we could hopefully flush her out. I should have known better than to try to trick her. You'd think I would have learned my lesson but I can be pretty stubborn sometimes."

Emily shot her a look and Alison bit back the scathing remark that settled on her tongue. She didn't want to fight with Emily.

"I remember her saying she knew what the two of you were up to."

Alison nodded. "Yeah and that obviously made her desperate and she decided it was time to end the game in a dramatically explosive way."

"I never had a chance to tell you how sorry I was about your dad," Emily said sincerely albeit hesitantly.

Alison inhaled a quick breath and Emily saw her eyes darken and cloud over.

The blonde felt a crushing weight in her chest which always appeared when she thought about her father from that night; and how his very last thought was probably how Alison had turned on him. She still carried very conflicting feelings about her parents and what they'd done to both her and Courtney. Clearly Courtney was sick but with Megan's help Alison realized that her parents essentially abandoning her in a mental institution had driven her twin to retaliate in the violent way she had.

Alison and Megan had worked hard to help her deal with her responses to the memory of that night. Megan said she suffered from PTSD, post traumatic stress disorder, which stemmed not only from the events of that night, but going all the way back to Courtney stabbing her since her parents never allowed her counseling after it happened. Couple that with her mother burying her alive and all the torture she endured at Courtney's hands afterward, Alison often wondered how she wasn't in an institution herself.

"Thank you," Alison choked out the only words she could.

"I wanted to be there for you, Ali, after all of it," Emily said honestly. "I wish you had let me."

"I wish I had been able to let you," Alison confessed quietly.

"The whole town wondered what happened to you and Jason. They waited for an announcement of a memorial service or burial but then you and Jason just left. The paper reported that your dad and Courtney's bodies were transferred from the morgue via a private transport company but that was it."

Alison felt her hands begin to shake, so she stood up and moved behind her desk before sitting down again, trying to hide it from Emily.

"There wasn't much left of either of their bodies," Alison admitted with a look a disgust. She had never seen the final remains, just went by what Cece had told her. "Jason just wanted to bury them both and be done with it but he gave in to my insistence that we take them with us. We had my mother's body dug up and we had all of them, including my grandma who passed away a few months later, cremated and their ashes dropped in the ocean off the coast of Georgia."

"Spencer mentioned that your mom's body was moved, but she didn't know where."

"Spencer is always too fucking nosy," Alison scoffed.

"Did you-" Emily started but then stopped. She almost asked Alison if she was aware that the others knew where she was, but decided that wasn't worth getting into. Hanna had said both Jason and Spencer made the decision to not tell either of them so Alison was probably as unaware as she was. It wasn't worth dredging up now.

"Did I what?" Alison asked.

"Nothing," Emily said as she shook her head and then she jumped into her next question to keep Alison from insisting she answer. "Alison, why did you let me look for you all that time? For _years _looking for you was all that mattered to me. If you no longer wanted me all you had to do was tell me."

"I never stopped wanting you," Alison said fiercely and it stunned Emily.

"Then why did you let me suffer like that?" Again Emily's voice was laced with hurt she obviously still felt.

"I kept thinking you'd give up," Alison replied truthfully. "And eventually you did," she added as that knowledge once again left a cramp in her stomach.

"Because I couldn't keep putting my life on hold," Emily replied with exasperation. "No one understood why I had to do it. My parents were so angry with me for postponing my enrollment to Danby just so I could look for you."

"You got into Danby?" Alison asked but there wasn't much surprise in her voice.

"Yeah," Emily nodded.

"Did you get a scholarship for swimming?" The right side of Alison's lips curled up as she fought back a smile. Of course her mermaid would get a swimming scholarship.

"No, my competitive swimming was over in high school," Emily replied and she didn't need to elaborate for Alison to know it was because of what Courtney had done to her. And Alison's half smiled turned into a frown.

She knew Emily didn't attend Danby because she was searching for her, but Emily still deserved the scholarship because she truly was more graceful in the water than a mermaid.

"Do you still swim?" Alison asked softly.

"Sometimes," Emily shrugged. "I still love it but my shoulder can only take so much so I run and bike more than anything now."

"Em, I'm sor-" Alison started because she couldn't hold back the words any longer.

"It's not your fault, Ali," Emily interrupted her. "Nothing Courtney did was your fault. She was sick and no matter what other things you did or lies you told, what she did and who she hurt is completely on her. I don't care if you were twins, Ali; you are nothing like her at all."

Alison's heart throbbed at Emily's fervent words but she still shook her head. "You don't know that Emily."

"Yes, I do," Emily insisted and her tone broached no room for argument.

"You always tried to see the best in me. Even when I was a horrible and cruel bitch," Alison said ruefully. "I carried around so much resentment and sorrow inside me. So much fear. And even when it manifested itself as the nasty person I turned into, you still tried to see past that." Alison's eyes softened as she looked at the brunette. "I loved you so much for that. You're the only one who wanted to see anything different than what I projected to the world."

Emily was impressed by how sincere and honest Alison was being but she tried not to focus on the fact that Alison said she loved her. But it was all she could think of. "I always knew there was good in you, Alison. That's why it hurt so much when you acted cruelly."

"You were the only one I let in. I hoped you would see what was underneath." Alison shrugged. "Cece saw through my bitch persona too but it was different. She liked the bitch and even tried to cultivate that side of me in some ways. She wasn't a very good influence."

"You and she are still friends though," Emily said trying to understand.

"She's my best friend," Alison admitted. "It's hard to explain Cece. When I first met her, she became like the sister I lost. She was older and I looked up to her and she looked out for me even after she and Jason broke up. My parents didn't like her, especially my mom, but she didn't try to change me. She accepted me exactly as I was."

"I accepted you the way you were. Even when you hurt me."

"I know, but you were different." Alison smiled sadly. "I never had any feelings other than friendship and sisterly affection for Cece. When I started having feelings for you, more than friendship, I ran to her and told her. She didn't look at me with disgust or like I was crazy for having feelings for a girl. She introduced me around to some of her friends and that's when I went really wild." Alison's smile turned wry. "She fostered that and even she admits now that she didn't do what was in my best interest back then, but we were all young and kinda stupid. Hindsight is twenty-twenty."

"So why are you still friends then?" Emily asked curiously.

"Because she's my only real friend," Alison said truthfully. "She was there for me after all of that. I wouldn't be here if it wasn't for her and Jason. She picked me up and dusted me off and told me to get my shit together. She doesn't sugar coat things and I need that in my life. She knows when to coddle me and when to kick my ass and I love her desperately for it."

"I would have been there for you." Emily's voice was soft and Alison could still hear the hurt her rejection caused the beautiful brunette.

"Em, you have no idea what I was like. You would have been terrified of me. _I_ was terrified of me. And I'd hurt you so much already. I knew leaving you would hurt but it would be like a band aid you tear off. The jolt of it brings tears to your eyes but the pain fades quickly afterward."

"My pain did _not_ fade quickly," Emily said as anger surged through her again. "I loved you Alison and you told me you loved me. How can you just abandon someone you supposedly love? I don't understand that."

"I would have hurt you so much worse if I had let you watch me drown in the guilt and remorse and the loss I was feeling," Alison said with exasperation. "I know you won't ever fully understand, Em, but this is the God's honest truth," Alison emphasized each of her next words so Emily would have no doubt. "It was _because_ of how much I loved you that I had to go. I couldn't bear to look you in the eye after everything I'd done."

"Alison, I told you, you didn't do anything," Emily said getting frustrated with the blonde again. She didn't want to after the genuine conversation they just shared but she couldn't help it. "That was Courtney," she insisted.

"You don't have any idea what I'm capable of, Emily," Alison replied with frustration of her own. She did not want to go here with Emily but the brunette was giving her no choice. "You may have known me better than the others but I never really let you see all of me. Not the _real_ me."

"Well let me see the real you now," Emily demanded. "Why are you still hiding from me Alison?"

"Because I doubt very much you'll like what you see," Alison spat.

"We'll never know if you don't let me," Emily said not willing to be deterred.

"Why can't you just let this go?" Alison shouted as she stood up again.

"Because I need closure Alison," Emily shouted right back and stood as Alison took a step closer to her.

Alison didn't like that word when it came from Emily. Closure meant there would never be any chance for them. And as much as she insisted to herself and Cece and Jason, and even Emily, Alison would never give up hope that one day she and the brunette would have a chance.

Alison let the desperation of that thought take hold and as she often did, she lashed out.

"You want closure, Emily? Do you really want to know who the person you used to love really was?" Alison taunted. "Are you sure because there is no going back once you do?"

"The real you doesn't scare me Alison," Emily scoffed. "You're just trying avoid being completely honest with me."

Alison let out a frustrated screech before she looked at Emily unflinchingly. "Do you think I went back into that church to check Courtney's pulse, Em? Are you really that naïve?"

Before Emily could reply, Tim poked his head around the wall, clearly having heard the arguing from the other side of the studio. "Uh… is everything alright back here?"

"Go the fuck home, Tim," Alison barked as she glared at him.

His eyes opened wide and he pulled his head back. Emily heard him scurrying across the studio floor and then heard the front door open and then slam behind him. It broke the tension for a moment and Emily couldn't hold back her chuckle.

"I think you scared the pants off him."

"He's used to it," Alison said sharply and it brought Emily back to the moment as Alison's last words to her hung in the air around them.

"What are you telling me, Alison? What happened when you went back in the church?"

Alison narrowed her eyes but she braced herself for Emily's reaction.

"I went back there to make sure she was dead. There was no way I was taking the chance that she would slip out of there." Alison hesitated for a moment before she continued. "So I went back down and hit her three more times with that wrench."

Emily tried to mask her shock but she could tell from Alison's look that she didn't. She said the only thing she could think of at the moment. "That was self defense, Ali."

"Please, Em, don't kid yourself," Alison scoffed as she rolled her eyes. "It wasn't self defense. She was still unconscious when I hit her but there was no way I was going to let her hurt any of you again. Hurt me again." The last three words came out as an almost choked sob as she looked away.

"It was self preservation then." Emily's voice was quiet and firm.

"Why are you making excuses for me?" Alison's eyes whipped back to Emily and they were blazing.

"Why are you trying to vilify yourself?" Emily shot back knowing exactly where Alison thought process was going.

"I killed her Emily. Don't you get that? I killed my own sister."

"And she killed both your parents and would have killed all of us."

"That's not the point." Alison threw her arms up in the air. Emily was not reacting the way she expected.

"How do you know she wasn't already dead?"

Alison's entire body tightened and she clenched her fists as she spoke deliberately. "I didn't check her pulse to see, Emily. If she was already dead I didn't care. But if there was any chance she wasn't, I was going to make sure she was."

"If you're waiting for me to judge you, it's not going to happen."

"You just don't get it."

"Actually yes I do. I've killed someone too, Alison," Emily said softer now, referring to Nate.

Alison's loosened her fists because her hand was now aching. "What you did, Em, _was_ self defense. What I did wasn't."

"I'm not going to judge you for that Ali. You suffered at Courtney's hands in ways that none of us did, that none of us could ever really comprehend." Emily reached out and took Alison's uninjured hand in hers because she felt the blonde needed her touch as much as Emily felt the sudden need to give it. "And if I'm honest I don't blame you for leaving Rosewood. I would have too. I just wish you hadn't left me. Or told me where you were going. If you needed space, Alison, I would have given it to you, but I also would have followed you anywhere."

"I know," Alison said as she squeezed Emily's fingers briefly before she pulled her hand away. Emily's touch, although desperately wanted and appreciated, just made Alison ache more for the girl who wasn't hers. "That's why I couldn't tell you."

Emily stepped back because she could sense Alison wanted space.

"Have you ever been back to Rosewood?" Alison hesitated so Emily knew the answer. "I haven't," the brunette confessed. "Not even once since I left. My mom moved to Texas to be with my dad and they sold the house. Spencer told me your old house burned down about six months later."

"They couldn't prove it was arson," Alison murmured casually although she was a little bewildered Emily had moved past her confession so quickly.

"You sound like you think it was," Emily said hesitantly.

Alison looked at the woman in front of her, debating, before she finally answered. "I know it was because I did it."

Emily didn't look surprised this time. "Why?"

"Because no one should grow up in that house. There were too many secrets and lies and deception and death there. Those kinds of things live in the walls and taint anyone who comes inside."

"So you torched it?" Emily almost sounded impressed.

"Yes," Alison answered matter-of-factly. "I set that thing on fire and I watched it burn."

"Spencer's house could have caught on fire too, you know." Emily didn't say the words as a reprimand but Alison took them that way. "Those woods between your houses went up too."

"I know," the blonde shrugged. "I turned the sprinklers at the edge of the yard on full blast so that ground was wet. That's what held it back."

"Did it give you closure you needed?"

There Emily went using that word again. Alison was really beginning to hate that word.

"Yes. I burned it to the ground, collected the insurance money and then I sold the land back to the town. I heard they built some kind of neighborhood dog park on it. I don't think the Hastings appreciated it." Alison smirked despite herself. "But the money came in handy."

"They sold their house a few years ago and moved to Boston when Spencer's parents got back together."

"Hmm," Alison murmured not really sure what else to say.

"Do you think this is going to change how I feel about you?"

"I don't know how you feel about me, Em, although I suspect."

"I don't know if you do," Emily murmured although she didn't mean to say it out loud.

"I always wanted to be a better person for you. But all I've ever done is fail at that."

"All you ever had to do was be yourself, Alison. All I ever wanted was you, exactly as you were."

"Past tense being the key here," Alison said peevishly.

Emily didn't dare contradict her because she feared where that may take them so instead she asked the last question she needed answered.

"Why did you change your last name?"

Alison opened her mouth the reply but then her phone rang. She wasn't sure if she was relieved or pissed. She grabbed it off her desk and lifted it to her ear.

"Hey, Nicole, what's up?"

Emily watched Alison's face as she spoke to the person on the phone. She recognized the name as the same person who called that day at the skate park.

"Again?" Alison was silent for a moment. "I thought we'd settled this." Another pause. "Gabe was supposed to handle that."

Gabe? What did Holbrook have to do with this person on the phone? Alison lifted her injured hand and scratched the side of her nose, reminding Emily of one more question she still had.

"Tell her I'll be there in a little bit," Alison said before she hung up the phone and tossed it onto the desk with a small sigh.

"Is everything alright?"

Alison nodded but Emily could see she was distracted now.

"What's going on with you and Holbrook?"

Alison looked genuinely surprised. "Why would you ask me that?"

"I saw you with him." When Alison's brow furrowed Emily continued. "That day in Venice. I saw you talking to him at a restaurant on the boardwalk. Is he the one that hurt you?" Emily asked as she motioned to Alison's hand.

Alison shook her head. "No. This was an accident."

"I overheard Cece and you talking when I arrived," Emily confessed. "I heard her say 'it's always an accident.' What did she mean?"

"It's not polite to eavesdrop, Em" Alison said amusingly. "What would Pam think?"

"I wasn't eavesdropping." Emily defended. "You and Cece weren't exactly being quiet."

"Do you realize that the last actual conversation we had was a fight about him?"

Emily frowned as she was again reminded of that night in Alison's house.

"How is he even still in your life?" Emily asked trying and failing to not feel resentful that she'd been without Alison for over six years and Holbrook hadn't.

"It's a long story and I have somewhere I have to go now." Alison opened the desk drawer and pulled her purse out.

"You never answered my question about your name either," Emily reminded as she watched Alison slip her cell phone into her purse and then shut down her computer.

Alison debated for about all of two seconds before she turned to face Emily and blurted out.

"If you want to come with me, it will answer both of your questions."

##################

The relatively short drive to their destination was quiet. Both women were reeling a little from their conversation. Emily from everything Alison had told her. The way the blonde opened up to her after their initial screaming match and the honesty Alison gave her was gift Emily never expected. She expected Alison to keep pushing her away. But by the time the blonde's cell phone rang, Emily had many of the answers she'd been seeking. Not all of them were satisfactory and there were still more she wanted so when Alison invited her along on her errand she couldn't say no.

Alison was reeling because she couldn't believe how effortless it was once she opened up to Emily. The brunette had always been easy to talk to so she shouldn't have been surprised. Emily was the one person who always made her feel safe enough to be herself even though she always held something back.

Alison had worked hard to build a life without Emily, believing that she would never have another chance with her. Like the brunette she'd resigned herself to never being with the one person she knew she'd always love. But here she was bringing Emily with her, showing her what she had done with her life to try to atone for her past sins.

And she was terrified.

Not terrified Emily wouldn't understand or would judge her. But terrified that the girl she still loved would see that she was getting along just fine without her and walk out of her life again, this time forever.

And it only took the past hour of fighting and confiding and confessing to the brunette for Alison to know she wouldn't survive letting Emily go again.

So, clearly, she was thoroughly fucked.

Alison brought the car to a stop and shut off the engine. "We're here," she said almost hesitantly.

Emily looked to her right and saw a large three story house, almost Victorian in design. There was a two car garage at the end of a long driveway and a large stone wall that surrounded the perimeter.

A sign sat in the center of the front lawn.

"Fields House?" she asked as she looked back over at Alison.

"It's a home for runaway teens. Mostly girls but we don't turn anyone away so we have two boys right now too."

"This is what you spent the insurance money on," Emily said rather than asked because she already knew the answer.

Alison nodded.

"Why?" Emily asked unable to look away from the sign with her last name on it. Her and now Alison's last name.

"I spent two years alone on the streets, Em," Alison replied. "I was smart and resourceful so I survived. But over five thousand runaways die each year, although that statistic is probably low."

Emily dragged her eyes away from the sign and looked at Alison again.

"This is a place they can come and get off the streets. We get them counseling and depending on their age we help them get jobs or get back into school. We give kids who are at their lowest or who are running from dangerous situations a safe place."

"But why Fields House?"

"The same reason I changed my last name." Alison took a deep breath before she continued. "You are the one good thing I ever had in my life, the only person I felt safe with so it seemed fitting. Walking away from you nearly destroyed me but taking your name and putting it on the foundation was my way of keeping you with me."

Emily was speechless so Alison kept going. She needed Emily to know everything now.

"I had to change my last name, Em. What happened with Courtney made national news. I got fed up with the reactions when people heard my last name and then figured out who I was. I considered taking my mom's maiden name, that's what Jason did, but it didn't feel right." Alison paused for a second. "Fields felt right."

"I don't know what to say." Alison smiled at the dumfounded look on the brunette's face. She didn't take her confusion as an insult, just a reaction to information overload. Alison had laid a lot on her today.

"I can't say I'm completely surprised," Emily added as the look in her eyes softened. "Because I knew you had this in you. But this is a side of you that I've never seen, Ali."

Alison flushed with happiness at Emily's words. She didn't need validation from Emily that what she was doing was right, but it felt so fucking good to know Emily wasn't shocked that she was capable of it.

"Well let me show you then. You want to see inside?"

Emily nodded her head silently, overwhelmed with the woman in front of her. She watched Alison exit the car and walk around to step on the sidewalk. Emily opened her door and stepped out beside her.

Alison reached for Emily's hand and entwined their fingers. She ignored how Emily's body froze momentarily and waited for her to relax, finally feeling Emily's fingers squeeze her own gently.

That's when Alison smiled.

"Welcome to Field's House, Em."

################

The second Alison walked in the door, the chaos started. A young girl, who couldn't have been more than thirteen came bounding down the stairs and hurled herself at the blonde.

"Alison," she squealed as she hugged the woman around the waist. "I thought you weren't coming back until tomorrow."

Alison stumbled slightly but she didn't scold the girl, which Emily almost expected. Two large dogs, a yellow lab and a german shepherd came scurrying into the room from around the wall barking and jumping excitedly.

Emily took in the sight in front of her, watching Alison laugh as the dogs bumped into and tried to jump on the petite blonde.

"Hi Ruby," Alison greeted the young girl before she looked down at the two dogs vying for her attention. "Hi Frankie. Hi Johnny," she said as she scratched their heads.

"Hey Alison," two girls called from the living room on the right where they were doing what looked like homework on the coffee table in front of the sofa.

Emily noticed a guy who reminded her of a line backer standing in the far corner of the large foyer watching the scene in front of him stoically, unfazed by all the commotion Alison caused with her arrival. But everyone else was clearly very excited to see Alison and Emily felt a lump form in her throat.

Who was the woman standing in front of her?

"Where's Pepe?" Ruby asked as she looked around Alison. Emily smiled at her and she stepped back with a nervous look on her face.

"That isn't the lady from social services is it?"

"No," Alison replied as she squeezed the girl's shoulder. "She doesn't come until Monday."

"Oh," Ruby said clearly relieved.

"And I came here from work so Pepe isn't with me. I'll bring him by this weekend."

The german shepherd whimpered a little at the sound of Pepe's name and Emily wondered if the dog was a girl.

"Who's this?" Ruby asked and Alison smiled at the petulant tone of her voice. The girl liked to monopolize Alison's time when she was at the house and Alison usually came alone so Ruby clearly wasn't happy about the unwanted visitor.

"This is Emily," Alison said as she looked over at the brunette.

"Hi Ruby," Emily said as she smiled.

"Oh, good, you're here," came a woman's voice from the large dining room on the left before Ruby could reply. Though Alison suspected she might not have answered anyway.

Emily looked over and saw a woman, close to six feet tall, walking up to them. She had long dark curly hair and looked to be in her thirties. "You just missed Gabe. He said he'll call you later. Oh, hello," she said noticing Emily standing in front of the door.

"Nicole, this is Emily," Alison introduced. "Em, this is Nicole."

Nicole's eyes met Alison's briefly and Emily wondered if the woman knew who she was.

"Hi Emily, nice to meet you," she greeted as she held out her hand.

"Nice to meet you," Emily replied as she took the woman's hand in her own.

"Nicole runs the house," Alison said as she stumbled slightly as the yellow lab tried to jump on her again.

"Ruby, take those dogs out back please, they're driving me bonkers," Nicole said and Ruby looked over at Alison.

"It's alright. I won't leave until I come see you."

"Okay," Ruby said reluctantly as she tugged on the dog's collars and led them back through the dining room and into the kitchen.

"Is she still here?" Alison asked Nicole who nodded her head.

"She's upstairs in her room."

"Em, I'll be right back. I just have to talk to one of the girls."

"Don't worry about Emily. I'll keep her occupied," Nicole said as she shooed Alison away before slipping her hand into Emily's arm and leading the still out of sorts' brunette toward the kitchen.

Emily looked briefly over her shoulder as she reached the entrance of the kitchen and she could see Alison scowling as she walked up the wide staircase to the second floor.

"Do you want some coffee?" Nicole asked as she released Emily's arm and walked over to the counter.

The kitchen was large and bright and spanned the entire length of the back of the house. It was modern with a double farm sink in front of the bay window that overlooked the backyard. It had an eight burner gas stove, three ovens, an island in the middle with a breakfast bar, and a large rectangular table that took up the entire right side of the room. It had enough chairs to seat at least a two dozen people around it.

"Sure, thanks," Emily replied a little overwhelmed.

"Have a seat. She may be a little while. Melanie isn't the easiest girl to get through to."

Emily took a seat at the breakfast bar and accepted the coffee cup Nicole handed to her.

"It's nice to finally meet you Emily. I've heard a lot about you over the years."

Why did Emily find that surprising? Alison wasn't the type to confide in people she wasn't close to so just how close were she and Alison?

"I'm not sure how to reply to that," Emily answered honestly.

"You don't have to say anything. Why don't you let me tell you a little about this place instead?"

Emily nodded as she sipped her coffee, relieved she wasn't going to have to keep the conversation going.

"I met Alison a little over three years ago. A mutual _friend_ introduced us." The way Nicole said it made Emily wonder exactly what kind of friend it was, especially since Alison had told her earlier that she didn't have many friends.

"Alison had just bought this house," Nicole continued. "And wanted to turn it into a shelter for runaways but she needed someone who had worked with troubled kids and had resources and connections with social services and the juvenile courts." Nicole poured herself a cup of coffee and walked over to stand on the other side of the island. "I'd been a teen counselor for the state for about a decade. When she told me what she wanted to do, and why, there was no way I could say no. I quit my job the next day."

"What exactly do you do here?"

"We provide a safe haven for female teen runaways mostly under the age of eighteen," she replied, her explanation matching the one Alison gave her out front. "We give them a place to stay until we can get them home safely or into a foster home if they can't go back to their own home."

Emily was very intrigued. "Don't you have to turn minors over to social services?"

"We work with social services. We try to get most of the girls, who aren't in dangerous situations or who haven't been kicked out, to go home. We offer counseling or connect them with someone where they live because we see girls who come from all over the country here. Loads of runaways end up in Southern California because it's warm here most of the year."

Emily nodded as she listened raptly.

"But for those who came from unsafe homes or are running from dangerous situations, social services let us keep them here until we can find the right home for them. The foster system is very flawed and there are more people than you think who only take in kids for the money. It's not going to help anyone to send a kid to a situation that is really no better than they came from. The kid is just going to run away again."

"How many girls do you have here?"

"Technically our bed capacity is twenty two but we don't ever turn anyone away. If we don't have a bed, we put them on the sofa or a blow up mattress on the floor until we can get them into another shelter."

"Ruby is very young," Emily observed at she noticed the girl out the window playing fetch with the two dogs in the backyard.

Nicole glanced over and then looked back at Emily. "She's our youngest. She'd been living on the street for almost a year by the time we found out about her. Alison drove almost six hours to Modesto to get her when we got the call from a shelter up there that was filled to capacity."

"Oh my god," Emily gasped softly.

"Between one point six and two point eight million kids run away each year and fifty percent of them are female. Surviving on the street for any child is hard but it's worse for girls. They're preyed upon in ways boys often are not."

Emily felt bile rise in her throat at the implications Nicole was making.

"We have girls from all walks of life here. Girls who are running from family or boyfriends or stalkers. We specialize in those kinds of girls because the system doesn't know what to do with them. You can't put them in traditional foster homes or shelters because you put the other kids there in danger too."

"How do you keep them safe?"

"We have very high tech security here." Nicole motioned to the security cameras in the corner of the room. "As well as round the clock body guards as you might have noticed Bruno in the entryway. More than half our budget goes to security, but Alison insists on it.

"Does Alison pay for all of this?" she asked curiously.

"No," Alison said from the doorway as she stepped into the room shaking her head. "I don't have that kind of money. I used all of my half of the insurance money, the money from the sale of the land in Rosewood, my parent's house in Cape May and my nana's house in Georgia just to buy and renovate the house and get it up and running."

"That money lasted us about six months, if I remember right," Nicole chimed in as she walked to the other counter to pour Alison a cup of coffee. "But we're a non-profit so we rely on donations mostly although the state does provide some minimal funding. And we have a lot of volunteers. We wouldn't be able to do it without them."

Alison took the seat next to Emily and accepted the cup of coffee from Nicole.

"Thanks," she replied before she took a sip.

"And when we start to run low on funds, Alison just throws another fundraiser." Nicole smiled knowingly. "She's like a magician getting people to open their checkbooks. By the time she's done working the room, people are begging us to take their money."

"I have no doubt," Emily murmured softly as she looked at the blonde beside her. She was in awe of what Alison had created. This was definitely a side of Alison that the blonde kept hidden when they were younger. And it was just more confirmation of what Emily had always known. Alison had the biggest and most beautiful heart of anyone she'd ever met.

"How did it go with Mel?" Nicole asked.

"She's so fucking stubborn," Alison growled under her breath. "I can't talk her out of leaving."

"It's probably for the best Alison," Nicole said seriously. "We can't have incidents like we did last weekend. It puts all the girls in danger."

"_She's_ in danger, Nic. He's going to find her no matter where she goes."

"What happened last weekend?" Emily asked although she suspected she knew the answer.

"She's running from her ex boyfriend who's twenty and a thug," Alison said her voice full of disgust. "He beat the shit out of her repeatedly and her parents didn't do anything to stop him. She's from Phoenix but he chased her all the way here."

"We've had two incidents with him since she got here a few months ago," Nicole added. "He's been arrested both times but he just keeps getting back out on the street and as soon as he does he comes after her again."

"Is that what happened to your hand?"

Alison shrugged as Nicole scoffed. "Alison sometimes lets her temper get the better of her rather than wait until the police arrive."

"I wasn't about to let him break the back door down."

"Where was the body guard?" Emily asked curiously.

"Distracted," Alison replied. "This dickhead got a buddy to cause a commotion in the front yard and then he snuck around and tried to get in the back."

"Now we have one in back and one in front at all times. It's a little overkill." Nicole shot Alison a look but the blonde ignored her. "Because he's still in jail. He's being held without bail this time until his trial."

"Or until they need the space at the prison," Alison added before asking Nicole. "Did you get the information about the place in Florida you think she should go?"

Emily could tell there was some tension between Alison and Nicole over this topic.

"Yes, Gabe gave it to me this afternoon. And I don't want her to go, Alison," Nicole maintained. "But it I think for everyone's safety, including hers, she needs to get as far from here as possible. It's less likely he'll find her on the east coast."

"I want to see it. And I want you to get Stan to do a thorough background check on everyone who works there."

"I've already called him."

"I won't send her somewhere I don't feel she's going to be safe."

"You should trust Gabe's recommendation."

Alison looked over at Emily. "Gabe works for the LAPD and he helps us with the security here. He's the one who hires and oversees the security team."

Well that answered Emily's last question of what was up with Alison and Holbrook.

"Are you going to stay for dinner?" Nicole asked as she walked to the ovens and set two of them to preheat. "The girls love it when you do. Mama Ana made lasagna before she left today. I just have to heat it up."

Nicole was just trying to tempt her because she knew how much Alison loved lasagna.

"I'm sure Emily has better things to do," Alison said as she looked at the brunette beside her out of the corner of her eye now. Emily loved lasagna, too, she remembered.

Emily knew she should get out of there. Her brain was on overload and she was feeling just too comfortable in Alison's presence all of a sudden, when not three hours ago she was screaming at the blonde and was ready to walk away from her for good.

But now she would do whatever it took to spend just a little more time with her.

"I don't have anywhere to be," Emily said and it wasn't exactly a lie because Marielle had already told her she would be working late and therefore wouldn't be home for dinner.

"Are you sure?" Alison asked but Emily could see the hope in her eyes. And even though she knew she should, Emily couldn't bring herself to say no.

"Lasagna sounds too good to pass up."

Alison wanted to squeal but she held it inside.

"I hear you're an amazing pastry chef," Nicole said as she walked over to the fridge and pulled out three large pans of lasagna.

Alison scowled at her because she really should learn to keep her big mouth shut.

"I do okay," Emily said as she held back a chuckle at the look on Alison's face.

"I was going to make chocolate cake for dessert," Nicole said as she took the aluminum foil off the pans and then slid them into the oven.

"Well chocolate just happens to be my specialty," Emily said as she stood up taking the subtle invitation Nicole had offered. "Why don't I see what I can whip up for you?"

"Awesome," Nicole said as she grinned. "I was going to have Katrina make the salad but do you want to do that Alison?"

Alison stood up like her chair was on fire and moved around the breakfast bar. "I promised Ruby I'd go find her. And the dogs probably need a walk too."

The blonde headed toward the back door as Nicole started to laugh. "Yeah that's what I figured."

#############

Two hours later Alison pulled up in front of her studio, parking her car behind Emily's at the curb. Dinner had been fun. Almost all the girls liked Emily, except Ruby, who was just jealous, and Erin. But Erin didn't tend to like anyone.

The lasagna as always was a hit, but Emily's chocolate cake with fresh warm strawberry compote was devoured by the over two dozen girls like it was the last food on earth.

Emily refused to use the boxed chocolate cake Nicole had in the cupboard and made Alison take her to Whole Foods around the corner to get _real chocolate_ and a few other _real dessert_ kinds of items. Alison teased her by calling her a food snob, but it was more than worth it. The cake was to die for.

"Thanks for coming with me," Alison said as she turned the ignition off. She still had to go back into the studio to grab a few files to take home with her.

"Thanks for taking me," Emily replied sincerely. "I mean it, Ali. You've done an amazing thing and it means a lot that you shared it with me."

Silence filled the car until Alison finally spoke up again.

"So where does this leave us, Em?"

"What do you mean?" Emily licked her suddenly dry lips.

Alison turned to face the brunette beside her. "You made it clear earlier that once you had your answers you were walking away for good."

"Ali I was angry. You don't have the monopoly on saying things you don't mean when you're angry."

"I'll never shake off my past, will I?" Alison scoffed as she looked away.

"You're misinterpreting everything I say today," Emily replied exasperated. She didn't want to ruin the near perfect time she and Alison had just spent by fighting with her.

Alison thought maybe Emily was right and so she forced herself to say the words this time as she looked back at the brunette. "I'm sorry for what I said about Courtney earlier. I didn't mean it. I still say a lot of things I don't always mean."

Emily stilled and she took a breath before she replied. "I still can't believe I didn't know it wasn't you. I will _forever_ regret that night."

"It wasn't your fault, Em," Alison said even as she blanched from the thought of Emily's hands and lips on her sister. "Courtney worked very hard to imitate me. She'd become an expert at it."

"I still should have known it wasn't you."

Alison agreed, but silently. She knew what it was like to carry regrets and she wasn't looking to make Emily feel guilty over something neither one of them could change.

When Alison didn't reply, Emily realized she was still waiting for an answer to her previous question.

"I don't know what all _this_ means," Emily said as she motioned between them. "All I know is I have a girlfriend, Alison. That's not going to change. Despite my actions that night with Courtney, I'm not a cheater."

Alison felt Emily's words like a knife in her chest.

"I'm not my sister. I'm not asking you to finger fuck me Em," Alison said harshly then instantly regretted her words. But her pride, again, held her back from apologizing.

And once again Emily felt like Alison punched her in the gut. In a matter of a few seconds, all of the perfection of the last several hours vanished with just a few harsh words. As tempted as she was to lash back at the blonde, Emily lost all her fight. "I didn't mean it like that," Emily replied. "I can't keep doing this with you Alison. After today I thought maybe we could try to be friends again but-"

"It's okay Em. I get it," Alison interrupted. "I lost the ability to only be friends with you a long time ago."

"I won't feel guilty for moving on Alison. Especially when you knew I was looking for you and you just let me."

"This is why I never wanted you to find me," Alison said more to herself than Emily as she looked away, not wanting the brunette to see the tears beginning to form in her eyes. She would _not_ let Emily see her cry. "You should just go."

Emily looked at Alison for a long moment before she got out of the car without another word. She felt numb, like she'd had Alison back for a few hours only to have her ripped away once again. She got into her car and pulled away from the curb, not daring to look in the rear view mirror.

Alison watched Emily get into her car and drive away, remaining in her seat for a long time, blinking her eyes and refusing to let her tears fall.

###########

Emily approached the front door of her apartment but hesitated before she went inside. Her head was still spinning from the last several hours. She'd thought that seeing Alison again had fucked with her mind and heart. But that was nothing compared to what she was feeling now after spending several uninterrupted hours with her.

The woman Alison turned into was exactly the person Emily had always known was there. A woman who, despite her aloof and callous exterior had one of the biggest hearts Emily had ever known. One who was brave and fierce despite all the pain and heartache she'd been through. One who was more selfless than selfish, even though she was almost loathe to let the world see it.

And Emily was again on a roller coaster of emotion. Just when she finally let the dream of Alison go, the blonde came waltzing back into her life and wreaked havoc with her heart once again.

It had been hours since Alison had kissed her and Emily could still feel Alison's lips against her own. She could still taste her on her tongue. The scent of her still invaded Emily's senses and made the brunette's stomach clench with need.

She feared all her conflicting feelings were showing on her face so she was hesitant to go inside her apartment. She didn't want Marielle to see her this way. But it was time Marielle knew the truth. The truth Emily should have told her two months ago when she first saw Alison.

Finally after several minutes of deep cleansing breaths, Emily entered the apartment to find her girlfriend sprawled on the sofa with her laptop on her legs as she typed away. Her dark hair was piled on her head in a messy knot and she was biting her bottom lip as she concentrated on what she was doing. Despite the lump in her throat, Emily's lips curled into a smile. Marielle was the best thing in Emily's life and it was time Emily was honest with her.

Keeping Alison's presence a secret was giving Alison too much power in her life. Marielle had always been understanding and supportive of Emily's past and never once exhibited any jealousy, even when Emily admitted that she'd spent years looking for Alison. Marielle knew her better than anyone and she deserved honesty.

Emily wished she didn't feel so conflicted about Alison's return to her life. She wished she could look at the blonde and not feel anything for her. But that was impossible. This was Alison. Her first love. The girl she pined for as a young teenager. The girl she ached for when Alison vanished their freshman year of high school. The girl she fell in love with again when the blonde returned from the dead. Alison was the girl who broke her a second time when she vanished again after the fire. And she was still the woman who made Emily's heart race and left her breathless even when Emily was so furious with the blonde she wanted to scream.

She shouldn't still have these feelings for Alison. Not when she had Marielle. She genuinely loved Marielle and Emily was just beginning to see hints of a real future with her. She wasn't going to risk that for Alison. She couldn't. Not when she couldn't trust the blonde not to break her again.

Marielle looked up, finally noticing her standing there and she smiled. "Hello beautiful."

Emily immediately walked over and leaned down to kiss her. Her girlfriend giggled breathlessly when the kiss ended. "Wow. I like it when you greet me like that."

Emily lifted Marielle's legs and sat of the sofa, setting her girlfriend's feet on her lap. "I like coming home and finding you like this."

Marielle set her laptop on the coffee table and leaned back against the arm of the couch. She wiggled her feet and smiled.

"I was surprised you weren't here when I got home."

Emily knew this was her girlfriend's way of not asking her where she'd been but still asking her where she'd been.

"I, uh, actually want to talk to you about that," Emily replied seriously, committed now to telling Marielle about Alison.

"Do I need a glass of wine for this?" Marielle arched a brow as she teased.

"_I_ might," Emily admitted, only half joking.

Marielle leaned forward and reached for the hand Emily was resting on her calf. "Cheri, why so serious? I was just kidding you."

Emily looked into Marielle's deep green eyes and saw love and curiosity there. No suspicion of what Emily might have been up to because Marielle trusted her. And it made Emily feel like a cheater even though she'd told Alison she wasn't.

"I have to tell you something."

"Okay," Marielle said as she shifted and slid a little closer to Emily.

"I haven't been honest with you lately."

"What do you mean?" Marielle tilted her head curiously.

"You know when I had that fight with Hanna a few weeks ago."

"Yes," Marielle said as she gently caressed Emily's fingers and Emily sighed at her gentle touch.

"I never told you what it was about," Emily said as she reached up and curled a few stray strands of hair behind Marielle's ear.

"You have a right to your privacy Emily," Marielle replied as she reached up and grabbed Emily's hand, bringing her fingers to her lips.

"Privacy and deception are two different things." Emily pulled her hand away because she didn't want to get distracted again. She let her girlfriend's seductive ways sidetrack her too many times.

"Are you saying you deceived me?" Marielle asked seriously now.

"I'm saying by not telling you what it was about I haven't been honest," Emily said again. "I owe you the truth but I'm not sure how you're going to react."

"Why don't you just tell me, mon amour? What was your argument with Hanna about?"

"Alison."

Marielle didn't flinch but she remained quiet as she waited for Emily to continue. Emily picked at the hem of Marielle's pajama pant leg.

"She's here in Santa Monica."

"What do you mean she's here?" Marielle said in a low voice, one Emily had never heard her use before.

"She lives here. Only a couple of blocks away actually."

Marielle pulled her feet out of Emily's lap and lowered them to the floor.

"Have you seen her?"

"Yes."

"Explique-toi!" Marielle commanded in French and Emily knew her girlfriend well enough to know that was not a good sign.

Emily turned so she could look more fully at Marielle who had now shifted away from her slightly.

"There was a photo shoot at the restaurant about two months ago."

"And?" Marielle encouraged when Emily paused.

"Alison was the photographer."

"You saw her two months ago and you're just telling me now?" Marielle shrieked as she stood up and looked down at Emily.

"I know I should have told you the night it happened but…" Emily trailed off as she sat forward and reached for Marielle's hand again but her girlfriend stepped back out of her reach.

"But?" Marielle asked as she put her hands on her hips and scowled.

Emily wasn't sure what to say. There was no acceptable reason she didn't tell Marielle that night when she returned home from work. Emily could see the hurt and betrayal in her girlfriend's eyes and it made her sick to her stomach.

"I don't know why I didn't tell you," she said honestly.

"But you told Hanna? This is why you argued?"

Emily stood up. "Not exactly."

"Emily you're being very vague right now. Why won't you just give me a direct answer?"

Emily nibbled her bottom lip anxiously. "Hanna wasn't happy that I saw Alison but that isn't why we fought."

"Why did you fight?" Marielle demanded.

"Because she and all my other friends knew Alison was here and never told me."

"What?" Marielle asked surprised and her demeanor softened slightly.

"Yeah," Emily muttered and sat down again. "They've all known for a couple years and have been lying to me all this time."

Marielle dropped down onto the sofa beside Emily. "Oh, cheri," Marielle murmured as she grabbed Emily's hand again and entwined their fingers.

Emily gripped her girlfriend's hand and turned to face her. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you Mari. We promised we wouldn't lie to each other and I broke that promise."

Marielle sighed and frowned. "This is why you've been acting so strange," she said more to herself than Emily.

"I've been trying to figure out how to tell you but I just didn't want to make it a big deal."

"Have you seen Alison again?" Marielle asked quietly.

Emily exhaled a slow breath before she answered. "Yes."

Marielle pulled her hand away and stood up again, walking into the kitchen. Emily stood and followed her.

"I've only seen her twice, Mari," Emily continued as she watched Marielle pull a bottle of wine out of the fridge. "Once that day in Venice and then today."

"In Venice?" Marielle, who up until this point had done well at keeping her French temper in check, finally whirled around and demanded. "Is that why you wanted to go there?"

"No," Emily insisted. "I didn't expect to see her again but she jogged by when I was at the skate park."

"Merde! Je rêve là! Putain... Bordel mais j'y crois pas!" Marielle started muttering under her breath in French as she walked to the cupboard and grabbed a wine glass.

Emily was fully aware of what she was saying and the brunette cringed at the sheer number of expletives that passed her girlfriend's beautiful lips.

"Is that what happened today?" Marielle asked whirled around again and crossed her arms over her chest defensively.

"No." Emily tried not to cringe as she answered. "I sought her out today."

"Why, Emily? After everything she did to you? How she hurt you?" Marielle asked, her voice rising and octave with each word she said.

"Because I needed answers Mari." Emily replied trying to keep the level of her own voice in check.

"I thought you decided you didn't need answers anymore," Marielle accused before she took a gulp of her wine.

"I've always been honest with you about what Alison did to me." Emily crossed her arms defensively now because, prior to two months ago, that was true. "I had to let go of needing those answers because I didn't think I had a choice. I honestly believed I'd never see her again."

"And that changed when you saw her?"

"Yes and no," Emily admitted reluctantly.

"What does that mean?"

"It's more complicated than just yes or no."

"Well uncomplicated it for me then."

Emily was surprised Marielle was not speaking more in French. When she was furious, she automatically reverted to speaking in her native tongue. But Emily could see her girlfriend was trying to remain calm even though she was clearly hurt. That knowledge made Emily feel awful but she knew she had to keep being honest even if it hurt.

"I was so angry when I first saw her, Mari. I asked her why but it just turned into a screaming fight when I found out she knew I was looking for her all along and she still hid."

Marielle looked at Emily over her wine glass but didn't offer any kind of usual sympathy, so Emily continued.

"I stormed out before I could get any real answers but I convinced myself I didn't want them. I didn't _want_ to want them anymore Mar, but it still just kept eating at me."

"Did you get your answers?" Marielle looked at her hesitantly now, almost as if afraid of what Emily's answer would be.

"Today I did." Emily nodded.

Marielle put her now empty wine glass down. "And?"

"And I finally have them," Emily replied simply.

"What does that even mean Emily?" Marielle's voice rose again with frustration.

"It means I finally know why she did what she did even if I don't agree with her reasons."

"Do you still have feelings for her?" Marielle demanded.

"No," Emily said so abruptly that they both knew it was a lie. Desperately Emily stepped closer to Marielle. Once again Alison's presence was wreaking havoc with her life. "Mari, I love you. I'm committed to you."

Marielle stepped out of Emily's reach and hit her back against the counter.

"Was that the address I found in your jeans pocket?"

"Huh?" Emily asked confused at the abrupt change of subject.

"I found an address in your pocket when I was doing laundry a few weeks ago. Was that her address?" Marielle asked slowly and lowly.

Emily nodded cursing herself for forgetting about the napkin she'd jotted Alison's address on at the restaurant that night.

Marielle just looked at her with hurt in her eyes.

"If you found it, why didn't you ask me about it?" Emily asked curiously.

"Because I trusted you," Marielle said plainly.

"Mari, please talk to me. Scream at me. Anything," Emily begged.

Marielle took a breath and closed her eyes. When she opened them they were hollow. "I don't want to scream at you Emily. I don't want to fight with you about this. Alison should not mean anything in our relationship but clearly she does."

"No," Emily insisted as she reached out to her girlfriend again.

"No," Marielle barked sharply. "Emily please do not touch me right now."

"Alison doesn't mean anything," Emily said but the lie felt like ash on her tongue.

"If she didn't then you would have told me right away."

As much as she wanted to, Emily didn't dispute her words because it was the truth.

Marielle's eyes flashed with hurt when Emily failed to respond so she pushed past her girlfriend.

"Where are you going?" Emily asked as she succeeded in grabbing Marielle's arm this time. Marielle shook her off and headed toward the door, snatching her purse from the dining table on her way.

"I'm going out. I need some air."

"Mari, please?"

"Don't," Marielle pleaded as she choked over her words.

She yanked the door open and then slammed it behind her as Emily could only stand there helplessly watching her go.

#############

Alison and Pepe lounged on the back patio as the former picked absently at the salad in front of her and the later chomped on a new chewy toy. The night was cool and the silence was just what Alison needed at the moment. She needed time to remember and savor the memory of Emily's lips against her own; time to remember how they both enjoyed dinner at _Fields House_, before everything went to hell once again in her car outside her studio.

Despite how they parted, Alison felt a certain amount of relief now that she and Emily had really talked. Of course they didn't talk about everything they probably should have, but once Alison had pulled herself together in the car, she decided that they had parted on far worse terms in the past.

Alison was unsure where they stood but a part of her was hopeful that maybe this could mean a new beginning for them. There was still more she needed to tell Emily but her admissions to the brunette went better than she'd ever expected.

She'd told Megan that she couldn't just be friends with Emily and she knew even more surely now that was the absolute truth. Especially feeling Emily's lips on her own again after so long and the feeling of her body as Alison pressed against her, there was no way Alison could walk away again.

She'd be spitting in the face of the universe if she tried and quite frankly she just didn't want to try. She'd fight for Emily if she had to and Alison suspected she was probably going to have to. But she walked away from the girl she loved too many times and now she was going to win her back if it was the last thing she did.

She wouldn't go about it like she did in the past. She wasn't that person any more. She wasn't cruel and didn't deliberately hurt people now. But it was inevitable that someone would get hurt in all this and Alison was determined it wouldn't be her this time.

Pepe's head lifted at the sound of the doorbell and he barked once before he got up and trotted over to the front door. Alison followed more slowly, prepared to slam the door in Cece's face if the blonde was on her doorstep. Her friend had been calling and texting since she left the studio and Alison was ready to strangle her. She and Jason were so much alike and hovered over her way too fucking much in her opinion. They needed an intervention, and soon, because she was not going to have them hovering and screwing things up while she was trying to win Emily back.

The doorbell rang again before Alison reached the entryway.

"I'm coming already, fuck," she muttered to herself before flinging the door open. "I swear if this is you Ce-"

Alison's words halted as she saw who was standing on her stoop. "I was wondering when I was going to see you."

Marielle stood there with her arms crossed, her eyes narrowed and a scowl on her face.

"You went back on our deal, Alison."

* * *

**French Translation:**

"Explique-toi" - Explain!

"Merde! Je rêve là! Putain... Bordel mais j'y crois pas!" Shit! Fuck... I fucking can't believe it! Or insert your favorite curses here and be sure to use the word "fuck" a few times….lol

Thanks again for reading and see you next weekend!


	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer: Why don't I own these characters? I could have such fun with them.**

**Thanks as always, everyone, for reading and all your great reviews. I always enjoy them but I particularly enjoyed them for this last chapter. **

**Hehehehe…I've been waiting to drop that bomb on you…..**

**Anyway... I was away for most of the holiday weekend and didn't have a chance to post this before I left but here it finally is.**

**Is everybody ready for some drama?**

**Flashbacks are in _italics_.**

**Thanks again to Sophie for the translations.**

**Enjoy and if you're so inclined, please leave a review. They really do make my day.**

* * *

Chapter 5

_2 Years Ago…. _

_Paris, France_

_Alison approached the four story apartment building with some trepidation. She'd seen the building before from the bench on the corner. At least twice in the last year and a half Alison sat on that bench, a baseball cap on her head and sunglasses over her eyes to conceal her identity, as she waited for Emily to return from her classes at the Sorbonne only a few blocks to the east. But this time she wasn't there to just watch the brunette from afar. She was finally ready to face her again for the first time in over four years._

_For the several months Megan, Cece and Jason had all been encouraging her to seek out Emily and try to make amends. Alison still loved the brunette, neither time nor distance doing anything to lessen her feelings. In fact, as the years passed Alison felt she was more in love with the girl she called her mermaid than she was the night she kissed her goodbye._

_It had taken Alison a long time to get to this point. Years of intensive therapy helped her to come to terms with the tragedies in her past. She would always carry them with her, some of them more deeply than others, but she finally felt she could function day to day without feeling like the world was crushing down on her._

_She'd learned a lot about herself, especially in the last two years she'd been seeing Megan. Her previous doctors helped her move beyond the acute trauma from that night but she still carried the memories and burden of guilt for her part in all that had come to pass._

_With Megan's help, Alison had learned two very important things about herself. One, the anxiety she suffered that made it oftentimes almost impossible to function was post traumatic stress disorder or PTSD. From being stabbed by her twin as a child to being buried alive by her own mother. From the things she endured for two years while living alone on the streets, to being tortured by the same twin she had thought was dead. To watching and thinking her friends and the girl she loved were going to be murdered in front of her, to the sight of her father with a bullet hole in his forehead. _

_Alison still carried all of these things with her every day. Sometimes the memories would come flooding back suddenly and for no reason and other times something would trigger them. Either way, it would hit her and she'd feel like she was dying. She'd shake and her vision would blur and sometimes she hyperventilated to the point of passing out. She still woke at night sometimes, although it had lessened as of late, gasping for air, unable to breath, feeling like her lungs were filling with dirt again._

_But these were things that were all part of her life and she'd learned to cope and adapt because she had no other choice._

_The other thing she learned from her time with Megan was that in addition to the PTSD, Alison suffered from narcissistic tendencies. They weren't severe enough to be categorized as narcissistic personality disorder and, unlike most narcissists, Alison did have the ability to exhibit both compassion and empathy. But it didn't come as a complete surprise, though, when Megan diagnosed her. Mama DiLaurantis really fucked her up good as a little girl. _

_Although her mother wasn't around to confront, confirm or deny, Megan explained that Jessica went overboard trying to atone for abandoning and locking away one daughter by lavishing, often unhealthy, attention on the other. She taught Alison, with both words and deeds, to be selfish and self-centered. And convinced the young girl she was superior to others while simultaneously tearing her down with excessive criticism._

_Prior to her disappearance Alison was self-obsessed, self-involved and just plain mean. Even she could admit she was a bitch of epic proportions, who felt very little remorse for the cruel things she'd done, and it's no wonder half the town of Rosewood hated her guts. _

_But her experiences on the run, as well as everything that happened after she returned, forced Alison to realize her attitude and behavior were her own responsibility. Yes, Courtney had hurt her in unimaginable ways. And yes, her mother taught her bad attitudes and behaviors. But how she acted and how she chose to live her life was on her. She could choose to let what happened with Courtney and her parents define who she was. Or she could make the conscious choice to live her life differently. _

_With Megan's constant support, and Cece and Jason's encouragement, Alison finally believed she was a good person and a woman who deserved the love of someone like Emily. Although she still had a long way to go, Alison was now in a place emotionally where she felt she could seek out the girl she loved and ask for another chance. She wasn't sure if Emily would give it to her, but she had to try, because living without the person she loved wasn't living at all._

_Alison took at deep breath and walked toward the door. She shifted the bouquet of tulips she was carrying from one hand to the other. They were Emily's favorite flower and she'd spent half the day scouring Paris for them. She was just about to ring the buzzer for the fourth floor studio apartment, she knew Emily lived in, when a young couple pushed through the double glass doors. She decided to just go up and not announce herself. Less chance that Emily would hear her voice over the intercom and refuse to let her up._

_Not that she really believed Emily would do that. The brunette would probably want the opportunity to slap Alison, if nothing else, given the chance. Alison knew she'd hurt Emily in ways she could never make up for, but if the brunette was willing to give her a chance, she would spend the rest of her life proving she was worthy of that chance._

_The building Emily lived in was older and didn't have an elevator so Alison walked up the four flights to the top floor. Her hands shook and her palms sweated with every step she took. As she reached the fourth floor landing she paused and smoothed down her dress. She'd worn blue because Emily always said she looked beautiful in blue._

_After a minute of psyching herself up, Alison walked up to the door she knew was Emily's. Before she lost her nerve she knocked on the door and held her breath._

_The door opened and the brunette standing in front of her wearing a partially unbuttoned oxford button down white shirt, which only went to her thighs, was not the brunette she was expecting to see. Alison did a double take and looked at the number on the door again to make sure she was at the right apartment._

_"__Bonjour?" the woman said._

_"__Uh," Alison stuttered slightly more nervous than she realized. "I think I might have the wrong apartment. I'm looking for Emily Fields."_

_"This is Emily's apartment," the woman said in English now. Then her eyes widened with recognition. "Alison?"_

_Alison cursed herself for being so careless and not making sure Emily was alone before she came by._

_"Mari, if that's the delivery guy, the money is in my purse," Emily's voice rang out from inside the apartment._

_Alison's eyes whipped toward the direction the voice came from and the blonde realized she could also hear the sound of a shower running. Her eyes slid back to the woman in front of her and she also realized there was a very good reason the brunette was only half dressed. The realization made Alison want to vomit._

_"I'm sorry," she choked as she started to back up. "I have the wrong place."_

_"_Attend!_" the woman, resorting to French again, implored Alison to wait. "You are Alison, yes?"_

_Alison stopped and narrowed her eyes. "How do you know who I am?"_

_The woman tilted her head and she looked at Alison as if she was scrutinizing her. "Emily told me about you."_

_Alison wasn't sure if she was glad or pissed that Emily had mentioned her. And she could only imagine what Emily had said._

_"__And who are you?" Alison asked, getting a little bit of her bearings back._

_"__Marielle," the brunette said as she subtly glanced down at the flowers in Alison's hands. "Emily's girlfriend," she added and Alison felt her chest close up._

_It was one thing for Emily to be fucking some random girl. _

_It was another for Emily to have a girlfriend._

_"__This was a mistake," Alison said as she turned and bolted down the stairs not daring to look back. The woman above didn't call after her, but that didn't surprise Alison._

_When she reached to ground floor she rushed out the front door, almost knocking over a guy carrying several bags of food._

_The blonde rushed across and down the street to the corner, dropping onto the bench as she fought to catch her breath. The bouquet of tulips fell from her hands and she leaned forward and put her head between her knees. She felt like an elephant was sitting on her chest and she inhaled as deep as her constricted lungs would allow, and held it, before exhaling again, practicing the exercises Megan taught her to control her breathing. Slowly her heart stopped pounding like a drum in her chest and her lungs stopped aching with the desperate need for air._

_How could she be so fucking stupid? _

_Of course Emily would have a girlfriend?_

_Alison grabbed the tulips and sat back up. She brought them to her nose and inhaled deeply, letting the sweet scent surround her. She felt numb and empty while simultaneously like she was being stabbed and electrocuted all over again._

_She was too late. Emily had finally moved on like Alison had implored her to do in the letter she wrote. And while all she ever wanted was for Emily to be happy, the fact that she'd found it with someone other than Alison was painful beyond imagination. _

_She'd just traveled halfway around the world to tell Emily she loved her and beg for her forgiveness. She should have known the chances were slim of everything going according to her plan. But a girlfriend was not anywhere in those plans._

_That was the most unrealistic and foolish assumption Alison had made in this whole scenario. Of course Emily would have found someone to love her. Someone who was most likely a lot more worthy than Alison could ever hope to be. _

_Now what was she going to do? Now that her one chance at finding happiness had been ripped away by a beautiful French brunette?_

_The last time she'd been in Paris, she didn't notice anyone significant in Emily's life. In the few days Alison had been there she didn't see Emily alone with anyone. But that didn't mean this girl wasn't around. Alison wracked her brain trying to remember if she'd seen her anywhere. She was beautiful, Alison could reluctantly admit, although the exact polar opposite of the blonde. And although she didn't tend to see anyone but Emily when she was there watching, Alison wasn't sure how she would have missed Marielle._

_Just the thought her made Alison want to scream. The thought of her kissing and touching Emily drove Alison to dig her fingernails into her palm until she could feel the blood start to flow. She welcomed the pain and focused on it until finally it began to abate._

_Then the blonde just felt empty and alone._

_Alison wasn't sure how much time had passed but when she looked up at the fourth floor window she knew was Emily's apartment, it was dark. The streets were empty and the city seemed to have gone to sleep with the brunette and her girlfriend. But Alison knew she wouldn't find sleep any time soon._

_##############_

_She barely noticed when the sun rose hours later although she'd passed the time by picking the petals off the tulips one by one and letting them fall to the ground at her feet. The city slowly came to life again around her but Alison found herself rooted to her spot on the familiar bench. She wanted to see Emily one last time before she left. _

_This time for good. Because she wouldn't be returning to Paris again._

_After what seemed like a couple of hours, Emily and Marielle exited the building. The angle from her vantage point afforded her some anonymity, but Alison wished she had her usual baseball cap and sunglasses. Emily's class was in the opposite direction so Alison wasn't really worried she'd be seen but she still shifted slightly so her body was pointed away from the two women who were saying goodbye in front of the building._

_Alison watched in dismay as Emily leaned forward and pressed a kiss to the slightly taller woman's lips before they hugged. It was like an accident you saw on the freeway. Even though it was horrifying, you couldn't take your eyes off it. Alison watched as Emily slid her arms around Marielle and the brunette slipped her arms around Emily's neck. The blonde was so focused on the sight of the girl she loved in another woman's arms that Alison didn't realize there were eyes on her until her own slid back to Marielle's face._

_Alison panicked briefly concerned that Marielle would point her out to Emily, but the brunette just said a few more words to her mermaid before they parted ways. Emily walked in the direction of her class and Marielle walked toward Alison._

_The blonde was tempted to bolt but something made her stand her ground and wait until the taller woman walked up to her, a look of curiosity on her face._

_"__Why are you here, Alison?" she asked, her tone a combination of curiosity and judgment. It made Alison's clench her teeth._

_"__I don't see how that's any of your business," Alison replied in her typically defensive manner._

_"__If you're here to hurt my girlfriend, it is my business," Marielle replied not at all intimidated by the blonde._

_"__She was mine long before she was ever yours," Alison snapped as she dug her fingernails into her wounded palms again. It helped to calm her. "You'd do well to remember that."_

_Okay, so that wasn't exactly accurate. Emily had never officially been hers. But in Alison's heart she was. And always would be._

_"__I know what you did to her and all the ways you hurt her and you have a lot of nerve coming here like this." _

_Marielle's accent was thick but she spoke English very well. Clearly she was fluently bilingual._

_"__You forfeited any right to come back into her life when you abandoned her," Marielle added heatedly and Alison knew she was right. But that didn't mean she was going to admit it._

_"__Look, Frenchie," Alison snarled losing her temper now; though there was a very small part of her that appreciated the brunette trying to protect Emily. "Why I'm here and what happened between me and Emily is between me and Emily," she emphasized. _

_Marielle wasn't fazed by Alison's outburst, nor her biting tone, and the blonde had to reluctantly respect that._

_"__I didn't tell her you came by last night," Marielle said and Alison got the answer she didn't realize she was digging for. _

_"__You don't have to worry about telling her now because I'm leaving," Alison replied with a little less heat and a lot more resignation because she'd already made her decision. As much as she wanted another chance with Emily, she didn't want to throw her life once again into chaos if she'd found some semblance of happiness. Because that's all Alison ever wanted for her._

_"__I'm not worried," Marielle said but Alison could hear the uncertainty in her tone._

_"__If she really told you about me then you wouldn't feel that way."_

_Marielle flushed with anger and was opening her mouth to respond when Alison held up her hand._

_"__I have no desire to fight with you Marielle. I only have one question to ask you."_

_"__What?" Marielle said between clenched teeth. Alison could tell the brunette wanted to slap her and she had to admit it amused her a little. The woman was fierce and brave and maybe, just maybe, she'd be good for Emily. _

_"__Do you make her happy?" Alison asked as she swallowed back the lump that suddenly formed in her throat._

_Marielle looked surprised by the question. "Yes," she replied honestly._

_The answer simultaneously hurt and comforted Alison. She took a deep breath, even though her chest was so tight it felt like it was crushed in a vise._

_"__If I ever find out you don't, you'll wish we never met." _

_"__Is that a threat?" Marielle still wasn't intimidated._

_"__It's a warning," Alison replied simply. "And as long as you make her happy, you'll get no interference from me. But if you don't…."_

_Alison trailed off and let the implication hang in the air between them before she turned and walked away from the brunette without another word. _

_She didn't trust herself to say or do anything else._

##################

"I wouldn't call what we had a deal, exactly," Alison replied as she took in the woman she'd last seen in front of Emily's apartment. Pepe stepped onto the porch stoop and stood guard in front of Alison but he didn't growl; just sniffed at the stranger in front of him.

"You can twist it any way you want, Alison," Marielle insisted as she continued to glare at the blonde. "But we had an agreement."

Alison crossed her arms over her chest and mimicked Marielle's posture. "You're the one who's twisting it," she said before adding curiously. "And it makes me wonder why."

"You vowed to never come back into her life," Marielle accused as her voice started to rise.

"I vowed to never interfere in her life if she was happy," Alison retorted as she stepped out onto the stoop and she reached down to stroke Pepe's fur because he started growling lowly. He never liked raised voices, especially when they were directed at Alison.

"She is happy," Marielle snapped her voice shrill now.

"You wanna keep it down please," Alison hissed. "I do have neighbors with kids and it's past their bedtime."

Her immediate neighbors didn't have kids but there were some a few houses down and if Marielle's voice kept rising they'd hear her soon enough.

Pepe snapped his teeth at Marielle and she took a step back.

"Does that dog bite?" she asked as she eyed him warily.

"Only people he thinks are a threat," Alison replied with an amused tone.

And people I take into my bed, Alison added silently to herself but she didn't share that information with the brunette in front of her.

The blonde reached down and stroked Pepe's ears. "Relax, Pepe," she soothed softly and the dog relaxed a little.

"Emily is happy," Marielle said again. "And you need to stay away from her."

"If she's so happy," Alison continued. "Why is she seeking me out?"

Alison knew it wasn't fair of her to ask that because Emily made it very clear she was happy with her girlfriend. She just wanted answers from her. But the blonde hoped that the time they spent together and the honesty Alison had given her maybe brought some of those old feelings to the surface.

"Emily ne mentait pas quand elle disait que tu manipulais tout le monde pour servir tes propres intérêts," Marielle replied in retaliation but thankfully at a much lower decibel level.

Alison narrowed her eyes. "I do understand French. And yes, Emily is right; I _used to_ manipulate things for my own advantage. But I don't do that anymore."

"I don't believe you," Marielle snapped.

"I don't care what you believe," Alison scoffed.

"You need to stay away from her," Marielle warned again as she regained her courage and took a step closer to Alison.

Alison grabbed Pepe's collar. He wouldn't attack unless Alison commanded him to but she could sense his growing anxiety and she didn't want him to do anything unexpected.

"I don't need to do anything." Alison was getting bored with this conversation.

"You do if you know what's good for you." Marielle's words lost some of their punch as she simultaneously stepped back again when Pepe's growling grew louder.

"Pepe cut it out," Alison commanded the dog before she addressed Marielle again. "Look, what was your name again?"

"Marielle," the brunette said through clenched teeth.

"Look, Marielle, you need to back the hell off because I don't take kindly to threats. And neither does Pepe." Alison patted him on the head and he bumped into her leg in a show of support. "I lived here first." Alison continued and took another step further out onto the porch because she refused to be intimidated by the brunette. "I didn't seek Em out. But if you think I'm going to just walk away again, you're delusional."

"You're only going to hurt her by coming back into her life again," Marielle accused as her eyes flashed angrily.

"I have no intention of hurting her. It's one of the two of us," Alison motioned between them with her hand. "That's going to end up hurt in this scenario."

"She doesn't want you here."

"Then let her tell me that." Alison tried to keep calm but she was starting to get really annoyed. "I'm sure Em told you horror story after horror story about me and what a selfish, cruel bitch I was."

Marielle's facial expression told Alison she was right. The blonde didn't necessarily blame Emily for that but it still hurt to know.

"But I'm not that person anymore. And I never stopped loving her," Alison said making sure Marielle was clear on that one point.

"Do you even know how? Emily always said she didn't think you did."

Alison refused to acknowledge Marielle's dig.

"There are a lot of things I hid from Emily back then. My feelings were only one of them."

"I make her happy," Marielle insisted. "I've always made her happy."

"Maybe you do," Alison spoke swiftly but Marielle just continued to talk over her as the brunette's temper began to rise again along with her voice.

"I've never hurt her like you have."

"Probably not," Alison admitted ruefully. "But I can make her happy too," she added.

"What are you saying?" Marielle asked suspiciously and Alison decided to lay her intentions on the table.

"I'm saying I'm not walking away from her again," Alison stated plainly. "If she wants me I'm hers."

"Why would she want someone who has done nothing but hurt her?" Marielle scoffed in disbelief.

"The heart wants who the heart wants." Alison knew it was cliché but she didn't care.

"And if she doesn't?" Marielle asked.

Alison released a long breath. "Then I'll respect that." Alison wasn't sure if she was capable of stepping back now but there was no way she was going to admit that to Marielle. "But I will tell you this, Marielle." Alison's voice lowered as she prepared to make her intentions very clear. "If Emily wants me, not you or anyone else on earth is going to keep me from her."

"Now who's the delusional one?" Marielle said but Alison could hear the worry starting to creep into her voice. But that didn't stop the feisty brunette from standing her ground. "Get this through your thick skull, Alison, Emily doesn't want you anymore."

"Don't kid yourself. You might have distracted her for a while but she's _never _stopped wanting me." Alison knew her words were cruel but she always lashed out when attacked and she was feeling that way now.

"You mean nothing to her anymore," Marielle said and Alison wondered if that was how she looked when she used to cruelly try to tear her enemy down.

She felt her face flush with anger because there was still that part of her, deep down, that worried Marielle was right. So in typical Alison fashion she lashed out again.

"Then why did she have her tongue down my throat four hours ago?"

Marielle's face went white. For a brief second Alison felt bad. But it quickly vanished as Marielle reached out and slapped her across the face.

"Comment oses-tu, pétasse!"

"Marielle, what are you doing?" Emily's shocked voice came from the walkway behind her.

Alison's eyes whipped to the brunette who was standing no more than ten feet away from them and she muttered "Fuck!" under her breath. She could see Emily's eyes wide and full of shock and confusion.

Pepe had crouched, ready to attack, when Marielle slapped Alison, but when he heard Emily's voice, he immediate changed course and went scurrying off the porch and down the walkway to where the brunette stood.

So much for her guard dog.

"Emily," Marielle said as she spun around surprised.

"What the hell is going on here?" Emily asked as she looked between the two women in front of her. Pepe was trying to jump on her and get her attention and she absently reached down to pat him in response.

"This isn't what it looked like," Marielle said as she turned more fully to look at Emily.

"It looked like you just slapped Alison and called her a bitch." Emily was stunned because although Marielle sometimes had a volatile temper she wasn't a physically violent person.

"Then it was exactly what it looked like," Alison again muttered under her breath but neither Emily nor Marielle were paying attention to her.

Alison lifted her hand to her stinging cheek. Marielle had a hit her pretty good.

Emily walked the rest of the way up the walkway to the porch, shocked and upset by what she'd just witnessed.

"What are you doing here, Mari?" Emily asked.

"I could ask you the same thing," Marielle accused defensively.

Emily shot a quick glance at Alison who wasn't even trying to pretend she wasn't listening. "I decided to take a walk to try to clear my head."

"And you just ended up here?" Marielle asked disbelievingly.

Emily didn't have an adequate answer for her girlfriend. She hadn't intended to come to Alison's. She just started walking and the next thing she knew she'd walked two miles and was on Alison's street. The brunette knew she should have turned around and gone home but something compelled her to keep going. By the time she was only a few houses away, Emily had decided she was going to see Alison and tell her they couldn't see one another again because Emily wasn't willing to jeopardize her relationship with Marielle.

But then she saw what she recognized at Marielle's car parked on the street in front of Alison's condo. She suspected her girlfriend had come to confront Alison but she never expected to find Marielle slapping the blonde. It stunned and upset her but there was a small part of her wasn't surprised. Marielle had always been very protective of Emily and her temper could sometimes get the better of her.

Emily reached for Marielle's hand. "Mari, let's go home and talk."

Alison looked away because she couldn't bear to see the two of them.

"I know you're probably curious but why did you come here? I would have answered anything you asked."

Marielle looked quickly over at Alison and her eyes held a warning in them and the blonde instantly realized Marielle didn't intend to be honest with Emily. She narrowed her eyes. She was not going to let her mermaid be lied to about this.

"Yeah you probably should talk about why she came here," Alison said cryptically.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Emily finally looked at Alison again and she could see the blonde standing defensively with her arms crossed.

"You should ask your girlfriend," Alison suggested with a snort.

Pepe plopped himself down on the stoop beside Alison's feet, clearly done trying to vie for attention that no one was willing to give him.

Emily looked back at Marielle and her girlfriend's eyes were unreadable. That was disconcerting because Marielle was usually always so easy to read.

"Mari?" Emily said but Marielle just looked away. Emily felt a knot form in her chest so she looked back at the blonde. "Alison?"

"You tell her or I will," Alison said to Marielle rather than answer Emily's question.

"Stay out of this," Marielle snarled as she whipped her head in Alison's direction and glared.

"I won't lie to her," Alison replied more calmly than she felt because she knew Emily was going to be furious with her. But what else was new? And this was Alison's chance to come clean about yet one more thing.

"That's rich coming from you," Marielle scoffed. "All you've ever done is lie to everyone."

"I won't lie to her ever again," Alison replied honestly.

Emily looked between her girlfriend and Alison with confusion etched on her face but the knot in her chest grew ever tighter.

"Well someone better tell me the truth right now," Emily demanded as she pulled her hand out of Marielle's.

"You know what," Alison said as she finally dropped her arms to her sides. "This is between the two of you. I'm going to leave you to it."

The blonde turned and walked into the house without another word. She tugged Pepe along with her into the house before closing the door behind her and leaving Emily and Marielle on the porch.

It killed her to do it. To leave Emily without knowing what Marielle was going to say about their previous meeting. But it really didn't matter. If Emily wanted to know her side of it she'd come to her. And Alison had to trust that she would.

The blonde knew it was a gamble that could backfire horribly, but to get in the middle of Emily and Marielle was a mistake. And, honestly, it hurt too much to continue to watch them together.

It was one thing knowing Emily had a girlfriend and it was another entirely to have to see it.

Pepe barked at her almost as if asking her what the hell she was thinking.

"What did you expect me to do?" she snapped him. "If she wants us she'll come back.

Alison could hear Emily and Marielle's raised voices outside. Emily was a lot more volatile than Alison remembered but then again she'd been living in France for years. The French were known for their explosive tempers and her girlfriend clearly fell into that stereotype.

Pepe barked again and Alison was sure he was telling her she was an idiot.

"What if she doesn't come back?" Alison asked the dog absently as she continued to question her decision.

No. She couldn't keep second guessing herself. She had to believe Emily would at least seek her out and give her a chance to tell her side. If not, Alison would find her because she was dead serious when she told Marielle she wasn't going anywhere.

She was done running.

And done living without Emily.

The sound outside had quieted. So Alison walked over to the front door and looked through the peep hole. Emily and Marielle were still standing at the top of her walkway and Marielle's arms were flailing as her lips moved rapidly. She could also see the hurt and betrayal on her mermaid's face and she frowned.

Once again something Alison had done was hurting Emily. She closed her eyes and let her forehead rest of the back of the door.

Would she ever stop hurting the girl she loved?

#############

Emily felt the world as she knew it crumbling around her as Marielle continued to try to make excuses for what she'd done. She'd lied to Emily for years and that knowledge made the brunette want to bend over and vomit right where she stood.

Not only had Alison found her in Paris two years ago, but she had deliberately sought her out at her home. Granted she had run _again_. But that was nothing new for the blonde. That part of the story didn't surprise Emily. But what did surprise her and rock her right down to her very core was that Marielle had not only known it, not only saw and met and spoke to Alison, but she never told Emily it happened. She kept it a secret, making a pact with Alison to keep the knowledge of the blonde's visit from her.

"How could you lie to me like that Mari? After everything I told you about Alison and her lies and how they ruined me. We promised we wouldn't lie to each other."

"I didn't lie," Marielle replied confidently.

Emily's mouth dropped in shock. "Can you honestly look at me and say that with a straight face?"

"It wasn't a lie,' Marielle insisted. "I just didn't tell you."

Emily threw up her hands in exasperation. "That's the same thing."

"Then you've been lying to me for months now," Marielle accused.

"And I've felt horrible about it," Emily admitted honestly. "It's eaten away at me every day."

"Not enough to tell me," Marielle replied as her voice began to rise again. "And you don't think I felt guilty about this?"

"Not enough to tell me," Emily threw Marielle's words back at her. "You've had years to tell me, Mari. Years!"

Although she had never been much of a yeller Emily's voice was starting rising too.

"The more time that passed, the easier it was to not say anything."

"Our relationship is supposed to be built on honesty and trust." Emily's heart broke with the knowledge that it wasn't.

"It is," Marielle reached for Emily's hand but Emily just pulled it away again. She couldn't bear to have Marielle touch her right now.

Marielle frowned in reaction. "We'd only just started dating, Emily. It was so new and I was afraid if you knew she'd come for you that you'd start trying to find her again."

"That wasn't your choice to make, Mari," Emily retorted loudly.

Before Marielle could respond, the front door opened and Emily looked to the right to see Alison standing there again.

"Can the two of you take this somewhere else please before my neighbors call the cops?"

"Alison, go in the house," Emily snapped before looking back at Mari. "I'll deal with you later."

Alison scowled and bit back the sharp reply on the tip of her tongue. Attacking Emily was not what she wanted to do. It was not the way to show the brunette she'd changed.

But how dare she order her back in the house.

"If the cops come and haul your asses off to jail, don't call me to bail you out," Alison snarled instead before turning and walking back into the house, pushing Pepe inside before slamming the door this time, for good measure. She then slammed her hand against the switch that turned off the porch light, plunging Emily and Marielle into darkness. The walkway was lined with solar lamps, so they weren't in total darkness, but Alison felt she made her point.

Take that, she thought petulantly.

Pepe whimpered at the door but Alison ignored him as she leaned against it.

"I know, Pepe," she sighed after a minute of his continued whimpering. "I want her too."

Pepe head butted Alison in the thigh and she reached down and patted his head.

"It has to be her choice, baby."

And it did. If Emily didn't come to Alison willingly, then the blonde would always worry and wonder if it was what the brunette truly wanted.

After another minute, Alison couldn't contain her curiosity any longer. She turned and looked through the peep hole again.

Disappointment and relief flooded her when she saw both Emily and Marielle were gone.

###################

Emily groaned and rolled over, almost falling off the sofa as she did. Her eyes fluttered in the light shining through the living room window. She sat up, her long lean body aching from her third consecutive night sleeping on the sofa.

This was getting ridiculous. She and Marielle had to talk because Emily didn't think her body could take another night of this.

When she and Marielle had returned home from Alison's three nights prior, their arguing had continued well into the night. She was surprised their neighbors didn't call the police about a domestic disturbance because at one point Marielle starting throwing several of her glass knickknacks across the living room when things got particularly heated.  
Emily had seen a side of her girlfriend she'd never seen before and by the time Marielle stormed off to the bedroom and locked the door, to say Emily's head was spinning would be an understatement.

Emily was the wronged party in this situation but she felt like it was all her fault. Okay, she didn't tell Marielle about seeing Alison for almost two months. She could admit that wasn't one of her wisest decisions lately. But Marielle had lied to her for years. Emily felt like their entire relationship was built on a lie and a secret but Marielle couldn't see that. She had apologized to Emily but still defended her decision with the excuse that she didn't want to see Emily get hurt.

And that was a cop out as far as Emily was concerned.

She loved Marielle, genuinely loved her. Yes, she was hurt and angry but that didn't mean her love for her girlfriend was gone. She and Marielle had two years together, two incredibly great years. But as soon as Emily started thinking about those two incredibly great years, she remembered they started out with a monumental lie between them.

One that, had she known at the time, could have changed the course of Emily's life.

Two years ago she really liked Marielle. They had been friends for a little over a year and had just taken the next step into dating. And now Emily loved the woman who had become the most important person her life and who had moved halfway across the world to be with her.

But the brunette was torn and confused and didn't know what to do because all these feelings for Alison had resurfaced too. Feelings she thought she'd let go of and ones she didn't want to feel.

But she did. And trying to talk herself out of it made not one damn bit of difference.

She and Marielle hadn't spoken since that night. After Marielle threw Emily's pajamas out of the bedroom and locked the door, Emily settled onto the couch for the night. They both needed space so it was probably for the best.

The next morning, even though she didn't think she was going to be ready yet, Emily expected they would talk. She tossed and turned and finally fell asleep just before dawn, but when she woke a couple of hours later, she found Marielle had already left for work.

By the time Emily got home from the restaurant that night, Marielle was already in bed, again having locked the bedroom door. At least she'd made up the couch for Emily and left her pajamas on the coffee table. Marielle was hurt by Emily's admission that she still felt something for Alison and Emily couldn't blame her. But when her girlfriend asked her point blank, she refused to lie. She refused to let another lie fester between them and Emily figured that's why Marielle was avoiding her.

The following morning, Marielle left very early, quietly sneaking out before Emily woke. And again last night, Marielle was already in bed, having made up the sofa for Emily a second time. She hadn't locked the bedroom door, though, and Emily quietly snuck inside and watched her girlfriend sleep for over an hour, before leaving the room and going back to her makeshift bed on the couch.

How had her life gotten so screwed up so fast?

Emily stretched as the silence in the apartment settled over her. She could tell Marielle was already gone. Again.

She grabbed her phone off the table to see the alarm she'd set the previous night had been turned off and concluded Marielle must have done it before she left.

Emily picked up her phone and dialed Marielle's number. After one ring it went to voice mail indicating the phone was off.

"Mari," Emily started once Marielle's greeting ended. "We can't keep doing this. We have to talk. I'll try to get out of work as quick as I can tonight but please wait up. I know we're both hurt and angry but we can work through this. I love you, Mari."

Emily hit end on her phone, leaned back against the cushions and sighed. She debated calling Pierre to say she was sick and couldn't go in tonight so she could be there when Marielle got home from work. But she still felt bad about the way she acted the day Alison was there, even though Pierre told her not to worry. But Emily did worry because she adored her boss, and his opinion of her mattered. And she loved her job and didn't want to take a chance of jeopardizing it.

But Emily was determined to talk to Marielle tonight even if she had to break down the bedroom door.

Her phone rang in her hand and she looked down quickly, hoping it was Marielle, but instead she saw Hanna's face smiling at her. She groaned and debated ignoring the call, but she'd avoided her blonde friend for almost a month now. In fact she'd not taken calls from Spencer or Aria either. While Hanna had honored her request for a while and didn't call her for a couple of weeks, she left Emily a message the other day begging Emily to call her back.

Emily got the message just before she went to Alison's studio. And after the clusterfuck that day had turned into, returning Hanna's call had not been a priority.

"Hi, Han," Emily said into the phone as she brought it to her ear.

"Well it's about fucking time," Hanna said into her ear. "I know you're mad Em, but just hear me out."

The sound of Hanna's voice was both a balm and a razorblade to Emily's soul. She needed her friend desperately right now. But at the same time, hearing the familiar voice reminded her she'd been lied to by everyone she trusted.

"Hanna," Emily started to say but Hanna interrupted her.

"I was wrong," the blonde blurted out. "We all were, Em. But we just did it because we love you and you have to forgive us. We just didn't want to dredge up a past you'd moved on from."

"Hanna, you don't lie to the people you love." As Emily said the words, the irony was not lost on her.

"It wasn't a lie," Hanna insisted.

"A lie of omission is still a lie Hanna."

Why couldn't any of the women in her life understand that?

The blonde on the other end of the phone was silent. After all what could she say?

"And I know you love me," Emily continued. "And didn't mean to hurt me. But you did."

"I'm sorry, Em," Hanna said sincerely.

"I know," Emily sighed.

"I'll do anything to make it up to you," Hanna offered in her ear.

"Oh you will, for sure," Emily said and she wasn't kidding. She was going to make the blonde work for her forgiveness. "But I don't have time to get into it with you today. I've got a lot going on and I'll have to call you back in a few days."

"What did Alison do?" Hanna growled through the phone.

Her question made Emily furious. Of course Hanna would assume Alison was at fault. While there were many things Alison had done and many reasons Emily still had to be upset with her, Emily found with this one thing, she was more upset with Marielle than Alison. After all Alison only did what she was accustomed to doing. Running.

But it was her girlfriend who had deceived her.

"Hanna I'm not going to do this with you," Emily warned in a low tone. "Alison is an off limits topic for us. Effective now."

"Fine," Hanna grumbled and Emily knew she wasn't happy about it. "But if I have to come out there and kick her ass I will."

"Enough, Hanna. I'll call you in a couple of days," Emily said and didn't wait for a reply before she hung up.

She tossed her phone onto the table and laid back down, burying her face under the pillow.

In addition to everything going on with Marielle, she still had to deal with Alison. The blonde had more answering to do now but Emily needed to make things right with Marielle before she even dared to see Alison again. Not that she knew what she'd do when she did.

She was kind of surprised and maybe, if she was honest, a little bit disappointed that Alison hadn't tried to contact her. The blonde knew where Emily worked and could have easily stopped in or left a message at the restaurant.

They hadn't left things on a very good note after her visit to Field's House. Her head was still reeling from everything Alison revealed that day. Then the bombshell that was dropped on her that very same night, just made everything with Alison even more confusing. On top of all that and with the chasm between her and Marielle at the moment, Emily felt more alone than she had in a very long time.

In the early days when she was searching for Alison, she did it alone. Everyone kept telling her she was wasting her time and no one, not even her friends, understood why she had to do it. Spencer had given her the contact for the private investigator but only because Emily had begged her. And the brunette had to travel to Paris alone and search for Alison with no one to help. Part of Emily still resented all of them for also abandoning her.

But since Marielle had come into her life, Emily no longer felt alone.

Until now.

The other day Alison had shown her a side of herself that made Emily want to weep with joy because she hadn't been mistaken about the blonde. After so long even Emily doubted her opinion of Alison, thinking maybe everyone was right and she really was a soulless monster like her sister. But Emily never believed it, was never willing to believe she had been so utterly wrong about the girl she loved. Because if she had been _that _wrong, it meant she'd loved a monster.

And as it turned out, Alison was anything but. She was kind and generous and incredibly selfless, giving everything she had to help those young girls, who like her were on the run and living on the streets. Whether it was of their own making or whether they were victims, Alison did everything in her power to protect them.  
Emily knew it was because Alison had no one who had protected her when she needed it and that knowledge still made Emily's heart break a little.

Alison wasn't perfect, not by a long shot, but seeing that side of the blonde just reaffirmed everything Emily thought and believed about Alison, including that the feelings she had for the blonde weren't misguided.

And that left Emily well and truly fucked at the moment.

She had no one she could talk to because Hanna was clearly out of the question, as were her other friends. She couldn't talk to her parents because they were still angry with the blonde for breaking their little girl's heart. She could just imagine her mother's reaction if she knew Alison was back in Emily's life. That would _not_ go over well.

So, instead, Emily stood up and stretched. She needed a good long run to clear her mind before she went to work. Maybe that would help her figure out just what she needed to do to make things right with Marielle and what in the hell she could do about her resurfacing feelings for Alison.

She changed into her running clothes quickly before grabbing her keys and her iPod and she left the apartment determined to head in the opposite direction of Alison's house.

#################

What had started out as good intentions when she left her house had still brought her to the exact place she intended to avoid. Emily looked up the walkway to Alison's condo and scolded herself for ending up there. She deliberately headed north but somehow, without realizing it, she got turned around and over and was now in the one place she didn't want to be.

Talking to Alison again before she and Mari worked things out was probably a mistake she'd regret. But she wanted to know Alison's side of the story. She needed to know why, after that many years, the blonde had finally come to her only to just walk away without seeing her. And why hadn't Alison told her about it when they had their talk the other day. Emily was certain Alison hadn't told her everything that day, but this was a pretty significant thing to have left out.

As she ran, almost unconsciously changing course. Emily talked herself into thinking that having Alison's side before she talked to Marielle would give her a more balanced view of things.

Who the hell was she kidding? That excuse sounded lame even to her.

For at least ten minutes Emily stood there debating whether or not to walk to the door, before she decided to leave. She wasn't ready to see Alison yet. And part of her wondered when and if she would be again.

Just as she was about to turn and start jogging away from the house, the front door opened and Pepe came bounding out, heading straight towards her. The dog was barking and jumping excitedly to see her. She crouched down and scratched his scraggly ears and neck as he licked at her face.

"Hi Pepe," she laughed despite her poor mood because all eighty pounds of fur of him really was just the cutest thing.

Emily lifted her eyes and was surprised to see a different blonde than she expected.

"Hey Americano," Cece greeted as she walked down the walkway carrying Pepe's leash.

"Cece," Emily said her name more casually than she felt as she stood up.

"Come here, Jaws, let's put on your leash," she said to the dog and Emily looked at her curiously.

"Jaws?"

"We'll see what you call him after he bites you on the ass," Cece replied as she walked closer to Emily and bent down to clip the leash to Pepe's collar.

Not sure she wanted to know why Pepe bit Cece; Emily decided it was best not to inquire.

"I'd ask what brings you by," Cece continued with a smirk. "But we both know the answer to that so we might as well not play games."

Pepe plopped himself down on Emily's feet, almost like he was trying make it so she couldn't walk away.

"I was just out for a run," Emily replied a bit defensively, even though showing up at Alison's house was becoming a habit for her whether she was running or walking.

"And you just ended up in front of Ali's place? What a fortuitous coincidence," Cece replied drolly as she gave Emily the once over. "If you're here to see Alison she's out of town until tomorrow."

"Out of town?" Emily asked surprised. The blonde hadn't said anything to Emily the other day about going out of town. Then again she didn't owe Emily information about her whereabouts.

"Yeah, she's at a shoot in New York."

"And you're watching Pepe for her?" Emily asked, not sure what else to say because, as much as she wanted them she refused to ask for details.

She shouldn't want details.

"Nothing gets by you, does it?" Cece replied sardonically.

Emily wasn't sure if she was disappointed or relieved that Alison wasn't around.

"Always a pleasure to see you Cece," Emily replied just as sarcastically as she pulled her feet out from beneath Pepe and started to turn away. She was not in the mood to engage the blonde in a sparring match.

"Emily," Cece called after her and the brunette turned back and arched a brow in question.

"If you're just going to fuck with her heart, stay away from her." Cece's tone had taken on a harder edge.

"Excuse me?" Emily's asked.

"You heard me," Cece replied firmly. "If you don't want her anymore you have to fucking tell her so she can finally move on."

"Cece, you need to stay out of this," Emily warned the blonde. "This doesn't concern you."

"Yes it fucking does," Cece snarled. "I'm the one who has to deal with the aftermath. I can't pick up the broken pieces of her again."

Part of Emily wanted to ask Cece just how bad it had been with Alison, but the look in the blonde's eye told her volumes. Emily swallowed back the lump that had formed in her throat at the thought of how much Alison had suffered after what happened with Courtney.

"There's nothing between me and Alison anymore."

Cece scoffed under her breath. "Try telling her that."

"I have a girlfriend," Emily insisted.

"You and I both know that doesn't mean shit most of the time."

"It does to me."

Cece looked at her for a long moment, her expression clearly indicating she didn't believe a word Emily said.

"Should I tell her you came by?" Cece asked and Emily felt her face flush with anger at Cece's implication and her jab at Marielle.

"You really are a bitch sometimes, Cece. At least Alison finally recognizes you were a terrible influence on her when she was young."

Cece chuckled darkly. "So the pretty mermaid has claws. I kinda like that about you Americano."

"Goodbye Cece."

"See you around, mermaid," Cece called after her one last time but Emily ignored her as she put her ear buds in her ears and let the music drown out Cece's continued chuckling behind her.

##############

Emily walked into the apartment prepared for Marielle to be in bed already, but determined to wake her girlfriend if she was. Marielle hadn't returned her call but Emily hadn't really expected her to. Her girlfriend could be incredibly stubborn when she wanted to be. And she could be defiant when she was angry so Emily was actually surprised to find Marielle not only awake, but the bedroom door open and the sofa not made up into a bed again.

With new hope in her heart, Emily walked down the hallway and called out Marielle's name softly.

"Mari," she said as she stepped through the door to the bedroom. But she stopped short when she saw Marielle neatly folding clothes and placing them into a suitcase.

The sight sucked all the air out of her lungs.

"Mari, what are you doing?"

Marielle looked over at Emily and the brunette could see the dark circles under her girlfriend's eyes. Despite how early Marielle had been going to bed, it was clear she was getting very little sleep.

"I'm going to visit my parents," Marielle replied with very little inflection in her voice.

"Why?" Emily asked as she felt her chest begin to tighten with panic.

"Do you really need to ask that?" Marielle said incredulously.

"You're leaving me?" Emily asked, the sound resembling a choked sob.

"I need some space, Emily," Marielle replied before going back to her packing. "And I can't get it living here in this small apartment with you."

Emily took a deep breath to calm herself.

"This has gotten way out of hand. We need to talk about this, Mari. We both screwed up but we can fix this."

"I don't know if we can." Marielle placed her last item of clothing into the suitcase.

"Of course we can," Emily insisted. "I love you Mari and I want to fix this."

Marielle closed her suitcase and zipped it up. She set it on the floor by the door before she turned back to look at Emily.

"I've done a lot of thinking these past few days, Emily, and you were right. I had no right to keep Alison's visit from you. We'd barely begun dating when it happened and even though I did it with the best intentions it was still wrong and selfish and cruel of me. I tried to justify it to you and to myself but there is no excuse and I wouldn't blame you if you can't forgive me."

"I can forgive you, Mar. I do," Emily said desperately as she stepped closer to her girlfriend. "I know you'd never deliberately hurt me. I'm still feeling raw from finding out Hanna and the girls lied to me all this time and I probably just overreacted."

Emily didn't think she was overreacting but she'd say anything she thought might get Marielle to reconsider leaving.

"Please don't go, Mari."

"Emily, listen to me," Marielle said as she picked up her suitcase. "I'm going. I'm booked on a flight that leaves at 2 a.m. and the cab will be here in a few minutes to take me to the airport."

She turned and walked down the hallway to the living room and Emily followed after her.

"You're leaving tonight?" Emily asked as she tugged on the collar of her shirt. It was getting hard to breathe.

"Yes." Marielle set her suitcase by the front door.

"What about work?"

"I'm taking a personal leave of absence," Marielle replied as she picked up her purse and started rummaging around inside it.

"How long will you be gone?"

"I don't know." Marielle looked at her now and Emily could see the same pain as she was feeling reflected in her girlfriend's eyes. "Right now I've taken two weeks and I'll see how I feel after that."

"I can't believe you're leaving me," Emily murmured to herself as she dropped down to sit on the coffee table. "What is it about me that drives every girl I love to leave me?"

"This will be good for us, Emily."

"How can you walking out on me be good for us?" Emily snapped.

"Because you need time and space to decide what it is or who it is you want," Marielle said simply.

"I want you," Emily replied just as simply.

"Oh, chérie," Marielle murmured as she walked over to stand in front of Emily. "Maybe you do. Right here, right now, you say you want me. But what about tomorrow? Or next week? Or next year?"

"I don't know what you're asking me."

"Emily, can you look me in the eye and tell me you don't still have feelings for Alison?"

"I admitted to you already that I do," Emily sighed tiredly. "I can't help that, Mari, but all Alison has ever done is hurt me. It's inevitable that seeing her again brought up these old feelings, but now I can finally put them to rest. I love you, Mari, and I'm committed to us."

"Her shadow has always hung over us."

"I never lied to you about what losing her did to me," Emily said defensively.

"No. And I thought if I loved you enough it would be enough to heal you."

"I'm not a bird with a broken wing," Emily scowled.

"But she did leave you broken, chérie. You even told me so the first night I met you, remember?"

She'd told Marielle how Alison had broken her, had been honest right from the start that she wasn't in a place to be in a relationship with anyone. But once she and Mari decided to date, Emily focused on moving forward, not looking back, and Emily didn't think it was fair of Marielle to throw it up in her face after all this time.

"Mari, what do you want me to do? Whatever it is, I'll do it."

"You need to let me go."

"No," Emily choked as she surged to her feet and pulled Marielle to her before she kissed her desperately. Marielle submitted and Emily felt triumphant for a moment, but then Marielle tore her lips away and pulled out of Emily's arms.

"Please," Marielle gasped as she lifted her fingers to her lips. "Please just give me this space right now Emily."

Marielle's phone rang and she walked over and grabbed it off the counter.

"Hello," she said as she answered it. "Yes, I'll be right down. My cab is here," she said as she ended her call.

"Please, Mari," Emily pleaded softly. "Don't do this to me, to us."

"I'm not leaving forever. I just think we both need some time to think and a little distance to do it."

"I don't need distance," Emily argued.

"Well I do," Marielle replied straightforwardly. "If you love me, you'll give this to me."

Emily realized there was nothing she could do to stop Marielle from leaving so she just nodded her head.

Marielle grabbed her purse from the table and stuffed her phone inside before slipping the strap over her shoulder.

She grabbed her suitcase and then walked to the door and opened it. She finally turned to look at Emily who still stood in the same spot, stunned, as she attempted and failed to blink back tears.

"Au revoir, mon amour," Marielle whispered before she turned and walked down the hallway. Emily watched helplessly as Marielle entered the elevator and the doors closed behind her. She swiped at the tears on her cheeks.

Emily stood there for a long time, looking down the long hallway, before finally closing the door. Feeling numb and empty Emily walked down the hall and into the bedroom. She sat on the edge of the bed and in a matter of seconds she turned and fell forward, grabbing handfuls of the duvet as she buried her face in it.

Emily started to cry, sobbing harder than she had in years.

* * *

**French Translations:**

_"_Attend!_" _Wait!

"Emily ne mentait pas quand elle disait que tu manipulais tout le monde pour servir tes propres intérêts." Emily wasn't kidding when she said you manipulate things for your own advantage.

"Comment oses-tu, pétasse!" How dare you, you bitch!

"Au revoir, mon amour." Goodbye, my love.

**Second Author's Note:**

So as I was posting I just noticed that the reviews for this story have just about reached the same number as Mermaid and I'm only halfway through this story. I have to say that makes me positively giddy.

So thanks again everyone. Knowing you're enjoying my writing means the world to me.


	6. Chapter 6

**Disclaimer: I still don't own anything PLL.**

**Hi everyone. **

**This chapter turned into a beast. It was going on almost 23k words so I had to split it in half because the second half is still a mess and I wouldn't have gotten anything posted this weekend if I didn't.**

**Thanks, as always, for reading and reviewing and for your patience. **

**I know I owe a lot of you replies to your reviews. I'm completely behind but I will get to them eventually. Please know that even if I don't reply to a review I still read all of them and appreciate so much that you take the time to leave a few words.**

**I'll have another short author's note at the end of the chapter about my updating schedule from now on.**

**Thanks again for taking this ride with me. And thanks as always to Sophie for the translations.  
**

**Oh….and a just little tidbit of information….. This is the chapter that gave this story its name.**

**Enjoy!**

* * *

**Chapter 6**

Emily went through the motions robotically as she beat the egg whites to a soft peak for the chocolate soufflé she was making. Since Marielle left for France over two weeks ago, Emily had been doing almost everything robotically, feeling the loss of her girlfriend like the absence of a limb.

She and Marielle had spoken only once since she'd been away but they had texted a handful of times. Marielle said she wanted space so Emily was giving it to her. It wasn't easy, but she didn't have much of a choice.

And it was ironic because she told Alison that she would have given the blonde space if she'd asked for it after what happened with Courtney. But in reality, Emily wasn't sure if she would have been able to. It was more difficult than she thought it would be to give the woman you love space when she was suffering.

The hustle and bustle of the kitchen around her drowned out her thoughts temporarily as she grabbed the bowl with the chocolate base she'd made earlier. She folded the egg whites into the base, using a rubber spatula, gently cutting down through center before lifting up from the bottom of bowl. Turning the bowl, she steadily continued to cut down and lift up the base until it was just combined.

Emily was thankful for the mindless work because her brain was on overdrive lately. She still hadn't seen Alison since the night outside her house, but more than once she found herself jogging in the direction of the blonde's condo, only to stop herself, usually only a few houses away.

She was sure Cece must have told Alison she'd been by, but the blonde never tried to contact her either.

Emily frowned as she poured the soufflé into ramekins and then slid them into the oven. No matter what she did, she hadn't been able to get Alison out of her mind. She was thinking about her more than Marielle and it consumed Emily with guilt. But finding out Alison sought her out in Paris two years ago was like a punch in the gut. Marielle told Emily her side of what happened but the brunette needed to know Alison's side of it.

Why would she come all that way only to turn around and leave without letting Emily see her?

As she closed the oven door Emily heard her name from behind her.

"Hey, boss," Emily greeted as she turned and found Pierre smiling at her.

"Now you have twenty five minutes for the soufflé to cook. Why don't you take your break," he suggested as he glanced at the clock to indicate she was late taking her normally scheduled break.

"Let me just clean these up," Emily said as she started gathering the dirty bowls.

"I'll get those," he said as he put his hand on her arm. "You have a guest anyway."

It wasn't a suggestion and Emily knew it.

"I'm not expecting anyone," Emily replied but for a split second she thought maybe it was Marielle. However, her girlfriend had texted just yesterday to say she was returning on Sunday and they would talk then.

"She just finished dinner," Pierre replied as he took the bowls from Emily's hands. "And she asked if she could speak to you before she left."

Emily realized it had to be Alison and she was sure she looked like a deer in the headlights because of the way Pierre chuckled.

"Don't look so afraid, my dear; she gave your soufflé the highest praise."

Emily couldn't stop the curve of her lips upward. Alison was so predictable when it came to chocolate. Then Emily's lips straightened and she sighed.

"She's on the side patio," Pierre said before she had a chance to ask.

Emily looked at her watch, calculating how much time she had because she didn't want to risk burning the soufflé, but Pierre just patted her on the shoulder as he walked past, on his way to give the dirty bowls to the dishwasher.

"I'll take care of the soufflé. Take all the time you need."

Emily felt a rush of affection for the older man, who she viewed like a father figure in the absence of her own.

"Two of them need to be filled with crème anglais."

"I got it. I can read the tickets," he said as he waved her away. "Now go. But remove your toque before you leave the kitchen."

Emily smiled again because Pierre didn't like the chef's to wear their hats outside the kitchen even though in most restaurants it was required. But Pierre wasn't like most restaurant owners.

Despite her reluctance, Emily found herself walking through the dining room and out to the patio. It was full, as she expected, but she caught sight of Alison, immediately, sitting alone at a small table in the corner. The hedge behind her was covered in small white Christmas lights and the cluster of votives in the center of the table flickered gently, both casting an ethereal glow on the beautiful blonde. She was smiling softly, almost hesitantly, and the sight of her slammed straight into Emily's chest and took the brunette's breath away.

And once again Emily realized how intensely screwed she was.

She shouldn't still have these feelings for Alison. The sight of her shouldn't make Emily's heart race, nor should it fill her with the desire to walk straight over to the blonde and kiss her breathless. But it did and Emily felt her hands shake slightly at she approached.

"Hi," Alison said quietly. Emily could tell the blonde was nervous because she was wringing her fingers together and Emily took note that her hand was no longer in the brace she'd had the last time Emily saw her.

"Hi, Alison," Emily said as she stepped up to the edge of the table. "What are you doing here?"

Alison frowned at Emily's question. "I was having dinner," she replied as if it were obvious.

"But why here?" Emily asked and she knew she was being abrupt, but despite how perfect and beautiful and breathtaking Alison looked, Emily was not ready to see her.

Alison looked at Emily for a moment and then answered slowly. "I like French food and Pierre said I always have a standing reservation if I want one."

Emily smiled now despite the pounding of her heart in her chest. She placed her hands on the back of the chair across from Alison.

"He was thrilled with the article in _Food &amp; Wine_ magazine. Business has been insane since it came out."

"Yes, he told me." Alison smiled again and Emily was sure it was the most beautiful sight she'd ever seen. "Thus my standing reservation even on a Friday night."

When Emily didn't say anything in response, Alison cleared her throat. "Cece said you stopped by the house a couple weeks ago."

"Uh, yeah, I did," Emily replied a bit awkwardly because she wasn't sure what to say to Alison about it.

"Was there a reason for your visit?" the blonde asked curiously. She could see Emily's cheeks flush, even in the muted light, and it sent a frisson of longing straight into Alison's lower abdomen.

She had been climbing the walls for the last several weeks waiting for Emily to seek her out. When she returned from her shoot in New York, she was devastated to learn Emily came by while she was away. She was ecstatic it happened so quickly, having assumed it would take at least a couple weeks for her to calm down enough to even be willing to talk to Alison at all. But then when the brunette didn't come back again, Alison started to worry that she'd lost her chance to tell her side of things. She could only imagine what Marielle had told Emily about their meeting Paris and Alison felt compelled to set the record straight.

Finally she couldn't wait any longer and decided she'd given Emily enough space and it was time to state her intentions.

For better or for worse.

"We needed to talk after that bombshell, Alison," Emily replied obviously.

"You say that to me a lot," Alison mused.

Emily scowled at Alison's rather blasé attitude, but then she wasn't the one that was lied to.

"Probably because every time I see you, you drop something huge on me."

"Em," Alison started to say as she leaned forward, knowing she was about to drop yet another bombshell on her mermaid, but Emily shook her head.

"We can't do this here," the brunette hissed softly, trying not to make a scene. "This is where I work, Alison, and I'm in the middle of my shift."

"I can wait until you get off," Alison offered as she sat back again.

"I don't know," Emily said as she looked down at her watch. The soufflé was close to being done.

"Unless you have to get home right away?" Alison added, trying to feel out where Emily and Marielle might be.

But Emily didn't fall for it. Telling Alison about her and Marielle was not something Emily was ready for either. In all honesty, she didn't know what to say about it because she didn't know where she and her girlfriend stood. And it wasn't Alison's business anyway.

"I have to get back into the kitchen," Emily replied rather than answer. "I have soufflé coming out of the oven in a few minutes."

Alison frowned again. She refused to let the brunette get away without the two of them talking. It had taken too much courage for her to even come here and she was determined to follow it through.

"Well now it's my turn to say it. We need to talk, Em." Emily started to open her mouth but Alison rushed on, refusing to be deterred. "I know you're mad at me again but I think it's only fair you let me tell my side of the story."

The blonde tried not to plead but she was desperate.

"Fine," Emily ultimately conceded seeing the anxiety in Alison's eyes. Those blue depths were always her downfall. "I'll be off by ten or ten thirty."

Alison looked down at her watch. It was only eight thirty. That gave her almost two hours to psyche herself up again.

"Do you want to come to my place when you're done?" she asked as she brushed some imaginary crumbs off the table cloth. "Or do you want me to come back here?"

"I'll come to your place." Emily replied as she stepped back. She just hoped that decision didn't turn out to be a colossal mistake.

"Okay," Alison said as her heart thumped with anticipation in her chest.

"I'll see you in a couple of hours then," Emily said before she turned to walk away, but the soft sound of Alison's voice stopped her.

"Oh, Em."

"Yeah," the brunette said as she looked over her shoulder.

Alison's lips were curved and the dimples in her chin and left cheek were more pronounced than Emily had seen it in a long time. "The chocolate soufflé was to die for," Alison half sighed and half moaned breathlessly.

The sound made Emily's lower abdomen clench.

"Thanks," Emily replied as she swallowed back a moan of her own.

By the time she made it back to the kitchen and found Pierre just taking the soufflé out of the oven, Emily was sure Alison DiLaurentis Fields was going to be the death of her.

###################

Alison and Pepe paced the length of the living room waiting for Emily to arrive. It was almost eleven and the brunette should have been there already. The restaurant was only a few blocks from the condo so Alison was starting to wonder if she was going to show up at all.

What if she changed her mind?

What if Marielle forbade her from coming over?

What if something happened to her on the way?

The last thought caused Alison to start panicking and she was about to grab her keys and go looking for Emily when the doorbell rang.

Pepe bounded to the door barking excitedly, almost as if he knew who was on the other side.

"Shush, Pepe," Alison scolded as she strode toward the door and pulled it open.

"Where have you been?" she demanded but she felt herself begin to calm at the sight of Emily safe and beautiful on her doorstep. The brunette had changed out of her uniform and let her hair down, so it was flowing glorious and freely over her shoulders.

How was it possible one woman could be so fucking beautiful?

Emily arched a brow. "We had some late customers."

Pepe bumped Emily with his nose before weaving around her legs, always excited to see her. She reached down and patted his head.

"Pepe, leave her alone," Alison scolded the dog as she stepped back to let Emily in. "I was getting worried something happened to you."

"I was only a few blocks away. What was likely to happen?" Emily asked as she stepped into the living room. Like the first time she was there, the brunette was assaulted by the unforgettable and alluring scent of Alison in the space. It was combination of Jasmine and Freesia and it made Emily want to close her eyes and just inhale deeply.

"We live in Los Angeles, Em," Alison replied as she closed the door. "And you're a woman out on a bicycle, alone late at night. You're just asking to get attacked you know."

"I know how to defend myself," Emily said as she moved deeper into the room, Pepe following at her heels and sitting down at her feet once she stopped. Her eyes were drawn to the mantle over the fireplace and fell once again on the photo of Alison and Cece in front of the Eiffel Tower, reminding Emily why she was here. "I took kickboxing in Paris."

Why was Alison not surprised? She took several years of self defense classes herself after Courtney. But the image of Emily kickboxing, sweating and flushed and fierce from exertion as she learned to defend herself, was like an aphrodisiac and it made Alison's entire body throb with need for the woman in front of her.

"Have a seat," Alison suggested as she tried to dispel the image from her head. Although it wasn't a command, Emily took it as one and stiffened.

"I'll stand. Thanks." Emily turned to face Alison now and she could see the anxiety radiating off the blonde. Alison would probably be much more comfortable if she sat down but Emily didn't dare. She didn't plan to stay long. She was getting her answers and she was leaving before she did something she couldn't take back.

"Do you want something to drink?" Alison asked feeling awkward and unsure all of a sudden. She'd been practicing what she was going to say to Emily all night and now that the brunette was here she was drawing a complete blank.

"I didn't come here to have a drink, Alison."

Alison nodded and started wringing her fingers together; Emily's standoffish behavior beginning to think this was a mistake.

"I don't know what your girlfriend told you about what happened-"

"Her name is Marielle," Emily interrupted as she crossed her arms over her chest. "She told me you know her name so please refer to her by it."

Emily didn't mean to sound curt but she was done playing games with Alison. Since the blonde had left the restaurant, all Emily could think about was what she planned to say to her. She wondered if Alison would try to throw Marielle under the bus, so to speak, and deflect the blame over what happened onto her.

Originally Marielle had tried to put most of the blame on Alison but, by the end, had admitted her own complicity in the lie. The more Emily thought about it the more she realized it didn't matter who was to blame. Both Marielle and Alison hurt her. And lied to her. And deceived her.

"I'm surprised _Marielle_ let you come over here," Alison said with a bit of the old Alison sarcasm slipping through, even though she held most of it back.

"Alison, let's not do this okay," Emily sighed as she dropped her arms. "That isn't why I came here."

"Do what?" Alison asked as she walked around the sofa to stand closer to Emily. She couldn't stand having so much distance between them.

Emily tensed slightly at Alison's proximity but she didn't step back. "For you to act passive aggressive about my relationship as you try to dig for information about it. My relationship with Mari is none of your business."

"All I said was I'm surprised she let you come over and you translate that to mean I want information about your relationship," Alison said as she scowled. "News flash, Em, I have no desire to know anything about your _relationship_."

Even just saying that word in relation to Emily and anyone else made Alison's skin crawl.

"Then why am I here?" Emily asked her voice sounding as tired and resigned as she was feeling. She didn't know how much more of this drama and inner conflict she could take. But her inner conflict wasn't Alison's fault. It was her own inability to let her feelings for the blonde go that was causing all of the problems.

"Because I think you should know my side of things," Alison said simply. "I know you're angry and hurt-"

"I'm not angry at you Alison," Emily shook her head as she dropped down onto the sofa despite her original insistence that she was going to remain standing. "At least no more than I was a couple of weeks ago."

"Huh?" Alison looked at her surprised and confused and, under different circumstances, it might have made Emily laugh because Alison was so seldom taken off guard. But there was nothing funny about any of this.

"You didn't owe me anything, Alison. Marielle is the one who owed me honesty about your visit."

Alison sat down on the other end of the sofa, bewilderment etching her features. Pepe walked around the sofa and sat on the rug beside her feet. To an untrained eye he was just settling down for a nap. But to Alison, she knew he sensed her anxiety and it was his way of providing his unwavering support for the blonde. She reached down and scratched his back.

"You're completely blowing my mind right now," Alison said after a moment. "I was expecting to have to defend myself again."

"You did nothing less than what I would have expected based on past experience," Emily replied honestly and Alison gritted her teeth in response. While what Emily said wasn't completely unexpected, the blonde wasn't sure her and Emily being completely honest with each other was going to work out so well.

"Why's that? Because I'm so selfish and uncaring?" Alison couldn't hold back the retort this time. Emily didn't have time to answer before Alison barreled on. "I'm never going to live my past down, am I?" the blonde hissed as she scowled. As it turned out she was going to have to defend herself again. "No matter what I do or how much I've changed, you're still always going to see me as that mean and self-centered fifteen year old bitch."

"I don't see you like that anymore, Alison," Emily said as she looked at the blonde, her gaze never wavering as she spoke. "Not after the other day. And I never saw you like that except for the times you hurt me. Unfortunately you hurt me a lot, Ali."

"I know I did," Alison almost screeched and Pepe lifted his head off his paws to survey the situation. Satisfied Alison wasn't in any danger, he put his head back down and closed his eyes. "But you hurt me too, you know. Everyone always remembers how much I've hurt them but also, conveniently, never remembers how much they've hurt me."

"I know I hurt you too Alison," Emily admitted, trying to remain calm. It wouldn't do either of them any good if they were both screeching. "I'm not putting all the blame for our past on to you."

"Well it fucking feels like it," Alison growled harshly.

Emily wasn't fazed. She stopped being afraid of Alison's harsher side a long time ago.

"Neither one of us is blameless but you rejected me and ran from me so many times I guess I'm just not surprised that you did it again," Emily said as she shrugged.

"Running was my default for a really long time, Em," Alison said defensively as she picked imaginary lint on the cushion beside her. "And when I came by and you weren't alone-"

Emily held up her hand to stop Alison. "I get why you left that night, Ali. But what I don't understand is why didn't you come back the next day?"

Alison scowled as she remembered the feeling when that door opened and it wasn't Emily on the other side. "Maybe because I showed up on your doorstep with my heart in my hand and found a half naked girl in your apartment."

"You came all that way and then just left because a girl answered my door?" Emily asked incredulously.

"It was pretty clear what the two of you had been doing since her tits were practically hanging out." Alison's scowl deepened.

Emily frowned. "Did you expect me to just continue to pine for you forever?"

"No," Alison barked as she stood up. "I wanted you to move on and find happiness."

"Then why were you so surprised that I did?" Emily snapped right back.

"Because I've never moved on," Alison snarled as she clenched her fists. "I've loved you and ached for you and pined for you every fucking day."

That wasn't the way Alison wanted to tell Emily she loved her but once again her mouth ran away from her.

Emily sat there stunned by Alison's outburst. For the first time in a very long time she didn't doubt the blonde's words. She'd known Alison long enough and, at one time, well enough to know, when she snarled like that, the words coming out of her mouth were the absolute truth.

Alison breathed deeply through her nose as she struggled to calm herself. She was completely screwing this up. She didn't want to fight with Emily and she didn't want to attack her. She'd asked her here to ask her for a second chance and all she was doing was blowing it.

"Ali," Emily finally said as she looked up at the blonde.

"No, don't say anything. Please," Alison begged softly as she sat down again, this time closer to Emily. "Just let me speak or I won't get this out."

After a long moment Emily nodded her head.

Alison nibbled her bottom lip as she steeled herself to make her next confession.

"It took me a very long time to get up the courage to go to you. I'd been keeping an eye on you all along but-"

Emily did a double take. "I'm sorry but what did you just say?"

"I thought you were going to let me talk?" Alison huffed.

"You can't say something like that to me, Ali, and expect me to just let it go. What do you mean you were keeping an eye on me?"

Alison sighed. She was hoping that would have just gotten by Emily without much notice but she should have known better. Not much ever got by the brunette.

"I kept an eye on you over the years." Emily frowned and Alison wanted to smooth the wrinkle that formed between her eyebrows with her lips. "You can't be that surprised, Em. I told you I knew you were looking for me. How did you think I knew that?"

Emily's eyes blazed with anger now. "You knowing I was looking for you and you spying on me are two different things, Ali."

"I wasn't spying on you," Alison scoffed. "Every once in a while I came to Paris to make sure you were alright."

Emily shook her head. "I don't even know what to say about that."

"Then don't say anything. Just let me finish talking already," Alison snapped impatiently.

"Fine," Emily grumbled as leaned back and she crossed her arms over her chest again.

Alison took another deep breath for courage. "I didn't think I'd ever feel like I could be worthy of you. After everything I'd done and everything you'd been through because of me. All the things Courtney did to you-"

"Ali," Emily interrupted. "I told you already-"

"I know what you told me but that doesn't change how I felt back then," Alison interrupted her right back. "You suffered so much because of me and my psycho sister and I broke your heart over and over again." Alison stopped and took a long breath before continuing. "Megan and Cece and Jason convinced me to try even though I couldn't imagine you would ever be able to forgive me."

"You never gave me a chance to try," Emily accused.

"God, will you just shut up already," Alison groaned with frustration and did the only thing she could think of. She scooted closer, reached out and grabbed Emily by the face and kissed the living daylights out of her.

Before Emily could even begin to react, Alison pressed her back into the sofa again and climbed over her, straddling her lap as she slid her fingers into the brunette's glorious hair. The silky strands wrapped around her fingers and Alison flexed her fingers as her lips fused with Emily's in a hard bruising kiss.

She knew this was probably a horrible mistake but she didn't give a fuck at the moment. All she wanted to do was consume the girl she loved whole. So that's exactly what she tried to do.

Alison pressed her tongue between Emily's lips, forcing her way in, and moaned as the taste of the brunette hit her taste buds. She'd been starving for the taste of her since their last kiss in her studio, dreaming of doing it again, and the reality of it was more incredible than she remembered.

Emily felt her arousal and lust rush over her like a tidal wave. For the second time in less than a month Alison was kissing her. And while she knew it was wrong, she couldn't help but respond again to the blonde's advances. She gripped Alison tightly and pulled her body closer as she gave herself over and allowed Alison to devour her.

Alison's breasts pressed against her own and Emily felt like she'd died and gone to heaven. The blonde rolled her hips and ground down on her and Emily gasped into Alison's mouth allowing the blonde to thrust her tongue deeper as Emily met her eagerly.

The kiss lengthened and deepened, their tongues tangling and tasting as their hands wandered over each other. Emily felt lightheaded as her teeth closed around Alison's tongue and the blonde groaned in response, digging her nails into Emily's scalp as she continued to wiggle and writhe on Emily's lap.

Of its own volition, Emily's hand slipped between them and cupped Alison's breast. The brunette brushed her thumb over the hard protruding nipple in the center as her fingers closed around and squeezed the soft globe. It fit perfectly in her hand and the brunette could have sworn her fingers actually tingled.

Alison responded by choking softly into Emily's mouth and trembling on top of her before pulling her lips away.

"Em," she moaned long and low as her head fell back.

Emily took advantage of her movement and grabbed the hem of Alison's shirt and shoved it up. Her mind was clouded with lust and even though she knew she shouldn't, Emily leaned forward and wrapped her lips around Alison's nipple through the silk fabric of her bra.

To say Emily was a boob girl was an understatement. She absolutely loved breasts. She loved the look of them and the feel of them. She loved to caress them and squeeze them and lavish attention on them with her tongue, up and over the soft mounds until she could take hard pebbled nipples between her lips. They were the first things she noticed about a woman even though that knowledge made her feel a bit like a jerk sometimes.

And God had given Alison glorious ones. Emily had spent years dreaming and obsessing over the brief glance she got of Alison's body in the locker room so long ago. Alison had matured and filled out earlier than she and her other friends and it was that moment, so long ago, that Emily realized she would forever believe that breasts should be worshiped for the magnificent body parts they were.

Alison's fingers flexed in Emily's hair again and she arched her back. She felt the sensation of Emily's lips and tongue all the way down her body and settle between her thighs. The pulsing of desire in her body skyrocketed as Emily's name once again slipped past her lips. She'd wanted this for so long, ached for it for so long, she felt almost paralyzed from the pleasure of it.

Alison arched her back deeper, pressing Emily's mouth harder against her as her moans morphed into a shorter rapid panting that matched the pulsing between her thighs.

Lost to the feel of the blonde, Emily again took advantage of what she was offering and she pushed Alison's bra up, needing to take the blonde's bare nipple in her mouth now. When the flavor of Alison's nipple hit her taste buds, Emily groaned around the soft flesh.

Alison's body jerked and shuddered as Emily suckled her. The brunette swirled her tongue around one nipple while her fingers teased and tugged on the other. Alison rocked her hips harder and faster before leaning up and burying her face in the soft chocolate strands of hair just above Emily's ear.

"Em," she whimpered, the throbbing between her thighs increasing in intensity, and she knew her orgasm was not far off.

Stimulation to her breasts, particularly her nipples, was the one thing that could set Alison's entire body on fire in an instant, propelling her arousal through the stratosphere in seconds. More than once she'd come close to coming from the stimulation of her breasts alone, but unless the foreplay and touching progressed to other parts of her body, it would usually just fall short. But Alison had no doubt, if Emily kept up what she was doing with her tongue, the blonde was going to come like a freight train right here and now.

In an attempt to take more of Alison's breast into her mouth, Emily's hand cupped and lifted it higher and her fingers brushed over a jagged scar beneath the right one. Instantly Emily's mind cleared as she realized what she was feeling. It was the scar from when Courtney had stabbed Alison as a child. The one Emily never knew was there, despite her glimpse of Alison in the locker room when they were fifteen. The shock of it beneath her fingers cut through the lust coursing through Emily's body and she pulled her lips away, before bucking and scrambling out from beneath the blonde.

"Damn it, Alison," she panted as she stumbled to her feet. "What the hell are we doing?"

"Something we both obviously want," Alison gasped from behind her and Emily turned to glare at the blonde just as she was pulling her bra back down over her breasts, concealing them once again. Her eyes momentarily caught sight of something dark on the top swell, but it was quickly covered as Alison tugged her shirt down.

"I won't apologize for that," Alison said firmly once she'd caught her breath.

"I can't do this," Emily said as she dropped her head into her hands, sliding her fingers into her hair and tugging on the strands with frustration.

The strangled and tortured tone of Emily's voice matched the feelings churning through Alison's body.

"Why not?" Alison challenged. "You can try to deny it all you want but you clearly crave me as much as I crave you."

"That's not the point," Emily replied, not denying Alison's words. She wanted the blonde so much every cell in her body ached with it.

"Then what is the point?" Alison stood up abruptly. She wanted to scream and rage but she had to remain calm or she'd surely blow this. "What is the point of both of us being here right now?"

"You asked me to come over," Emily replied as she released her hair and opened her eyes, but she continued to look at the floor. The churning in her body was slowing but she could still feel and taste Alison against her tongue.

"That's not what I mean, Em," Alison replied as she took a step toward Emily. This time the brunette stepped back. She couldn't be that close to Alison or she was sure she would reach out and grab her again. "I mean here. Both of us here in Santa Monica. Only blocks from each other."

Alison's eyes flashed with anguish as she again remembered the events in Paris. "I tried to stay away. When I saw that you were happy with Marielle I walked away. Even though every step I took made me want to crawl in a hole and die."

"Is that why you didn't come back?" Emily's eyes whipped up to meet Alison's.

"Of course it is." Alison threw her arms up in the air with exasperation. "I sat outside your building all night fighting with myself. I wanted to go back up there and toss Marielle out on her ass. But when I saw the two of you outside your building the next morning," Alison swallowed as the image of Emily in Marielle's arms flashed before her. "I know your body language, Em. I could see you were genuinely happy. How could I selfishly tear that away from you by coming back into your life?"

"Damn it, Alison," Emily growled under her breath as she walked around the chair, needing more space, before she turned back to look at the blonde furiously. "I'll tell you exactly what I told Mari. That wasn't your decision to make!" Now it was Emily's turn to throw her arms up in exasperation. "Why does everyone always try to make decisions for me?"

"Well I'm not trying to make the decision for you now," Alison replied, a little more calm than she was a minute ago. "But I'm not going to just walk away again either. I can't."

"What do you want from me Ali?" Emily asked with a strangled tone. She couldn't take much more of this or she was going to crack.

"What I've always wanted," Alison said truthfully and plainly as she looked at the girl she loved. "You, Em. I want you. It's that simple."

Emily closed her eyes in defeat. "This is the farthest thing from simple there is."

"You're wrong," Alison argued but kept her voice as even as she could as she finally confessed her feelings, clearly, so there was no confusion in Emily's mind. "I love you, Emily. I've always loved you. I was too selfish and scared to admit it when I should have. I was too wrapped up in myself and what people thought of me. I was too consumed by fear that I wasn't good enough for you." Tears welled in Alison's eyes. "You were this sweet and beautiful and kind girl. You wouldn't hurt a fly, Em, and here I was hurting everyone around me, especially you."

Alison wrung her hands together again as she continued, unable to stop now that she started. "I knew I'd never be the kind of person who deserved you, who'd be worthy of your love. And when I realized you had feelings for me, my god, it terrified me even more. Instead of facing that fear, I turned it around and I used it against you and manipulated you to make myself feel better."

Emily stood still and silent, as Alison spoke, mesmerized by the vulnerability and honesty the blonde was finally letting shine through.

"I was a truly terrible person, Em. And I was an awful friend to you. And I know I hurt you in ways I'm probably still even unaware of, but I'm not that person anymore. I _am_ capable of love. And maybe the timing sucks because you have this whole life you've built for yourself that doesn't and couldn't ever include me," Alison choked over her words but forced herself to continue. "But I can't just walk away without telling you the truth. Because the truth is all I've got now."

The room remained silent for several minutes as Emily digested Alison's confessions and Alison waited with bated breath for Emily's response. Pepe stood up and stretched and walked over to Alison. He butted his head against her hand to let her know he was there. She reached down and gripped the fur of his neck, needing his support.

"I don't know what you want me to say, Alison," Emily finally said softly.

Alison frowned because _that_ wasn't what she wanted the brunette to say. So she just went for broke and laid the last of her soul bare.

"I want you to say we can put the past behind us. I want you to say you still love me and want to give us a try. I want you to let me show you that you can love me and not have it hurt you. And I want you to believe me when I tell you I love you and I will never hurt you again."

With each sentence Alison stepped closer, finally standing a hair's breath away from Emily by the end.

Emily stepped back and shook her head. "I'm with Mari now."

"I know," she said evenly, hoping her voice wouldn't betray her desire to weep. "And I'm not trying to discount your feelings for her. I'm really not. I'm sure she's a very nice person."

"She is," Emily said struggling to hold on to some sense of sanity in this situation.

"I hate that you're with her," Alison admitted reluctantly but honestly. "And I hate that she's had you all this time and I didn't. But I'm grateful to her for making you happy when I couldn't."

"I love her Alison," Emily said plainly because it was the truth.

Alison's knowledge of that truth didn't stop the pain that came swiftly and brutally. She swallowed and breathed slowly as she formulated a response.

"But are you in love with her?" Alison asked the question that could make or break her only chance at happiness.

"It's the same thing," Emily replied.

"No it isn't," Alison said as her heart slammed in her chest like a hammer. "You can love someone and not be _in love_ with them."

"Not when you're intimate with them," Emily insisted.

Alison wanted to scream.

"Fucking someone doesn't mean you're in love with them. I've fucked plenty of women and men I didn't love."

The words were out of her mouth before Alison could stop them. Damn it! That wasn't something she wanted to throw in Emily's face or the point she was trying to make.

The slight surprise Emily felt at Alison's admission was short lived because deep down Emily knew the blonde was bisexual. But hearing her admit it was what surprised the brunette the most.

"Okay, that didn't some out exactly as I intended it to," Alison grumbled before taking a deep breath, trying to get back on track.

Emily held back the retort that was on the tip of her tongue only because she could see how much Alison was truly struggling in front of her. The brunette was still reeling inside from the newfound knowledge that Alison had come looking for her over two years ago, wanting another chance, but only walked away because she thought Emily was happy in a relationship with Mari.

She had been happily _beginning_ a relationship with Mari back then. But if Emily had known Alison found her and loved her and wanted her, even now the brunette could admit, if only to herself, that she and Mari's relationship would have probably ended before it had ever had a chance to start.

And now Alison was confessing she still loved Emily and she wanted them to try to make a relationship work. Her current feelings for and relationship with Mari should be enough to compel the brunette walk away from Alison. But something was holding her feet in their spot like they were glued to the floor.

"Answer me this, Em," Alison continued when Emily never responded to her plea. "Does just the _thought_ of her leave you breathless? Does just the _thought_ of her make you ache with wanting? Does just the _thought_ of her touch make you tremble?"

Emily was about to answer "yes" but the words wouldn't come. She was always attracted to Marielle, ever since the first time she met her. Even though Emily made it clear that first night that she wasn't interested in dating Mari, she was still very attracted to her. When they finally started dating Emily could say with absolute truth that she ached for and wanted Marielle. Their sex life had always been hot and passionate but, as time passed, even though she was still attracted to her girlfriend and still wanted her, that breathless, aching, trembling feeling had faded. Emily knew that kind of relentless passion couldn't and didn't last. That was when a couple typically fell into comfort and affection with bursts of passion and desire.

But standing here in this room with Alison, Emily's entire body felt alive. She could feel the longing and the hunger and the yearning pulsing between them. Her entire body tingled and throbbed with wanting Alison. Her heart was racing in her chest and her palms were sweating and she felt like if she even touched the blonde at this moment, the two of them would spontaneously combust.

And it had always been like that with her. Even when Emily didn't know where Alison was, every time she even _thought_ she'd seen the blonde, the same thing would happen.

It never stopped.

It was still happening as recently as a few months ago when Emily was at LAX waiting to pick Marielle up. She'd almost plowed over an old woman in an attempt to not lose sight of a blonde she thought might have been her first love. And, in this moment, Emily finally admitted to herself that Alison always had and always would have that affect on her.

"You can't say it, can you?" Alison urged as she tilted her head, but Emily didn't dare reply. "Well I can say it about you. I can admit that right this very second it is taking every last ounce of strength I have to not jump on you and drag you to the floor and spend the next month lost between your thighs."

"Alison," Emily gasped at the image Alison's words evoked.

"What? It's the truth," Alison admitted breathlessly and honestly. "I know I have a lot to make up for but I'll spend the rest of my life doing it if you just let me."

"I can't trust you Alison." Once again the blonde felt the hurt of Emily's words come swiftly. "I can't trust you not to run again."

"I'm not going to run," Alison insisted fervently. "I'm done running, Em."

Emily swallowed thickly over the lump that had formed in her throat. "If you break me again, Alison, I won't survive it."

Alison wanted to say if she lost Emily again _she _wouldn't survive it but the blonde refused to use guilt tactics. The fact that it was a true statement was irrelevant.

Instead she just spoke the truth as she knew it.

"I can't promise I won't screw up again, Em. This is me we're talking about after all. But you will never doubt my love and commitment to you ever again. That I can promise."

"Alison we don't really know each other anymore. I don't know if we ever really did." Emily grasped at any excuse she could come up with because her heart couldn't comprehend the reality in front of her. The reality that Alison loved her and wanted her.

"Let's get to know each other again then," Alison implored in a last attempt to convince Emily to try. "Let me show you the person I am now. Not the Alison of the past. That girl is gone. Dead and buried with Courtney and my parents."

Emily heard the soft hiccup in Alison's voice at the last line and she wondered if the blonde would ever fully heal from the tragedies of her past. She wondered if that were even possible.

"I'm as far from perfect as anyone can get, but I love you, Emily," Alison confessed again. "And loving you is the one thing I intend to excel at. If there is anything I have any chance of attaining perfection at, it's loving you."

Emily swallowed past the lump in her throat once more and, with her heart full of regret, she said, "I can't."

As much as it killed her, Emily forced herself to turn away from what Alison was offering, both figuratively and literally. So she turned toward the door, but Alison grabbed her forearm and gripped it as tight as she dared.

"Em, please don't leave," Alison pleaded. "Not like this."

"I can't, Alison." Emily reiterated as she pried the blonde's fingers off her. The digits were warm and Emily wanted to lift them to her lips and kiss them. But instead she dropped them as if they burned her causing Alison's eyes, now wild with fear, to flash momentary with hurt. "I can't go back down this road with you. I'm committed to Mari and I'm going to make it work with her."

Alison felt her heart crack in the center of her chest. She always knew this was a very good possibility; that Emily would decide to stay with Marielle. Her mermaid was nothing if not completely loyal. But it didn't break Alison's heart any less. In fact, it made it worse because that loyalty could have been hers if she'd just been strong enough to stay.

"I don't think we should see each other anymore," Emily continued before Alison could respond.

Before Emily arrived, Alison was determined that she would do anything to convince the brunette to give her another chance, even if it meant begging. And she wasn't above begging, especially when it came to her mermaid. She had so much she wanted to say, so many arguments she wanted to give but she knew that look in Emily's eyes. That steady resolve that shone through when the brunette made up her mind and was determined to stick to it.

But what Emily didn't know was that her tenacity was nothing compared to the resolve Alison had.

"I'm not going to give up on you."

"You need to Alison. For both of us, please just let me go." Now it was time for Emily to plead.

"Asking me that is like asking me not to breathe, Em. I've felt like I haven't been able to breathe in years; not since before that night in the church when I was overcome with smoke and my lungs felt like they were collapsing. Not since my mother buried me alive and my lungs filled with dirt until I was choking." Alison inhaled a shuddering breathe as she blinked back tears that would no longer be held at bay. "Seeing you again, being with you again, kissing you again," Alison swallowed back the still lingering taste of Emily on her tongue. "I can finally _breathe again_, Em. I can finally breathe again."

Alison said the words twice because it was the absolute truth and Emily felt tears prick her eyes at Alison's heartfelt words. She ached to reach out to the blonde who she could see was starting to tremble where she stood. Emily wanted nothing more than for the rest of the world to disappear so maybe she and Alison would have a chance. But that was no more possible than time travel or being able to go back to do it all again.

"I'm sorry, Alison," Emily choked softly and she turned around again.

Pepe barked and scampered after her, doing exactly what Alison wanted to do herself. The dog stumbled into Emily when she slowed to open the door and he barked again, but it sounded more like a whimper as he butted his head against her thigh.

"Leave her alone, Pepe," Alison whispered as the tears finally broke free and slipped down her cheeks. She was paralyzed, unable to move or speak any other words. She felt her chest close up as Emily's fingers gripped Pepe's fur beneath his ear and scratched before she looked back at Alison.

Through the blur of her tears, Alison could see tears welling in her mermaid's eyes, as well, and she could feel the pain radiating off her even from five feet away.

"Goodbye, Alison." The words were soft and final.

The door closed behind Emily and Alison sunk slowly to her knees as the girl she loved walked away from her.

She didn't scream. She didn't sob uncontrollably. She couldn't move as the tears just continued to pour silently down her cheeks.

Pepe walked up to her, almost cautiously, and rested his head on her shoulder. She turned her face into his fur and by the time Alison had the strength to stand again, Pepe's fur was matted and drenched.

################

Two nights later Emily jumped up from the sofa when she heard the key in the front door. She'd asked Pierre if she could switch nights so she could be home when Marielle told her she would be returning from Paris. He was accommodating because Emily had gone in earlier in the day and prepared all the deserts that could be prepared in advance and made sure everything was set for any that needed to be cooked on demand. She had no doubt he agreed because of how frazzled she looked. Emily had been more of a wreck for the last forty eight hours than she was after Alison left Rosewood.

What should have been final closure for her and the blonde was anything but. Emily had barely slept, barely ate, and could barely remember the last two days because it felt like she was in a constant haze of pain and confusion and guilt. She hoped Marielle's return would make it all stop. But deep down Emily knew only one thing would make all of it go away.

Only one person.

The door pushed open and Marielle stepped inside. Emily breathed a sigh of relief as she took in the beautiful sight of her girlfriend and she felt her heart throb gently. She quickly walked over and threw her arms around the other brunette.

Marielle stiffened for a moment, and it didn't go unnoticed by Emily, but then she felt her girlfriend's arms wrap around her. But this hug was different. This wasn't Marielle's usual full body hug. It was tentative and loose, like hugging an acquaintance you haven't seen in a while.

Emily refused to read anything into it and just hugged Marielle tighter.

"Mari, I'm so happy you're home," she breathed into her girlfriend's neck.

"Emily," Marielle said her name softly even as she let her arms drop and she shifted to indicate silently that she wanted to be released.

Emily stepped back and forced a smile. She saw the same smile on Marielle's lips.

Emily looked down and then back up again with confusion.

"Where's your suitcase?"

"I don't have one," Marielle admitted.

"Did the airline lose it?" Emily asked curiously.

"No," Marielle sighed as she stepped back and put a little more distance between them.

"I don't understand." Emily's confusion grew, especially when it took Marielle a minute to respond. She could see Marielle was hesitant to explain.

"I'm getting my own appartement," Marielle finally said softly.

"What?" Emily's stomach dropped. Surely she didn't hear her girlfriend right.

"I'm moving out and getting my own apartment," Marielle said again, using the English pronunciation of the word even though she knew Emily understood.

"Mari, no," Emily gasped, denial flooding through her.

"It's for the best, Emily," Marielle stepped toward the dining room and dropped her purse on the table.

"The best for who?" Emily snapped as the shock and denial turned to anger and hurt. "Isn't this a little drastic? We haven't even tried to-"

"Tried to what?" Marielle interrupted. "We can't just go back to the way it was or move on and pretend like this didn't happen."

Emily felt like she had the wind knocked out of her. "But you're just giving up. You're not even trying to fix this. You just ran away and now you come back and say you're moving out with no further explanation?"

"This wasn't an easy decision for me, Emily," Marielle snapped now as she crossed her arms over her chest.

"But you just went and made it on your own," Emily argued. "Don't I have any say in the matter?"

"I've missed you, chérie," Marielle said softly instead of answering and it took Emily a few seconds to get her bearings.

"I've missed you too, Mari," Emily replied fervently. "Please let's just talk this out." She saw the determination in Marielle's eyes but she wasn't willing to give up yet. "If you still want to go after we talk, I won't try to stop you but please let's just try."

"I've had much time to think, Emily," Marielle said as she looked around the apartment briefly. When her eyes met Emily's again, they reflected resignation. "About you. And me. And Alison."

"Alison isn't an issue," Emily insisted. "I told her two nights ago that I want us to make this work. I'm not gonna see her again."

Marielle tilted her hear curiously. "How many times did you see her while I was gone?"

"That was the first time," Emily replied quickly and she realized that it probably sounded like a lie because of how rapidly she spoke. Sure enough, Marielle looked at her skeptically.

"That was the first and only time I saw her," Emily insisted but at the same time she didn't feel like it was right she had to defend herself to Marielle, about who she'd seen, when her girlfriend had just walked away from her.

"What did you tell her?"

"That I was staying with you and we shouldn't see each other again," Emily replied honestly and she felt another pang in her chest as a result.

"Why?" Marielle's expression was thoughtful as she asked the question.

"What do you mean why?" Emily asked exasperated. "I thought it would make you happy if I never saw her again."

"This isn't about me, Emily," Marielle insisted. "This is about you and why you want us to stay together."

"You're my girlfriend, Mari. And I know we both made some mistakes but that shouldn't mean we just walk away from each other. It shouldn't be that easy."

"And it shouldn't be this hard," Marielle said simply. "People can't stay together out of guilt or obligation."

"That isn't what this is," Emily insisted fiercely. How dare Marielle insinuate that was what this was?

"Then what is it?" her girlfriend asked.

It took Emily a minute to decide what to say and she wondered what that meant. "I don't want to lose you," she finally said.

"Mais pourquoi?" Marielle asked again.

"What do you mean why?" Emily's brow furrowed.

"Why don't you want to lose me, chérie?"

"Because I love you," Emily replied the only thing she thought would make a difference. "And I don't want to be without you."

Marielle huffed out a frustrated breath, clearly not getting the answer she wanted from Emily.

"You don't want to be without me or you don't want to be alone because then you would have no excuse to turn Alison away?" Marielle challenged her and Emily stiffened.

"What kind of question is that?"

For a second time, rather than answer, Marielle asked. "Do you want to know when I finally realized this wasn't going to work?"

Emily's annoyance faded almost as quickly as it came and was replaced with curiosity. "When?"

"When you didn't come after me," the brunette replied as she moved closer to Emily for the first time, close enough to almost touch.

Emily furrowed her brow again. "You told me to give you space."

"Yes I did," Marielle agreed. "But so did Alison six years ago. And you still traveled halfway around the world searching for her. If you hadn't, we never would have met."

"Mari," Emily started to say but Marielle just pressed her fingertips to Emily's lips.

"You couldn't stop yourself from going after her even when she told you to stay away."

Emily pulled Marielle's fingers from her lips and lowered their joined hands between them. "I was young and stubborn and desperate."

As she said the words, Emily realized that the desperation she felt when Marielle left was not even half of what she felt when Alison left.

"And you were in love," Marielle added softly.

"I love you Mari," Emily replied sincerely as she squeezed her girlfriend's fingers gently.

"I know you do," Marielle said as she sighed sadly. "I don't doubt that, Emily."

"Then what's the problem?"

Why was her girlfriend giving up without trying to fight for them?

"You still love her too," Marielle replied as she pulled her hand away from Emily's. "Or should I say you're still _in love_ with her."

There was that "in love" distinction, again, that Alison threw at her the other night.

"You always have been. I think I've always known that, even if I tried to pretend it wasn't true." Marielle sighed again as she ran her fingers through her hair. "If she never came back into your life maybe we could have made a life together. But there would still have been a part of you missing. There was always a part of you that was never mine."

Emily wanted to dispute Marielle's words but she couldn't.

"You finally have the chance with her you always wanted. You have to seize it, chérie, or you will live to regret it. And I don't want you to regret anything about us."

"What makes you think she even wants me back?" Emily asked still not understanding how Marielle could be so certain they couldn't make this work.

"Because she told me she does," Marielle replied simply.

And now it all made sense. Why Marielle was so quick to run away. Why she wouldn't even entertain any of Emily's pleas to reconsider. Why Marielle was now standing in front of her willing to step aside to give Emily the chance at the one thing she'd always dreamed of.

Marielle knew her so well. Apparently too well.

"Love like that is rare, Emily. And I can't compete with it. I don't even want to try."

Emily's eyes dropped and she shook her head miserably. "You don't have to compete with Alison," she said but the words sounded hollow even to her.

"Yet when you say that you can't even look me in the eye," Marielle replied and Emily looked up quickly, unaware of what she'd done until Marielle pointed it out.

She opened her mouth to reply but then shut it again almost as quickly. She couldn't lie to Marielle any more than she could continue to lie to herself. She _was_ still in love with Alison. She had always been in love with Alison. She still wanted the blonde with every fiber of her being. The thought of being without her, of never seeing her again, even after what she'd said to Alison, made Emily feel exactly how Alison had described.

She couldn't breathe.

But that didn't mean letting Mari go was easy. It hurt deeply and Emily knew it would take a long time to heal.

"You're breaking my heart here Mari." Emily's face crumbled as, once again, she knew she couldn't stop a girl she loved from walking away from her.

"Better we break each other's hearts now."

She'd never wanted to hurt Marielle. Like Paige had done for her high school, Marielle put Emily back together when Alison broke her. But the brunette was right; gratitude for her presence at a time when Emily needed her was no more a reason to stay together than guilt or obligation.

"I'm so sorry," Emily whispered brokenly as she leaned against the dining room table. All of a sudden she felt like she might fall if she tried to continue to stand on her own.

"Me too, chérie," Marielle replied as she lifted her hand to Emily's face and caressed her cheek. "But I will always cherish our time together and be grateful for that little part of your heart I had for as long as I did."

Emily reached up and held Marielle's hand to her cheek. "You will always have part of my heart, Mari."

"And you mine," Marielle replied as she leaned forward and kissed Emily on the cheek gently. Emily closed her eyes and savored the feeling.

"When are you going?" she asked once she'd opened her eyes again.

"Tonight."

"What? But you just got back," Emily asked surprised she was leaving so quickly.

Marielle shook her head. "No. I got back a few days ago. I've been staying at a hotel and I just rented an apartment yesterday."

As her words sunk in, Emily realized she wasn't so surprised. Marielle was a planner and didn't do anything without having a contingency in place. "So that's it? You just came here to tell me you're leaving me?"

"Don't look at it like I'm leaving you. I'm letting you go so you can be with the girl you've always loved."

"But I love you too." Emily knew someday she would use the past tense of that word when it came to Marielle but today wasn't that day.

"This wasn't easy," Marielle said again. "It was the hardest decision I've ever had to make. And I'm not being a martyr, Emily. I'm just doing what I believe is right for all of us. You deserve the chance to find out if Alison truly is _l'amour de ta vie_ you believe her to be."

Emily already knew that answer. Even as she looked upon the woman in front of her and reflected on the depth of her feelings for her, it would never compare to what she felt for Alison. Alison was _the love of her life_ and always would be.

"I just pray she doesn't hurt you again," Marielle added as her eyes momentarily flashed with that French passion that was such an inherent part of her. "Because if she does, and I find out, she will have to deal with me."

The ferocity with which Marielle spoke those words left no doubt in Emily's mind that they were the truth.

"Will we see each other again?" Emily asked. "I don't want to lose you in my life, Mari."

Marielle smiled sadly and Emily knew the answer before she even spoke.

"I think for now it's best we don't."

Emily could see how much Marielle was hurting but she was trying to put on a brave front. She really was one of the most amazing women Emily had ever met and the brunette would never regret having met and loved her.

Up until that moment, part of Emily wondered if she had the chance to go back and do it all again, would she take it.

But the answer was no.

For whatever reason, this was the path her life was supposed to take. This was the path she and Alison were meant to follow, no matter how painful it was for both of them, to find their way back to each other.

But Emily wouldn't give up her time with Marielle anymore than she would give up finally finding Alison again.

"I feel so numb; I don't even know what else to say."

"You don't have to say anything." Marielle's words echoed in Emily's ears as the memory of Alison using the same ones in her room senior year flashed through her mind. "How about, instead, we open up a bottle of wine and figure out how we are going to divvy up all of our stuff?" Marielle suggested as she motioned around the apartment.

"I don't think that's going to make me feel any less numb, unless I drink the entire bottle myself," Emily said drolly. The thought of splitting up all their combined belongings hadn't even crossed her mind but now that Marielle brought it up, the notion was daunting.

The only notion that was more daunting was whether or not Alison would still want her after the way Emily had broken her heart other night.

Marielle laughed a soft genuine laugh and the sound made Emily smile for the first time in what felt like weeks, maybe even months.

The brunette held her hand out to Emily as she smiled. "Tu es vraiment adorable quand tu es bourrée. Qu'est-ce que t'en dis, une fois de plus en l'honneur du bon vieux temps?"

Emily took Marielle's hand without hesitation and followed her into the kitchen because, yes, their time together deserved one last hurrah.

* * *

**French Translations:**

"Mais pourquoi" - **But why?**

"l'amour de ta vie" – t**he love of your life**

"Tu es vraiment adorable quand tu es bourrée. Qu'est-ce que t'en dis, une fois de plus en l'honneur du bon vieux temps?" - **You're very adorable when you're drunk. What do you say, once more for old time's sake?**

* * *

**Author's Note #2**

After much consideration, I am no longer going to commit to an updating schedule for this story.

What I think often gets overlooked is that my individual chapters are longer than many entire stories here. Although I have most of this story already written (I currently have still over 200 pages) my editing process is not a simple proof read, spell check and clean up the dialogue and description.

When I write I oftentimes leave chunks here and there unwritten (with just bullet points so I don't forget what I wanted to do there) but I always complete the majority of the story from beginning to end before I go back and edit anything. When I do, I fill in those gaps and, as is almost always the case, I end up taking scenes out, adding scenes in and sometimes completely rewriting some from scratch.

This is one of the reasons why I don't read anything for the most part when I'm in the middle of a story. I don't like to blur those lines between my story and what I may read.

Needless to say my editing process sometimes takes longer than the original writing. So committing to an updating schedule is clearly not fair to you or me.

My life is extremely busy these days with the launch of a new business and that is my priority. But I am committed to completing this story and I will. I'm just going to have to do it in my own time and I will update as often as I can. I appreciate the nudges though, they keep me motivated and it's nice to know people haven't lost interest in it.

The other 15k or so words of this chapter, which will now be Chapter 7, still need a lot of work, but I'm hoping it doesn't take as long as this first half did. This is a turning point in the story, though, so it's just taking extra time.

Thanks for your understanding.


	7. Chapter 7

**Disclaimer: I own nothing PLL.**

**Yay… I'm back sooner than I thought. This part was in much better shape than I thought so I was able to get through it much quicker, although I did add over 3K words during the edit.**

**The events of this chapter have been a looooong time coming… just over 88K words long. **

**Hope it was worth the wait.**

**Thanks for reading and reviewing and your patience as always. Your support and kind words make my heart happy.**

**Enjoy!**

* * *

**Chapter 7**

"What the fuck do _you_ want?"

The door in front of her swung open and Emily was faced with one very irate blonde. She knew it was late; she'd just gotten off work and part of her felt like she was actually still drunk from the two bottles of wine she and Marielle consumed the previous night. The two women drank until they got silly and then until they got sad. They shared a good long cry and then slept in each other's arms for the last time.

Emily barely dragged her ass out of bed in time for work and her hangover was the worst she could ever remember having. She burned two desserts before Pierre kicked her out of the kitchen and told her to go the hell home, and part of her wondered if she even had a job to go back to tomorrow.

But Emily couldn't wait another second to see Alison. She hadn't expected a warm welcome after the other night. She expected the need to grovel, at least a little, to get Alison to listen to her, but she also didn't expect this. She probably should have.

"You've got a lot of fucking nerve coming here," Cece spat as she crossed her arms and glared daggers at the brunette.

"Cece, I want to speak to Ali," Emily replied evenly even though she was tempted to snap back. She needed to get by the guard dog if she had any hope of seeing Alison.

"You've said all you need to say to her."

"This is between me and Alison," Emily insisted. "And you need to stay out of it."

"The fuck I do," Cece snapped. "I know I told you to cut her loose if you didn't want her, but did you have to be so fucking brutal about it?"

Emily cringed. She probably deserved that.

"I warned you, Americano-" Cece started but Emily cut her off.

"Cece, don't threaten me. I'm not afraid of you."

Cece's scowl deepened and Emily could have sworn she actually saw Cece's eyes flash. "You need to stay away. Go back to FiFi and let Ali finally get on with her life."

Despite being on the receiving end of her wrath, Emily appreciated Cece's instinct to protect Alison.

"No," Emily said. "Not until I say what I came here to say."

"If you think I'm letting you anywhere near her, you're more delusional than she is."

At that moment Pepe came scampering down the stairs and he slid across the hardwood floor and slammed into Emily's legs. He barked and Emily almost felt he was scolding her as much as Cece was for hurting Alison. Emily noticed he seemed to be moving slower than usual and was actually limping a little. She crouched down and petted him. He head butted her then licked her fingers.

"You're such a fucking traitor," Cece growled at the dog.

"What's wrong with him? Why's he limping?"

"I don't have to tell you fucking anything," Cece replied petulantly.

"Cece, who is it?" Alison's voice floated down the stairs. It was dull and emotionless and it felt like a stab to her heart because Emily knew it was her fault.

"It's me, Ali," Emily called out at the same time Cece said "No one."

Cece growled and turned back to glare down at Emily. For a second Emily wondered if the blonde was going to try to kick her.

"Em?" Alison's voice perked up and she came into view as she walked down the stairs.

Emily stood and looked at Alison and her breath caught in her throat. She was both relieved that Alison sounded like she wanted to see her, yet, horrified by the sight of her.

Alison's normally glorious blonde hair hung limp and messy on her head, like she hadn't washed it for days. She was dressed in raggedy sweatpants and a white tank top that looked like it had seen better days. There were dark circles under the blonde's eyes, her face was splotchy from what looked like tears and all the light had gone out of her eyes.

Emily wanted to weep for what she'd done and she wondered if perhaps it really was too late to make things right with the girl she loved. All Emily wanted to do was go to her and gather the blonde in her arms and whisper words of love and contrition and forgiveness.

The only thing that gave Emily hope, that maybe Alison would forgive her, was the love she saw flickering in the blonde's eyes. Even behind the lack of life and light, there was love shining through.

Why had it taken Emily so long to see and believe it?

"Al, you don't have to see her," Cece started to say, but Alison shot her a quick look as she reached the bottom of the stairs, before her eyes returned to Emily's face.

"You should probably go, Cece," she said quietly and firmly.

Cece's whole body reacted with surprise before she exploded. "There is no fucking way I'm leaving you here with her."

Alison eyes whipped toward Cece again and the blue depths were blazing. It was a little disconcerting to Emily to see how quickly the blonde's eyes could change, but then again her eyes were the most expressive thing about Alison.

"Cece, I'm a grown woman." Alison blinked and her anger was gone but there was still a steely determination in them. "And I love you for your support and attempted protection but you need to get the fuck out of my house now."

"Un-fucking-believable," Cece threw her arms up into the air as she shook her head, clearly not fazed by Alison's reaction. But Emily could see worry in her eyes. She was worried for Alison and, again, Emily could appreciate that. But, of course, it didn't stop her from being Cece.

"I'm done doing this Alison," Cece scoffed. "If you're letting her stay and kicking me out after I've spent the last two days keeping you from slitting your wrists, then don't call me when she breaks your heart again and leaves. Call your brother because _I'm done_."

The blonde stalked over to the dining room table and grabbed her purse.

"Don't be such a fucking drama queen," Alison scoffed right back as she rolled her eyes.

At Cece's words Emily's eyes whipped to Alison's wrists. They were smooth and unblemished and Emily felt the relief flood her.

"She's just being melodramatic. I've never tried to slit my wrists," Alison said to Emily seeing the momentary panic in her mermaid's eyes.

Cece stomped to the front door and then stopped. Emily stepped aside to let her pass. If she and Alison were going to be together, Emily knew she and Cece were going to have to find a way to coexist. But she refused to be intimidated by the blonde.

She met Cece's gaze evenly and the blonde stared at her for a long moment. Whatever she saw in Emily's eyes made her narrow her own and then her face smoothed over.

"Don't fuck it up, Americano," she said before turning to look at Alison.

"Take a fucking shower. You're starting to reek."

Alison looked so horrified it was almost comical and she turned her head to try to discretely get a whiff of herself.

Cece turned to look at Emily again. "If I show up here in the morning and find her broken again there will be no place you can hide, Emily."

"Get out Cece," Alison growled.

"Later," she said as she walked out the door and down the front porch steps.

Emily closed the door behind her as Pepe started nudging her toward the staircase and Alison.

Emily looked at the blonde again and her heart clenched to see how broken she really looked. She was always so put together, had always been, since she was a girl back in Rosewood; no matter what was happening in her life. To see her any other way was unsettling.

Of course she was still beautiful. To Emily, Alison could never be anything but stunning.

She stepped closer with Pepe's not so subtle urging but Alison stepped back.

"Cece is right," Alison admitted ruefully "I need a quick shower. Can you give me five minutes?"

She was almost afraid to ask, not wanting to give Emily any reason to leave again, but she didn't want Emily to see or smell her like this.

"Sure." Emily nodded, knowing the blonde needed to pull herself together.

Alison turned to ascend the stairs but stopped when Pepe barked from in front of the door. "Damn it. I should have asked Cece to walk him before I kicked her out. I just have to take him out back real quick."

"I'll take him," Emily offered. "Where's his leash?"

Alison's heart melted in an instant.

"Are you sure?" she asked as she walked toward the kitchen to get the leash hanging on the wall beside the garage door.

"Yeah," Emily said from behind her and Alison jumped slightly, not realizing the brunette had followed. "For some reason he likes me so it's the least I can do."

"Pepe's always loved you," Alison said as she turned around to face Emily. "Ever since you took care of him after my mom died," Alison reminded her as she handed Emily the leash. "The waste bags are in the handle."

"Okay," Emily replied but she didn't make a move to walk away. She just stood looking at the blonde in front of her.

"Thank you," Alison said sincerely as she smiled almost shyly. It made Emily want to kiss her. "I'll be done with my shower by the time you get back," the blonde added quietly.

Unable to stop herself Emily leaned forward and pressed her lips against Alison's. The blonde gasped in surprise and then a whimper escaped the back of her throat before she pulled her head back. The intense look in Emily's eyes made Alison's heart thump in her chest. But before she could ask Emily what she was doing, the brunette turned and walked out of the kitchen.

"Come on, Pepe," she called and Pepe barked in response.

Alison stood frozen in her spot, lifting her fingers to her now tingling lips, as she heard the front door close. She had no idea why Emily was back or what she wanted. She was almost terrified to find out. But after that kiss Alison felt a glimmer of hope again that maybe all was not lost with her mermaid.

It was that hope that had her sprinting up the stairs and to the shower.

##################

It was the fastest shower Alison had taken in her life. She usually liked to take her time, enjoy the fee of the water cascading over her skin as she left the conditioner in her hair for at least five minutes while she did her other business. But this time she didn't. Her hair and body and face were washed in record time and she was out of the shower in three and a half minutes.

The blonde threw on a comfortable pair of shorts and a t-shirt. She was still horrified Emily saw her, the way she did, but at least Emily didn't seem to notice her old tank top in its battered and ratty shape.

Alison heard the front door open and she quickly brushed her teeth and hair before pulling the long strands up into a ponytail. She pinched her cheeks a little because she looked just too pale, but there was nothing she could do about the dark circles under her eyes. She hadn't slept well at all since Emily left the other night, but none of that mattered now. Her mermaid was here and if Alison didn't get her ass downstairs she'd never know why.

With one last look in the mirror, the blonde turned and walked out of the bathroom and down to see if, for once in her life, she just might get her wish.

################

Emily was sitting in the chair next to the fireplace scratching Pepe's ears when Alison descended the stairs. He looked to be in heaven and the blonde was actually jealous of her dog. She couldn't blame him though. She would give anything to have Emily's hands on her. The brunette looked perfect sitting in Alison's living room, petting her dog, just like she belonged there. As far as Alison was concerned she did.

Emily looked up and smiled as she took in the sight of Alison, comfortable and casual, looking infinitely better than she had not ten minutes ago. She looked nervous, more nervous than she'd been a few nights prior. And Emily couldn't blame her. She had no idea how she was even going to start this conversation. She didn't want Alison to think she was only here because Marielle had left her, although it was inevitable it would look like that.

But Emily knew she was destined to end up here again. Everything Marielle said to her was right. And even though it hurt to let Mari go, Emily knew this was where she belonged, where she'd always wanted to be; with the girl, now woman, she'd always loved. She just hoped she wasn't too late.

When neither one of them spoke Pepe barked and loped over to Alison to get a pat on the head.

"Hi baby," she murmured as she stroked him lovingly.

"I noticed he's limping," Emily observed.

Alison frowned softly. "Yeah, he's starting to do that. The vet said he's getting arthritis in his old age." The blonde swallowed as she said the words.

Even just the thought of Pepe getting older and not being around was almost as debilitating as the thought of Emily not being in her life. It wasn't something she was willing to entertain, so she once again shut it out and crouched down to hug him.

"I give him an anti-inflammatory when he's really stiff and she said he's got to get some of the weight off." Alison scratched down his back and then back up again. "Fucking Cece calling him fat," the blonde grumbled. "I hate it when she's right."

"He's not fat," Emily reiterated what she'd said to Alison at the skate park all those weeks ago. "There's nothing wrong with him having some meat on him, but he is a little chunky. Do you still jog with him?"

Alison arched her brow skeptically and Emily laughed in response.

"I guess that answers my question."

"Running is not really my thing. I only do it every once in a while like that day we saw you." Alison adjusted Pepe's collar, gently pulling out some of his fur that had gotten caught in the metal clasp. "Besides I worry about what it would do to his joints."

"If you take it slow it shouldn't be too jarring for him."

Alison shrugged, not really sure why they were talking about Pepe and not why Emily was there. But she couldn't help but fall a little more in love with the woman in front of her because of her concern for Alison's dog.

At that same moment, Emily felt like she was falling more in love with Alison as she watched the loving, nurturing, caring side of the blonde she always knew existed come out.

"Do you know they have yoga for dogs?" Alison asked casually because even though she was dying to know what Emily wanted to say to her, she couldn't bring herself to ask yet. But she didn't want to stop talking either, didn't want to stop hearing Emily talk. If fact she wanted to spend the rest of her life talking to the brunette.

"You're kidding, right?" Emily chuckled but then stopped when she saw that Alison wasn't chuckling with her. But she was smiling and Emily was, once again, struck by how incredibly beautiful Alison was when she smiled.

"Nope," Alison replied as she stood up. "It's called 'Doga' and we take a class twice a week now."

"Is that so?" Emily said with an amused tilt of her head.

"You think I'm crazy, don't you?" Alison asked as she nibbled on her bottom lip.

Emily shook her head, seriously, but her eyes were soft and gentle and filled with understanding. "No. You obviously love him a lot. He's a lucky dog."

"He's a spoiled dog," Alison murmured as she reached down to stroke his head again as he sat patiently waiting for more affection, which he knew, from experience, would come from the blonde.

"Maybe I can take him jogging with me sometime," Emily offered casually. "I don't tend to run fast or far. I just like to stretch my legs a bit. I'll go easy on him."

And there Alison went falling yet even more in love with her mermaid again. "I bet he'd love that."

After a few more strokes Pepe decided it was time to leave and he loped up the stairs and was gone.

Alison knew he was just an animal and therefore could in no way comprehend the importance of what she hoped was happening with Emily, but sometimes it just seemed like he instinctively knew exactly what she needed. He seemed to know when she needed his company and his snuggling and when she needed her space from him. After what happened the other night, she wondered why he would leave her alone with Emily, but dog's had instincts that humans couldn't comprehend and he probably knew Alison was safe with the brunette.

The blonde just hoped he was right.

Emily stood up from the chair after Pepe disappeared up the stairs.

"Thanks for waiting," Alison said in an attempt to fill the silence that had fallen over them again. "I'm sure I looked like Medusa."

Emily shook her head. "You're always beautiful to me, Ali."

Alison felt her body tremble in response to Emily's heartfelt words. She wanted to hurl herself at the brunette and kiss every inch of her beautiful face.

Instead she asked, "What are you doing here, Em?"

Emily steeled herself for what she knew was not going to be an easy conversation. Nothing between them was easy, but Emily wanted it to be, so badly. She wanted all this tension and awkwardness to just go away so they could have a genuine shot at something real together.

It was what they both wanted so why was it so hard getting there?

Emily licked her lips nervously before she said, "I wanted to say I'm sorry for the other night."

That wasn't what Alison was expecting.

"What for? Breaking my heart?"

Alison wanted to cut her tongue out. Sometimes that old part of her would just slip out; the defensive, sarcastic one that attacked first and thought later. She was so good at keeping that side of her at bay, now, but the truer the sentiment the harder it was to keep it from coming out. "I didn't mean to say that," she added contritely as she nibbled on her bottom lip again.

"It's okay," Emily said and Alison looked at her with surprise. "And yes, I'm sorry for breaking your heart, Ali. If it's any consolation, I broke my own too."

"At one time in my life, it would have been," Alison admitted honestly. "But not anymore."

The blonde wrung her fingers together but she stepped a little closer. The sofa was still between them but Alison thought maybe that was best for the moment.

"I accept your apology, Em," Alison said. "But I still don't understand why you're here. You made it pretty clear the other night you didn't want to see me again."

So there was going to no gradual segue into this conversation. Emily should have figured as much so she decided to just get it out there.

"Mari and I broke up."

Emily held her breath as Alison looked at her like she was speaking a foreign language. And not one either of them knew.

"What happened?" the blonde asked once her brain caught up with her ears. She tried not to let the squeal that was building inside her come out because that would have been insensitive. But Alison felt like the vise that was around her heart was starting to loosen.

"She just got back from Paris and she's moving into her own apartment."

Alison walked around the sofa now and Emily took a step closer as well. "Wait a minute, she's been in Paris?" Alison asked as her forehead wrinkled in confusion.

Emily nodded, wondering where Alison was going with this.

Then Alison's eyes flashed with annoyance. "That's why you agreed to come over here the other night? Because she was out of town?"

"Mari doesn't…. didn't…. tell me what I can and can't do." Emily stuttered and shook her head feeling they were getting off track. "Anyway that doesn't matter. That's not the point."

"What _is_ the point?" Alison asked tetchily as she continued to pin Emily with a narrow look.

"The point is I'm telling you we ended things last night. We're no longer together."

"What happened to 'I'm going to make this work with her, Alison'?"

The blonde tried to keep the bite out of her tone but she failed.

This was it. Emily had to be honest. If she and Alison were going to have a chance, there had to be no more lies between them. Ever.

"I was going to," she admitted with an internal cringe. "I had every intention to. And if she hadn't already made her decision before she even walked in the door, I would probably be there with her right now."

Alison's eyes flashed with anguish and betrayal now. "If you're trying to hurt me after everything I've done to you, then guess what, you've succeeded, Em." Alison's voice sounded tired and resigned but then it got some of its fire back. "Why are you even here? Didn't you crush me enough the other night?"

"I'm not trying to hurt you Alison. I never want to hurt you."

"You are," Alison snapped as she wrapped her arms around her stomach and hugged herself. Emily took a chance and reached out. She pulled the blonde's hands away, gripping them in her own.

"The other night you said you would never lie to me again. Well, I'm never going to lie to you again either. Our only hope of survival is to be completely honest with each other."

"As much as I want this, want _you_," Alison emphasized as she pulled her hands away from Emily's. "I don't want you here because Marielle walked out on you. I won't be anyone's second choice, Em. Not even yours," the blonde hissed as she stepped back and almost tumbled backward over the coffee table.

Emily reached out to her but Alison just slapped her hands away as she steadied herself.

"Don't touch me."

Emily sighed and retracted her hand. "You could never be a second choice, Ali. You've _always_ been the first."

Alison wanted to believe her. God, she wanted to believe.

"But the other night you told me you were committed to staying with her."

"Guilt and obligation are not a reason for two people to stay together," Emily reiterated Marielle's words from the night before. "Mari said that to me and I realized she was right." The ache of letting Marielle go was lessening every second she was with Alison and Emily knew she was exactly where she was destined to be. "As much as I care for Marielle, the truth of it is you can't be with one person when you're _in love_ with someone else," Emily admitted what Alison had tried to get her to the other night.

Alison choked out a soft gasp and her hands started to shake.

Emily stepped closer. "I never stopped loving you Alison. God help me I tried." Emily looked to the heavens for a moment before meeting Alison's eyes again as she shook her head. "But I just couldn't do it. It didn't matter how long it was, or how far apart we were or who I was with. You were always with me." Emily reached for Alison's hand again and lifted it to her chest to rest over her heart. "Right here."

Alison flexed her fingers and pressed them into Emily's soft pliant flesh. She didn't dare speak because she feared she would sob if she tried.

"Marielle knew it," Emily continued as she lifted Alison's hand to her lips now, kissing her palm softly. "So when she asked me I couldn't lie anymore. I was only hurting all of us by trying to deny it."

"What does this mean?" Alison barely got the words past her lips.

Emily gripped Alison's hips and pulled her closer as the blonde held her breath in anticipation.

"It means I love you Alison DiLaurentis Fields," Emily replied honestly and then she chuckled softly. "That is still really strange for me to wrap my head around; us having the same last name I mean."

"Don't get distracted," Alison pleaded because she needed Emily to finish before she dared try to really breathe again.

"I guess it doesn't matter," Emily murmured to herself. "You would have had it someday anyway."

"Emily," Alison squeaked as she gripped the brunette's waist now. "Focus!" she commanded impatiently as her breathing sped up. She'd been waiting for this moment for what felt like forever.

Emily chuckled again, not at all offended by Alison's demand. The look in the blonde's eyes and the feel of her trembling beneath Emily's finger gave her the confidence to continue.

"I love you, Ali," Emily said again and, god, it felt so damn good to say. "I want to be with you. I want us to be together. That is if you still do?" Emily finished feeling pretty confident she knew Alison's answer already by the way the blonde was vibrating beneath her fingertips. But she knew Alison needed the words from her.

As Alison searched Emily's eyes, she saw everything she needed. The girl she loved, loved her back. And, all at once, her past, her present and her future fell into place. So she gave in and did exactly what she was dying to do.

She hurled herself at Emily and kissed her, fusing her lips to the brunette's as she slid her arms completely around Emily's waist.

Emily stumbled backward but she caught Alison and attempted to balance them. But the blonde's momentum was too strong and they both went tumbling back onto the oversized easy chair behind Emily. The brunette barely had time to be grateful for the small favor, of the chair being in such close proximity, when Alison straddled and climbed on top of her again. Emily had a feeling this was something Alison liked and would be doing to her a lot.

She didn't mind in the least.

Alison slid her arms over Emily's shoulders as she kissed her like their lives depended on it. She moaned into Emily's mouth when the brunette opened hers with a moan of her own. Alison slipped her tongue between Emily's lips as she rocked gently on the brunette's lap.

"I love you, Em," Alison practically choked into Emily's mouth. "So much."

Emily responded by sliding one hand up Alison's back. She tugged on the blonde's ponytail and freed her still damp hair as her other hand slid along Alison's bare thigh until her fingertips burrowed just beneath the hem of her shorts. Emily gripped the soft flesh and Alison groaned as she pressed closer, shifting on Emily's lap so she could grind on the brunette's thigh as her knees pressed into the cushion on either side of her.

Alison tore her lips away and buried her face in Emily's neck, panting harshly as she rocked her hips gently over the brunette. Emily nuzzled just below Alison's ear as her hand slid out of the blonde's hair and down her back again before sliding around her body and cupping the blonde's breast. This was reminiscent of their previous encounter and Alison, even through her lust addled brain, knew where this was quickly headed.

"Em, stop it," she pleaded hoarsely as she lifted her head and tried to fight off the brunette's wandering hands. "I can't think when you do that."

"Good," Emily murmured as she lowered her lips to Alison's throat, swirling her tongue over the hollow. "I don't want you to think. I just want you to feel."

Emily gripped Alison's hips and pushed her down on her thigh as she rolled it from side to side. She could feel the heat of the blonde even through her pants.

"Em," Alison moaned helplessly even as she forced herself to scoot back a little on Emily's lap. "Stop."

"What?" Emily groaned as she pulled away. Her entire body was on fire and all she could think about was how desperately she wanted more than just her thigh between Alison's.

The blonde gripped Emily's hands and held them between their bodies. "As much as I want this, we have to stop."

"Why?" Emily looked at her incredulously.

Alison slowed her breathing trying to clear her lust addled brain. "Because before I take you to my bed," Alison replied as she lifted her fingers to Emily's face and caressed it gently. "I want to take you on a date."

Emily's eyes lost a little bit of their heat, softening slightly and Alison knew this was the absolute right decision; even though her body was screaming for her to just say 'fuck it' to everything else and just fuck Emily. But just fucking Emily wasn't an option.

Because the brunette was everything.

Alison forced herself to stand up on shaky legs, needing some distance from her mermaid.

"I want to take you on a proper date," she said as she held her hands out to help Emily stand too. Alison's lips curved into what felt the first genuine smile she'd had in years. "Where the whole world can see me and think damn that blonde is one lucky girl to have that goddess on her arm."

Emily smiled and stood up.

"I think it will probably be the other way around," Emily said as she reached up and caressed Alison's cheek. The blonde's eyes fluttered closed and she sighed softly. "And I'd love to go on a proper date with you, Ali," Emily added honestly.

Alison's eyes fluttered open again and she stepped back just enough so they could no longer touch.

"Good," she sighed. "But you have to stop touching me until then or I'll never last."

"I don't have a night off until Thursday," Emily said with a small frown. That was still three days away.

"I can wait," Alison said more confidently than she felt.

"I hope I can," Emily muttered under her breath because, right now, three days felt like a lifetime.

Alison flushed with delight at Emily's soft words. The knowledge that Emily wanted her as much as she wanted the brunette was enough to make waiting a few more days bearable.

"You probably should go, though," Alison said even though it was the last thing she wanted. "I definitely won't be able to hold out if you're around."

"Are you serious?" Emily choked out a short laugh.

Alison nodded. "It's only a few days, Em, and then you'll be lucky if I let you out of bed to go to work."

Emily swallowed at the images Alison's words evoked. "I guess I should go then."

Alison nodded again in agreement.

Emily stepped closer and started to lift her hand to Alison's face again, but the blonde stepped back causing the brunette to pout; a sight that made Alison's heart flutter in her chest.

"What time should I pick you up?" Emily asked as she clenched her fingers at her sides, fighting the desire to pull Alison to her. She started edging toward the front door, while never taking her eyes off the blonde.

Alison shook her head even as she smiled. "You aren't. I'll pick you up at seven."

"Okay," Emily agreed as she reached behind her and opened the door. "Can I kiss you goodnight?"

Alison looked a little panicked as she shook her head rapidly. "No."

"Ali, now you're just being ridiculous," Emily huffed with disappointment. "We're adults and we can control ourselves."

"Really?" Alison challenged as she grabbed Emily's hand and tugged the brunette against her. The second their bodies and lips touched, Emily turned and pushed Alison against the door, causing it to slam hard into the wall. But neither woman noticed or cared.

As their tongues and lips and teeth clashed frantically, Emily's hands gripped Alison's ass and lifted her against the door. The blond wrapped her legs around Emily's waist and bucked as Emily ground her pelvis against her. Alison felt the rush of arousal soak her panties and she groaned softly into Emily's mouth.

Emily's hands slid down beneath Alison's ass and her fingers brushed between Alison's thighs. She could feel the heat emanating from the blonde and Emily's entire body shuddered with desire.

The kiss lengthened and deepened and Emily pressed Alison's body harder into the door. Still neither of them noticed nor cared that they were essentially putting on a show in Alison's open front doorway; on display for the entire world to see.

All that mattered was how desperately they wanted and needed and craved each other.

When the need for air became too much, Emily tore her lips away.

"Okay," she panted harshly as she rested her forehead against Alison's. "You made your point."

Alison giggled breathlessly, her breasts heaving as she tried to catch her breath. Slowly she lowered her legs and stood as Emily stepped back.

"Fuck," Alison said as she exhaled a long breath and stepped away from the door.

Emily took Alison's hand and lifted it to her lips, kissing the palm softly now.

"I love you," she said and it felt so incredibly good to feel it and say it and see the joy in Alison's eyes as she did.

"I love you," the blonde breathed in response as she did the same with Emily's hand. "Now please go" she pleaded as she reached for the door handle. "Before I change my mind."

As she pulled on the door, Alison realized the handle on the other side was embedded in her living room wall.

"What the hell?" she said as it took two tugs to release it. She and Emily looked around the door to see a handle shaped hole in the wall beside the front window.

"Ooops," Emily said sheepishly and then they both burst out laughing. "I'll help you repair that," the brunette offered but Alison just shook her head.

"It was totally worth it," the blonde said as her fingers brushed over the edges of the hole. "I might just keep it as a reminder of the best kiss of my life."

Emily smiled and didn't question or tease the blonde for her sentiment, but then her brow furrowed as she remembered she had to leave and not see Alison again for three whole days.

"I'll see you on Thursday then."

"Thursday," Alison repeated as she turned her attention from the hole back to Emily.

"Can I call you tomorrow at least?" Emily smiled as she started backing out the door.

"You better," Alison said returning the brunette's smile. But then her lips curved down. "Are you sure about this Em?"

"What?" Emily stopped and looked alarmed by the question.

Alison looked worried. "Are you sure this is what you want? I'm not gonna be easy," the blond admitted, almost reluctantly, but she needed Emily to be sure. If the brunette changed her mind it would destroy her.

Emily's eyes softened again and the love that shone through was unmistakable. "You're all I ever wanted."

Alison's entire body relaxed for what felt like the first time in over a decade.

Her lips curved into a bright smile. "I'll pick you up at seven."

"Where are we going?" Emily asked as she stopped at the edge of the porch.

"It's a surprise," Alison and refused to elaborate any further.

"How will I know what to wear then?" Emily asked, teasing and trying to prolong the moment.

Alison smiled indulgently, knowing exactly what Emily was doing because she herself wanted to do it too.

"Dressy casual, but not too casual," Alison said figuring that would cover it because she wasn't sure where she was going to take Emily yet. "Something easy to get out of later," she added with a sultry purr and Emily felt her abdomen clench in response.

"Goodnight," Emily murmured with one last look at the blonde.

As she turned to walk away she heard Alison's soft "goodnight, Em" behind her.

And the words made Emily to infinitely happy because they were finally just saying goodnight to each other, instead of goodbye.

##################

Alison ripped the eleventh dress over her head and tossed it onto the pile already in the middle of her bed, or rather, on top of Pepe, who was in the middle of the bed. The poor dog was being buried under a mountain of Alison's clothes as she desperately tried to find something to wear on her date with Emily tonight.

Cece, who was sprawled on the chaise lounge in the corner of the bedroom, snickered as she typed on her phone.

"Would you stop sexting my brother please? It's gross. And besides you're supposed to be here helping me get ready."

Cece clucked her tongue. "Bitch, please, you're not interested in my opinion of what you should wear. You just want me to say you look smoking hot and Americano isn't going to be able to keep her hands off you."

Alison flushed with warm anticipation. That is _exactly_ what she was hoping would happen.

"This is important, Cece. I want to look good."

"Who cares what you wear," Cece replied absently as she continued typing. "It's not like you're going to have it on long anyway."

"Don't make me come over there and pinch you on the tit," Alison growled in response.

Cece looked up and narrowed her eyes. "Hey now, threatening the girls is totally not cool."

"Then help me here," Alison screeched now as her anxiety level was quickly reaching DEFCON One.

Pepe poked his head out from beneath a black dress that was draped over him to make sure Alison was okay.

"Jeez, fucking keep the decibel level down please," Cece retorted as she tossed her phone to the side and stood. She walked over to the blonde who was now standing in front of her mirror wearing only a pair of white silk panties and matching bra.

"You need to breathe, grasshopper," she said as she walked up behind Alison and rested her chin on her shoulder. "This is Emily. She's going to love whatever you're wearing."

"That's just it, Cece," Alison sighed heavily. "This. Is. Emily. Tonight has to be perfect. _I_ have to be perfect."

"If she thinks you are anything but then you need to kick her to the curb right the fuck now," Cece said frankly.

"Cece, that's not funny."

"I'm not trying to be funny. I'm dead serious, Ali." Cece stepped over to Alison's closet and started rooting around inside. "As pissed as I still am at her for what she did to you last weekend, I know you love her and I believe she loves you."

"I know she does," Alison replied softly.

And Alison did. She didn't doubt Emily's feelings for her but she knew the brunette still also had feelings for her ex. And that left what felt like a lead weight in her stomach most of the time.

"Then get the fuck over yourself and put that first sundress back on, the peach one with the blue flowers. It's feminine with a hint of innocence, but is still subtly sultry. And the way it fits on you is going to make Emily want to wo-manhandle you."

Alison rolled her eyes at Cece's bad attempt at being humorous and sexist. "You don't think it's too informal though? I told her casual dressy so most of these other dresses are just too nightclub kind of vibe."

Cece walked over and dug around on the bed and found the sundress. She held it out to Alison.

"Put the fucking dress on. Trust me on this."

Alison took the dress from her and held it up in front of her again as she looked in the mirror. It was a beautiful dress. And the color looked good on her. She imagined Emily peeling it off of her later and she shivered in anticipation.

"Don't fucking do that," Cece said as she stepped away.

"Do what?" Alison looked at Cece in the mirror questioningly.

"Get all aroused thinking about her." Cece shuddered. "Wait until I leave because I don't need to smell you like a bitch in heat."

Alison laughed and slipped the dress down over her head. "Will you zip me please," she asked as she turned her back to Cece.

The blonde reached out, exaggeratedly keeping her distance, and slid the zipper up.

"Why are you wearing that underwear anyway?" Cece asked as she noticed the strap of Alison's bra for the first time.

"What's wrong with it?" Alison asked as she adjusted the dress on her frame.

"It's white and boring," Cece replied with obvious sarcasm.

"It's sheer and practically see-through," Alison replied as she shook her head in exasperation.

"So what. It's white," Cece scoffed in response. "You're planning to get laid tonight. You should be wearing a sexy color like black or hooker red."

Alison rolled her eyes. "There is no such color as hooker red lingerie."

"There's hooker read nail polish," Cece retorted as she stuck out her tongue playfully.

"Figures you'd know that," Alison shot back as her lips quirked. She really loved Cece sometimes.

"In fact I'm wearing it right now," Cece said as she held up and wiggled her fingers with her deep red nails.

Alison ignored her and scrutinized herself in the mirror. It was summertime and a sundress, even at night, was appropriate for the warm weather. And the dress did look lovely on her. Even though it had a relatively simple floral pattern, Cece was right; there was something subtly sultry and sexy about it. Alison fluffed her hair and settled it over her shoulders in long waves, letting some strands fall over her breasts in the front.

Cece whistled as she walked up behind her again.

"I'd totally do ya. Oh wait, I have," she teased and Alison scowled. She and Cece had hooked up a few times in the past. The first couple of times were back when they were teenagers; back just before she went missing.

It was when Alison was confused about what was happening to her. Her feelings for Emily were starting to come to the surface, and she didn't know what it all meant and why she was attracted to the girl she considered her best friend. Was it just Emily or was she attracted to girls in general?

She'd always been attracted to boys and had slept with her share of them once she realized the power she could wield over them with her body. But the strange breathless, tingling feelings she started having around Emily frightened her. So she confided in Cece, who was the only person she felt wouldn't judge her.

Cece explained that it was a normal part of a girl's path to maturity to develop a passing crush on a female friend. It was like a rite of passage. But the only way she'd know if it was more than that was if she explored it. So that's what they did.

The two of them did some exploration under the sheets and Alison realized that she liked sex with a girls and boys. In a lot of ways she liked sex with girls more because it was more about touching and foreplay than trying to get to a finish line like with a guy. But she was still scared the feelings she was developing for Emily would ruin their friendship. Even after she discovered Emily had feelings for her.

So instead she acted cruelly to the one person, the girl, who held her heart the most. And that girl, now woman, held every part of her heart and body and soul. And she always would.

The second time she and Cece hooked up was when they were both so freaking drunk they didn't know what the hell they were doing. Alison had just gotten back from going to see Emily in Paris and she was a complete mess. Cece and Jason hadn't gotten together yet, were still dancing around their reawakened feelings for each other, so Cece wasn't in a very good spot either. So the two of them decided to get wasted and the next morning woke up naked in Alison's bed and it was pretty clear from the scratch and bite marks what they'd done the night before.

After that they swore off drinking together for a very long time. It was for the best though because Cece and Jason got together not long after that and he'd been clean and sober since before Alison had come home senior year. He didn't need his sister and his girlfriend indulging regularly in his vice.

Jason later found out what happened between them, but one thing Jason had learned to do over the years, better than Alison could, was leave the past in the past.

As Alison looked at Cece in the mirror she questioned how Emily was going to react when she found out. There was nothing between her and Cece. They were sisters in their hearts, but Alison wondered how Emily would feel about having Cece around on an almost daily basis for the rest of their lives. Alison had no doubt that Jason and Cece would get married someday. And Alison tried not to, but couldn't help hoping it would be the same for her and Emily.

But she wasn't going to lie or keep secrets from Emily ever again so it was going to have to come out. The question was did Emily love her enough to, like Jason, leave the past in the past.

"Where the fuck did you go?" Cece asked as she stood beside Alison now.

"I was just thinking about what Emily's gonna think about you and me."

"If she can't deal with it then fuck her," Cece said plainly and Alison just shook her head.

"Don't talk about her like that Cece," Alison scolded her friend. "She's everything to me."

"Then I hope she's a good lay. It would really suck if she wasn't."

Alison narrowed her eyes as she reached out and pinched Cece on the right boob.

"Fucking hell, Ali," Cece yelped as she jumped back.

"You deserved that for what you said."

"That's the last time I help you get ready for a date." Rubbing her boob with one hand, Cece stomped over to the chaise to get her phone. "I'm out of here and I'm taking my bruised tit with me. I'm telling your brother by the way."

"Oh grow up," Alison scoffed and then it turned into a laugh as Cece stomped out of her room muttering under her breath about her boob.

Pepe looked up at her and she could feel him judging her.

"What," she scowled at him. "It's not like she's never done it to me, you know."

Pepe opened his mouth like he was going to bark again but then he closed it before putting his head back down on his paws. Alison laughed as the dog closed his eyes.

"That shut you up, didn't it?" she teased as she patted him. "I better get this cleaned up," she added, under her breath to herself, as she started gathering the clothes off the bed.

Because when they returned from their date later, Alison wanted nothing in the way of her and Emily and her bed.

##############

Alison approached Emily's door carrying a bouquet of tulips and she suddenly had flashbacks of a night two years ago. Only this time she knew the woman behind the door was waiting for her to arrive. The woman behind the door loved her back and Alison let the feelings of happiness and gratitude, that had been a constant for the last three days, rush through her again.

She'd been beside herself, impatiently waiting for this night with bated breath.

Just the thought of Emily sent nervous butterflies fluttering around the blonde's stomach, but as she reached the door and stopped, a feeling of calm settled over her. This was Emily. There was no reason to be nervous with the brunette because Emily was her safe harbor.

Alison lifted her hand and knocked on the door. As she waited she buried her face in the fragrant flowers in her hands.

The door opened and Emily stood in front of her, beautiful and perfect and Alison's lips curved upward into a dazzling smile.

"Hi," Emily returned the smile, her eyes shining happily at the sight of the blonde.

"Hi," Alison replied as she held the flowers out to Emily. "These are for you."

God that sounded so lame. She was so inexperienced at this. In fact it was the first date she had ever initiated with anyone. She was always on the receiving end of invitations but she actually liked being the instigator in this. And she had every intention of asking and taking her girl out a lot.

Emily took the flowers from her and buried her face in them the same way Alison had done a minute before.

"I love tulips," she said as she breathed in the sweet scent of the flowers.

"I know," Alison replied with a small smile.

"Thank you, Ali, they're gorgeous." Emily stepped forward and pecked Alison softly on the lips.

"So are you," Alison replied truthfully as she sighed happily.

Emily looked down at her casual cotton dress. It was midnight blue but it looked almost black so it appeared a little more dressy than casual. It was sleeveless with a v-neck in the front and gathered at the waist with a chain loop belt. She opted for a lower heel since Alison was slightly shorter than her and because she wanted to be comfortable tonight.

She'd waited to go on a date with Alison since she was fourteen and part of her wondered if this was a dream. If it was she never wanted to wake up.

"I hope this is okay for where we're going."

"It's perfect," Alison replied and she felt herself flush as Emily's eyes now raked over her.

"You look beautiful, Alison."

Even after almost changing one last time, Alison decided to keep on the peach colored, floral print, sundress. Like Emily's, it was sleeveless but it had a crew neckline. It also gathered at the waist, only with internal elastic, not a belt, but it flared out around her hips and thighs, unlike Emily's, which fell straight. The blonde wore three inch heels and both women's choice in shoes made it so they were both basically the same height.

"Let me just put these in water and I'm ready," Emily said as she turned and walked into the kitchen.

Alison tentatively stepped into the apartment, really not wanting to be in the place Emily had lived with Marielle. She hadn't thought about that when she told Emily she would pick her up for their date. She should have just let Emily come to her house because Alison intended for them to spend the night there.

The entire night.

As Emily rooted around in the kitchen looking for a vase to put the flowers in

Alison looked around the small apartment. It was almost completely empty.

Emily saw Alison's subtle appraisal of the space and decided to address the elephant in the room.

"Mari took most of the furniture. The only things I bought were the bed and the dining room table. Everything else was hers."

In that instant Alison knew she would never sleep in that bed. In fact she had the urge to burn it.

"It is a little sparse," Alison said just for the sake of saying something.

Emily filled the vase she finally found with water and slipped the tulips into it.

"Are you alright being here?" Emily asked as she dried her hands and walked back toward Alison.

"I'm not sure," she admitted as she looked over at the brunette. "Are you okay still being here now?"

Emily nodded thoughtfully as she glanced around. She did need to get at least a sofa and probably a TV.

"It'll be okay. And it's only been a day, really. Mari just got the last of her stuff moved out of here yesterday."

"Well are you ready?" Alison asked a little too quickly and brightly so Emily took her hand.

"I don't want this to be awkward, Ali," she implored the blonde. "Mari lived here but she doesn't anymore. I'm with you and I'm exactly where I want to be."

"But it has to be weird right?" Alison asked with uncertainty lacing her voice.

Emily led Alison to the front door, grabbing her purse from the table on her way. "It's empty but I was the one who rented it originally so there was a short time at the beginning I was here alone." Emily opened the door and held her hand out so Alison would step out before her. "I'll get furniture little by little and it will be fine. Now where are you taking me?" she asked effectively putting an end to the topic of her ex.

"Gladstones," Alison answered as Emily locked her front door.

"Oh," Emily said with a surprised smile as she took Alison's hand again. "In Malibu?"

"Yeah," Alison replied as she gently squeezed Emily's fingers. "Have you eaten there?"

Emily shook her head but Alison could tell she'd done well. Emily loved seafood so Alison hoped it would be the perfect choice. Emily's reaction told her all she needed to know.

"I've wanted to. I've heard great things about their food."

"My options were limited with a food snob like you," Alison teased as they walked down the hallway to the elevator.

"I'm not a food snob," Emily scoffed good-naturedly. "I'm a patisserie and chocolate snob."

"Well they have a mile high chocolate cake there," Alison offered casually but Emily wasn't fooled.

"Is that so?" she chuckled as she pressed the button for the elevator because, of course, Alison would pick a restaurant with chocolate on the dessert menu.

"It's not anywhere as good as the one you made at Field's House," Alison admitted. "But it was the best one I'd had until yours."

"We'll have to get it then."

The elevator door opened and they stepped inside.

"Yours is the best I've ever had," Alison said truthfully, not realizing her double entendre. But Emily caught it instantly.

"Oh, I intend it to be," the brunette murmured, adding her own double entendre, as she slipped her arm around Alison's waist and brushed her lips against the blonde's ear.

Alison was about to turn and push her mermaid against the wall of the elevator when it stopped and the doors opened. Alison growled with disappointment.

Emily chuckled and took her hand again as they stepped into the lobby.

"You're a tease," Alison grumbled but Emily just kept chuckling as they made their way out of the lobby of the apartment building. She had every intention of teasing the blonde mercilessly all night.

####################

Alison leaned back in her chair and took in the sight of the moonlight reflecting on the ocean as she sipped the last vestiges of her wine. They were seated on Gladstones' back deck, having enjoyed watching the sunset as they were eating. Now that the sun had vanished below the horizon, they were just letting their food settle as they finished the bottle of wine they'd ordered with dinner. But Emily had excused herself to the bathroom a few minutes ago, once they'd ordered dessert, so it gave Alison a few moments to herself to reflect on how their first date was going.

Both the drive to and dinner itself had been full of comfortable conversation, pleasantly surprising them both. Neither one of them really knew what to expect because they had a lot of years of pain, anger and hurt to move beyond. But then again she and Emily had always been able to fall into an easy camaraderie together. It was what always made their friendship so special and different from all the others they had.

Out of the few friends Alison had in her life, even including Cece, Emily was the one who meant the most. Emily was the only one she'd ever called her best friend and meant it. Well except for Pepe. But he was different because he was a dog. Although sometimes Alison was convinced he was part human.

They kept the topics over dinner casual and light, with Emily telling Alison about her time studying at _ecole chocolat_ and Alison telling Emily more about how Field's House came to fruition after she finally settled in LA. Only a few times did either of them mention such mutually off limits topics as Marielle and Holbrook. Alison knew Emily didn't understand exactly why the blonde still had contact with him. And she could tell the brunette wanted ask but refrained so as not to ruin their date. Alison knew she would eventually need to tell Emily the rest of that story, but tonight was not the night.

Alison lifted her wine glass to her lips and took the last sip just as Emily returned to the table.

"I was beginning to think you'd made a break for it," Alison teased softly as the brunette sat down beside her. They'd elected to sit next to each other so they could both have a view of the sunset. And in all honesty they both just wanted to be closer.

Emily smiled. "There was a line. You know how girls like to congregate in the bathroom." Then she looked around the table. "The chocolate cake hasn't gotten here yet? They must not have a very good pastry chef if it takes him this long to get out an already prepared dessert."

Alison laughed at Emily's scandalized tone. "You're too cute. You need to stop or I'm going to be forced to kiss you right here at this table."

Emily felt her cheeks heat. She'd been dying to kiss Alison again all night but they were in the middle of a restaurant, after all. Not that she was embarrassed or opposed to public displays of affection as long as they weren't obnoxious. But she was trying not to rush things and she had no idea how Alison felt about that kind of thing and she didn't want to spook the blonde.

Emily had no doubt how and where this night was going to end, but part of her wanted to savor the build up while the other part of her was scared shitless because there was so much at stake.

Emily knew putting that kind of pressure on their already delicate foundation wasn't wise. But she couldn't help it because she'd loved and wanted the woman beside her for going on almost ten years now.

"Hey, where did you go?" Alison's voice and the feel of the blonde's hand on hers broke through Emily's thoughts and she shook her head.

"Nowhere."

Alison arched her brow and that was all she needed to do to get Emily to cave because, really, Emily wanted to tell her anyway.

"I was just thinking about how much I've wanted to kiss you all night." Emily watched as Alison flushed with delight, even going so far as to wiggle slightly in her seat. "But I didn't know how you'd feel about that," she finished honestly.

Alison's eyes went from twinkling to soft and then to heated as she reached up and cupped the back of Emily's neck, leaning forward as she gently pulled the brunette toward her.

"I've been dying for you to kiss me," she breathed against Emily's lips before closing the distance in a soft but decidedly chaste kiss. Emily moaned softly as her hand dropped to Alison's thigh and she pressed her fingers into the soft flesh in an effort to keep from grabbing at the blonde and tugging her over onto her lap. Their lips lingered, just barely touching, for a few seconds once the kiss was over, neither one of them wanting the moment to end.

"Oh," Alison heard from beside them and she reluctantly pulled away and looked over at the waitress who was standing beside the table with their dessert. "Sorry for interrupting," she said as she smiled shyly.

Alison fought the urge to pout but instead smiled when she saw her mermaid blush profusely.

A naughty and playful smirk curved Alison's lips in response. "That's okay. We had to do something to keep our mouths busy until the chocolate got here."

Emily blinked in surprise at Alison's words and the waitress laughed softly. She set the towering slice of chocolate cake on the table between them.

"Well enjoy," she said before she walked away.

Alison felt Emily's eyes on her so she turned her face to look at the brunette.

"What?"

"I just," Emily started before she paused to gather her thoughts. "I guess I just-" Emily paused again and Alison tilted her head as she waited for Emily to get the words out. "I just didn't know how you'd feel about-"

"Kissing you in public?"Alison finally took pity on the struggling brunette and finished for her. Emily was obviously a strong and confident woman now, so it was endearing to see her timidity. But Alison knew she had a lot to prove to Emily about how much she'd changed, so it didn't offend her and she actually looked forward to blowing the brunette's mind from time to time.

"Or should I say kissing a girl in public?" Alison added as an afterthought.

Emily shrugged. "I wasn't sure."

Alison reached up and caressed her cheek. "I have no intention of hiding my feelings for you or who you are to me. And I plan to kiss you a lot, in private and in public, so I hope that's okay with you."

Overwhelmed with love for the woman beside her, Emily leaned forward and kissed Alison again, this time a little longer and little more firmly.

"Does that answer your question?" she asked as she sat back and watched Alison's eyes open and slowly clear. But the heat in them didn't fade and Emily felt the look Alison gave her shoot straight between her thighs.

"We better eat this cake before it gets cold," Alison said thickly and Emily reached for the fork beside the plate.

She broke off a piece of the moist dessert and lifted the fork to Alison's lips. The blonde obediently opened her mouth then closed it around the cake.

The moan escaped of its own volition and her eyes closed as the sweet chocolate hit her taste buds.

Emily's lips curved up in a sultry smile as she watched Alison's reaction. She was going to have a lot of fun showing the blonde all the things she could do with chocolate.

Alison slowly swallowed her bite as Emily took a small bite of her own and then the blonde laughed out loud as she saw the reaction on the brunette's face.

"So what does the chocolate snob think of it?"

"The chocolate's a little bitter and watered down and the ganache is gritty like they like they didn't heat it up to the proper temperature or stir it long enough."

Emily realized the critique she gave was probably way more than Alison wanted to know so she looked a bit sheepish as she met the blonde's eyes. She gasped when she saw the blue depths were dark and swirling with desire.

"It is so fucking sexy when you talk about chocolate like that," Alison said with a soft moan.

"Chocolate is all about sweetness and temperature," Emily replied breathlessly as she reached up and brushed a few crumbs from Alison's bottom lip. The blonde's tongue peeked out and brushed against the pad of Emily's thumb and now it was Emily's turn to moan softly.

"We need to get out of here right the hell now," Alison said as she raised her hand to catch the waitresses attention.

Not ten minutes later Emily stood in front of the restaurant waiting for one of the valet attendants to bring Alison's car around while the blonde made a quick stop at the bathroom. Emily felt like her entire body was humming with both desire and anticipation. All she wanted was to get Alison home and finally, _finally_, make love to the woman she'd loved almost half her life.

Another valet attendant, who was standing behind the podium to her left, said something but she missed it because she was lost in thoughts of Alison.

"I'm sorry, could you say that again?"

"I asked if you enjoyed your dinner?" he smiled at her and she nodded.

"Yes, it was delicious," she replied and they started chatting as Emily waited for Alison and the car.

Alison walked out the front door of the restaurant to find Emily casually chatting away with the valet attendant. She sighed at the sight of her mermaid, once again overcome with how incredibly beautiful the brunette was.

Emily laughed at something the guy said and Alison narrowed her eyes as she looked a little closer. The guy was flirting with her girl. And it wasn't lost on Alison that she'd already started thinking of Emily as hers. But she was. The exotic, beautiful, extraordinary woman was hers and she wanted to revel in that.

And it was time Alison staked her claim on her.

She knew she had no reason to be jealous of a guy. But she couldn't help it. She was protective and possessive of the people she loved and, even though she tried very hard to fight that instinct, it reared its ugly green head from time to time despite her best efforts to contain it.

But when Emily's smile brightened as Alison walked up, the blonde's heart fluttered and she realized how silly she was being. She slipped her hand into Emily's just as the valet asked Emily for her number.

Alison shot him one of her trademark glares. "Back off, pal, you're not her type."

"How do you know I'm not her type?" he asked as he flashed his boyish smile toward her now, oblivious to her annoyance.

"Because I'm her type," Alison replied with a triumphant grin just as her car pulled up.

Emily squeezed her hand and chuckled under her breath. Clearly Alison was serious when she said she had no intention of hiding their relationship.

Alison's eyes whipped toward the brunette and she felt relief flood her that Emily wasn't angry. The brunette's eyes were soft and crinkled in the corners as she smiled.

The valet recovered admirably, Alison had to give him that. "Alrighty then. You two ladies have a good night."

"Oh we intend to," Alison purred and shot him a sultry smile as she walked around the car to get into the driver's seat, handing the driver a tip as she did.

As they settled into the car and fastened their seatbelts, Emily turned to look at Alison with a smile. "Did you enjoy your fun?"

Alison attempted to look innocent but failed miserably. "I don't know what you're talking about."

"Uh huh," Emily murmured as she lifted Alison's hand to her lips. "Is our date over? Are you taking me home now?"

Alison expelled a long breath as she fought the urge to climb over the middle console and violate Emily in ten different ways right there in the middle of the parking lot. She bet Mr. Valet would get a little thrill out of it.

"Tonight is just getting started so you're coming home with me," Alison replied before throwing the car into drive.

If she never set foot in Emily's apartment again it would be too soon.

###################

The two women tumbled through Alison's front door, a flurry of desperate hands and lips.

Alison flung her purse across the room as Emily dropped hers to the floor beside the door before kicking it closed with her foot.

Pepe came bounding down the stairs barking enthusiastically at their arrival.

"Go away, Pepe," Alison growled softly at the dog as she pulled her lips away from Emily's. But she couldn't bear to not have the brunette's taste on her tongue for more than a moment, so she dove back in and covered Emily's lips again.

Alison hands fumbled with the belt around Emily's waist, finally pulling it apart and letting it drop on the floor beside them, the metal clanging on the hardwood. Emily's fingers bunched in the hem of Alison's dress and she slid it up the blonde's legs, her fingertips caressing the soft skin on the backs of her thighs. Alison trembled and moaned into Emily's mouth, her tongue seeking and tangling desperately with her mermaid's, the need for air completely forgotten.

Alison wanted to slow down, she in no way wanted to rush this, but the desperation they both so obviously felt took control. She stepped out of her heels and Emily did the same as she walked the blonde backward toward the sofa.

Pepe barked again clearly annoyed at being ignored but neither woman paid him any attention. After a minute or so of listening to the soft, yet increasing in intensity, moans of the two women, Pepe slunk off and up the stairs to sulk. In the far recesses of her mind, Alison knew she would have to make it up to him, but right now all the mattered was she woman whose hands were gripping her ass beneath her dress and whose teeth were sinking gently into her tongue.

Alison's slid her arms over Emily's shoulders and pressed closer, gasping into the brunette's mouth as she felt the back of her legs hit the arm of the sofa. Before she could even register what was happening, Emily was leaning her over and pressing her back onto the couch, settling on top of and in between the blonde's thighs.

"Em," Alison tore her lips away with a long low moan.

Emily pressed her hands into the cushions beside Alison's head as she kissed a hot wet path down over Alison's chin until she reached the hollow of her throat. She swirled her tongue over the pulse point, just above the neckline of her dress, and the brunette moaned as Alison lifted her leg and pressed the heel of her foot into the back of Emily's thigh.

"Baby," Alison whimpered as her hand slipped between them and squeezed the soft flesh of Emily's breast. Emily sucked gently at the base of Alison's throat as she pressed down against her, feeling the heat of the blonde's arousal through her panties. The brunette rocked her hips and Alison's hips instinctively rocked with her desperate to keep their mounds rubbing.

"Em, wait," Alison pleaded with a strangled moan, amazed that she even had the ability to speak.

"No," Emily murmured as she released Alison's skin from her lips, blowing softly on the red mark she left behind before swirling her tongue over it gently.

"Please," Alison said again. "Just stop for a minute."

Emily's shook her head, denying the blonde's request again as her lips slowly brushed up Alison's neck so she could press them against her ear.

"I can't, sweetheart," Emily breathed and Alison trembled at the term of endearment the brunette used. Emily's tongue traced the shell of Alison's ear. "I want you so much."

Alison turned her face and pressed her lips into Emily's hair. "I want you, too, baby. But we can't do this here."

Emily groaned and buried her face in Alison's neck before lifting her head and looking down at the blonde. Her hair fell around them and Alison's eyes fluttered as the ends of the soft strands caressed her face.

"Why are you stopping me?" Emily tried not to sound whiney but she felt like she would absolutely explode if Alison denied them again tonight.

Alison could see the frustration in Emily's dilated eyes and she reached up and curled Emily's hair behind her ear.

"I've waited a decade for this moment," Alison whispered thickly. "And I'm not going to let our first time together be on an uncomfortable sofa."

Emily's relief was palpable and she took a minute to get control of her raging hormones before she retorted teasingly.

"This is a pretty comfortable sofa." Emily wiggled gently on top of Alison causing the blonde to moan. "I have to say I'm quite comfortable where I am."

"You're missing the point, Em," Alison growled but it quickly turned into a chuckle as she pushed Emily off her. She stood before tugging the now pouting brunette to her feet. "Our first time isn't going to be anywhere except my bed."

Alison slid her fingers through Emily's and led her toward the stairs.

"Technically we've been together before," Emily reminded her with a smile as she allowed Alison to guide her upstairs to the second floor.

For one brief second her indiscretion with Courtney flashed into her mind but she forced it away just as quickly. She would forever have to live with that mistake but she refused to let it ruin any part this night or her future with Alison.

"That was different," Alison argued, and if she remembered Emily's transgression, she didn't give any indication because she immediately brought up the night in Alison's room right after she came back to Rosewood instead. "We just made out and you touched my boobs."

"Which was an absolute dream come true for me by the way." Emily said casually just to tease the blonde as they reached the landing.

Alison smirked over her shoulder. "But we didn't have sex that night, Em."

"Well not technically,' Emily conceded as she pressed against Alison's back and wrapped her arms around the blonde's waist from behind. "But there was quite a lot of boobie action if I remember correctly."

Alison laughed at Emily's choice of words as they walked in tandem down the hallway. "Yes I believe _boobie action_ was definitely on the menu that night."

"I've been obsessed with your boobs for as long as I can remember," Emily admitted with absolutely no shame as she lowered her lips to Alison's neck. She brushed them softly against her skin as she lifted her hands and cupped both of the blonde's breasts.

"I'm going to enjoy these so much," she murmured as she squeezed the flesh gently.

Alison inhaled a shuddering breath as her head fell back against Emily's shoulder. "I'm going to enjoy your enjoyment."

Emily chuckled softly and her fingers began circling Alison's nipples.

Alison choked out another moan but was suddenly distracted by the sight of Pepe sprawled on his side of the bed as they walked into the room.

"Someone looks comfortable," Emily murmured as she continued to tease Alison's quickly hardening nipples.

"Oh hell no," Alison said as she reluctantly pulled out of Emily's arms and walked over to the bed. "Sorry, baby," she said as she nudged the dog and urged him off the bed. "You have to find somewhere else to sleep tonight."

"Does he usually sleep there?" Emily asked with a smile.

"Only when I'm alone," Alison replied without thought but then her eyes whipped to Emily to find the brunette looking at her curiously. "Which is ninety nine point nine percent of the time," Alison added quickly as she finally maneuvered the stubborn dog off the bed.

"Nice save," Emily replied drolly and she reached up and caressed Alison's face as she and Pepe walked by her.

Alison stopped and closed her eyes, sighing softly as she pressed her cheek into Emily's hand.

"He bit or peed on the three people I ever brought into this room."

Emily choked out a laugh, even as she wondered who those three people were, and she looked down at the dog who was trying to wiggle his collar out of Alison's grasp.

"Should I be worried then? Is that why you're kicking him out?" she asked jokingly.

"Pepe loves you, as much as me," Alison breathed as she nuzzled Emily's palm.

"Pepe hasn't seen me in over six years," Emily replied as she slid her hand behind Alison's neck.

Alison's eyes fluttered as she felt Emily's fingertips caressing the back of her neck. "He's never forgotten how good you were to us when we needed you," Alison said softly, her eyes shining with adoration. "He'll love you forever for that."

Emily brushed her lips softly against Alison's and the blonde hummed in response.

Pepe finally barked his displeasure at being held against his will and Alison reluctantly pulled her lips away from her mermaid's.

Pepe growled softly as he was herded out of the bedroom but Alison would not be deterred. Nothing and no one was going to come between her and Emily tonight.

"You've got a perfectly good bed downstairs, baby. Go sleep in it," she said as she patted his head and then closed the door before he could try to sneak back in.

Pepe immediately barked from the other side but Alison knew he'd go away. She turned around and saw Emily standing in front of her nightstand with the framed photo of the two of them in her hand.

"I remember this picture," Emily said as she looked over at Alison. "Where did you get it?"

"I asked your mom for a copy of it." Alison replied as she approached the brunette.

"When?"

"That night," Alison admitted softly.

"And you still keep it by your bed?" Emily asked as she put the frame back on the nightstand and pulled the blonde against her.

"Always," Alison breathed as she shuddered at the feel of Emily's body against her own.

"Some people might find that a little creepy," Emily teased but the soft curve of her lips and the look in her eyes told Alison she wasn't one of them.

"If you think that's creepy, you should see the tank top of yours I still wear to bed," Alison murmured as Emily brushed her nose gently against the blonde's cheek.

"Wait, what tank top?" Emily stopped and pulled her head back.

"The one I had on the other night when you came by," Alison said as she slipped her arms around Emily and reached for the zipper on the back of her dress.

Emily's face registered recognition and she laughed. "I thought something about that was familiar."

"It's the one you wore that night in my room," Alison replied referring to the _boobie action_ night. "I snatched it the next morning when you were in the shower.

Emily chuckled again as she followed Alison's lead and tugged the blonde's zipper down. "I wondered what happened to it. That was my favorite one."

Alison wiggled as she let her dress fall to the ground, leaving her in nothing but her matching set of white lace lingerie. "I know. That's why I took it."

"That's even a little creepier than the picture, I have to admit," Emily teased even as she almost swallowed her tongue at the sight of Alison's almost naked form.

Alison felt a shiver come over her from head to toe as she watched Emily's eyes darken as they looked at her in her virtually peek-a-boo lingerie.

"Will you just shut up and kiss me before I spontaneously combust?" Alison asked exasperated as she tugged Emily's dress down her body and let it pool at her feet.

Emily lifted her hands and cupped Alison's face. "With pleasure," she whispered as she lowered her lips to the blonde's.

Alison's head fell back in surrender as she opened her mouth. This kiss was slower and less desperate than the ones downstairs. It was soft and full of love. A gentle meeting of tongues and lips and Alison savored the sweet taste of the woman who was finally hers. She wrapped her arms around Emily and pulled her closer to the bed before sitting down and scooting back onto the mattress.

Emily didn't release her lips; just followed, climbing over and straddling Alison as the blonde settled on her back in the center.

Emily pulled her lips away and kissed a soft, wet path down Alison's body, burying her face between Alison's breasts, still ensconced in her bra. She inhaled deeply letting the scent surround her. She wiggled her face playfully causing Alison to giggle before Emily brushed her lips and her nose between the soft swells of flesh. In response Alison's giggling morphed into wriggling and writhing and whimpering beneath the brunette.

Emily had dreamed of lavishing Alison's breasts with attention and she intended to spend a lot of time in this exact spot. But right now she needed more so she flicked the catch in the center and released Alison's breasts from their confines. She swept the cups aside and immediately wrapped her lips around one of the blonde's nipples.

The brunette felt like she was dreaming. Having this woman spread wide beneath her was a dream come true, so she must have been dreaming or she'd died and gone to heaven.

"Em," Alison whimpered her name and arched her back as Emily suckled softly at first, swirling and flicking her tongue around the now hardened bud in the center.

Emily used the fingers of her other hand to roll Alison's other nipple causing the blonde to buck gently beneath her.

"Baby, please," Alison moaned as she felt a rush of fresh arousal soak her panties, filling the air around them with her scent.

Emily released Alison's nipple with a soft pop and blew on it before switching breasts and lavishing the other one with the same attention.

Alison reached around Emily and unsnapped her bra, letting her breasts fall free before Alison took them in her hands.

Emily whimpered around her nipple before she pulled her lips away and sat up. She tossed her bra aside and looked down at Alison, flushed and beautiful beneath her.

Alison smiled softly up at her as her fingertips traced the waistband of Emily's panties, a silent invitation Emily gladly took.

She pushed off the bed and stood, slipping her panties down her legs. She reached for Alison's panties and tugged them down her legs and tossed them aside as the blonde let her thighs fall open.

Emily swallowed thickly as she looked upon Alison fully naked for the first time. She had waited for this moment for so long it was almost as if her brain stopped functioning and all she could do was stare. Her eyes lingered taking in every inch, memorizing what she'd only imagined up until now.

The blonde was breathtaking. Her body was trim and toned, but curved and ample and soft in all the right places. She was slender but had just enough flesh on her bones to make Emily's fingers itch and flex. The brunette loved having soft, supple and generous flesh to sink her fingers into when she was making love to a woman.

Finally having a full view of them, Emily discovered Alison's breasts were magnificent, just as the brunette always knew they would be. To say Alison was any man or woman's wet dream was an understatement.

Emily, herself, was very lean and long and slim but her hips and waist curved enough, and her breasts were plentiful enough, for her to be viewed as unmistakably feminine. But Alison's body far exceeded feminine. It was what Emily would call womanly, and the sight of her shot frissons of desire straight between Emily's thighs.

Although covered sparsely with light freckles, the majority of Alison's skin was unblemished, except for two spots. The jagged knife scar beneath her right breast from when Courtney stabbed her as a child was faded but still noticeable. It was larger than Emily thought it would be and it still amazed her that she never noticed it all those years ago in the locker room.

The other scar Alison had was above her left breast where Courtney had burned her with the cattle prod on Christmas Eve. It was a raised and textured burn scar, that wasn't very large. But what was on top of it, basically concealing it, was what stunned Emily the most about it; _her name_ written in small dark script surrounded by a heart.

Alison's blue eyes had darkened as she watched Emily peruse her body. Initially it had been with desire as she watched Emily lick her lips as she took her in. But then she saw Emily look at her scars and they clouded with sorrow. Alison wasn't embarrassed by her scars. They were a part of who she was. But the one on the top of her breast, particularly, was a reminder of the torture they both suffered at her sister's hands. She had covered it the only way she knew how and she hoped Emily understood.

"Ali," Emily said questioningly as she lifted her eyes to look at Alison's face once again.

"Not now, Em," Alison said simply and thankfully, after a long moment, Emily nodded, accepting it without question for now.

"You're the most beautiful woman I've ever seen," the brunette breathed and despite her blemishes, Alison felt the truth of those words all the way down to her toes.

She tore her eyes away from Emily's and raked them over her mermaid's body slowly, taking in every last inch of her. She was everything Alison imagined and dreamed and the blonde intended to spend the rest of her life worshiping the woman standing over her.

"You're a goddess," Alison whispered as she held out her hand.

Emily took her hand and climbed onto the bed, straddling Alison's body once again. She sat, this time, settling her weight on the blonde's thighs gently. Alison arched her back and moaned softly as she felt the warm, wet heat of Emily's sex against her skin.

"I need to touch you," Emily whispered and reached a hand toward Alison's left breast, softly fluttering her fingertips over the skin of the underside.

"Em," the blonde whimpered softly as she arched her back deeper. Emily's eyes darkened to almost black as she raised her other hand to Alison's right breast. She gently cupped both of them, now, and brushed her thumbs over the nipples, her hands shaking slightly.

Alison's eyes rolled back in her head and she felt another rush of fresh arousal between her thighs as Emily's fingers teased and taunted her.

"I knew you'd be perfect," Emily breathed as she rolled Alison's nipples between her fingers and thumbs before lowering her left hand to brush over the scar beneath Alison's breast.

He fingers faltered slightly as she felt the rough skin beneath them and her lips curved down into a soft frown. Alison saw the pain in her mermaid's eyes and she placed her hand over Emily's, threading their fingers together.

Emily lifted her eyes to meet Alison's and the heat and desire that had been in the blonde's blue depths had softened.

"It's alright, Em." Alison gently guided Emily's hand up over her breast again and squeezed her fingers, encouraging the brunette to take her pleasure of her soft flesh again. "My scars make me the person I am and I'm okay with that."

Emily flexed her fingers again before leaning down and ghosting her lips over Alison's silky skin. She inhaled deeply as her lips and nose brushed over both breasts and her sternum in between. He inhaled deeply, letting the scent of Alison surround again her before letting her lips travel up over the left breast and press a soft kiss against the small tattoo with her name.

Alison threaded her fingers into Emily's hair and rocked her hips gently, pressing her thigh against the brunette's drenched core.

Emily moaned as she wrapped her lips around one of Alison's nipples and suckled gently, then more strongly, before releasing it and blowing on it softly, causing the blonde to moan long and low.

She could spend hours, uninterrupted, doing exactly what she was doing but she was interrupted by the sound of Alison's hoarse pleading.

"Em, please, don't tease me," Alison begged. "I need you."

Emily just smiled against Alison's skin before she slowly slid her lips over and lavished the same attention on her other breast.

"God," Alison groaned. "You're such a fucking tease."

Emily's lips curved into an even wider smile as she lifted her head and sat up again. "I told you I planned to enjoy those."

Emily's hands continued to stroke and caress Alison from her navel to her neck, keeping her on edge and almost painfully aroused.

"Are you obsessed with all boobs or just mine?" Alison asked as her body shuddered, every cell in her body on sensory overload, and she pressed her fingers into the front of Emily's thighs.

Emily arched a brow and her lips quirked. "Is that a trick question?"

Despite her body's trembling Alison smirked in response. "Nice evasion technique, mermaid."

"That story was really about me, huh?" Emily asked as her fingertips circled Alison's belly button, causing the blonde to giggle softly before her smirk turned soft, into a genuine loving smile.

"Of course it was. That's what I call you, you know? To myself anyway."

"What's that?" Emily asked quietly as she felt the quivering of the muscles beneath the skin of Alison's stomach.

"My mermaid," Alison breathed out a long shuddering breath before she growled lowly. "Now stop teasing and fuck me already."

"It's about time," Emily chuckled softly at Alison's demand as she shifted and settled entire body on top of Alison's. "You lasted longer than I expected."

Alison wrapped her arms and legs around Emily, tightening her thighs around the brunette's hips as her hands slid down and gripped her ass.

"Finally," Alison moaned long and low.

Emily matched her moan as their bodies came together, their breasts melding, as if their bodies were meant for each others. Alison's nipples ached and throbbed against Emily's and the brunette rolled her mound against the blonde's as she took Alison's lips in a long deep kiss.

Alison moaned at the feel of Emily's weight on her and she tightened her legs around her, rolling her hips in tandem with Emily's.

Their kisses were long and languid and deep, a slow savoring that, combined with their bodies moving against one another, drove both of their arousals and desire to skyrocket.

Emily arched her lower body up slightly and slid one hand between them. Her fingers fluttered down Alison's stomach and over her mound. When her fingertips reached Alison throbbing, engorged clit, the blonde bucked beneath her and cried out softly into Emily's mouth.

Emily smiled against Alison's lips and swallowed the blonde's whimper as her fingers teased the little bud, swirling and circling and flicking against the tip. She dipped her fingers lower and gathered Alison's arousal on her fingertips before caressing and stroking the blonde's clit again. Alison's hips rocked and she panted into Emily's mouth as her fingers gripped Emily's ass hard.

Alison's panting quickly morphed into soft chants of Emily's name as the brunette's fingers brought her closer to climax. Emily slid her fingers lower again and buried first one, then a second finger inside Alison. She pumped the digits as her thumb flicked and rubbed her clit, keeping the stimulation constant as she fucked Alison with her fingers.

Alison's hands lifted and gripped the sides of Emily's face before sliding into her long hair. Her panting sped up and their kisses became more frantic as Alison's body drew closer and closer to climax.

Alison slammed her hands down beside her on the mattress, she fisted the duvet in her fingers and she tore her lips away and cried out as her walls clamped down on Emily's invading fingers. Her orgasm rolled over her in long waves as her entire body bucked and rolled beneath Emily's.

"That's it sweetheart, come for me," Emily whispered as she watched Alison's face with a feeling of triumph and awe.

Alison's orgasm lasted longer than Emily was used to but she savored every second of it, determined to draw the blonde's pleasure out as long as she could. She slowed her fingers and took her thumb away from Alison's tender clit, but she continued to pump gently as her thumb circled the outside of her clit until Alison's body finally slowed and calmed and she caught her breath.

Emily nuzzled the side of Alison's face and whispered. "I love you, Ali."

"Oh god, say it again," Alison whimpered breathlessly.

Emily smiled against the skin of Alison's cheek. "I love you," she murmured a second time and she felt Alison tremble beneath her.

"Again," Alison begged as she turned her face and buried it in Emily's glorious hair. "Please tell me again."

Emily pressed her lips to Alison's ear. "I love you."

Alison cupped Emily's face in her hands and pulled her head back so she could look in her girl's eyes.

"You're the love of my life, Emily Fields."

Emily's breath caught in her throat and Alison smiled at her reaction.

Emily pulled her fingers out of Alison and slid them slowly up her body, leaving a wet trail on the blonde's side as Emily brought them to her lips.

Alison almost choked as she watched Emily lick her fingers and close her eyes as she savored the taste of the blonde.

It was too much for her so Alison pulled Emily's lips to her own and moaned at her taste on Emily's lips. Emily moaned and sank into the kiss and Alison used Emily's distraction to roll them over so she could straddle her mermaid.

She pressed her still tender flesh against Emily's thigh before rising to her knees and pulling her lips away.

"Now it's my turn," she murmured as she began a slow descent down Emily's body. Emily stretched and arched her back in pleasure as Alison's lips slowly trailed over her highly sensitized skin. Alison's fingers slipped between Emily's thighs to find the brunette warm and wet. She teased her gently, never giving her direct stimulation on her clit while her tongue and lips covered every inch of Emily's breasts. She suckled and nipped and swirled her tongue around Emily's nipples until the brunette was panting and whimpering.

Only then did she move lower, scooting her body down the mattress as her lips kissed a wet path down Emily's stomach. She dipped her tongue into Emily's belly button and she smiled when she both heard and felt the brunette giggle softly. She continued to use her fingers to arouse and tease Emily, just barely dipping her fingertips between Emily's lips before sliding back out and then around her clit again.

Emily let out a sound that was a combination of a growl and a whimper and it drove Alison's mouth lower, until she finally settled on her stomach between the brunette's thighs.

Her warm breath blew over Emily's swollen and wet flesh and Alison inhaled deeply, the scent of her mermaid's arousal invaded her senses. The sight of the pink wet flesh made her mouth water. But as she was about to dive in, she felt Emily's fingers against her cheek.

Alison lifted her eyes and saw that Emily had lifted her head and was looking down at her. The love and trust she saw took her breath away.

"I don't last long this way," Emily admitted and it just made Alison's lips curve into a sultry smile.

"You don't need to," Alison replied as she kissed the inside of Emily's thigh while never taking her eyes off the brunette. "But I won't stop until _I'm _done so I hope you're a woman who enjoys multiple orgasms."

Emily's eyes rolled back and she let her head fall back as she whimpered rather than respond with words. Alison took that as agreement and took her first lick of her mermaid.

As the taste of Emily hit her tongue Alison thought her head would explode. The slick arousal coated her tongue and Alison lapped it up hungrily. Emily's taste was exquisite and addictive and Alison knew she would happily spend the rest of her life exactly where she was.

She pushed Emily's thighs further apart and flicked and swirled her tongue over and around Emily's swollen clit before slipping her tongue lower and thrusting it inside Emily. She felt Emily's thighs shaking around her head and she smiled as the brunette's hips started rocking gently.

Alison used her fingers to spread Emily wider and she wrapped her lips around the brunette's clit. She sucked and flicked taking long sips of the hard bud as she slipped one finger into Emily's body. Almost instantly she felt Emily's walls tighten and clench around her finger.

Her mermaid was telling the truth, she did come fast. And that knowledge just drove the blonde on, further determined to make Emily come as many times as she possibly could.

"Ali," Emily's voice cried out as the blonde pumped her finger and sucked her clit until Emily was begging her for mercy.

But Alison didn't relent. She pulled her fingers from inside Emily but she just replaced them with her tongue. She rolled her head so her nose brushed against Emily's clit as she fucked the brunette as deep as she could with her tongue.

Over and over Alison brought Emily to orgasm with her tongue and her teeth and her fingers until finally Emily clamped her thighs around Alison's head so tight the blonde thought she might lose consciousness from lack of oxygen.

Then, and only then, did Alison relent.

She softened her tongue and soothed Emily's throbbing and aching flesh gently.

"Ali," Emily murmured because that was all she had the energy to do.

Alison slowly kissed her way back up until she settled her body on top of Emily's.

Emily smiled and turned her face so Alison could kiss her. Alison obliged her with soft sips of her lips.

"Have I died and gone to heaven?" Emily joked between kisses.

"Nope, you're still here on earth with me," Alison smiled and leaned down to press her lips to Emily's ear. "But you taste like it."

Emily turned and urged Alison onto the bed beside her. She wrapped her arms around the blonde and pulled her close, hiking Alison's thigh up over her hip.

"Thank god we both do," Emily teased as she kissed Alison again. "It would really suck if after all this we found out we weren't compatible sexually."

Alison laughed because of both Cece's comment earlier. Boy was she ever fucking wrong. But she also laughed because the old Emily she knew would never make jokes about sex but just as Alison had once teased her, Emily Fields was oh so very sexy in the sheets.

Grateful and happy, Alison wiggled closer and pressed a kiss to Emily's throat.

"Compatibility will never be an issue for us, but maybe stamina. I hope you can keep up with me," the blonde purred as she teased back.

Emily choked out another laugh and then she rolled Alison onto her back and crawled over her again, settling down and brushing her nose between Alison's breasts. "You better hope you can keep up with me."

Emily nuzzled the inside of Alison's breast, gently brushing her lips against the soft swell of flesh. Alison smiled as her fingers combed through Emily's long chestnut hair and she lifted her head and buried her nose into the silky locks.

"Em," she murmured through a soft sigh. "Maybe we should take a little break though to recharge."

She felt Emily's lips curve into a smile against her skin and her body trembled beneath her mermaid's again. Alison tightened her thighs around Emily's hips as she arched her back, releasing a shuddering breath as Emily's lips just barely caressed her skin.

Slowly Emily's lips moved up to softly brush over the small tattoo adorning the top swell of Alison's left breast. The brunette swirled her tongue gently over the slightly raised skin before pressing a soft kiss against it.

Emily lifted her head and looked into Alison's eyes as the fingers of her right hand traced her name and the heart around it. "I can understand you wanting to cover it but why my name?"

"If I was putting anything permanent on my body, it was your name."

Emily's eyes softened and she brushed a few strands of hair off Alison's forehead. She swallowed back the lump that formed in her throat at Alison's words before she leaned up and kissed the blonde softly. Alison opened her mouth and whimpered as she felt Emily's tongue sweep inside and meet her own.

Alison lifted her legs and wrapped them around Emily as she rolled her hips, pressing their mounds together again. Emily moaned into her mouth and Alison slid her hands down Emily's back, gripping the brunette's ass before sliding one hand around between them. The blonde slid her fingers lower, over Emily's wet and warm flesh.

"Ali," Emily tore her lips away and buried her face in Alison's neck. Alison's fingers circled the brunette's still slightly tender clit, massaging and tickling the little bud as Emily's body trembled on top of her.

Emily swirled her tongue over the soft skin of Alison's throat, unable to form any coherent words as Alison's fingers once again pleasured her.

Alison turned her head and pressed her lips to Emily's ear. "You feel so perfect against my fingers." The blonde sunk her teeth gently into Emily's lobe as her fingers sped up slightly. "Better than I ever imagined."

Emily rocked her hips between Alison's thighs; pressing down against her fingers as the blonde slipped them lower, sliding first one, then a second inside her. Like Emily had done to her, Alison plunged her fingers slowly several times as her thumb pressed against Emily's clit.

Emily panted harshly against Alison's neck as small whimpering sounds escaped her lips, causing Alison to smile triumphantly. There was nothing more she wanted than to draw those sounds from Emily's lips for the rest of her life.

"Roll with me, baby," Alison whispered as she lowered one leg and used her foot for leverage as she rolled them over.

The brunette gasped and chuckled, which came out as more of a breathy moan, at the sudden movement. She settled back onto the mattress as Alison slipped her fingers out of her. "You're pretty good at that," Emily raised an eyebrow as Alison settled on her knees between the brunette's thighs.

"I'm good at a lot of things." Alison grinned down at her as she pushed Emily's thighs wider. "Why don't you let me show you," the blonde purred as she started to lean down, intending to cover Emily's sex with her mouth again, but the brunette stopped her.

Emily shook her head, her eyes black once again, and she sat up, pushing Alison backward on the bed.

The blonde looked up at her curiously as her body settled into the mattress again, her head at the foot of the bed now. Emily pushed Alison's thighs apart and crawled down her body, settling on her stomach between them, hiking the blonde's leg over her shoulder. She turned her face and kissed the soft skin of the inside of Alison's thigh before sucking gently.

The scent of Alison surrounded her and she felt almost drunk on it. She looked up to see Alison's head raised off the mattress as she looked down at her.

"It's my turn," Emily murmured as her tongue slipped between her lips and swept over the warm, wet, pink flesh between Alison's thighs.

"Oh, fuck."

The words and sound that escaped the blonde's lips was almost inhuman but it spurred Emily on and she returned the favor, using her lips and tongue and teeth to bring her love to orgasm over and over until it was her turn to beg for mercy.

When the two women finally fell into an exhausted sleep in the wee hours of the morning, amidst soft "I love you's," Alison finally felt like she was truly home for the first time in her life.

* * *

**Second Author's Note:**

**The next update won't be for a few weeks at least. My mother-in-law is coming to visit (need I say more…lol), then I have two back to back work trips…. so needless to say I'm barely going to have time to breath for the next few weeks… but I'll be back when I can.**

**In the interim… I'll leave you with a short little snippet from the next chapter. Now that these girls have finally gotten together it's time to deal with the aftermath of their choice… This is the unedited scene so please excuse any typos.**

**Enjoy and see you in a few weeks.**

* * *

Hanna's hand swung out and connected with Alison's cheek before anyone else in the room could register what was happening.

"Hanna," Emily gasped horrified and angry as she instinctively stepped in front of her girlfriend protectively, glaring at one of her oldest and best friends.

"Hanna!"

"Hanna!"

"Damn, Hanna!"

"Hey, bitch!"

Also all rang out in unison from Aria, Jason, Spencer and Cece respectively.

"What?" Hanna scoffed as she crossed her arms, looking completely unapologetic. "She deserved it and you all know it."

Alison held her stinging cheek with one hand. That was the second time, in recent history, she'd been slapped by a woman who loved Emily. And she was getting damn tired of it.

"You have no right-" Emily started but Alison put her other hand on her girl's arm.

"It's okay, Em," she soothed her irate mermaid softly.

Emily's head whipped around and she looked at Alison with shock.

"No it isn't, Alison. She has no right to lay a hand on you."

Alison felt a rush of love so fierce for her girl she wanted to tackle her, but, instead, she just smiled warmly and squeezed Emily's forearm because no one in this room wanted or needed to see how she planned to thank her mermaid later for defending and protecting her.

"Damn fucking right she has no right," Cece growled as Spencer cut in and tried to be the voice of reason.

"Everyone needs to just calm down. Han, you're way out of line right now."

Emily lifted her hand to softly caress Alison's quickly reddening cheek, causing the blonde to sigh softly. Her girl's touch always made everything better.

"You're just pussying out now that we're here," Hanna retorted. "You're as pissed at her as I am."

Alison's eyes slid from Emily's over to meet Hanna's and the warmth in them changed to steely cold.

She stepped around Emily and closer to Hanna, who stood straighter and held her ground.

"Oh shit, here it comes," Cece murmured from where she was standing beside Jason by the dining room table.

The two blonde's faced off as the silence in the room became deafening.

Finally Alison spoke.

"That's the one and only free pass you get, Hanna. The next time I hit back."


	8. Chapter 8

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything related to PLL. **

Hello again! I haven't watched the show in a couple of years so I don't know everything that's happened. But I have watched the last couple of episodes because I knew the series was finally ending. So I know Emison just got together. I guess it's better late than never. I lost my muse for this story during my hiatus from it but something has struck a chord in me again so here I am keeping my word and finishing it. I hope it hasn't been forgotten. Thank you to all who have read this and all my other stories and for your patience while I was away.

This story was started in late 2014 (posted in early 2015) so it is AU as of Season 5, Episode 12. It is a sequel to my story "Ali's Nightmare Before Christmas", my version of the Season 5 Christmas episode where I revealed that "A" was Ali's twin Courtney. Therefore, please remember in this story Cece is NOT related to Ali and Jason and she was not "A".

You may want to go back and read that story and reread the first chapters of this one before you read this chapter because what happens is VERY different than what actually happened on the show.

Enjoy! And if you are so inclined, please leave a review. Thanks.

* * *

**Breathe Again – Chapter 8**

The sound of her phone ringing caught Alison's attention as she went over the storyboards for her shoot. She only had two more set ups and then she could call it a day.

"Regan, grab my phone, will ya?" she called to her assistant, of only a few months, who was standing nearby. Regan reached into the blonde's camera bag and grabbed the phone before handing it to Alison. Her lips curved upward when she saw the name on the screen.

"Hi baby," she purred into the phone as she answered it. Just the anticipation of hearing her girl's voice made Alison shiver. She'd reluctantly left the brunette sleeping, naked, in her bed before the sun came up in order to make her call time. She and Emily had only been, officially, dating for a little over a month but Alison could hardly remember what it was like before the girl she loved came back into her life. But she didn't want to think about the train wreck that was their past. She wanted, only, to focus on the present and future.

"Hi sweetheart," Emily greeted and Alison could hear the smile in the brunette's voice.

"Mmmm, I love when you call me that." Alison lowered her voice an octave as she watched her assistant walk away, having quickly learned when to get lost without Alison having to tell her. "Especially when you whisper it in my ear when you're naked on top of me."

Emily hummed softly in return. "I wish that's where I was right now."

"Me too," Alison breathed in response. "Are just getting out of work?" the blonde asked although she knew the answer due to the late hour.

"Yeah, about five minutes ago. Are you still on set? How's the shoot going?"

"Fucking slow as hell," Ali sighed as she set her storyboard on the chair beside her. "The rain slowed us down just after sunset but we should be done within the hour."

"Long day," the brunette mused sympathetically. "You must be tired."

"A little," the blonde admitted with a smile. "What's that noise?"

"My mailbox has been sticking lately," Emily replied as the sound of clanging metal came through the phone. "I have to let the landlord know."

"You're at your place?" Alison asked, surprise in her voice.

"Yeah."

"Oh," Alison said thoughtfully as she heard the door clang shut. "Why are you there? I thought you were staying over tonight."

"I'm planning to," Emily replied as she stepped over and into the elevator as the door slid open. "But this is the first time I've checked my mail in a week, Ali, and I'm running out of clothes."

"You don't need clothes when you're at my place," Alison purred again and Emily hummed lowly in her ear making the blonde grin. She loved that sound. Emily made it quite often when the two women were together; usually when Alison said something naughty, which was also quite often. "Clothes are completely overrated."

Emily chuckled because she had no doubt Alison truly believed that. "But I don't think Pierre would appreciate it if I showed up at work naked."

Regan walked over and tapped her wrist to let Alison know everyone was waiting on her but the blonde just waved her away.

"I think you underestimate the power of your naked body, Em," Alison teased even though her stomach twisted at the thought of anyone else seeing her girl naked.

"Alison," Emily laughed and shook her head as she slid here key into her front door. "Don't you have a shoot to finish?"

"I'd rather talk about your naked body," Alison purred yet again because she knew how much Emily loved it when she did.

"Well if you want to see it anytime soon, you should get back to work and finish your shoot."

Even though she sounded like her mother, that was all the incentive Alison needed. "I should be home in an hour or so."

Emily chuckled knowing she'd won this round. That was rare. "I won't be there," Emily said as she rummaged through her closet.

"Huh?" Alison frowned. "But I thought you just said you were-"

Emily tossed some clothes into her duffle bag. "I'm heading over there in a few minutes to take Pepe for a walk but then I'm going back to the restaurant."

"Why?"

Emily smiled at Alison's sulky tone. "Pierre said I could use the kitchen after hours to make the cakes for Ruby's birthday party tomorrow."

Over the last several weeks, Emily made it a habit to accompany Alison to Fields House. But Ruby, their youngest inhabitant, was slow to warm up to the brunette. To say her reception to Emily's presence was standoffish, and a bit chilly, was an understatement. But Emily always brought sweet chocolate treats for the girls and Ruby was a confirmed chocoholic like Alison.

Since Ruby arrived at Fields House, the blonde would often take the young girl to John Kelly Chocolates. The specialty chocolate shop, originally located in Santa Monica, had recently opened a second shop on Abbot Kinney Blvd. in Venice. The two of them would take Pepe, Frankie and Johnny for a walk and _coincidentally_ always just seemed to find themselves in front of the shop.

Alison and the young girl bonded instantly when the blonde picked her up almost seven months ago. Ruby didn't trust anyone, having suffered horrific abuse in her home before she ran away at twelve. She came to Fields House after living on the streets, on her own, for over a year. She was like a skittish kitten but by the time the six hour ride back to Venice was over, she and Alison had formed a kinship after the blonde shared her own stories of being alone on the streets as a young teen. And although Alison was protective of all the girls that came through Fields House, she was particularly so with Ruby. And the young girl worshipped the blonde.

Therefore, when Emily started coming around with Alison, Ruby was originally distant, unapproachable, jealous and gave the brunette the cold shoulder. But no one could resist the beauty and goodness that was Emily Fields for long.

And since Emily had been bringing her decadent homemade chocolate concoctions Ruby's attitude toward the brunette had slowly softened. In an attempt to bridge the distance, the previous weekend Emily asked Ruby to help her make chocolate cupcakes and the young girl lit up like a Christmas tree. So when Emily asked Alison if she could make Ruby's birthday cake, the blonde had been so overwhelmed with love for the brunette she could barely speak. Instead she hurled herself at her mermaid and when they both came up for air, their clothes and the sofa cushions were strewn all over the living room, the coffee table had been flipped on its side, Emily had half-moon fingernail indentations in the skin at the base of her back and Pepe was hiding under the bed upstairs.

Alison's lips curved into a sultry grin at the memory but then it softened before finally turning into a pout. "Well I guess I don't have to rush to wrap it up here then."

"I know you've had a long day but I was thinking maybe you could come by and help me," Emily suggested as she slung her duffle bag over her shoulder and looked around her bedroom to make sure there wasn't anything else she needed.

"Mmmm," Alison hummed. "You know how sexy I think you look in your uniform."

"So should I take that as a yes?" Emily chuckled. The blonde was so easily aroused. Not that the brunette was complaining.

Before Alison could answer Jack walked up beside her. "Lights are hot. What's the hold up, boss?"

Emily locked the front door and started toward the elevator. "I should let you go."

"No! Fuck off, Jack. I'm talking to my girl," Alison said as she glared at gaffer who was completely unfazed by her ire or her cursing.

"Hey Sophia!" Jack leaned closer and called into Alison's phone.

"Sophia?"

Alison punched Jack in the bicep. "Her name is Emily, jackass. I told you to stop calling her that."

"But she's sexy and exotic like Sophia Loren," Jack replied as he shook his arm.

"You do realize Sophia Loren is over eighty, right?" Alison stood up and grabbed her storyboards.

"But did you see her when she was twenty-five?" Jack grabbed her camera bag and slung it over his shoulder as he wiggled his eyebrows in a teasing leer. "She was a freaking goddess. You should be flattered I think your girlfriend is that sexy."

"You keep your eyes and thoughts off my girlfriend, Jack, or they'll never find your body." Alison's voice was low and dangerous but he just laughed.

"Come on, we're all dying to get out of here. The sooner we do this the sooner you can see Sophia."

"I'm the photographer, Jack. Tell everyone to fucking wait," the blonde snapped aggravated.

"Whatever. See you around Sophia," he called as she walked away ducking when Alison threw her storyboards at him.

"Em? I'm sorry. Are you still there?" Alison checked the face of her phone to see if the call was still connected. "Em?"

"I'm here, Ali," Emily smiled as she heard Alison's relieved sigh. "You know, Jack's right. The sooner you finish the sooner you can see me in my uniform. And out of it," she teased.

"You don't play fair, Em. Now how am I supposed to concentrate?" Alison pouted even as she chuckled. She liked this teasing, sultry, side of her girlfriend. She always knew Emily had it in her.

Shy on the streets but sexy in the sheets.

"Come around the back of the restaurant and knock on the kitchen door when you get there."

Alison could hear the smile in her voice. "Alright, baby. I'll see you in a little while."

The blonde reluctantly hung up the call and turned to find her assistant standing in front of her with a knowing smirk on her face. She handed Alison her storyboards.

"Don't say a fucking word, Regan."

##################

"Hi, sweetheart."

Alison stepped into the kitchen, pressing a kiss to Emily's lips as she walked by the brunette who was holding the door open.

"That was fast," Emily smiled as she closed the door behind her girlfriend.

Alison flashed a playful grin as she shrugged out of her jacket. "All you have to do is give me the right incentive and I can be quite efficient."

The blonde looked around the kitchen. The large stainless steel counter was covered in bowls full of ingredients and all sorts of kitchen utensils Alison didn't recognize. The smell of chocolate permeated the air and she moaned softly and involuntarily. She just couldn't help it. Chocolate always had that effect on her.

"Is that moan for me or the chocolate?" Emily asked knowingly as she snorted softly.

Alison's lips curved upward as she stepped closer, letting her eyes rake over Emily in her uniform before she pressed her body against her girl.

"Would you believe me if I said both?" Alison breathed and licked her lips.

Emily gripped her hips and tugged her even closer.

"Actually I would," Emily chuckled as she brushed her nose against Alison's.

"The combination of you and chocolate in the same space should be illegal," Alison replied as she pressed her nose against Emily's cheek and inhaled softly.

"Who would have even known Alison DiLaur… uh… Fields," Emily quickly corrected herself when Alison leaned her head back and narrowed her eyes. "Could be so corny?" she finished, teasing, as she tucked her hands into the back pockets of Alison's jeans. Secretly she loved this side of Alison. Definitely one that was surprising but very much welcome. The blonde was incredibly romantic and not shy at all in showing that side of herself with Emily. In fact, she seemed to delight in it.

"God I fucking missed you," the blonde exhaled as she wrapped her arms around Emily's waist. "Are you going to kiss me or not?"

With a soft sigh of her own Emily reached up and cupped the blonde's face in her palms. "I missed you too, love," she replied before she took Alison's lips in a soft kiss. Alison moaned again and this one was just slightly different than the last. It was deeper, more primal, and Emily swallowed the sound as she kissed the blonde. She slid her fingers up and into Alison's blond locks, tilting her head back so she could deepen the kiss.

What started out as a soft, slow, meeting of lips quickly morphed into a frenetic duel for dominance as Alison opened her mouth and Emily took advantage of the invitation by pressing her tongue against the blonde's. Alison grabbed the front of Emily's uniform and yanked as they stumbled backward until the blonde's ass hit the counter. She groaned softly as her arms wrapped around Emily's waist again and she reveled in the feel of the woman presses against her.

This was something that seemed to happen a lot. All it took was a simple look, an innocent touch or a seemingly soft kiss and, suddenly, it was like an inferno erupted inside them. But they had years of pent up longing and a lot of missed time to make up for and neither of them wanted to fight any part of their feelings for each other any longer.

When the kiss gentled again and their lips parted, Alison exhaled a long breath and pressed her face into Emily's neck as the brunette slipped her fingers out of the blonde's hair and slid them down her back.

"Fuck."

The word slipped past Alison's lips causing Emily to smile. Alison said that word more often than Emily expected. After spending some time with both Alison and Cece together, recently, the brunette understood why. But when Alison said it as they both tried to recover from a kiss like they just shared, Emily didn't mind. There was actually something incredibly sexy about making her girlfriend curse and Emily couldn't stop her urge to press one last kiss to the corner of Alison's mouth.

"You ready to learn how to cook with chocolate?" Emily asked as she forced herself to step back.

Alison arched her brow as she opened her eyes. "I wasn't aware this was a cooking lesson? I just thought I was going to sit by and watch you work your chocolate magic, getting all hot and bothered until I could take you home and defile you in a dozen different ways."

Emily chuckled even as Alison's words settled low in her belly. She grabbed the blonde's hand and tugged her around the counter. "Well, you could do that but if you help me we can get it done faster and then I can give you my surprise."

"I like surprises." Alison's eyes twinkled playfully. "What is it?"

"You'll just have to wait to find out." Emily handed Alison an apron that had been resting on the counter. "Now, put this on."

"Why don't you have one?" Alison asked as she did as she was instructed.

Emily grasped a large bowl from the center of the counter and pulled it toward the edge. "Because I'm in uniform. A chef doesn't wear an apron and uniform at the same time. The uniform is an apron for all intents and purposes."

Alison let her eyes rake over her girl again. "Did you put that back on just for me?"

"As a matter of fact I did," Emily grinned as she pulled Alison closer.

"You're racking up the brownie points tonight," Alison teased but then her voice lowered an octave as her blue eyes darkened. "Although I have to say I'm now picturing you out of that uniform and wearing nothing but one of these aprons."

Emily shook her head and snorted. "If you don't behave, Ali, we're going to be here all night."

Alison stuck out her lower lip but turned around to face the counter. "Fine. But if you think I'm not going to make it my mission to have you in my kitchen in nothing but an apron you don't know me very well at all."

Emily pressed her lips against Alison's ear. "If you behave tonight, I might just do it willingly."

############

For the next twenty minutes, Emily guided Alison through the motions of combining all the ingredients together, having to stop Alison from sticking her finger in the warm chocolate at least a half dozen times.

"Alison," Emily scolded again as she turned back from washing her hands to find her girlfriend with her index finger scraping the side of the second cake pan.

The blonde batted her eyelashes innocently. "What?"

"There is raw egg in that."

Alison shrugged. "You can't expect me to hold out against chocolate, Em. It's like asking me to hold out against you. Not gonna happen."

Emily opened the preheated oven and slid the four cake pans into it before walking to the stove and firing up the burner under the double boiler. She poured the chocolate pieces into the top pan and lowered the flame beneath it.

"So how long do those have to cook?" Alison asked as she wiped the counter down with a wet cloth.

"Thirty-five minutes," Emily replied as she walked back over to the blonde.

"So what do we do now?" Alison asked as she tried, but failed, to hold back a yawn.

"I'm sorry, love," Emily reached up and cupped Alison's cheek, "I didn't think about how doing this tonight would make it such a long day for you after you had to get up so early."

Alison turned her face and kissed Emily's palm. "I'm okay, Em. I can sleep in tomorrow." Alison slid her arms around her mermaid and wiggled against her. "This has been fun. I love watching you in your element. It takes my breath away."

Emily lowered her lips to Alison's and kissed her softly causing the blonde to sigh. "Are you up for more fun while we wait for the cakes to cook?"

Alison's eyes widened in anticipation. "What kind of fun are you talking about?"

The blonde watched as her girlfriend's eyes darkened slightly and her breath caught in her throat.

She knew that look.

And exactly what that look meant.

"Do you know the entire time I was studying at _ecole chocolat _I fantasized about covering you with chocolate and licking then it off you?"

The blonde let out an actual whimper at her girl's words but the images they invoked left her speechless.

Emily reached around Alison and untied her apron before letting it drop to the floor.

"Every new class I took, I imagined using your body as a canvas," Emily continued softly and Alison inhaled a shuddering breath as the brunette's name escaped her lips. Alison trembled as her girlfriend's fingers tugged on the button of her jeans before pulling Alison's shirt out of the waistband.

Alison's voice shook as she spoke. "Should we really do this here?"

"We should _absolutely_ do this here," Emily replied and Alison moaned at the confidence in her girl's voice. "Up," the brunette urged and Alison lifted her arms so Emily could remove her shirt.

"Em," Alison breathed as she lowered her arms and leaned forward, pressing her lips against Emily's. The brunette returned the kiss as she reached around and unsnapped Alison's bra.

She tossed it aside before her hands came up and cupped the blonde's breasts in her palms.

Alison moaned into her mouth and clutched at her girl. Emily released Alison's lips and brushed her own along the blonde's cheek.

"I've thought about nothing but getting you on this counter for weeks," Emily whispered against Alison's ear as she rolled her girlfriend's nipples between her thumbs and forefingers.

"Oh, fuck," Alison's head fell back and her eyes closed. Emily slipped her tongue out and slid it down Alison's throat, alternating between swirling, tasting and sucking the soft skin gently.

Alison tugged at the knot on the back of Emily's head, releasing her hair before burying her face into it. She felt the sensations from Emily's tongue and fingers all the way down between her thighs. She released a long breath that morphed into a soft groan as Emily's fingers released her nipples and returned to her pants. The brunette lowered the zipper and pushed Alison's jeans down her hips before grasping the blonde's waist.

"Up," she said again as she lifted Alison onto the stainless steel counter.

Alison hiccupped softly against Emily's neck as the she felt the cold metal through her silk panties and against the back of her thighs.

Emily pulled back and crouched down as Alison toed off her shoes. The brunette removed her jeans quickly and threw them to her left.

"Don't move," she said as she stood up and turned back to the stove. She dipped her fingertip into the melting chocolate, stirring it as Alison watched her, panting softly.

Emily removed the chocolate from the burner. "Be careful," Emily warned as she stepped between Alison's thighs and set the bowl on the counter next to the blonde. "The chocolate isn't too hot but the bowl is."

Alison leaned back on her elbows and swallowed, her body vibrating with anticipation. She watched as her girl's tongue peeked between her lips as she lifted a small spatula out of the bowl, warm liquid chocolate dripping from the end.

"Are you ready, love?" Emily asked as she turned to look at Alison, a mischievous grin curving her lips.

Alison's lips curved to match her girl's and she nodded because that was all she was capable of doing at the moment.

Then she moaned long and low as the warm liquid met her skin.

#############

"God, Em," Alison whimpered as she arched her back over the stainless steel counter top.

Emily continued to smile from where she stood between Alison's spread thighs. She slowly drizzled thin lines of the warm decadent liquid chocolate confection over Alison's skin, making a figure eight pattern around and between her breasts; slowly making her way to the middle where the blonde's hard nipples pebbled in the center.

"That feels so good," Alison whimpered again for the fourth time in as many minutes.

"I told you it's all about the temperature," Emily replied breathlessly as she watched Alison's body writhe in pleasure.

"Fuck," Alison groaned and she arched her back deeper as the warm chocolate coated her skin, sending shivers of pleasure through her entire body.

"You're such a potty mouth," Emily chuckled but she knew Alison couldn't help it.

Emily finished drizzling the last light line around Alison's nipple then she stepped back to admire her handiwork.

Alison opened her eyes, the blue irises darker and full as she gasped for breath.

"You're so beautiful spread out for me like this," Emily whispered reverently before she stepped sideways and turned.

"Where are you going?" Alison pouted hoarsely.

"I need one more thing. Don't move," Emily commanded again softly as she stepped over to the refrigerator and pulled open the steel door, pulling out a bowl of freshly whipped cream.

The timer for the cakes went off and Emily sidestepped to the oven to pull them out and set them on the cooling racks.

"Now we just have to wait for them to cool."

"How long is that?" Alison asked breathlessly.

"Long enough," Emily murmured as she stepped back between Alison's thighs and set the bowl down. The blonde trembled and started to sit up but Emily pressed her hand on her stomach. "No. You'll ruin my masterpiece if you sit up." Emily looked around. "I need a picture of this. Where's your phone?"

Alison's lips curved into a sultry grin. "In the back pocket of the jeans you tossed across the room a few minutes ago."

Emily walked over and retrieved Alison's phone. The blonde remained leaning on her hands as her heated gaze followed Emily. Her nipples ached and throbbed in anticipation as did the flesh between her thighs. Alison briefly looked down at her breasts and she swallowed thickly. She was so aroused by what Emily had just done. And, as thoughts of what Emily would be doing soon assaulted her mind, she felt another rush of arousal soak her panties.

Emily stepped between her thighs again and snapped a couple of pictures. Alison leaned back, resting on her elbows now. She gasped as the cold steel of the countertop assaulted her warm skin again.

"You don't even really like chocolate," Alison mused as she watched Emily put her phone on the counter and then take a dollop of fresh whipped cream and drop it onto her nipple. "Oh," she moaned softly as the combination of warm and cold registered.

Now Emily's lips curved seductively. "I have a feeling I'm going to love the taste of it today."

And the brunette was sure she was. Just the thought of the chocolate mixed with the taste of Alison's skin was making her mouth water.

"Em, baby," Alison whimpered and writhed softly as Emily dropped a dollop of whipped cream on her other nipple before setting the bowl aside.

Emily pushed Alison's thighs wider and pulled her ass to the edge of the counter. She grasped the waistband of Alison's panties, the last remaining piece of clothing the blonde wore and tugged them down. Unable to wait a second longer, she leaned down and slowly swirled her tongue around Alison's right nipple, lapping up the sweet cream mixed with chocolate as the blonde's eyes rolled back in her head.

"You could so get fired for this if anyone finds out," Alison choked out softly.

Emily grinned as she lifted her head and licked her lips. "That's the brilliance of stainless steel. The chocolate cleans off easily and quickly."

"There's going to be a lot more than chocolate on this counter if you keep that up," Alison moaned long and low as Emily's tongue once again swirled softly up and over the soft mound of Alison's other breast.

The brunette caressed Alison's thighs, her fingers slowly moving toward the warm wet flesh between.

When she heard Alison gasp, Emily's lips curved again.

She was just getting started.

############

Emily laughed as she watched Alison get bowled over by a trio of excited dogs as she and Ruby played fetch with them. Nicole sat on the bench beside her also chuckling at the sight taking place on the back lawn.

"Those dogs sure love Ali."

"Yes they do," Emily murmured sharing both Nicole's and the dog's sentiments. Nicole handed her a cup of coffee. "Thanks," Emily said.

The picnic table was still covered in the desert plates, although none of them had even a crumb left. As usual, Emily's deserts were devoured like they were the last food on earth. Holbrook, or Gabe as Emily was getting used to calling him now, was sitting in a chair next to the fire pit beside the patio chatting with one of the bodyguards, Jason and Cece.

Alison insisted that both her brother and friend attend Ruby's birthday because the girl didn't have many friends due to being home schooled by Nicole while they were waiting for word from social services about what foster home was being selected for her.

Just a few days prior Alison had petitioned the courts for Ruby to be able to remain at Field's House permanently since she couldn't go home. The abuse she suffered was proven when social services visited her parent's home and found evidence of what they had done to the girl. It was a long shot but Alison was determined to keep the girl and when Alison became determined about something she usually got her way.

Emily glanced toward the fire pit again and Cece caught her eye, giving the brunette her signature Cece smirk. In the month that Emily and Alison had been dating, Emily had only seen Jason and Cece twice, but Alison's closest friend, and brother's girlfriend, had already made it clear she was watching Emily.

_"__I believe you love her, Americano. But no matter how 'lovey dovey Ali' gets with you right now she's never going to be some docile perfect girlfriend."_

_"__I love her the way she is, Cece," Emily insisted as she and Cece faced one another in Alison's kitchen while the blonde in question showered upstairs. "And I know the baggage she comes with. We both come with baggage and accept that about each other."_

_"__You don't know half the fucking baggage she comes with Emily," Cece snarled as she emphasized Emily's name rather than her nickname now. Emily refused to flinch and the Cece sighed. "I promised Alison I won't interfere. And I won't. I want the two of you to work out because she loves you but know that I've got my eye on you. I won't let anyone hurt her ever again."_

_"__Neither will I," Emily replied with a defiant lift of her chin._

_Cece looked at her through narrowed eyes before her lips curved into her signature smirk. "That protective girlfriend thing is kinda sexy on you, Americano." _

Since that day, she and Cece seemed to have a mutual truce. But the brunette wondered if it would last because Cece was even more volatile than Alison. Emily's eyes slid back to her girlfriend who was grinning at her from her prone position on the grass as Pepe plopped down on her legs. Emily smiled still amazed at the turn her life had taken. She had Alison back and the blonde loved her. Most days Emily felt like she was in a dream because it wasn't possible to be this happy. It wasn't possible for someone to get exactly what they absolutely wanted. But she, Emily Fields, had somehow done it.

"Thank you for the cakes, Emily," Nicole said and Emily gave her attention back to the woman she'd momentarily forgotten was beside her. "You made Ruby's entire day. I think you've successfully won her over. I heard her tell Katie the other day, and I quote 'it would really suck" if you didn't make her birthday cake"

Emily smiled. "I was happy to do it. I think Alison had fun helping me too," the brunette said and tried to hide her smirk behind her mug as she took a sip of coffee.

"Based on that grin, I'd say you both had fun." Nicole said casually but her meaning wasn't lost on Emily and she felt the heat rise into her cheeks because she realized her meaning wasn't lost on Nicole either.

"Leave my girl alone," Alison said as she dropped down onto the bench beside Emily and squeezed the brunette's thigh gently. She was disheveled, her hair tangled from the wind and playing with the dogs and Emily reached up and pulled a few strands of grass from the golden locks.

"What?" Nicole batted her eyelashes innocently. "I only said I'm sure you had fun helping Emily bake."

"Uh huh," Alison replied but the memories of the previous night were still fresh in her mind and she swallowed thickly with a quick heated glance at Emily before licking her lips. The blonde chuckled with mirth as her girl continued to blush. It made her want to kiss Emily breathless but no one here wanted to see that, Alison was sure.

"So I hear congratulations are in order," Nicole said as she sipped her coffee.

Emily looked confused as Alison leaned across the table for her iced tea. "What are you talking about?"

"Jason said you got the Sports Illustrated gig."

Alison laughed as she sat back on the bench. "Yeah, he's so fucking jealous he can't see straight."

Now Nicole looked confused. "Why? He isn't a photographer."

Alison dropped her hand to Emily's knee again and Emily entwined their fingers under the table. "Like that matters. He just wants me to take him with me."

"Why do I suspect that won't go over well with Cece," Nicole replied drolly.

Alison snorted. "She doesn't give a shit as long as I take her too."

"Where's it going to be?"

"Fiji," Alison said as she felt Emily caressing her palm gently.

"Damn, I'm jealous too," Nicole replied before looking at Emily again. "Are you going with her, Em?"

Alison pouted as she moved closer to her mermaid. "I'm trying to convince her to ask he boss for the time off but I haven't succeeded yet."

Emily shot Alison a sideways glance. "Ali, I haven't even been at Chez Pierre for five months. I can't ask for time off yet."

Alison rested her head on Emily's shoulder and batted her baby blues at her girl. "You wouldn't have to come for the whole shoot. I'll be there for three weeks but why can't you get like a week? Don't you want to see me in a skimpy bikini?"

"Ali," Emily said with a regretful sigh because they'd been going round and round about this since Alison found out over week ago. "I would love to go with you but I can't."

Alison's teasing pout turned genuine and she released Emily's hand to clench her fingers in her lap. She'd spent six years without Emily and the thought of being without her for three weeks was making Alison nauseous. Just last week Alison had traveled to San Francisco for a four-day shoot that was scheduled months in advance and being away from Emily for just those four days made the blonde want to crawl out of her skin.

Music started blaring out of the patio speakers and Ruby bounced up to the table before grabbing Alison's arm. "Come on we're all gonna dance."

Several of the girls were already dancing on the grass to the left of the fire pit.

Alison shook her head. "Not tonight, kid. The pooches did a number on me. But you go have fun."

Ruby stuck her lower lip out in a pout and Emily wondered briefly if Alison taught her how to do it because it was very familiar. "It's my birthday, you can't deny me."

Alison scowled at the, now, fourteen-year-old just as Cece called over.

"Get off your ass, Ali, and get over here and dance."

Cece was dragging a scowling Jason toward the grass and a small chuckle escaped Emily's lips because it was apparently a family trait.

"You heard, Cece. Get off your ass, Ali," Ruby repeated as she danced in her spot beside Alison.

"Ruby, language," Nicole scolded and the girl smirked as she continued to tug at Alison. Touch by Little Mix started and Ruby squealed.

"I love this song. Please, Ali?"

"Alright," Alison snapped but with less heat than she would have used with most people as she yanked her arm away from the girl.

"Yes," Ruby squealed again as she ran around and grabbed Nicole's hand. "You too, Nicole."

Alison watched as Nicole let herself be dragged toward the grass and she reached for Emily's hand again as she stood up. "Come on, baby. If I have to do this, so do you."

Emily set her cup on the table and allowed her girlfriend to drag her out to the lawn where the rest of the party had congregated.

Emily watched as Alison began to move her hips in the same beat as the music. The brunette released her hand and gripped her hips, pressing against her back as she swayed her own in unison with the blonde.

Alison turned around and slid her arms over Emily's shoulder as she pressed against her girl just as a commotion came from the side yard. The blonde pulled away and turned to see what was going on. One of the bodyguards was struggling with a male figure Alison instantly recognized as Melanie's ex-boyfriend, Ethan. The seventeen-year old girl who was terrorized and stalked by her ex for the better part of two years had recently been relocated to a halfway house on the East coast for both her and the other residents of Fields House safety. Her scumbag ex was still in prison at the time. But apparently he was out now and, as predicted, had come back for her again.

All three dogs were barking and growling and snapping at the intruder as the guard struggled with him and Jason rushed over to assist. Melanie had once confessed that her ex was a meth addict and as Alison knew from experience it could often give a person was appeared to be superhuman strength. Ethan was already a large guy in his twenties and so she wasn't surprised the one guard was struggling with him. It was the main reason she insisted on multiple guards at the house.

"Where the hell is Gabe?" Nicole asked quickly as she turned to the teen beside her. "Shut that music off, Erin."

"Pepe, come here" Alison commanded sternly but the dog just continued to growl and bark at the intruder along with Frankie and Johnny. Frankie had latched onto his pant leg and was shaking his head as the thug tried to kick her.

"Where is she?" Ethan spat angrily as he continued to struggle against the two men holding him. "Melanie, get out here or I'm going to fucking kill you?!"

"Pepe," Alison commanded her dog again before turning her wide eyes to her girlfriend. "Em, can you get Ruby and the other girls inside please?"

Emily nodded quickly and rushed to wrangle the girls while Alison moved closer.

"You!" Ethan lunged toward Alison as she attempted to grab the dogs by their collars. "This is your fucking fault."

She stumbled back and landed on her ass just as Gabe and the guard from out front came rushing out of the house.

"Get back!" the cop barked as he ran past Alison.

"Is this that fucking creep?" Cece rushed over the help Alison up as Emily came barreling out of the house.

"Ali?"

"I'm fine, Em," Alison insisted as her girlfriend reached her and yanked her around so she could rake her eyes over her frantically to see if she was hurt.

Gabe and the two guards finally got Ethan onto the ground where Gabe was able to handcuff him while Jason and Cece managed to wrangle the dogs who were still growling and barking

"How the fuck did he get in here?" Alison snarled at Gabe, her eyes flashing furiously.

"He came over the wall beside the house," the original guard who caught him said. "He must have cut through the neighbors back yard."

"Jason, get those dogs in the house before I scream," Alison snapped in what was a very good imitation of a scream. Jason and Cece dragged the still agitated dogs toward the house. "Gabe, get him out of here. How the hell does he keep getting out? I want to press charges again."

Gabe nodded as he yanked Ethan off the ground and started shoving him toward the gate. Ethan struggled harder against them and then turned his menacing gaze toward Alison.

"Wherever you sent her I'll find her, bitch. And after I do, I'm coming back for you," he threatened and Alison just scoffed.

"You think you scare me, asshole? Please," she scoffed again. "I've stared down girls scarier than you."

He stopped struggling and stared at her coldly. "You and I aren't done, Blondie," he said his voice low and dangerous.

"Bring it on," she spat before turning and striding toward the house.

##############

Alison sat on the edge of the bed gingerly and released an aggravated sigh. She and Emily had just gotten home from Fields House and the disaster that had become Ruby's party. It took a couple of hours to get all the girls calmed down after Ethan crashed it and for additional security to arrive. At this rate she was going to go bankrupt trying to keep the girls safe from that psycho. Even though Alison knew he was in jail and wouldn't be getting out anytime soon she wasn't taking any chances. Nicole was right they were going to have to throw a fundraiser soon.

"I think I bruised my fucking ass."

Emily exited the bathroom in her shorts and tank top as Alison groaned as she shimmied out of her jeans.

"Let me look at it," the brunette said softly as she walked around the bed.

Alison's lips curved into a sultry grin as she kicked her pants away. "You wanna check out my ass, baby?"

"Ali, this isn't funny." Emily frowned as she reached for Alison's hands.

"No it isn't. Bruising your ass really hurts."

Emily pulled the blonde, who grunted softly, to stand. "Do you really think it was wise to bait him like that Ali?"

The brunette took Alison's place, sitting on the edge of the bed, and turned the blonde around.

"Probably not," Alison admitted. "But you know me, I can't help myself when people I care about are threatened."

Emily pushed Alison's t-shirt up and brushed her fingers over the skin above her tail bone. "I don't see any bruising," she murmured.

"Maybe you should kiss it better," Alison purred as she looked over her shoulder, her eyes twinkling.

Emily snorted softly as she looked up at the blonde. She kept her eyes on Alison's as she leaned forward and pressed a soft kiss against the base of her spine.

Alison inhaled a shuddering breath. "Baby," she whispered as she turned to face Emily. She was so glad to be home with her mermaid and all she wanted to do was forget the dickhead who ruined the party and lose herself in her girl.

Emily gripped the hem of her shirt and pushed it up to reveal the blonde's abdomen. She leaned forward and pressed another soft kiss just above her panty line. Alison slid her fingers into the brunette's long glorious hair as she stepped closer and tilted Emily's head back.

Alison leaned down and pressed her lips to Emily's as the brunette gripped the outside of her thighs. The blonde moaned as Emily opened for her and she deepened the kiss instantly. She pushed Emily backward and the brunette shifted further on the bed as Alison climbed over her, straddling her hips and pressing down.

"Ali," Emily moaned into Alison's mouth as she slipped her fingertips beneath the back of Alison's panties. The blonde wiggled softly as she continued to kiss her mermaid soft and deep.

Alison rocked her hips gently, pressing down on her girl and grinding her mound against the brunette's. Emily bucked her hips upward as she sunk her fingers into soft flesh of Alison's ass.

The blonde pulled her lips away and sat up. She lifted her shirt over her head and flicked the front clasp of her bra, freeing her breasts, and she grinned as she saw her girl's eyes darken with lust. Emily immediately reached up and cupped the soft globes and Alison's head fell back with a low moan as she covered Emily's hands with her own.

The brunette squeezed her fingers and started rolling Alison's nipples. They both loved it when Emily teased her breasts. Emily because she'd been obsessed with them since she was fourteen and to have free reign with them was a dream come true for her. And Alison because of the way her girl worshipped them and because until Emily the blonde didn't know it was possible to orgasm from stimulation to her breasts alone.

"Em," Alison whimpered and leaned down to kiss her girl. "I think my bruised ass is gonna require me to be on top tonight," she smiled against Emily's lips when the brunette laughed and nodded her agreement.

Alison used any excuse to be the top. Although she very much enjoyed surrendering to Emily sometimes, reveling in the weight of her girl on top of her, she liked control. That was just Alison Fields.

Alison pushed up on her hands. "Lose the shirt, mermaid," she mumbled and then helped Emily to remove it. Once both women were topless, Alison settled on top of her girl and they both moaned softly.

"How did I ever live without this," Alison groaned. "Without you," she added as she buried her face in Emily's neck, swirling her tongue over the soft skin, tasting the thin sheen of sweat starting to form.

Emily slipped her hand between them and slid it down the front of Alison's panties, her fingertips seeking and finding the blonde's swollen clit. Alison sunk her teeth gently into the hollow of Emily's throat in response as she rocked her hips. Emily's body jerked softly and she turned her face into Alison's hair as it formed a curtain over both their faces.

"I love you, Ali," Emily whispered against her ear as her fingers teased the little bud before sliding her fingers lower and slipping them into Alison.

Alison whimpered and pressed down on her girl's fingers as she rocked her hips a little faster. She turned her face and captured Emily's lips again as she braced herself on one hand and slipped the other down between them. Two could play at this game.

The blonde's fingers dipped beneath Emily's sleep shorts and panties and a whispered "fuck" escaped Alison's lips as her fingers found her mermaid hot and wet.

"Ali," Emily moaned her girlfriend's name as she shifted and spread her legs to give Alison better access. Alison took the invitation and slipped her fingers lower, sliding first one and then a second finger into her girl as her thumb continued to tease the brunette.

Their kisses lengthened and deepened as both women bucked and rolled their hips as they pleasured each other.

Alison writhed on top of Emily and the sensation of her girl's breasts against her nipples made them ache and throb. Alison tore her lips away from Emily's pressed her hand into the mattress as she pushed up higher. Emily took the hand the was not buried inside the blonde and grasped Alison's breast. She lifted her head and wrapped her lips around her girlfriend's nipple.

Alison's entire body jerked and she thrust her fingers deep inside Emily, pumping them steadily into the warm depths. Emily swirled her tongue around Alison's nipple before flicking the hard bud in the same rhythm and speed as her fingers were flicking the blonde's clit.

"Em," Alison choked as her body convulsed, the combined stimulation sending her body into a hard shuddering orgasm. The pleasure consumed her for long seconds as her body clutched Emily's fingers, the sensation rolling through her body in long slow waves.

She panted against the top of Emily's head as the brunette continued to suckle her.

"Kiss me," she begged and Emily released her nipple and tilted her face up so Alison could capture her lips again. The blonde's fingers sped up and thrust deeper as she pressed down on her girl. Suddenly Alison pulled her lips away and pulled her hands out of Emily's body. She pushed back and off the bed, dropping to her knees beside it.

"Ali," Emily sat up shocked and surprised at the sudden movement and loss of Alison on and in her.

Alison grasped Emily's shorts and pulled them and her panties down and threw them across the room before diving between her thighs. The blonde yanked Emily to the edge of the mattress and buried her tongue inside her girl as she used her fingers to spread the brunette wide.

"Oh god," Emily cried out as she lifted her hips and bucked against Alison's face. She reached down and slid her fingers into Alison's hair, tugging on the long strands and making the blonde grunt before pulling Alison closer. When Alison wrapped her lips around Emily's clit and sucked hard, while flicking her tongue against the tip, that was all it took and Emily's orgasm slammed into her. She lifted her hips off the mattress and arched her back as her thighs shook around the blonde's head.

She felt Alison's tongue lashing against her before it was thrust inside her again and Emily's body shuddered as the pleasure overwhelmed her.

She lost track of how long her orgasm lasted but finally her hips fell to the mattress again and she felt Alison's tongue soften and the blonde's fingers flutter gently up and down her calves.

Emily threw her arm over her eyes and panted as she tried to catch her breath. Alison's lips brushed softly along the inside of her thighs before she moved slowly up her mermaid' body.

"I love you, my goddess," Alison murmured against Emily's lips when she reached them. Emily kissed her back softly and wrapped her arms around the blonde as she settled gently on top of her again.

A few minutes later Alison rolled to the side and settled on the mattress beside her mermaid, her eyes still closed.

"Are you alive there?" Emily asked with a soft laugh as she rolled onto her side and leaned on her elbow.

The blonde sighed tiredly. "I can't believe I have a five thirty call time tomorrow."  
Emily looked over at the clock on the nightstand. It was almost ten thirty.

"You need get some sleep, love."

"I have to take Pepe to pee first," Alison said without opening her eyes.

"I've got him," Emily insisted as she sat up and looked for her pajamas. "You just get under the covers and go to sleep."

Alison just grunted but didn't move and Emily chuckled as she found her shirt on the floor beside the bed and her shorts hanging off the lamp on Alison's bureau. She slipped them on and then leaned down and pressed a kiss to the side of Alison's head.

"I'll be right back."

Emily walked down the stairs to find Pepe in his bed in the corner of the living room. The dog seemed to now have a sixth sense now about when to stay out of the bedroom, although most nights he makes it back into the room to his bed at the foot of Alison's.

"Come on, Pepe," Emily said as she shoved her feet into her sneakers before walking toward the kitchen and grabbing Pepe's leash. She walked back into the living room to find the dog sitting by the front door.

Emily pulled the door open, stopping in her tracks as she looked into three pairs of very familiar eyes.

"Emily Fucking Fields! What the hell have you done?"

* * *

**Author's note:** I'm unable to provide a definitive updating schedule for this but my goal is to have it finished by the end of the summer. When I went back and reread everything I realized I was much farther along in the story that I realized. It will probably another 3-4 chapters after this. I have several open stories that I also need to wrap up but my plan is to finish this one first. I think I caught all the typos but it's harder to do these days so please excuse any. If anyone sees anything glaring, please let me know.

**Here is a short sneak peek at the next chapter…..  
**

"Ali, wait," Emily pleaded breathlessly as the blonde's tongue swirled slowly around her belly button.

Alison growled with frustration and lifted her head. "I can't believe you're bringing this up when I'm going down on you." The blonde sat back on her heels and looked at Emily, seeing the distress in her eyes and realized she was not getting her mouth on her girl until they talked this out. "Neither one of us was celibate while we were apart, Em. Don't you remember saying that to me? Can't we just leave it at that?"

"I don't see the girls I was intimate with anymore, Ali. You see Cece all the time. You see Jack all the time. You see Holbrook all the time."

"Whoa, whoa, wait a sec. I never slept with Gabe."

"You didn't?"

"No. Em, I was never really involved with him. All of that was an act to trick Courtney."

"Then why did he transfer to the LAPD?"

"Not for me. I hadn't seen him since Rosewood. I never knew he transferred to LA. I got brought into the police station one day and when I was being booked he walked out of an office and recognized me."

"Why were you being booked."

"I had a disagreement with a cop over a speeding ticket."

"A disagreement?" Emily arched her brow and Alison scoffed.

"Do you really find that all that surprising considering how well you know me?"

"So he's never tried to pursue you?"

"I didn't say that but nothing ever happened between us. And who I was with in the past means nothing, Em."

Emily looked thoughtful and Alison climbed back up over her.

"Only you," Alison murmured as she brushed her lips over Emily's throat.

Emily sighed and arched her back in response. Her nipples brushed against Alison's breasts as they hung over her.

"No one else, ever," Alison breathed against the shell of Emily's ear before biting down gently.

Emily shuddered and hiked her leg over the back of Alison's thigh as she pulled the blonde down on top of her. She turned her face and took Alison's lips in a kiss that conveyed the depth of her feelings. Alison relaxed on top of her mermaid, mewling and purring against Emily's lips as the kiss lengthened and deepened.  
Emily's hand slid down Alison's back and gripped her ass and with the blonde sufficiently distracted, Emily used her foot to push and roll them both over so she was on top. She pushed Alison's thighs wide and settled between them before reluctantly pulling her lips away, trapping Alison's hands beside her head.

"I'm on top this morning, Alison," Emily said, her eyes dark as she used her girlfriend's full name.

"Yes," Alison breathed, shuddering as she felt those words settle low and deep between her thighs. Emily very rarely used her full first name and usually it was when she was in trouble. But there were those even rarer times when her girl used it when she wanted to take control. Alison trembled because those times, when she gave up control, surrendered willingly and eagerly, gave every part of herself over to the woman she loved that Alison knew, without one shred of hesitation or insecurity, that she and Emily were made to be together.

**Thanks again for reading and please leave a reply if you enjoyed it. Reviews make my heart happy.**


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